20. Ryan

CHAPTER 20

Ryan

H arold's baritone voice booms from the doorway. Beverly giggles like a young woman, and I roll my eyes, knowing that Harold is making good on his interest in Beverly.

"You can go right in," Beverly says.

Harold enters my office with a huge smile.

"No," I say. "Don't you dare walk in here like that. Beverly!" I call for her but only hear the girlish giggle again.

Harold closes the door to my office, still grinning from ear to ear.

"You ruined my assistant," I say.

"You're damn right I did," he says, still grinning, holding his hand up for a high five I'm not giving him.

"Gross. Now, why are you here?"

"The trustees are having a vote. They want to usurp the will reading date and push it ahead. Make it sooner."

"Why?"

"Because they think it'll force your hand. They don't want to wait until your birthday, until summer. They want to do it now."

"But I'm not ready yet," I say. "I haven't even had a chance to tell her the truth."

"What are you waiting for? You keep talking about how she's your spark and your soulmate, but here we are now, less than two months from your birthday, and you're not any closer to getting married."

"I know. Trust me, I know. But there are more important things than money or an inheritance, Harold. You know that."

I point towards the door, and his eyebrow raises.

"Is this about sex?" he asks. "Because I know a good doctor if you're needing help?—"

"No! I'm fine."

I shake my head as I pace the room.

"Ryan, what do you want me to tell them? You know I'm on your side, but they're getting antsy. None of us even knows what's in the final document."

"What do you mean none of you know?"

"Part of your father's will was sealed upon death, only to be opened either when you get married or when you turn forty. The contents of that could change everything."

"Everything? Really? Are you saying I might lose the company anyway?"

"None of us knows. For all we know, instead of you joining the trustees, your father might've chosen someone else."

"But I thought the role travels with the company."

"It does, but I'm just saying anything is possible at this point. Now, back to you. What's the issue?"

"I'm probably overthinking things," I say. "But I want everything to be perfect."

"Ryan, I hate to break it to you, but nothing's perfect. If you're waiting for perfection, then you'll be waiting forever. Jump in, take the leap. Tell her the truth. Do you really want to lose the woman you say is your soulmate?"

"We haven't even had sex yet," I say.

"Ohhhh, now I get it. You're afraid of committing because it might not be great."

"No, it's the lying. As much as I want to have sex with her, it's not right for me to do it when I'm knowingly lying to her."

"And she hasn't asked about it?"

"She's not ready. She's a virgin. I get it; she's young, and she's been sheltered. It's working for me because I still haven't told her the truth, so it's buying me time."

"But part of you doesn't care because you just want to get jiggy with it."

"Harold, no one says that anymore." I laugh. "It's conversations like these that make me miss my dad."

Harold walks over to my desk chair and sits down, leaning all the way back.

"This is nice," he says. "Now listen carefully because I'm not going to repeat this—women know things. Open up to her and be honest with her instead of continuing this ridiculous charade. That's probably what's holding her back. Trust me, a little honesty, and you'll be getting some afternoon delight in no time."

"Harold, please stop. And never talk to me again."

"Are you kidding? You'd miss this!" He sits up in the chair and leans on the desk. "So when will you talk with her?"

"First of all, this has nothing to do with sex. You're right, though, that I let the lying continue for too long. I know I have, and I feel bad about that, but there's nothing I can do about that now. Second, we have plans to go to the cabin this weekend. I told her it belongs to a friend of mine. So I'll tell her the truth there, and we'll see how that goes."

"Wait, let me get this straight," he says. "You're going to take her to a cabin deep in the woods, and then you're going to tell her you've been lying to her for the last five months? That's a great idea. Tell her something upsetting in a location she can't get away from."

I let out a long sigh. "You have a point about that. I'll do it after we get back. How did this become so complicated?"

"That's what happens when you lie," he says.

I thought about my time with Carina and wondered if she could tell something wasn't right. It makes sense with how I take her outside of the city or never bring her to my home. I'm lucky she hasn't left me yet.

I need to do better for her. She deserves that.