5. Jack

5

JACK

I watch Camilla as she paces in front of the picture windows of my apartment, phone pressed to her ear. The lights of New York bounce against the bay, lighting up the ripples of water.

"That'll be just fine. But we have a schedule to keep. We can't deal with any more changes."

Tomorrow, we leave for Hawaii. We've been solidifying our plans for the past week. Meanwhile, the team has been assembled, an amazing team thanks again to Seth.

I took Camilla's advice and practiced the presentation for her. It went over exactly as we wanted it to.

All that's left now on our end is to get the ball rolling. Get the beans.

Which is why she's spent the past hour confirming all our appointments for a trip.

Letting Camilla on as a partner is the best thing I've done thus far. I can take on the brunt of the creative work while she uses her business know-how to get everything in line. If it wasn't for her, I'd be up shit's creek.

"Okay, we'll see you then. Bye." Camilla hangs up her phone and tosses it onto the couch. "Arghhhhh…" She keels over until she's crumpled over the sofa.

I chuckle. "Was that it?"

"Yep," she says into the couch cushion. "That was the last of them."

She remains there for a long moment before lifting her head to look at me. "Anything else on the list?"

I check the to-do list. The only thing that hasn't been taken care of is a point that I didn't put on the list. I swallow. "I think we're good to go."

"Thank god."

"Just have to get there…"

"Yeah, don't remind me. I'm already dreading the flight."

I go over to the plastic bag of Chinese takeout on the counter. "All right, I think it's dinner time."

"Yes, I'm starving." Camilla drags herself up to standing and stretches her body out long, showing off a slight of skin at her belly.

I hold my breath and try not to stare. I'm grateful beyond compare Camilla agreed to take her job back, but I can't shake my attraction to her. Not to mention, the way she said "Sir" lives rent-free in my mind. Sometimes, I watch her luscious mouth and pray it will pop out again.

With a long sigh, Camilla trudges over to the kitchen island and plops down across from me as I pull out cartons of Chinese food.

"Thank you for dinner."

"Of course. I'm the bank roll, remember?"

She giggles, grabbing a bag of chopsticks and a container of lo mein. "Yeah, feel bad about taking that twenty percent since I'm not investing anything, but…"

I smirk. "You don't really feel bad."

She bites down on her tongue with a coquettish smile.

Goddamn, she's cute. "Besides, you're investing plenty. Time. Skill."

"Not the same." She fishes a clump of noodles out of the carton. "But I'm glad you're tricking yourself into thinking that."

I watch her lips contort around the noodles, slurping as she goes, ignoring the way that sound makes my body feel. "No use regretting what's already in writing."

My lawyer drew up a new contract right after our meeting in the Bronx. I might lack a bit of sense in the business department, but if I know anything, it's about the importance of having everything tied up in a contract. I can thank my dad for that sensibility.

Camilla devours her food for a few minutes before pulling out her phone. "Okay, so I have the itinerary broken down by the half hour and–"

"Camilla, relax. You need to eat and not think about all of that for a second."

She rolls her eyes, takes a big bite of egg roll, and says, "Okay, Dad ."

So, she is a brat, is she? I want to smile but don't as my hand tingles. If she were mine, this would not go without a very pleasurable consequence for both. "And don't talk with your mouth full."

Camilla smiles, lowering her eyes while she chews.

God, that little act of submission alone has me hard.

I clear my throat, and her eyes meet mine again, captivating always, and this close, all the delicate flecks of gold and amber strewn throughout the brown shining through.

I pull my eyes away and focus on spooning some orange chicken onto a bed of fried rice.

She wipes her mouth. "I just need to know when you're going to visit your mom so I can build that into what we already have."

My blood runs cold. "Oh. Yeah. Sure."

"Have you confirmed a time with her yet?" She goes for the noodles again. "Our nights are mostly free."

I bite on the inside of my cheek, saying nothing.

"Jack?"

"Yeah, about that…"

Camilla sticks her chopsticks into the carton of noodles. "You didn't call her, did you?"

I purse my lips.

"Jack…"

"I know, okay. I just…" I'm scared . "Look, if we're down there, I can just pop by and say hello."

"If I were your mom and you didn't tell me you'd be in town until you were already there, and I didn't have a chance to cook you a nice dinner or put you up for the night or something, I'd be so upset."

Oh, sweet Camilla. "Yeah, my mom isn't like that. She's…well, like I said, it's complicated."

Camilla is quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry." She lowers her eyes again before picking up her chopsticks again. "It's your mom, your business. I get it, family stuff is weird."

I watch her rummage through the container of lo mein. Maybe she's right. Maybe I should just call ahead. Who knows, maybe mom'll surprise me?

I check my watch. Almost nine here, so it should be around three there. Don't have an excuse that it would be an inappropriate time to call. "Look, if it is so important to you, I'll call."

Camilla's eyes fly to mine, shining. She grins and it lights something inside me up.

I grab my phone out of my back pocket and scroll through my calls. The last time my mom and I talked was…a month ago. Because I called. The time before that, I don't even remember. I try not to let that get me down but sometimes, I wonder if she even remembers I exist outside my phone calls.

I tap the contact and press the phone to my ear. It rings once. Twice. "She might not pick up."

I'm not even sure if I want her to.

"She will, you'll see." She almost bounces in her seat, clapping her hands before she seems to catch herself and sets her hands on the island, as if smoothing the surface.

I imagine her hands running along my shoulders and that causes a cascade of relief through my body.

I almost forget the ringing tone on my ear.

My mother's serene voice wafts through the phone like a summer breeze, comforting, yet bittersweet. "Jack, what do you need?"

"Hi, Mama."

"I don't have much time. I'm picking up Kelly and Winston from school."

There's a pang in my chest. "It's okay, I only need a minute."

"What is it, keiki ?"

Camilla leans forward. Not sure if she's trying to listen or if she's on the edge of her seat.

I turn my eyes away from her. I underestimated how vulnerable I'd feel talking to my mother in front of her.

When my mother calls me keiki, it makes me feel like I'm hers, and yet she puts me at a distance with school pickups and rushed sentences. "I'm visiting the Big Island."

"Oh? When?"

"Flying in tomorrow, actually," I say. "I'm buying a coffee plantation."

My mother laughs. "About time!"

I smile to myself.

"How long will you be here?"

"A week."

"Only a week? No, that's no good…"

"I'd like to stop by and see you if that's all right."

My mother hesitates, and at that one moment, my heart starts to crack. "It's a bad week, Jack. Kelly's got a dance competition, and Winston's been struggling. He needs a lot of attention right now. I'm not sure I have any time to spare."

I square my shoulders. I knew this was coming, knew this was what I was setting myself up for. I was never enough for her, never important enough to take time away from her life. I'm glad my siblings have that from her. I'm just sorry I was never a priority.

This disappointment is not on her. She will always be who she is. This is solely on me. That for even a second, I dared to dream things would ever change. "I understand, Mama."

"If you were staying a bit longer–"

If I was staying for a day or for a year, reality would not change. Time I accept that. But I'm only human, and I don't care how old you are, your mom is your mom. "It's fine."

If only something was happening in my life important enough for my mother to pay attention…

I look at Camilla.

Her expression is confused, almost pitying. Fuck, I don't want that from her.

"You come see us for Thanksgiving! Your father has gotten all your holidays for years now!"

Instead of pulling my focus from Camilla, I stare at her harder.

She's a beautiful woman. Smart and funny. Someone I'd be proud to have on my side. Someone I'd love to bring home to meet my family.

"Look, the kids just got out, so I'm going to have to–"

"I was just hoping–" My mouth gets hot. Do I want to do this?

Fuck. Why can't I get my own mother to want to see me without having to come up with an excuse? But I miss her. I know I'll be hurt all over again, but I can't stop myself from wanting to see her, to hug her, to feel her arms around me as I breathe her in. To feel home.

I square my shoulders, eyes square on Camilla's. "I just was hoping you could meet my girlfriend while I'm down there."

Camilla's eyes narrow for a second. Then, they widen to ridiculously cute levels. Her jaw drops and feelings I can't try to begin to understand flash behind her eyes.

I know she understands what I'm saying, and she is not happy, but I can't deal with that right now. Not when I'm on the phone with my mother.

"What?! Did you say a girlfriend?! You want me to meet–" My mother lets out a laugh. "Oh, Jack, why didn't you lead with that?"

Because a normal person wouldn't have to lie to have their mother be happy they were visiting. "I don't know. But if you can spare an hour or two, maybe–"

"No, no. You'll stay with us! We have the room. I want to meet her, make sure she's a good fit. All right? Cancel your hotel."

Staying in a house with my mother, stepfather, and their two children has never appealed to me, but I have to admit, I'm elated she at least asked. Too bad it took me lying to her to have her welcome me like this. "You don't have to do that."

"Nonsense. Of course, I–" There is commotion in the background. "The kids are here, have to go. Text me the details and–"

"Will do, talk soon, love you," I blurt before I change my mind.

I place my phone on the counter and close my eyes.

I did it. I really did it. And I'm going to see my mother. Spend time with her.

" Jack …"

Camilla. Fuck. For a second there, I forgot where I was.

And she sounds mad. Really mad.

The sound of her chair scuffing backward forces me to open my eyes to find Camilla leaning over the island, teeth bared. "You think that I'm going to pretend to be your girlfriend? Did I hear that right?"

I give her a hapless smile. "Please. Let's just…talk about this."

"Oh, my freaking god…" Camilla's eyes shut. "You've got to be freaking kidding me.

"I told you it was complicated." I sigh. "She wouldn't see me any other way."

Her eyes fly open. "So, you lie and say your business partner is your girlfriend ?"

I think of the right thing to say. Nothing comes.

Her eyes narrow to slits and she stomps her foot. "You've got another thing coming if you think I'm going to agree to this."

I circle the island toward her. "Please, Camilla. I know it's not in the purview of a normal business agreement, but–"

"Don't use business jargon to try and erase just how insane this is!" She backs away from me.

I take another step toward her. "You were the one insisting I call her. That she would want to see me. Please. You have no idea how much it'd mean to me if you'd agree, Camilla, seriously."

She steps back again. "I-I did not take this job to play house with you, Jack. We're starting a business here!"

"No one will know except my mom and her family! It won't ruin your reputation or–"

"That's not the point! The point is we are working together, and this is–this would–" She stops and huffs. "This complicates things."

I don't respond right away, letting the temperature cool down. "I know it's not in the job description."

"No, definitely not." She crosses her arms over her chest, pouting as she frowns. So cute.

"But it's only for the week," I say. "And like I said, you have no idea what it would mean to me. I just want to see my mom."

Camilla's face softens, her full lips growing heavy.

"I wouldn't have done it if it didn't mean the world to me to see her." And that's the honest truth.

I might have issues with the way she ignores my existence most of the time, but she's still my mom. And I do love her. That's why it would be so painful not to see her at all.

"There's a line, Jack. You know, a professional line. You can't just cross the line because then you never know what might happen."

"Then this probably isn't a good time to say she wants us to stay with them."

Camilla groans.

"I can tell her no. I can–"

Her eyes are closed now as she shakes her hanging head. "This is a disaster."

I take another step toward her. This time, she doesn't back away. "I think we're both adults, we can keep things professional."

Her gaze fly to mine. "But we'll have to act like a couple in front of people. We'll have to touch each other and probably kiss each other. Oh god ." She covers her eyes with her hands.

"I didn't know I was so unappealing to you," I try to joke.

Camilla throws her hands up.

"The problem isn't that you're un appealing, the problem is you're–" Her eyes widen as her lips press firmly against each other, forming a line.

Our eyes connect for a moment. Only a single moment, but it's long enough for me to get the picture.

My heart pumps harder. "I'm what?"

"Jack…"

I step closer to her again.

It was hard enough when I thought this attraction was one-sided. But am I reading her right? "I'm what , Camilla?"

I have been keeping this side of me hidden for so long. And ever since she called me sir, I've been wondering and wanting. More. But I knew she didn't feel the same.

Now Camilla's given me an inch, an inch I so desperately needed, and I guess I want a mile. I want to know what she thinks of me, how she sees me.

If it's anything like the way I see her…then I understand why she's terrified.

Because I'm terrified too. But I need to know.

My voice lowers. "Camilla?"

She lets out a tight breath. "You are … appealing. All right?"

She turns to walk away, but I move faster, cutting her off at the end of the island.

Her body nearly collides square into mine.

She yelps in surprise, tries to take a step back, but runs into one of the chairs tucked under the island.

Instead of moving away, though, she looks up at me.

Every nerve in my body burns for her. I want to grab her, pull her flush to me, have her feel me. Let her know . More than that. I want to make her feel safe. Protected. Taken care of.

But I don't. "We'll just have to promise to keep things professional, then. I think we're both capable of that."

Camilla's inky lashes darken her eyes, and they lower to my chest as she bites her bottom lip, making me even harder.

Her voice comes out soft. "What about me?"

I frown. "What do you mean?"

Her eyes stay downcast, and her hands go to the hem of her blouse. "Uh…Am I…" She clears her throat. "Am I unappealing?"

I resist a smile.

"I mean, you know, because we should even the playing field. Since you know I find you a…appealing and all, so I should… you know..."

Seems funny to be dancing around the word attraction. Appealing feels tame in comparison. Objective. Clinical, almost.

Attractive would imply there's a pull between us.

I feel that pull. Deep in my bones. However, it would only get worse if I spoke it into existence.

"Camilla, I find you very… appealing."

Blood rushes to her cheeks. "Oh."

"Better?"

Camilla shakes her head. "Not really."

"Then why'd you ask?"

"Because I wanted to know. Is that bad?"

Yes, it is. Because now we both know. We know that it is only a matter of when, not if.

Now we both know I could lean down and kiss her right now. One thing could lead to another, and I could take her to my bed. Make her scream my name. Call me what I've been craving for so long. Sir. Daddy.

I could argue it would be good practice for faking attraction in front of the family. While knowing it could ruin everything.

I've already crossed the line in a massive way. She will have to take the next step if she wants anything more. I'm a Daddy. Not hers, but still. I'm supposed to take care of her. Protect her. Keep her safe.

"No, not bad," I say in a gentle voice.

Camilla whisks a few curls away from her eyes as her shoulders sag a bit, a ghost of a smile on her face. "Oh, okay. Great. Well… uhm…"

"We'll have to lay some ground rules."

Her chest heaves. "Yes. Good. Rules."

"First one: we only act like a couple when my family is around."

She nods. "That's good."

"Two, you can touch me any way you want when we are in public, as long as it is respectful. Am I allowed to touch you?"

Her face reddens. "You have my consent, yes, just, please at the waist or above." Her eyes widen. Camilla gestures toward her chest. "Except my…"

I nod. "Of course. I wouldn't dream of it."

I have. Many times. But would never touch her without her consent.

"Well, you can touch my…" I mimic her circular movement indicating my chest.

Camilla giggles.

"Those are my rules. Want to add any other rules, Camilla?"

She shakes her head. "I'll let you know if I remember anything."

"Very well." I smile. "Oh, and one more thing."

"Is…is it another rule?"

"Only one."

"Which is…?"

I place my hand on the chair behind her, caging her in so she can't run away. Her body doesn't tense or balk at the idea of being kept. I wonder if the woman who always has everything under control wouldn't mind losing that control in the right circumstances.

I lower my head so my lips are near her ear. "Don't ever call me ‘Sir', ‘Dad'—" I take a deep breath and just go for broke. "—or ‘Daddy' again unless you want to know just how appealing you are to me."

Camilla's breath hitches before her chest starts heaving. She does not draw away.

"Are we clear?"

She nods.

"Use your words."

"Clear."

That's all. Nothing follows.

If she had dared me, challenged me in any way, her clothes would be off in ten seconds flat, and I'd bury myself inside.

I almost wish she had.

No. Not almost.