Chapter 3

3

Later that evening, seated at an upscale sushi restaurant in Hollywood, with Kris across the table and the remnants of a small sushi feast spread out in front of them, Cath realized that she was, without a doubt, the happiest she had been in a very long time. She was fully down the rabbit hole in terms of being out of her element, and at times there was still a solid core of anxiety in the pit of her stomach that she doubted would go away any time soon but just looking at Kris across the table was enough to bring a smile to her lips that seemed to have a life of its own.

The drive down from base had been slow and leisurely, and Kris had acted as GPS of sorts, guiding her as she drove through some of LA’s best decorated neighborhoods. There she had finally seen something akin to what she had grown up with in terms of holiday zeal and over the top décor. Everything had been awash in shades of green, blue, and white. The houses had been light to twinkling and with enough voltage you could probably have seen half the Christmas lights clearly from space.

Now, well into enjoying their meal together, Cath glanced out from under her lashes, using the excuse of casually checking her phone for work emails, as she watched Kris lean back in his chair. The dark green dress shirt he had thrown on pulled taut over the toned frame of his chest. Despite the fact they lingered getting dressed, lounging on the bed and just generally goofing off with each other until they decided to get ready and go, Cath could feel the same level of desire for him flooding through her. She ducked her head, pretending to be scrolling through a document on her phone, and for once, let herself just enjoy the moment.

A chuckle from across the table caused her to look up into Kris’s smiling blue eyes. He reached over, intertwining his fingers with hers and bringing them to his lips in a feather light kiss.

“Care to share what’s so funny?” Cath traced circles on the back of his hand idly while waiting for him to answer her.

“Nothing really, you just keep smiling at me, it’s making my night.” He gave her a high watt grin, like a kid finding exactly what he wanted under the tree on Christmas morning.

Before Cath could respond with anything more than a heartfelt squeeze of his hand, their waitress appeared at the table to refill their water glasses and take their dessert orders. She gave Kris an appraising glance and a flirty smile, ignoring Cath pointedly before disappearing back towards the kitchen.

“Wow.” Cath shook her head with a small snort of laughter at Kris’s bemused expression of apology. “I guess we know who she’d like under the tree on Christmas morning.”

“I do look good wrapped in a big red bow and nothing else,” Kris joked. “And I really wish I was making that up, but I think there may be photos somewhere from a Christmas party years ago to prove it.”

“I have no doubt about it.” Cath chuckled and reached out to tweak the dog tags laying on top of his shirt. “But honestly I’d just as soon see you in these and these alone.”

“Anytime, anywhere.” He wiggled his eyebrows. “We could skip getting the tree and just go back home, I’ll gladly model them for you.”

“Fat chance.” Cath informed him, giving him a bemused glance of her own over her wine glass. “But this actually brings up a good point. We haven’t really talked about holiday plans yet. What have you got on deck, family plans? Fancy Hollywood Christmas parties? Charity events?”

“There have been a few invitations.” He toyed with his napkin and gestured to the sling. “But I haven’t really felt up to doing anything, not this year. I’ve been turning things down.”

Cath couldn’t stop her eyes from widening. Kris was a social butterfly; in the almost five months they had been dating, she only just begun to understand how many events he put in appearances at. The reason didn’t matter to him, he genuinely enjoyed the glitz and glamor of a good Hollywood party. While turning things down social engagements while he was recovering was practical, it was also concerning. She suspected he had just enough ego that he didn’t want his Hollywood crowd to see him at anything less than his absolute best shape. She could also hear the defeated tone returning to his voice, a sign of the frustration he was feeling at not being able to do the things he enjoyed doing normally.

“What about your family?” Cath took a sip of her wine, trying not to let the worry creep into her voice.

“My mother is in New Orleans with my aunt this year and my Christmas gift to Sandrine and my sister-in-law is a Mediterranean cruise.” Kris poked listlessly at his sashimi with a chopstick and spoke dismissively. “It’s not that big of a deal, Christmas was never really important in my family. What about you?”

“Are you kidding me? Do I have to remind you where I come from again? We have traditions for our traditions in Texas. Christmas was huge when I was growing up.” Cath sighed. “The key word was though, not so much anymore.”

“Why not?” Kris cocked his head, giving her an appraising glance of his own at the slightly downcast tone of her voice.

“The last few years it’s just been Danny and I, a case of beer and whatever car or motorcycle we were trying to stick back together. Maybe pizza and The Terminator movies.” Cath shrugged. “This year he’s going to meet Vera’s folks in Chicago. They won’t be back until after New Year’s Eve.”

“What about your mother?” She noticed he approached the topic carefully, knowing how she felt about talking about her family. His eyes were kind, and she reached out to grasp his hand again and took her time answering.

“We are...not close in a conventional sense.” She chose her words carefully. “I talk to her maybe two or three times a month, but she spends every Christmas in Puerto Vallarta with friends.”

“There’s a story there,” Kris surmised. “I’m willing to listen if you want to talk about it, you know that.”

“It’s not that dramatic, we’re not estranged, there was no big fight or disagreement.” Cath assured him. “She just…keeps me at arm's length. I think it’s to protect herself to be honest. She lost her husband and then her son to the military, then her only surviving child ditched a possible safe career in science to join up and serve as well. I don’t think she could handle it if something happened to me, so she just chooses to stay on the outskirts of my life. I’ve learned to accept it.”

“That’s bullshit.” Kris made a face in disbelief and to her surprise there was a current of anger in his voice. “You’re supposed to support what your kid decides to do with their life. If I had a daughter who was as strong and smart as you are, I’d be so proud of her, they’d have to tie me down. I’d be singing it from the rooftops.”

“I would too.” Cath admitted. “But everyone has their limits. I’ve learned to respect hers.”

“You’re kinder than me.” Kris frowned, such a rarity for him that Cath realized she could count on her hands the number of times she had actually seen him do it before. “My dad was a mean asshole, and even worse when he drank.”

“Is that why Christmas wasn’t that important?” Cath felt a pang of sadness he had grown up like that. As fractured as her family was, she had good memories of what time she had spent with her parents and brother.

“Largely. I mean, my mom tried her best to make it normal, but he hated when the attention wasn’t centered around him, and Christmas was just an excuse to drink more and ruin things.” He shrugged a shoulder, and she could see he was trying to seem indifferent, as if it didn’t matter how hurt he felt in the past. “I’ll be honest when I say I don’t have a lot of great holiday memories until I could make them myself. In the past I’ve pretty much just used Christmas as an excuse to go away somewhere expensive for vacation and party until it was over.”

“And now?” She was suddenly nervous about what he was going to say, realizing that she wanted to spend her Christmas with him, to make it a holiday he could look back on and say he enjoyed because they were together for it.

“Now, I don’t care what I do for the holidays as long as I’m doing it with you.” He looked away, and although it seemed impossible for a man who often ran on ego and caffeine, he actually sounded nervous. Cath suddenly had a moment of clarity. She wasn’t the only one who hated feeling vulnerable and exposed.

“Well, it’s a damn good thing I want to spend Christmas with you.” It was the truth. Thinking back to her earlier thoughts about how her army issue house was suddenly feeling like a home, she realized it was very possible that for the first time in a long time she could have a Christmas at home with someone she loved. It gave her a giddy feeling, like she downed far too many of the coffee flavored pre-workout drinks Kris was now stowing on the door of her fridge. “So, what do you say to us spending our first Christmas together, just the two of us, making some traditions that we like for us?”

“I say that sounds like a movie of the week plot,” Kris cleared his throat, and she could hear the relief in his voice. It gave her heart pause, sometimes with all they had been through it was far too easy to forget they weren’t made of stone. “And I am totally in.”

Getting up, not caring if anyone saw them or if it would end up on a tabloid the next morning, she walked purposefully around the table, cupped his cheek softly with one hand and kissed him. Immediately he reached up, threading his fingers into her hair and kissing her back until her head was spinning and her heart was hammering in her chest.

A soft noise caused them to separate, and they both turned to see the waitress standing awkwardly off to the side of their table with an unimpressed smirk on her face, holding the two portions of chocolate mousse they ordered for dessert. Cath responded by giving her the “fuck you” death glare she normally reserved for recruits pissing her off and in short order the women was scurrying back to the hostess station as if her Louboutins were on fire.

“You really should learn to market that; you’d make a fortune.” Kris gave an impressed snicker and swirled the spoon in his dessert.

“Ah, but then it would be less impressive,” Cath pointed out then dropped her voice to a low whisper, gesturing with her spoon casually. “Plus, how else am I going to let other women know you’re mine?”

“Possessive, I like it.” Kris grinned. “I cannot wait to get you on the red carpet, heads are going to roll. It’s going to be glorious.”

“For you,” Cath winced but she was also laughing at the gleeful look on his face. “For me it’s going to be like walking on glass, however I’ll gladly do it like a good little soldier.”

“Anything coming up you want me on your arm for? When’s the military ball again?” His tone was jovial, and she got the impression that the idea of them going out together while he was recovering was easier to handle than the thought of tackling events alone if she was unavailable.

“It’s not until the end of January.” Cath idly trailed her spoon through the chocolate mousse. “But there’s something tomorrow you can help me with, a covert mission of sorts.”

“Bring it on!” From the look on his face, she could tell it was exactly what he needed to feel better, something to make him feel a bit more useful and back in the game. She just hoped what she had in mind would work out and not fall flat. “Give me the details.”

Cath leaned across the table and began to fill him in on what she had in mind. It was definitely out of his element, but as she tried to sell him on the idea it could be a fun way to kick off their holidays together, she could see him getting more excited than he had been in weeks, and that alone, made it double worth the while.