78. Darcy

We're all remarkably well behaved this evening. The pregnant ladies aren't drinking, obviously, and Nat and I are nursing our cocktails carefully, given neither of us can show up for work shitfaced. I'm in danger of making this evening all about me, but I have another question for the girls.

‘Can I tell you something I'm thinking about and you tell me if I'm crazy?'

‘Of course,' Nat says. ‘What's up?'

‘The difference between my and the boys' schedules is driving me crazy. They work all day, I dance all evening. I never get to see them. And I'm starting to get a bit icky about the naked dancing stuff.'

Maddy frowns. ‘Are they making you feel bad about it?'

‘God, no. Not in the slightest. They're really supportive. But I don't like it as much as when I was single. And also…' I trail off.

‘What is it, hon?' Belle asks gently.

I sigh. ‘I'm proud of my talents, but honestly, where do I go from here? Dancing's my passion, but dancing in a club is hardly the stuff stellar careers are made of, is it?'

‘Oh, I see what's happening,' Maddy says. ‘You're dating two seriously ambitious guys, and you're feeling inadequate. That's it, isn't it?'

I consider. ‘Not inadequate, because I'm not sure there's room in that relationship for three workaholics and I think my carefree vibe is good for them, but thoughtful, maybe. The dancing gig is great, and I've been sponging off my sister with a nice rent-free pad.

‘But if Dex gets himself sorted out and we want to make this relationship work, then maybe it's time I start thinking a bit more about the future, you know? Like what I want to do longer term.'

‘What are you thinking?' Belle asks.

‘Well, I've always wanted to open a dance studio, especially one for kids. I love teaching them—remember how much fun I had with Zach's girls at the wedding?'

‘You were amazing with them!' Maddy says. ‘They're still doing that TikTok dance you taught them.'

I laugh. ‘That makes me so happy. So yeah, that's what I'm thinking about at the moment. I ran it past the guys, and they both said they'd invest and help me get it off the ground, which is so generous. I'm not sure how I feel about it, but I'll see how things go between us.'

‘Of course they'll invest,' Belle says. ‘It'd be a shrewd business decision on their part. Don't feel like it's a favour.'

‘I think it sounds amazing,' Nat chimes in. ‘For what it's worth, running your own business, especially when it involves real-life stuff like staff and physical space, is a lot. The stuff that goes wrong—you can't make it up. I don't want to put you off, because I think it's a really cool idea, but if you have two men who love you and believe in you and want to be there to support you? Then honestly, don't think twice. Say yes. Because it'll make the world of difference.'

There's something in her voice that gives me pause. It's not bitter, but it's guarded. ‘Do you have a business partner?' I ask. ‘Or do you do it all yourself?'

She gives a self-deprecating laugh. ‘I do it all myself. And it's ridiculous, and stressful, and lonely as hell.'

‘You poor thing, babes,' Maddy says. ‘Let me get this straight. You run your own fashion brand by yourself all day and then work in Alchemy at night?'

‘I don't do it all myself,' Nat says. ‘I have a team—they're amazing. But they're all seamstresses and pattern cutters. And we outsource some of the really labour-intensive stuff to specialist houses like Lésage and Lemarié.' At our blank looks, she clarifies, ‘They're two of Chanel's specialist ateliers. Lemarié does feathers. They're fabulous.'

‘It sounds dreamy,' Belle says.

Nat laughs again. ‘Dreamy… yeah, sure. But also backbreaking work and stresses and logistics. I promise you, you can't make the shit that happens up. And the clients are… well, they're practically couture clients, so you can imagine how exacting they are.'

‘How the hell do you do it all?' Maddy wants to know.

‘Not much sleep. I try to stay very organised. And I don't even have one boyfriend, let alone two, so that helps free up my time.' She gives me a kind smile.

‘There's so much more you can achieve when you're not getting dicked down by two guys every night,' Maddy muses, and I flick some of my cocktail at her.

‘Fuck off.'

‘Ooh, touchy.'

‘So you run it all alone?' Belle asks, wide-eyed. ‘That makes me feel tired. I think you're amazing. You must have to be so resilient.'

‘Yeah, well I had a tough time as a kid,' Nat says, ‘and I think it's given me some perspective. At the end of the day, we're not saving lives. I'll do my absolute best, but I'm in the fashion industry. It's not life and death, and I have to remember that.'

‘Are we allowed to ask why you had a tough childhood?' Maddy asks. Belle elbows her hard. ‘Ouch!'

‘We invited her out for some nice drinks,' Belle says, glaring at her, ‘and she's already told us how short on time she is. So don't you think it would be nice if she could enjoy her cocktail without being interrogated?'

‘It's okay,' Nat says shyly. ‘I don't mind. And it wasn't that bad—I have an amazing family. We just went through some hard stuff, I suppose. My dad's company went bust when I was ten, and things were pretty awful. We lost our home and had to move into a council house, and I swear my mum cried for the first year.

‘My brother and I got pulled out of our fancy schools and put in this really rough high school, and he got badly bullied for years. Like, really, really badly.'

‘How badly?' Maddy asks, screwing up her face like she's scared to hear the answer.

Nat swallows, and we all stare at her. She's so lovely. So refined and impressive and hardworking. I bitch about my parents a lot, but God, my childhood was bliss compared to this shit.

‘It was a gang,' she says. ‘They really had it in for him—like I said, he's a DD nerd. Really emo, and the sweetest guy on the planet. But they used to beat him up, and one day the gang leader attacked him with a broken bottle.'

She pauses, and we all stare at her in horror.

‘Was he okay?' Belle asks in a tiny voice.

‘He lost an eye,' Nat says, and we all gasp in unison. ‘It was—it was so, so horrific. So now he has this glass eye, and he didn't finish his A-levels for years, because he was too traumatised to go back to school.'

‘Oh my God,' I say, my hand clamped over my mouth. ‘That is horrific. I'm so, so sorry. Please tell me they expelled the guy who did it.'

She laughs, and this time it's definitely bitter. ‘Yeah. He got a couple of years in juvie, too. But you want to know the funny thing? He turned himself around, and I kid you not, the guy is a real, live billionaire. It was Adam Wright.'

Belle leans forward. ‘Hang on a sec. Adam Wright as in the Adam Wright?'

Nat grimaces and nods. There's a stunned silence at the table, because Adam Wright is a household name, and he is hot. Like, mafia-book-boyfriend hot. And he definitely looks like a billionaire, not some cowardly thug who's done time behind bars.

She sighs. ‘I know what you're thinking. You can say it.'

Maddy, obviously, is the first to voice what we're all thinking. ‘But he's gorgeous. He's Max-level eligible and impressive.'

‘Gorgeous people can have rotten cores too, Mads,' Nat says teasingly, but she's right, of course. ‘It's not even a secret. He talks about it all the time in interviews. I swear he's made it part of his personal brand, like having this redemption arc will give him more authenticity.'

She slams her glass down on the table, and we all jump. ‘And I'm sick of it. I'm so fucking sick of it. Because the untold part of his little road to Damascus story is that he ruined the lives of a whole family by being the disgusting, violent little shit that he was.'

Jesus Christ. I've never seen mild-mannered Nat so riled, but I can't blame her.

She inhales, her lips pressed in a firm line, and then takes a huge slug of her champagne. ‘Anyway. Let's just say I hope our paths never cross, because I will bottle that man so hard he'll bleed out on the floor. He's a total fucking psycho. Leopards don't change their spots, you mark my words.'