Chapter 12 - Freya

Chapter 12

Freya

I'd given Rowan his space ever since he made his pronouncement, which made my wolf feel wounded, despondent that her mate had rejected her. She'd barely moved inside my mind since then, and he'd shifted into wolf form to avoid talking to me anymore.

After too much silence the rest of the day, I was glad to go to sleep next to the fire again, despite the discomfort. I stirred at one point to find the dark wolf looming over me. When I rolled away to face the fire, he snuggled up behind me, keeping my back warm. And my agitated wolf curled up in my mind, settled at last.

I awakened the next morning with a naked man pressed tight against my body, proving Rowan couldn't deny me for much longer, despite his words. He knew we were meant to be together, even if only on a subconscious level.

With his naked body pressed to mine and my upcoming heat stirring my body, I wanted to grind back against him — see if I could break that iron control of his. But mating me had to be his choice.

I wouldn't take advantage while he was sleeping, but I refused to give up trying to win him over. Last night, I had let him retreat. Today, I would give him no quarter… as soon as he was awake enough to choose me back.

For now, though, I had to put an end to the temptation.

I carefully began disentangling myself from his powerful limbs, which caged me against his muscular chest. His muscles made a spike of need shoot through me. I'd been expecting a long break between heats… these unrelenting physical urges frustrated me. Warmth suffused the pack bond from Gage, as though he'd just gotten a sense of my predicament.

I'd been so angry at Gage. Then he'd sent Heath to me like a gift-wrapped package to unwrap, and he and Flint had even helped me test our pack alpha's restraint. Gage hadn't burst in like a jealous lover… even though part of me had wanted him to.

Every time I'd been with any of the other guys — like that threesome with Heath and Flint — Gage had reassured me through the pack bond. In fact, ever since he'd bitten me, Gage had done everything he could from afar to prove his intentions. Just like now, he assured me I could be with Rowan if I wanted to.

And I intended to. But Rowan wasn't on the same page yet. How could he be worried it would tear apart the pack after he'd seen Flint kiss me in front of them both?

Maybe he was worried about the heat, just as I'd once been with the others. Perhaps he feared it would arrive while the two of us were alone, and the others would be jealous, and it would tear the pack apart like he said.

Noticing Rowan's unwavering commitment to the Howling Echo, it became apparent why Gage had asked him to join the pack. Rowan's loyalty even stretched to doing a solo job far away from the others. Wolves and most shifters were pack animals, so I knew that couldn't have been easy on him, being away like that. Even knowing him for just a few days, I could tell he would suffer through almost anything if Gage asked him.

When he'd rescued me, he'd made the hard choice to let his other two packmates remain Ironwood prisoners so he and I could escape together. I hadn't been strong enough to make that choice, but Rowan had. My packmates had a plan, and Rowan stuck to it, even though he was an alpha, and alphas hated running from a fight.

He preferred wolf form, yet had switched to his two-legged form to keep me company and help provide for me. Although he had a clear dislike for fire, he maintained one so that I could stay warm and fed. All in all, though Rowan and I were just becoming acquainted, I knew him well enough to sense his honor, integrity, and loyalty to the pack.

It wasn't just my wolf that wanted him as her mate.

As soon as I could sit up, I ran my hand over Rowan's strong biceps and gave him a gentle shake. "Rowan, wake up."

I felt a little guilty, realizing he'd probably slept a lot less than I had the past few days as he stood watch during the night. But as I began to turn away, a big hand clasped my wrist.

He sat up quickly, his golden eyes scanning our small campsite. "Is there danger?"

I faced him with a smile. Of course my protective alpha instantly searched for a threat.

"No," I said, feeling suddenly foolish for waking him.

My throat tightened, and I couldn't explain why I'd been trying to wake him. My only excuse was that the heat was making it difficult to focus on anything other than him.

He nodded, as if appeased. Then his golden eyes met mine.

"I'll hunt for more game. You need to keep your strength up."

Without letting me reply, Rowan shifted into his wolf form. The massive black wolf soon disappeared into the undergrowth. He hadn't even been embarrassed at being caught naked at my side… and I considered that a good sign that we were making some progress.

Rowan truly seemed more wolf than man, and like any wild animal, I needed to be slow and methodical if I hoped to tame him. While he was gone, I built the fire back up and put some water on to warm.

Yesterday, when Rowan and I had been studiously avoiding one another, he'd hunted down the campsite of the three wolves he'd killed and had scavenged their belongings without remorse. He'd then filled their bucket from the river and brought fresh water back to our campsite, along with various cookware that I appreciated more than I cared to admit. Unfortunately, the items he brought didn't include any clothes or blankets that I could use. Of course, he'd shifted back to wolf before I could do much more than thank him.

I took a break from the fire to walk around the perimeter of our campsite, my ears pricked for any unusual sounds. Nothing but birdsong and the rustling of chipmunks and squirrels greeted my ears.

Being alone felt... strange. At Ironwood, someone had always been standing over me and Willow to make sure we kept hard at work, and used any opportunity to hurl insults at us and beat us. I'd briefly been alone in the wildlands before Flint found me under attack. Ever since then, at least one Howling Echo wolf had always accompanied me.

Certain I was properly alone, I took the heated water off the fire. The bucket was a game changer for us — we had to minimize going to the river, since it attracted other wildlands denizens as well, but now we didn't really have to conserve water use. And I was definitely going to take advantage of that fact.

After checking the water wasn't too hot, I used Rowan's soap and began washing myself, campground style. Warm water sluiced over my naked skin, and I hummed with the pleasure of feeling clean once more, closing my eyes to savor the experience. This was much more enjoyable than taking a freezing cold bath in the river.

When I'd rinsed off the last of the soap, my heart lurched as my eyes caught movement in the undergrowth. Fear paralyzed me as my eyes finally made out the form of a colossal black wolf, its piercing golden eyes locked onto me.

I'd expected Rowan would bring the game back here to cook, but he'd still startled me. I pulled my hair in front of me again, hiding the witch mark under my collarbone. Eventually, I would have to confess that I was part witch, but I wanted him to get to know me better, first. Hopefully he hadn't spotted the rune before I'd caught sight of him.

On the plus side, it seemed I was getting used to being naked around him.

I took a deep breath with a hand to my naked chest, over my long hair. "You startled me, Rowan," I admonished.

I watched him closely, trying to guess his mood. The body of a small doe rested before his paws. Somehow he'd brought it all the way back here without me once hearing a twig snap or a leaf rustle.

The massive wolf gracefully stepped over his prey, never once making a sound. How a wolf that large could be so silent was a mystery. But as he prowled toward me, I had the distinct impression that I was the prey now.

Had he noticed the rune after all? Did he realize I was part witch — his enemy?

"Rowan…" I said, putting a placating hand out in front of me.

Everything in me urged me to freeze… or flee. My wolf wanted the chase, badly. But Rowan wasn't like other shifters. Could I trust him to be in control of his beast nature when he caught up to me? Or would the run only excite his wolf and leave him more feral?

I couldn't chance it. Somehow, I had to salvage this situation.

"Thank you for bringing back the deer for us. Will you help me dress it and put it over the fire? I'm not sure the spit we've been using is strong enough to hold it."

The wolf stared at me for another moment before he shed his fur and stood before me on two legs. Despite being naked in his dark-haired human form, Rowan looked just as feral. Especially when his golden eyes raked my body.

"You asked how I got my burns. But I never asked where your scars came from."

"What…" That wasn't what I'd expected him to say. Maybe he hadn't seen the rune after all. "Ironwood gave them to me."

Rowan stalked toward me, and I shivered, again struck by the prey response to a predator. I chose to freeze again instead of flee. Holding my ground, I watched as Rowan's hand extended toward me, tracing the scars over my abdomen.

We were both naked, and my heat roared to life at his touch, as though he'd ignited the flames within me. I stood still, refusing to break this magical moment as his fingers traced my scars.

Without losing contact with me, he circled around me, following one scar that had wrapped around my body when some bullies had thrown me against a barbed wire fence. I'd forgotten all about that day until Rowan's touch reminded me. I never wanted to feel that weak again, so I pushed the memory away, sinking instead into the helplessly delicious feeling that his touch, his presence, evoked in that moment.

When he circled behind me, his breath on the back of my neck made me shiver. Rowan completely took me by surprise when he gently kissed my bare shoulder, opposite to where my wet hair remained draped.

He moved over to my other shoulder, and I held my breath as he pushed my hair closer to my neck, leaving space for him to plant another kiss on that side. With him behind me, I couldn't see his expression, which made me feel even more vulnerable.

It felt like a spell had fallen over him, but if he moved my hair aside, that spell would break. He would see the witch mark, that I'd been hiding it, and he would know. My body tensed, and I remained frozen in place, despite longing for him to keep going.

A low rumble tore from him as his muscular arm wrapped around my waist, pulling me against his chest. His wide fingers splayed just under my breast, and I couldn't help it… a moan escaped me when I felt his thick erection pressing into my buttocks. It made me shiver.

"Are you afraid of me?"

I pulled away so I could turn and face him, to let him see the truth in my eyes. But the steely cables of his forearm held me against his solid chest, keeping me pinned against his rock-hard arousal. His big hand tightened around my ribcage.

"No," I answered truthfully.

Though he made me nervous because I couldn't predict what he might do, my wolf hadn't once whimpered or trembled in fear. Maybe in excitement, but not fear. She danced inside of me, happy her mate had come so close at last.

But still he didn't let me go. He also said nothing.

"My wolf knows yours is no threat to her," I pointed out, hoping to appease him.

His arm squeezed tighter, his biceps bunching.

"What about the rest of me? How can you be sure I'm no threat?"

This time, instead of trying to pull away, I twisted in his arms. His hold only relaxed slightly as I pressed tight against his hard chest, my hair pinned between us. I tilted my chin up as I stared into his golden eyes, willing him to trust me despite my secret.

"My inner wolf would know, even though she can't come out," I answered in a low, raspy voice I hardly recognized.

My breasts brushed against his bare skin, and his cock rested against my stomach, drawing out my longing for him. A rush of arousal caused me to tightly squeeze my thighs together.

Didn't he sense what being close to him did to me? He tilted his head in puzzlement, just like a wolf. A smile stole across my face at that mental image. Even as a man, his wolf remained in control.

"Besides, we're packmates," I went on. "We protect and care for each other."

I wrapped my arms around his waist, pulling him tighter against me, pinning his hardness between us. My wetness slicked down my thighs as I imagined him sliding into me beside the crackling fire. I imagined it dancing in those golden irises as he fucked me hard, like an animal.

His nostrils flared. He had to smell my arousal, had to know I was every bit as interested in him as he was in me. I'd decided earlier to prove to him that we were meant to be mates — I just needed to tame his fears.

"But we aren't just packmates, are we, Rowan? Our wolves both know it. We're mates."

As the word fell from my lips, his hard length throbbed against me, responding to the truth. I realized that it wasn't just my heat that was turning him on — he'd wanted me from the start, just as I had wanted him before I'd even known him.

The way he stared into my eyes and paused, as though afraid of what might come next, told me I'd gotten it all backwards. He wasn't the predator, and I wasn't the prey. I was the one in power here, like a goddess among wolves.

Since he made the first move, I pushed aside all my doubts and fears. Rising on my tiptoes, I studied his expression before I leaned in. I didn't know him well enough to read him, but he didn't push me away or back off. No, his arms tightened around me, and my wolf took that as evidence. I followed her instincts and leaned in to kiss my fourth mate.

His lips were soft against mine, and for a moment, I feared he wouldn't kiss me back. Then his arms crushed me against him, and one snaked up my back to possessively cup the nape of my neck. His lips moved against mine like he'd meant to do this all along.

His stubble against my face only made me want to deepen the kiss even more. As though he instinctively sensed my desires, Rowan's mouth opened and his tongue met mine as he licked into my mouth. Our kiss became more passionate, more feral, more primal.

A guttural sound tore from his throat and rumbled in his chest, vibrating against me. His animalistic nature was something I found irresistible.

And in the back of my mind, the pack bond lit up with joy — pure, unconditional joy. Along with… was that relief? I didn't stop to try to understand Gage's reaction; I was just thankful to know he'd wanted this for me, too. All was right with the world, and when we reunited…

My newest mate tore all thoughts of any other mates from my mind as he groaned with need. Rowan's hips moved, sliding him against my body and painting me with the first beads of precum. He wanted me just as much as I wanted him.

Yet he pulled back, his lips sliding from mine, leaving me panting. I looked up at him in confusion.

His head tilted again, his gaze distant, and his arms relaxed around me, falling to my hips.

"Our packmates are coming," he murmured, as though he hadn't meant to speak the words out loud.

I closed my eyes as my pulse raced, feeling for the pack bond inside of me. He was right. If I concentrated, I could feel them in the distance, coming closer every moment.

I couldn't wait to be reunited with the rest of the pack. And part of me couldn't help but imagine what would happen if they arrived to find me in Rowan's arms. Would they join in?

But Rowan stepped back, his eyes refocusing, his erection already fading. I sighed in disappointment. Then it occurred to me that they could put Rowan's fears about tearing apart the pack to rest. They were arriving just in time.

Rowan traced the scar on my cheek, the one Nira had left behind. Then he traced the same spot on my other cheek, where Luka's claw had cut me.

"One day," he promised, his voice low and rumbly, "I will return to Ironwood."

He didn't say anything more. He didn't promise to destroy my enemies, but I knew he would. Every single one of my scars would be avenged. Anyone who hurt his pack would die. I saw the certainty of it in his golden eyes, the look of pure, primal hunger.

"The witches who killed your wolf family…" I whispered, staring into his eyes. "I hope you killed every last one of them."

A fierce grin stole across his face. I found I rather liked the look.

"Every. Single. One. And I will do the same to those who hurt you, Freya."

I shivered at the sound of my name on his tongue. As much as I wanted to attack him with more kisses, I also stepped back, shrugging back into Rowan's thin button-up shirt. I hoped Heath and Flint were bringing clothing with them. If not, I might end up stealing someone's pants. And I'd never take shoes for granted ever again.

"Well," I said, "let's keep our strength up and get some roasted venison ready to share with our packmates."

The approval in Rowan's eyes felt like a gift. And so did the time we spent, side by side, preparing for our packmates' arrival.