Twenty-nine

Twenty-nine

DESI

"I told you it was going to be cold by the bay," Jace says as he turns to me and slides the ticket for the ferry into the front pocket of my jeans. I can't take it because my hands are currently shoved into the sleeves of my jacket.

"I know, but the wind is frigid!" I say through chattering teeth as he wraps his arm around me and leads me into the throng of tourists boarding the boat that will take us to the Statue of Liberty. It's the first stop on our tour of slightly clichéd but necessary attractions in New York City. Of all the things on the list, this is the one I'm the most excited to see.

We step onto the ferry and instead of heading to one of the benches under the protective awning, Jace and I keep walking until we reach the far end of the boat. I place my hands on the railing, and he cages me in with his arms on either side of me. I savor the warmth radiating from his body, letting every muscled inch of him chase away the chill.

It's sunny today, and the rays reflecting off the water of New York Bay create a sparkling effect, making it look much warmer than it is. But the statue sitting in the distance is worth the cold air, and so is the man behind me.

"This is beautiful," I murmur, my eyes scanning the horizon, the midmorning wind whipping my hair across my face.

Jace doesn't answer right away, and I glance up to find him studying my face. "What? Why are you looking at me like that?" I ask.

"I've seen the statue before, but I've never seen you so captivated with something. You're breathtaking."

I turn all the way around to face him and brush my windblown hair from my eyes, but it's stubborn and keeps flying back across my face. "You say the nicest things to me, you know that?" I giggle, and when he cocks his head to the side, I say, "I was just thinking about how we used to be such assholes to each other all the time."

His arms slip around my waist, pulling me close. "I think you kind of like my asshole side. It can always make an appearance again if you want."

I raise my brows and press myself flush against him. "Actually, I think it's sexy when you're all dominant and tough. What about you? Did you like my bitchy side, Wilder?"

"Yes, but I enjoy all of your sides." He tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. "Particularly your sweet and sexually needy ones."

From across the bay, the Statue of Liberty looks so small, but standing at its base with my head craned back, I realize how very wrong I was. Even the sculptures of Lucifer and Lilith in Infernis aren't as impressive.

"Wow," I breathe, as we walk toward the pedestal where groups of people are taking photos in front of the statue and pointing and talking in countless different languages. "It's so much bigger than I thought it was going to be!" I look up at Jace only to see him staring down at me again. "What?"

"You levitate things and are going to rule your own Circle, and this is what impresses you?"

I shrug and look back up at the statue. "I've been levitating things since I was old enough to walk, and ruling my own Circle has been expected of me since I was born. This is just cool," I say, bumping his hip with mine. I open my mouth to say something else when my gaze falls on a familiar figure leaning against the flagpole. "Oh no." My voice is little more than a rasp above the wind.

"What? What is it?"

"There's my freaking brother," I say, my heart sinking.

"What?" Jace says again, louder and sharper this time. "Where?"

"Right there," I mutter, guiding us toward him.

"What is he doing here?"

"I have no idea." Avaros meets us in the middle of the walkway as tourists stroll past us. My brother is, as always, dressed to the nines in a blue pinstriped suit and wing-tipped shoes, his red hair somehow managing to stay in place whereas mine is still whipping around my head like a kite. "Avaros. What are you doing here? Is everything okay? Mom and Dad?"

He ignores me and holds out a hand to Jace. "How's it going, man? It's good to see my sister hasn't scared you off yet."

"Far from it," Jace replies as they shake.

I cross my arms. "Hello, Avaros! Over here. I asked you a question."

He gives me a pointed look, like I'm the one being rude when he was the one who ignored me. Brushing a speck of lint from his sleeve, he says, "I need you both to come with me. Father needs to speak with you."

My heart speeds up, and despite the cold, beads of sweat form along my brow. This is disastrous. Jace can't go back with us to Infernis. Not unless . . .

"But Jace can't go!"

Avaros stares at me like I've grown a second head. "He can't go to a pub in Manhattan?"

"Oh. I—yeah, a pub. I thought you meant—never mind, it doesn't matter. Yeah, right now?"

"Yeah, let's head over there. He's probably waiting for us by now."

In the dimly lit pub on Ninth Avenue, a few people in business suits sit around the dark wood bar, sipping their drink of choice. The music is lively but not overbearing and the red-bearded barkeep could be the eighth child in our family. We zigzag through the round tables to a large booth in the back corner. I trip over my own feet when my dad scoots out of the vinyl seat.

No leather. No boots. No ax hanging at his side. My father is dressed in a black tailored suit with a tie.

"Dad," I say as he pulls me into his arms for a hug. "Is everything okay? Avaros was short on details." I shoot my brother a glare as he sits in the spot next to the one my dad vacated.

Dad smiles and puts his palms on my cheeks. "Don't worry, Desideria. Everything will be fine. Just sit so we can talk."

My stomach sinks when I notice that he doesn't say that everything is fine, but Jace doesn't falter as he shakes my father's hand.

"Jace!" Dad exclaims. "Good to see you're still hanging in there with our girl."

"I don't think hanging in there is the right term. It makes it sound like being around Desi is difficult, and that's the last thing being with her is, sir."

Despite the stress of my father calling us to an urgent meeting, I want to melt out of my chair into a sticky puddle on the ground. Even if I spent forever in this realm, I'd never get used to hearing Jace say sweet things.

Instead of melting, I settle for intertwining our fingers under the table and squeezing. "Thank you, Jace," I say before giving my father a pointed look. "See? Not everyone thinks I'm difficult."

"That makes one being in the entire universe," Avaros mumbles.

"I personally enjoy a challenge," Jace says.

Something in my dad's green gaze softens. I've never seen him look at another being like that before. Apparently, Jace is the unknowing thief of many hearts.

"That's good to hear. I have a difficult challenge for the both of you. But I believe you'll be up to the task. I need Desideria to return home sooner than I was planning, which means, if you've chosen to be her eternal partner, you'll need to leave this realm too."

Jace's grip on my hand is like a vice cutting off all circulation. He's got to be lost for words.

But I have words—a lot of them. "What? Dad, what are you talking about? How soon? I'm supposed to have, like, a month left."

My father swallows, and I notice for the first time how pale he is. "I need you to come as soon as possible. Within the next three days."

Jace and I exchange horrified glances. "Three days? Wh—why? What for? I can't leave in three days. I'm supposed to have more time." Panic seizes me and I begin to tremble all over. I was supposed to have another month to spend with Jace. Not three days.

Dad leans over the table and folds his hands on top. His face is gaunt, and his shoulders don't appear as broad as they were before I left Infernis with Jace. Or maybe they were, but I was so caught up in the man beside me that I didn't notice.

Dad clears his throat and says, "Despite popular belief, it wasn't just your mother's and my robust sex life that led us to have seven children. We made a conscious decision to break the tradition of having only one. We never wanted to put the burden of ruling on just one child. There is power in numbers, and that is why the responsibility of Infernis is divided between you and your brothers."

"I know all that, Dad. That still doesn't explain why I need to come home early."

"I thought I could keep fueling the chaos in our realm for a few more weeks. But I was wrong, Desideria. Our realm has grown so much over the past decades, and it's draining me." He lowers his chin and watches his fidgeting fingers. "If you don't come home soon and take your Circle, I'll use the last of my power and our realm will self-detonate, and the freedom of human energies to choose their final destination will end."

I brush a tear away with the back of my hand. "You're dying?"

"For lack of a better word, yes."

"No . . ." I murmur, and Jace slips his arm around my shoulder and tucks me into his side. I lay my head on his shoulder and close my eyes, letting what my father said sink in for a moment as tears slide down my cheeks.

"I'm sorry to have to tell you like this, in a public place, but it was the only way."

I lift my head from Jace's shoulder and say, "Don't apologize, Dad. You have nothing to apologize for. I'm sorry I was a brat." I spring up from my seat, and Avaros, seeing what I intend to do, hops out of the booth and motions for Jace to scoot over. My dad moves down so I can sit next to him, and he wraps me in his arms, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Shhh, Desideria. It's okay."

"No, it's not okay. Is this my fault?" I ask in a small voice, sitting up and looking at him with wide eyes, the horrifying idea dawning on me. "If I had chosen an eternal partner before now, and the seven of us could have taken our places, would it have saved you?"

My dad starts to say something but to my surprise, it's Avaros who speaks up. "Sister, no. It's not your fault. And you know I'd tell you if it was. A hundred years ago, even fifty years ago, most people were choosing Pax as the final resting place for their energy. You know that. There weren't as many energies in Infernis for Dad to manage. No one could have predicted that this would become a lethal problem. Not to mention, Fier and Lux chose their eternal partners not so long ago. It's not like we've all been sitting here waiting for you for millennia. Plus, Mom and Dad had seven kids to make their lives easier one day, not to save Dad's life. They didn't know that would be necessary. Stop blaming yourself."

"See, my darling? You know your brother is a douche bag. If it were your fault, he would've taken the chance to berate you already. Even Jace knows that, and he's only met him once before," Dad says, planting a kiss on my forehead.

I can't help but laugh and look at Jace, who glances at Avaros and nods with a shrug. "Sorry, bro. It's true."

Avaros pinches the bridge of his nose. "You people act like I don't know I'm a dickhead."

We all chuckle and in the silence that follows, my dad adds, "And besides, if you had found a demon before you took a chance and came to the human realm, you never would have found Jace. And that, I think, would have been a far greater tragedy than an old geezer like me choosing to go to the In-Between a little earlier than expected."

My heart squeezes in my chest as I meet Jace's gaze across the table. That notion both crushes me and gives me an immense amount of joy. I should be bringing Jace back with me. Because after this weekend, I know how I feel about him. And it's not just lust. He's not just my best friend. Leaving him here is going to gut me. Losing my father is going to destroy what's left of me.

I should come clean and tell them that what they think Jace feels for me isn't as serious as they believe. That it's not strong enough for him to give up the life he's built in this realm. But I can't now, not when Dad is sick. I'm better off showing up without Jace and telling my family that I had a backup plan. The least I can do is spare them some worry.

I wish it didn't have to be this way, that Jace chose me, but I don't blame him for not doing it. I don't know that I could give up Infernis for just anyone, but I could for him. Or at least I could if my father's life didn't depend on me returning. I suppose I've found my limit as well.

"All right. I'll be home in three days," I say, sliding out of the booth.

My father pulls me into a hug and says, "I'm sorry I couldn't give you the time I promised. Thank you for understanding, Desideria."

After Avaros and my dad retreat to the back of the restaurant where I'm sure there is a portal, Jace and I step out onto the sidewalk, and I turn to him, my eyes filled with tears. "This fucking sucks," I blurt, an unexpected sob rattling my body.

He pulls me into his arms and smooths my hair. "I know. I'm sorry your dad is sick. I know how hard it is to learn that the man you thought was the strongest person in the universe has found his kryptonite."

"Yeah, for sure." A moment of silence goes by.

"You have no idea what kryptonite is, do you?"

"Not a clue."

He chuckles and tightens his arms around me. "That's okay, Desideria." He squeezes me one more time and we pull back just far enough so we can see each other's faces. "What are you thinking?"

"That all I want to do for the next three days is to be in your arms. That's it. Can we do that?"

"I'm all yours. Whatever you need, I'll take care of it. I just want us to make the most of the time we have left together."

I want that too. Even though I know it won't be enough, and it will rip my heart in two when I have to say goodbye. I want to spend the next three days lost in Jace Wilder, willingly handing him my breaking heart one tiny piece at a time.