17. Carina

CHAPTER 17

Carina

T he doorbell wakes me with its nonstop buzzing. I reach for my phone to check the time because it's still dark out. My phone says at 6 AM. Who would be here at this hour?

In the morning fog, I sadly begin to worry that maybe something happened. There's no other reason for anyone to ring my doorbell like that unless it's an emergency.

I quickly put on some sweats and get to the door just as the doorbell finally stops. I pull the door open too quickly, and it slips from my hand and slams against the wall. I hope that between that and the doorbell, no one else in the apartment building is being awakened, but I doubt that.

I reach the exterior door and see my mother standing on the stoop. My stomach drops, and my hands tremble, thinking that something happened to Grandma.

I unlock the door, and she rushes in quickly.

"Is he here? I didn't see his car, so I'm guessing he's not here." She storms past me and into the apartment. I get a pungent stench of whiskey from her like vapor trails. I follow close behind her, unsure what she is talking about and annoyed.

"Mom, it's 6 AM. Why are you here? Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, everything's fine. Unless you count that I'm broke."

"I'm sorry to hear that. Have you been out all night?"

"No, I just got up a few hours ago. I need to talk to you, and now is as good a time as any."

I clear off the mail from the kitchen table, and put down a couple of placemats.

She sits down at the table, and I open the refrigerator.

"Are you hungry? Do you want something to eat?" I ask.

She sits back in the chair and looks around the small apartment.

"You don't seem to have much here of any worth," she says.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Well, I just think for someone who is dating someone with his kind of money, you'd have some better stuff. You know, gifts."

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm just stating the obvious. You know, as your mom, I'm the only person you can ever really trust in the world."

I look at her and briefly wonder if she's high as well as drunk. She is the last person I would ever count on in my life.

"Come here, honey," she says as she pats the seat next to her. "I need to talk to you."

I take the toast that I just finished buttering and place it between us on the table.

"You know all we have is each other, right?" she says.

"If you're including Grandma in that, then yes, I agree."

We can leave my mother out of this discussion," she says.

"I need to ask you for a little favor, Carina. I'm in a bad situation, Carina. And I need you to help me."

"Help you? How?"

"With money," she says.

And there it is; Grandma was right. Mom is only here because she wants something.

"I don't have any money to lend you."

"What about a credit card? You can apply for a new one and put it in my name."

"No, Mom, I'm sorry. I'm not going to do that. I don't even have a job right now. I don't know how I would even get approved for a credit card."

"Well look at you all sweet and innocent. You know what they say--the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I can recognize a scheme when I see one. You're not as innocent as you seem."

"Again, Mom, I don't know what you're talking about."

"You sure play a good game. You might be even better than me. It looks like you've got them both eating from the palm of your hand. I knew if I left you, you'd manage to figure something out. So, are you grifting them? Or is this some kind of long game?"

"I think you should leave," I said.

"Are you kidding me? I just got here, and you haven't told me anything yet. All I need is a little money, and then you'll never hear from me again. I know that's what you really want. You and your grandmother. Plus, I still haven't gotten what I want. Maybe I should tell Alex and Ryan the truth about you. Let's see how quickly you lose both those boyfriends of yours."

"The truth about me? Like you even know me at all. And not that it's any of your business, but Alex and Ryan aren't my boyfriends. What do you think? This is some kind of trashy novel? This is my life! Now, if you would please leave. I don't want to deal with this, especially not so early."

"He's a liar, you know. I know who he really is," she says. "You might be too stupid to realize that, but you're in way over your head."

"That's enough, Mom!" I yell at her. "Now, please leave. Otherwise, I'll have to call the cops."

"Fine. I see how it is. Picking your boyfriends over your poor mom. Let's see how long that lasts."

"Bye, Mom."

She stumbles out the door and trips down the stairs. I stand there motionless, watching as she struggles to get up and then slips again. I lock the door and head back to bed.