39. Logan

CHAPTER 39

LOGAN

I sit on the hard hospital bed, my bruised torso aching as I reach for my T-shirt. The doctor just gave me the all-clear, stating that there’s nothing that a few painkillers, a Band-Aid, and some bed rest can’t treat, but the pain still lingers. It’s exhaustion, anxiety, fear for Sasha’s life. All rolled into one bundle of something profoundly sharp that I can’t seem to shake off. The worst is behind us, Sasha’s out of surgery, stable. The only loose end is his older brother’s final decision about us. About our future.

Across the room, Vlad leans against the wall, his bloody white shirt a grim reminder of the bloodshed we narrowly escaped. His hands are buried in his pants pockets, his expression an unreadable veil of seriousness.

I break the heavy silence. "I guess we are about to have the conversation you promised me."

Vlad nods slowly, pushing off the wall and taking a single step forward. "You are correct."

I take a breath, steeling myself. "I guess you're going to ask me what my intentions are when it comes to Sasha."

A flicker of something—amusement, perhaps—crosses Vlad's face. "You are very perceptive, McKenna. So, what are your intentions?"

I hesitate, the words caught in my lungs along with the air. Fear coils in my gut. Vlad holds my fate, and Sasha's, in his hands. One wrong move, one misstep, and it could all come crashing down.

But beneath the terror, a sense of relief appears. Sasha's safe. He's alive. And that's all that matters. If I can’t be there for him, I’ll take it. As long as he's alright.

"I care about him," I say simply, my voice steady despite the tremor in my pulse. "I'll keep protecting him...if you allow me."

Vlad’s brow pinches upward. He tilts his head ever so slightly.

I take it as a good sign. I’d say any reaction of Vlad Solovey not threatening you with bodily injury or putting a gun to your head is a good sign. That’s why I joke, "I won't even charge you for it. Please accept my resignation. Since with you being my employer and all, it seems inappropriate to be dating your brother."

The words are a confession and a plea, all in one. My heart pounds hard, my pulse a rapid beat in my ears. I've laid my cards on the table, risked everything for a chance at something real with Sasha. I’m ready to be punished for it if that’s Vlad’s plan. It's up to him to decide my fate.

His face remains impassive, his eyes boring into mine with an intensity that makes my skin crawl. It’s definitely a Solovey thing. Sasha’s gaze can be just intimidating. He just hasn't learned to use it in the way his older brother does.

The seconds stretch as Vlad continues to stare at me, as if he's trying to peel back the last layers of my soul and expose the truth beneath. I can feel the sweat beading on my forehead, the clammy coldness of my palms as I clench my fists at my sides. It never happens when I’m on the job, or when I was on the force. My mind is always clear, calculating. But when it comes to Sasha, my brain is all screwed up.

Finally, Vlad speaks. "Fine. You can keep seeing my brother." Instant relief floods through me, but it's short-lived. "But if you lie to me again," Vlad adds matter-of-factly, "I will kill you."

The sentence is spoken with a chilling calmness, a promise rather than a threat. In this instant, I have no doubt that Vlad means every word.

My mouth is suddenly dry as sandpaper.

But I know I have to face the consequences of my actions. I tip my chin slowly, meeting his gaze head-on. "It's fair," I say. "It wasn't my best moment, to do this to you, to deceive you."

Vlad's expression softens slightly, a flicker of understanding in his eyes. "I get it. You lost your mother. Loss like that, it messes with your head, clouds your thinking." He pauses, his jaw clenching. "I forgive your poor judgment this once, but only because Sasha pleaded for you."

A chance at redemption. That’s what it feels like, and the knot in my chest loosens a bit. "Thank you," I manage, my voice thick with emotion. "I won't let you down."

Vlad nods curtly, turning to leave the room. "Sasha has asked for you," he says over his shoulder. "You should go check on him. He is just next door. "

I hesitate as I slide from the hospital bed, a question burning on the tip of my tongue. "Any news on Shtyk?"

Vlad shakes his head, his expression darkening. "The bastard is in the wind."

"What are you going to do?"

He sighs heavily, running a hand through his hair. "I will probably have to ask the Arellanos for help tracking that pig down and eliminating Toro's men involved in this."

I’m surprised. "I thought you didn't want to owe the cartel a favor."

"I changed my mind," Vlad says simply. "I want peace of mind when it comes to Sasha's safety. With the Arellanos' protection, he can at least have some semblance of normalcy in his life. Toro will not be messing with my family, even on Shtyk’s orders, as long as the Arellanos are in the picture."

Vlad pulls the door open, halting on the threshold. "Take Sasha on a trip when he is better, somewhere far. Maybe Seattle or even Canada."

"Is he still in danger?"

"No, but he needs a vacation. A change of scenery."

"I understand."

"Good."

"Hey," I call.

Vlad glances at me over his shoulder.

"You should get Sasha a piano for his next birthday," I say.

Vlad's brows furrow. "I did not know he played… Thank you for telling me."

"He's very good."

Vlad chuckles, shaking his head as he steps out of the room. "Well, I guess you really do know how to push all the right keys with my brother."

The door clicks shut behind him, and I'm left alone with my thoughts, my heart racing with the promise of a future with Sasha. The rest doesn’t matter. Vlad will take care of it and I will take care of Sasha.

Later on, I’m sitting in a chair beside Sasha's hospital bed, his pale hand grasped gently between my own. The steady beep of the monitor fills the room as I watch the slow rise and fall of his chest. He’s looking at me with those green, cunning Solovey eyes as if he knows all the secrets in the world. A mottled bruise peeks out from beneath the collar of his hospital gown. His neatly bandaged shoulder is a reminder of the violence and his reckless choice that brought us here.

"That was a stupid thing you did," I murmur, my thumb tracing circles on the back of his hand. "Taking a bullet for me."

A weak smile plays at the corners of his lips. "Didn't think doing your job would be so painful," he rasps out, his voice rough, but I know he’s joking.

A choked laugh escapes me, teetering on the edge of a sob. "Don't ever do that again, you hear me?" My request is fierce, desperate. "I can't lose you, Sasha. Not now, not ever."

As I keep looking into his eyes, I feel something shift within me, like the last piece of a puzzle falling into place. The walls I've unknowingly built around my heart, the barriers erected by years of loss and betrayal, begin to crumble.

Sasha's fingers tighten around mine, anchoring me to the present, almost as if he can read my mind.

"Did he threaten you? For not telling him about us?" Sasha asks. There is a slight tremor in his voice.

"A little bit, but we have nothing to worry about. I’ll just have to take care of you now."

"For real?"

"For real. You know your brother can be very intimidating but we've come to an understanding. I've officially resigned from my position, and I asked for his permission to date you. He agreed. Deep down he’s a softie."

"I wish he showed me that side more often. Or at all."

"Sometimes, we gotta do what we gotta do and if that involves turning off our emotions, then it needs to be done."

"Were you turning off your emotions with me when you first started?"

"Big time. I was in denial for a hot minute there."

Sasha laughs quietly. "Got you, Muscle."

"I’ll never get rid of this nickname, will I?"

He smirks. "Probably not. But I like it." His voice drops to a low seductive whisper and I’m starting to wonder if it’s the painkillers talking and not my boy. "Like having my own personal beautiful bodyguard."

My turn to laugh a little as I shake my head. My chest feels warm and full and there’s a clear purpose to my life, I realize. There hasn’t been one for a long time. I think it started when my father died and completely ruined me when I chose to protect Curtis. But now, it doesn’t matter that I’m not able to return on the force, doesn’t matter that my father is gone and his killer is alive, behind bars. The grudges have disappeared. Instead, Sasha placed himself into each and every corner of my life, making it his, making it worth living.

"Logan?" he asks after a long stretch of silence. "Did Vlad... did he catch Shtyk?"

I shake my head, my jaw clenching at the mention of the bastard's name. "Not yet, but it's not our worry. Vlad has people searching for him. He’s in hiding, and he won't bother you again."

I don't mention the Arellanos, the favor Vlad intends to ask of the cartel. Sasha doesn't need to know the depths his brother will go to ensure Sasha’s safety. It's better this way, to shield him from the darkness that lurks at the edges of that world. To give him some peace. After years of trying so hard to be who he isn’t, he deserves it.

A small smile pinches the corners of Sasha's lips, a flicker of hope dancing in his green eyes. "So, it's really over? We don't have to hide anymore?"

I nod, my heart swelling with the realization that the weight of secrecy has been lifted from our shoulders. "Once you're better and fit to travel, I thought we could go on a trip for a while. Just the two of us, exploring together."

Sasha's eyes widen with excitement. "Really? Where should we go? Paris? Tokyo? Oh, I've always wanted to see the Northern Lights in Iceland!"

I chuckle at his enthusiasm, my own sense of adventure awakening. "How about we start in Cali, then work our way up north? We could make it a road trip, rent a camper, and take our time. Stop at all the cheesy tourist traps along the way. I hear there's a diner off I-5 famous for its pea soup."

"Oh, I bloody love it! We could go to the Hollywood Walk of Fame, take a picture with your favorite actor's star. And definitely stop by the pea soup place."

"And I could finally learn how to surf. May take some lessons while we’re in Santa Cruz."

"I can’t imagine you on a surfboard."

"Why the hell not?"

"You don’t seem like the type."

"Oh you mean, my hair’s not long enough."

"I would give a lot of money to see you growing your hair."

"Well, we don’t know what the future holds. Had to look presentable for the job, but now," I lean in to be closer to Sasha, "keeping you happy is my only job. So, if growing my hair will make you happy, then be it."

"Deal. But only if you promise to take me to see those famous Redwoods you have here. Always wanted to see those giants in person."

I bring Sasha's hand to my lips, pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. "Anywhere you want to go, mylash . We've got all the time in the world."

Sasha sighs, a wistful expression crossing his face. "It'll probably be a couple of weeks until I'm good and ready for a big trip like that, but..." He bites his lower lip, a hint of vulnerability in his eyes. "I want to hold your hand in public before then, Logan. I want people to know we're together."

"We could do something local before we travel, if you'd like."

A flicker of excitement resumes its dance in those green eyes. "What do you have in mind?"

I gently caress his cheek with my fingers, savoring the warmth of his skin against my palm. "How would you feel about attending a thing as my plus one?"

He nods eagerly. "What kind of thing?"

"A thing that’ll give me an opportunity to show off my awesome boyfriend in front of Curtis."

"Anything to stick it to that Curtis bloke."

"Good."

Our noses brush while our breaths mingle in the scant space between us. The air heats up and the hospital surroundings fall away. "You know I love you, my sweet boy, right?" I murmur, my voice rough with emotion.

Sasha's hand comes up to cup my jaw, his thumb stroking the stubble there. "I'm pretty sure I love you too, Logan."

As our lips meet in a tender kiss, sealing our declarations, I feel a sense of completeness wash over me. The path that led us here may have been fraught with danger and heartache, but in this moment, with Sasha beside me, I know that every step was worth it.