Chapter 22 - Freya

Chapter 22

Freya

It rained that evening, and an early November snow fell overnight. It thawed by mid-morning, which would have been just in time for my training session with Flint, except we were inside using weights that Elder Forest servants had dropped off. Flint promised my strength would return in no time, thanks to my wolf shifter blood.

Afterwards, we showered off, and the three of us spent a lazy afternoon in the hot tub again.

"Guys, I haven't seen Rowan in days," I complained, my eyes closed and my head leaned back on the edge of the tub while the rest of my body was completely submerged.

"He feels responsible for the mission he didn't finish while he was here," Flint said, as always trying to reassure me.

"Rowan isn't one to be defeated," Heath added.

"Or… he's still pissed that his new packmate turned out to be half-witch."

"Don't worry, we've been talking to him through the pack bond. I went on a run with him yesterday."

Pure envy slammed into me, and my wolf whimpered, pawing at the walls of my mind like she wanted to come out.

I know you will when you're ready, I whispered to her. Both parts of me longed for it, but neither knew how to.

I wanted to run with Rowan. I wanted to be able to shift and talk to them through the pack bond. I wanted to be included.

That's what it was… as much as I loved my new pack, I still felt like an outcast among them. And that reminded me of Rowan's words: Sometimes I feel like an outsider, even from them.

I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

"He doesn't like being in his human form," I mused.

"Nope," Heath agreed. "Now open up."

My eyebrows shot up until I remembered that he'd brought up grapes to feed me in the hot tub. I smiled at his thoughtfulness. He reminded me to eat even when I didn't even notice I was hungry. My body seemed to need more calories than before… maybe because I was still healing from my coma, or maybe because of my upcoming heat? I didn't remember being that hungry before last time, though.

As Heath fed me one grape after another, I let out a contented sigh, and my shoulders sank below the water again. Behind him, Flint gave me a knowing smile.

I grinned, realizing he was giving Heath space to care for me. He knew Heath needed it, and for Flint, whatever made me happy, made him happy.

Heath noticed my widening grin and asked, "What?"

"I just never expected you to be the type to dote on a lover," I said, stealing his signature move to wink at him. I paired it with a soft smile that hopefully conveyed how much I approved of this surprise love language of his.

Growling, he pinned me against the wall of the hot tub, his muscular arms caging me in on both sides under the water. My body instantly flooded with heat that had sweat beading on my forehead. I gasped, wondering if my heat would arrive so quickly when the last one had left me hanging for almost a month.

"I never doted on my lovers," he replied, causing me to growl possessively.

With effort, I pulled my attention back to his words, as he finished, "But for my love, I would do anything."

"Oh?" I teased, urging him on. Heath's gravelly voice and golden eyes made me wild with desire.

His sexy smile turned playful. "Speak your desires, vixen, and I'll see them through."

I tilted my head back, pretending to consider. He probably expected me to voice some desire like the threesome we'd shared in the hot tub yesterday. But my heart ached for my missing alphas, Gage and Rowan.

As if sensing my needs, warmth poured across the pack bond to me. Gage had noticed from afar, and his presence in the pack bond assured me that he would be with me as soon as he could.

My pack was taking care of me in the ways they knew how. I'd never had a family in truth, but being with them, belonging with them, that's what I imagined a family to be. A connection so strong, no distance could tear it apart. Everyone did their best to care for everyone else. And everyone belonged.

I opened my eyes to find Heath studying me. A flush filled my cheeks as I realized I'd left him hanging.

"In truth…" I murmured, feeling embarrassed.

Why couldn't I be content with what Flint and Heath gave me every day? Why must I yearn for the others so much?

Heath put his fingers on my chin and gave me a quick peck on the lips. "Anything for you."

"I wish I could say something sexy, not ruin the moment. But all I want right now is to see Rowan," I admitted. "I want to spend some time with him… in human form. So he can get to know me, and see I'm not evil like the witches who hurt him." The words tumbled out. "I know it's not kind of me to ask. I know he's more comfortable in wolf form, but…"

Heath silenced me with another soft kiss before looking deep into my eyes.

Then he pulled back with a grin. "I'll go beat some sense into your fourth mate right now."

He rose from the tub, and I grabbed at his wrist.

"No, Heath, you don't have to— Rowan doesn't—"

"I think Rowan would secretly be thrilled to know you asked after him," Flint's low words cut me off.

"Don't worry, little wolf," Heath said as he toweled off, towering over us outside the hot tub. "I know how to handle Rowan."

I sank back in the water with a sigh as Heath disappeared from the bathing chamber.

"What is it, moonbeam?"

"I just don't want you to think you're not enough for me," I said, opening my arms to him.

Flint obliged me, pulling me onto his lap in the water. He wasn't hard for me; he sought only to comfort me when I needed solace.

"You know you don't have to explain that to me, love," Flint whispered across my lips before trailing kisses over them, down to my chin, and over to my neck.

As Flint cuddled and reassured me, I had to hope Heath knew the same thing. I'd never imagined myself in a relationship with one alpha, let alone four, and it still amazed me that they didn't get more possessive and snippish with each other.

Flint was the steadiest and calmest of the pack. Gage was the leader, always looking out for everyone. Heath was the most playful but also the most unpredictable. And Rowan… he was a mystery to me — all I'd seen was the primal wolf, the animalistic hunter.

But he wasn't hunting me. He was avoiding me. I'd resolved to win him over bit by bit. It had taken the rest of us some time to come to terms with our unusual relationship. But I would never overcome Rowan's concerns if he wasn't around to even let me try.

By the time Flint and I made it back outside, the skies had cleared, and the temperature had dropped. But as the night awakened, the sounds of the forest called to me. I might not be able to run through the trees as a wolf yet, but I couldn't stand the thought of being cooped up inside again.

Flint caught me staring into the forest with a longing expression.

"I have an idea," he said, taking my hand. "Help me gather some stones."

Together, Flint and I made a big fire circle from the rocky grounds of the estate.

When Heath joined us, he grinned, delighted to see what we were up to. "My father is going to hate the fact that we ruined his landscaping."

He set about helping us gather fallen logs from the forest. As we worked, he told me, "I feel like I've finally put my accounts to good use."

I glanced over at him, wondering if I should remember what he was talking about. "What do you mean?"

"My father once set up accounts for me and my siblings. I said I never wanted to touch them. Well, I've used some of the funds to hire some… investigators, you might call them."

"What are they investigating?" Then I remembered the conversation about the disappearing wolves and how Dryden had accused Rowan of failing to help. "The disappearances?"

Heath shook his head, dropping the sticks and logs he'd gathered near the circle where Flint was building the fire. "No, that's Elder Forest business. I sent them to learn more about your origins based on what Ingrid told us. And most importantly, to find your sister."

If I hadn't been carrying a bunch of wood, I would've clapped a hand over my mouth. As it was, a very unladylike sound escaped me in my shock. "You did what?"

"I promise I'll let you know the moment they can tell me anything useful."

I dropped my armful of wood on the pile and threw myself into Heath's arms, fiercely hugging him.

"Thank you."

He chuckled and ran his hands down my hair. "Don't thank me yet. Who knows if they'll find anything."

I lingered in his embrace for several long moments before letting him go. By the time I turned back, Flint had a fire going. The fire soon drove back the chill of the evening, forcing me to take a step back.

Heath tapped out a message on his phone, and a few minutes later, two subordinate Elder Forest packmates showed up with two Adirondack chairs, which they placed in front of the fire. They also brought a bag of marshmallows and some sharpened sticks.

They both stared at the flames and then over to Heath before disappearing around the corner of the estate again. They returned with two more chairs.

Neither of them even spared me a glance. They kept their heads bowed, and one asked, "Anything else, alphas?"

"Don't mention this to my father," Heath gestured them away. "I'll tell him myself."

When the two of them were out of earshot, my mouth fell open. "You were supposed to meet him—"

Heath grinned and slid back into one of the chairs, getting comfortable. "I like to keep him waiting. He should never get comfortable bossing me around."

"Heath's like the burr caught in fur." Rowan's voice made me jump, coming out of the darkness without warning.

Heath chuckled and said, "Glad you could join us. What's that supposed to mean?"

"No matter how he tries to grab onto you, you'll always prick him back."

The orange firelight danced in Rowan's golden eyes as he emerged from the shadows of the forest. My eyes devoured the sight of him. Maybe it was because of my heat, but he looked magnificent to me. Like all the Howling Echo alphas, he stood over six feet, though he was the shortest among them. His bearing spoke of a calm confidence that could ignite into explosive action at a moment's notice.

He was handsome, with a strong jaw and a full beard he hadn't trimmed, though it didn't grow in as fully on his burned side. Combined with his disheveled hair and the burn marks on his face, he looked like a rugged warrior as he strode forward to join us with no hesitation.

"You startled me, Rowan." I smiled, wondering if he remembered the last time I'd said those words to him.

A ghost of a smile flickered over his features. "I brought no venison with me this time."

"But we have marshmallows," I pointed out.

Flint held out a hand to me and settled in the chair farthest from Heath. I settled in beside him, leaving space for Rowan between me and Heath. I hoped the two of them had worked out their differences. But if not, the marshmallows would have to substitute for popcorn.

"Rowan has a habit of startling people," Heath said. "In fact, it's how we met."

"Rowan snuck up on you?" I asked, grinning up at Rowan, who slowly made his way toward the chairs as though he feared it might be a trap.

I didn't invite him to sit beside me, because I didn't want to call attention to the fact that he hesitated. Instead, I just tried to include him in the conversation, hoping he would stay. He was like a wild animal — unpredictable and untamed.

"Yep," Heath confirmed. "I thought the fucker was a rogue alpha. Gage and I were in the wildlands at the time."

A roguish grin stole across Rowan's face, delighting me. Flint opened the bag of marshmallows and stabbed two on sticks, then held them up to the flames.

"I was within five feet of Heath before he ever caught sight of me."

"More like five yards, tough guy," Heath corrected.

I laughed, wondering which was more accurate. I might not have believed Rowan except I still remembered how the massive wolf had managed to reach the campsite with a doe in his jaws without me once hearing a thing.

"It was five feet. You nearly shit yourself."

Flint guffawed as Heath sputtered. "I—what I did was nearly kick your ass!"

I laughed along with Flint as more of the story came to light. This was how the Howling Echo came to be, and I wanted to hear every minute of it.

"Nearly," Rowan pointed out with his calm, quiet voice. Still, I noticed the way his lips curled up in a barely hidden smile.

Heath redirected his attention to me, explaining, "Rowan came out of nowhere in the middle of the wildlands, scared the shit out of me, and I rolled his ass. That's what happened. It's only because Gage intervened that it was a stalemate. That bastard knew from the first minute that Rowan belonged with us. He planned on marking him the instant he saw him, but he wanted to see for himself how well Rowan could hold his own. Gage is always two steps ahead, plotting and planning what's best for the pack."

I could hear the respect and admiration he had for Gage in Heath's voice. Separated from his best friend, Heath seemed less guarded, and it was easy to see signs that Heath had been pining after Gage for years. There was an undeniable touch of longing whenever Heath had the chance to talk about him.

"So, you and Gage were together before Rowan and Flint came along?" I asked.

A wistful look passed over Heath's face, maybe wishing he and Gage had truly been together.

After a pause, Heath explained, "When Gage's brother exiled him, I left Frost Fang, too. We'd always been inseparable as kids, and I didn't see any reason to change that. He went into the wildlands, and I went with him, simple as that."

How could Gage have failed to see it? Heath had so much love for him, he'd left his entire life and everything behind for Gage.

"And that's why your father ended up here."

Heath nodded. "He got Garth to invite me back, but I refused. So, Dryden came here to save face. And it was kind of a promotion for him, since Elder Forest is more powerful and influential. That's why when he acts offended about it, I don't take him seriously. My ‘exile,' as he calls it, didn't hurt him — it helped him."

And when Heath talked about his father, I could feel the hurt and betrayal in his voice. Dryden hadn't been a good father to him. He didn't really care about his pups; he only cared about how he could benefit from them.

And it all explained so much. Like why Heath had never had a true relationship, as well as why he'd been so hot and cold with me at first. I'd blindsided him with feelings he thought he only had for Gage… feelings he thought would remain unrequited.

With his father's toxic influence, not to mention Nira betraying Gage, Heath had probably believed I was trying to build relationships with them because of the deal or my heat — using them to benefit myself. By the time he'd realized I might actually feel something for him, and he had feelings for me, things between us were already such a mess.

It made me realize that Rowan and Heath shared one major personality trait in common — they both acted on their instincts. It might not have even been obvious to Heath why he'd tried to push me away.

If I hadn't already decided to forgive him, that would've been the moment I did. As it was, I felt the pieces of my heart sliding into place, as my relationship with Heath redefined itself.

The fire crackled in the silence, lulling us all into a peaceful moment of shared companionship. Flint held out a stick toward me, the marshmallow nice and dark on one side and golden on the other. I took the stick and blew on it, waiting for it to cool before I touched it.

I still hungered for more knowledge about the origins of the Howling Echo, so while I waited, I asked,

"How long was it before Gage offered Rowan the mark of the pack?"

"A few days?" Heath asked Rowan.

The reticent wolf nodded. "Three days."

"Three days!?" I howled. "You ambushed them in the wildlands and Gage offered you his mark after only three days!?"

Heath laughed, but Flint reached out a hand, stroking up and down my forearm to calm me.

"I didn't even sneak up on you guys, and it took him six weeks for me! Flint escorted me to you, and you treated me like an outsider!"

Heath's smile dropped, but his voice was kind as he explained. "You had two things working against you, little wolf." He ticked them off on his fingers. "One, you're a woman, and that left Gage naturally disinclined to trust you. Two, you can't shift, so our wolves couldn't hash things out." He gestured at Rowan. "Our wolves recognized each other as packmates long before our human sides did. It took three days for Rowan to convince us he wasn't a rogue alpha, especially considering how he stayed in wolf form."

Rowan added, "And it took me three days to trust you both."

My curiosity blunted my outrage, and I turned toward him. "You were the one who approached them. Why didn't you trust them?"

"My wolf trusted them immediately, but it was my human side that didn't."

I recalled how it had felt when Rowan had touched my lips but refused to kiss me. How he'd admitted his wolf wanted me, but that his "human side knows better."

I'd been taught as a young girl that once our wolves emerged, we were no longer one soul inside our bodies, but two entwined souls, like two sides of the same coin. Our wolves weren't truly separate entities, though it felt like that sometimes.

They were an aspect of ourselves, of our true natures, our bestial side… our primal side. The side that didn't have to guess, because its instincts were always right. The side that could sense another person's character with the first sniff. The side that could read all the telltale signs and know whether someone lied or told the truth. I willed Rowan to remember that now.

"Maybe you should listen to your wolf," I said softly.

Rowan stared over at me, and I realized how transparent I'd been. He could read between the lines, and he knew I wasn't talking about how he'd joined the Howling Echo.

He nodded, and replied in his low voice, "Maybe I should."