Chapter 31

POLINA

Rafail finally brings out the vodka. The tea was excellent, but it’s time for something much stronger.

We drink shots and try to ease the tension in the room, but it’s been a long, long day. Hell, it’s been a long, long month. My eyes are heavy and my body exhausted.

Still, I sit with my mother and brothers, a part of my soul basking in the balm of our reunion until Rafail finally stands. “You need rest,” he says, his eyes meeting mine across the room.

I swallow hard, and I’m suddenly very, very awake.

“We all do,” Mikhail says, pushing to his feet. “The irony is we aren’t very far from here.”

He shakes hands with Rafail, and something passes between them in the rough palm-to-palm contact, their eyes locked on one another.

“Come for lunch.” Rafail invites him in what sounds almost more like an invitation than a command, which tells me he’s definitely trying. “My men will have more information in the morning.”

“As will mine,” Mikhail says with a nod. “We have connections in Colombia and will know more about the whereabouts of Soloto.” I think all of us, even Zoya and Rodion and Grandfather, are aware of the tenuous hold these two have on peace.

But I’m the one aware of my position at the crux of it all. I’m the linchpin keeping the two families from an all-out feud.

So I walk over to them and place each of my hands on one of their shoulders. “Very good, gentleman,” I say with a smile. “You’re playing nice. Let’s keep it that way, shall we?”

I know my family would love if I came back with them. If I let them take care of me and we could catch up on all that’s transpired.

But I belong here now. It’s more than a sense of duty or obligation… this is my home. This is my world now as much as it’s his.

Mikhail gives me a begrudging smile, and as he opens his mouth to speak, I continue.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” I look to Rafail. “And Rafail and I have much to discuss.”

I need closure, and so does he. We’ve come to the end of a long battle, dust still rising in the air, our wounded not yet tended to. We have much to attend to.

Mikhail looks at Mom. She smiles sadly and nods, but the line between her brows has softened. I turn to her and squeeze her hand. “Tomorrow,” I remind her gently.

After my family’s gone, Rafail turns to me. “The rest of you get some sleep. Zoya, will you prepare lunch for us?”

“Absolutely,” she says, her eyes shining. “I need to get some groceries.”

“Make a list, and I’ll make sure you have them.” He reaches for me, almost tentatively, as if he’s afraid if he moves too fast, I’ll evaporate. Our fingers meet. It feels like home. I step closer to him as he goes over what he needs Rodion and Semyon to do. “I’m proud of you,” he finishes. “I was proud to have you by my side.”

I smile at both of them. “I was too. Thank you.”

And then, finally… we’re alone. Everyone’s gone, and it’s just the two of us. I stare at the man I thought was my husband, who soon will be.

“Come here.” My heart pounds.

And then I’m gathered in his arms. He holds me to him so tightly I gasp for breath before he bends, swoops me up, and lifts me into the air.

Our faces hover inches from one another. He cups my face with one hand while holding me with the other. Pulling me against him, the first brush of his lips to mine makes heat pound in my veins and my breath come in a gasp. I can feel when his control snaps, and he pours every ounce of anger and frustration, need and desire, fear and wanting into that kiss. I’m so lost in his orbit that I barely know up from down or night from day. I’m fully lost in the power of silent forgiveness.

The weight of our decisions and the promise of tomorrow are held in the kiss that takes my breath away. I taste the salt of my tears mingled with his desperation for oneness. The tension in my body begins to seep out of me bit by bit until I’m boneless and pliant to his sturdy grip.

His fingers on my jaw brand me, his lips both soft and firm. I lay my hand on his and kiss him back.

We’re breathless, panting, and wrecked when we pull away, gasping for air.

“I love you,” he says in a shaky whisper. “And I’m sorry. I swear to god, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you if only you’ll stay.”

I slide my hand on the side of his face, cupping the rough scruff and holding his gaze. The man I once thought invincible has a vulnerable side. “I love you,” I whisper. “And I already forgave you. But you’re more than welcome to spend the rest of your life making it up to me.” I wink at him.

His eyes dance at me, his lips quirk up, and he tosses me over his shoulder like I’m a sack of potatoes. I squeal when his palm slaps my ass affectionately.

Even with me draped over his shoulder like a trophy, he takes the steps two at a time. The door to our room slams shut, the sound of locks being thrown final.

The air is thick with barely resolved tension, the weight of truth, confessions, and revelations rocking our world, but not so much we aren’t still us. He’s desperate to earn forgiveness, while I’m desperate to find solid footing again. I have my family back. I know who I am.

Now I need to know who we are.

He tosses me onto the bed, the air around us charged with raw, desperate need. We’ve been through the wringer, both of us, and our battles are hardly over. I lie on the bed as he towers over me, his eyes like thunder. Heat emanates from him in waves. “I’ll show you how much you mean to me,” he says in a hoarse whisper.

I swallow hard. “You already have.”

He kneels on one knee beside me, bracing himself with his palm on the bed. His gaze travels over me as if he’s only just found me, or he’s afraid I’ll vanish. “I hurt you,” he whispers. “It doesn’t matter that I thought you were someone else. None of that matters now. I heard what you said, and I feel the weight of what I’ve done.”

I swallow hard and lick my lips. My voice is soft but confident when I reply. “Love is messy. Both our families have proven that, haven’t they? But I love you anyway, and for everything that you are. I’ve known from the first time I opened my eyes in your world that you weren’t just any man. You’re fierce and dangerous and flawed. But you love me, you love your family, you’re steadfast, and it’s why… I love you. When you love someone, you forgive them.”

I see the moment when his restraint breaks. His eyes burn like flames as he stabs his fingers in my hair, fisting it as he pulls me closer. Our lips clash desperately, his body pressed against mine, caging me beneath him. His kiss is urgent and demanding, and I sigh with relief at the familiarity. A deep well of longing is wrapped in that kiss, a need to find oneness and raw vulnerability.

His tongue licks mine, sending fire through my veins. My hips rise to meet him.

He growls against my lips, his voice thick and rough. “I’ll put my baby in you. I want to make you mine in every way possible.”

I give myself to him fully, without reserve, without regret. “Yes,” I whisper, holding his gaze. “Make me yours. I want to hear you say my name.”

Holding my gaze, he whispers the words I’ve longed to hear. “I love you, Polina.”

Our hands are frantic and desperate as we tug off my clothes and his, fabric thrown on the floor until finally, our naked bodies press against each other. I sigh at the touch of his hot, rough palm on my body. My eyes flutter closed as he lowers his mouth to my neck and kisses a trail from my collarbone to my breasts. He takes his sweet time, bridling his urgency, as he cups each breast before he drags my nipple between his teeth and suckles.

My hips undulate, and wet heat pools between my legs. My mouth drops open in a gasp as he holds my body between his hands and continues to torture and worship my nipples. I sigh into him at the feel of his hot, hard erection pressed against my naked skin.

He smells like snow-capped mountains and a field of grass, earthy and clean. I savor the sight of his powerful, muscled body and tanned skin. His weight presses on me, and I feel as if I’ve been swallowed whole. Every moan he elicits is met with his own growl of need as we move together, two lovers who’ve been through hell and back and won’t ever let each other go.

His lips meet mine as he parts my legs with one knee, his hungry gaze on my body making me feel wanted. I want him inside me so much I can hardly breathe.

I love the weight of him on me, his large hands exploring my naked skin with a branding touch. He kisses first one breast, then another, before he pushes my legs apart. With unabashed hunger, he draws in a deep breath as if drinking in my scent. With a moan of pleasure, he laps my inner thigh. My pussy spasms, and he hasn’t even gone there yet.

I’m breathless, my mouth dry, as he pins my arms by my side and growls something unintelligible, a command to keep them there. His fingers dig into my thighs, spreading me so wide apart it’s indecent, his gaze on me wicked as he breathes hot air on my throbbing clit.

“Shh,” he whispers. “Not a word, my little swan. I asked for your forgiveness. You granted that. Now let me taste you. I need you.”

He tongues my slick thighs with a guttural groan. I moan out loud, desperate for the wet heat of his mouth on me, as he glides thick, hot fingers in my core and presses in deep, his second hand under my ass, lifting my pussy to his mouth.

“Fucking gorgeous,” he growls. “ Ty moya, Polina. I’ll give you pleasure until you scream my name and forget how to breathe. I want you to feel me over every inch of your body.”

His tongue flutters over my clit. My hips jerk. My hands go to grab him, but I remember his warning and holy hell, I am not doing the slightest thing that could earn me punishment, not now, when I’m at the very gates of heaven.

He licks me again and again. I writhe and moan as the first wave of pleasure arrests me. A second shudder rocks me to my core, even as pleasure continues to build—cresting, soaring, climbing, until utter, blinding, mindless bliss consumes me.

I scream, and he lets my hands go so he can grab my hips and hold me down on earth. I tremble and writhe, fist my hands in his hair, my knees graze his beard, and his tongue doesn’t stop.

I can’t breathe as every muscle in my body tenses, ensnared in utter, devastating bliss.

I collapse on the bed. I can’t move. I am utterly paralyzed beneath him, yet still so wildly hungry for him inside me, I whisper a heated, desperate, “Please, Rafail.”

His eyes on me are wild with passion as he pushes himself above me, grabs the thick length of his cock in his fist, and glides the tip to my core. My mouth is open in anticipation, my body trembling as his hands anchor on my hips and thrusts. My head hits the pillow as the echo of ecstasy electrifies me.

“Oh god,” I half sob, half plead, as he thrusts again and again, hard and demanding, pleasure echoing through my body like the beating of a drum. My skin’s on fire, and my breath is coming in gasps. I feel his hardened length in me, filling me, stretching, sending spasms of pleasure to every inch of me.

Bending his mouth to my neck, he kisses me, his eyes filled with nothing short of adulation, as if he’s been searching for something his entire life and… it’s me. He’s found it.

“Rafail,” I whisper in his ear as he thrusts again.

Baby.

I want to put my baby in you.

I’ll make you mine in every way possible.

I’m still riding the wave of pleasure when a second orgasm echoes the first. I lock my fingers around his neck, our sweat-slicked chests pressed together. I shudder and moan, meeting his thrusts as he grips me in his arms and comes with a low growl of pleasure, so masculine, so raw and primal, it sends me straight into another orbit. I scream beneath him as he spills inside me, his forehead pressed to mine.

“I love you,” he says in a hoarse whisper as pleasure pulls me under.

“I love you,” I whisper back as my eyes flutter closed. I ride the waves of pleasure while he continues to thrust. I cherish the feel of his hot seed inside me, and I welcome the branding heat of his kiss on my forehead before he falls beside me.

We’re still wrapped in each other’s arms when the first hint of sleep washes over me. I’m blissed out. I never knew pleasure so perfect and full, and now I’ve got nothing left to give. He pulls out of me, rolls me over, and tucks me against him. I’m a mess, and so is he, but I don’t care. I feel the warmth of his balled-up tee between my legs. The weight of his body behind me and the heft of his arm around me as he tucks me to his chest. His nose in my hair and mouth on my neck before I fall into a deep, blissful, restful sleep.

When I wake, I frantically check for him. I’m used to him up by now, working out, checking messages and updates on his phone, staring out at the sunrise while sipping a cup of coffee. But today, he’s right beside me.

I know he’s awake when he strokes my shoulder, the heat of his hand travels the length of my body, and his rough fingers splay across my belly. I don’t know how one can feel completely consumed by another person, but he’s gone and done it.

“Morning, beautiful,” he says in that sleepy-sexy growl. “Are you alright?”

I turn to face him, tucking my head into the warm space of his neck. Here, I feel protected… but for the first time, I realize this is what I’ve been fighting for, this is what I’ve wanted. To belong. For someone to choose me as much as I choose them.

And I mean it. The weeks of confusion, pain, and uncertainty, even as I was falling in love with my would-be husband, were worth it, every damn second, so I could revel in the bliss of being reunited.

“Never been better.”

His strong hand cups my ass as I nestle in. “I smell coffee.”

“Mmm,” I murmur with a sleepy sigh. “Sounds delicious, but… I don’t want to see anyone right now.”

“Hell no. Me neither. I’ll get us some.”

I sigh. “I’d rather skip morning coffee than have you leave right now.”

His phone dings with a text. Without letting me go, he reaches over and checks it.

“Hot damn. Zoya brought us up breakfast and coffee. Thought we could use some alone time.”

“You need to buy that girl a pony.”

“A pony?”

“Yeah. Or like… I don’t know. A Camaro. Private island? Something. She deserves it for putting up with you all these years, then pulling her weight like a boss when we were attacked, and just everything.”

He kisses my cheek. I stare up at him.

“You have no idea how much it means to me that you love them too.”

I think of my brothers and smile at him. “Actually, I think that I do. Once you and Mikhail get over your pissing matches, you might even find out you get along.”

He smirks. God, I love it when he smirks. “We have no choice after the wedding, so that sounds like an excellent idea.”

We eat a simple breakfast of warm, buttered muffins and strong, hot coffee. I wipe butter off his chin, and he nibbles a crumb off my lip. We kiss, and soon, we’re tangled in the sheets all over again.

“We have to stop this,” he says with a teasing smile. “We have work to do.”

“Fine,” I say with a belabored sigh. “Any word on Soloto?”

“He’s been sighted on his way back to Colombia.”

“Good riddance,” I say with a shake of my head, but he quirks a brow at me.

“You really don’t think we’d let him go unpunished? After all this? Hell, Polina, even if he hadn’t done what he did, the fact that he came after you is enough to sign his death warrant.”

I swallow hard.

We. He said we.

He means his family and my brothers.

And yes, we’re talking about the undoubtedly painful and merciless death of a man, but Soloto is a tyrant who will stop at nothing, I reason. If we don’t end him, he’ll only set his sights on another vulnerable target or double his efforts to retaliate against us and the destruction we brought to his men.

I nod. “Yeah,” I say softly. “I do know that.” I lean back against the pillows, my belly and my heart full. “Do you have any preferences about wedding ceremonies?”

His eyes shine at me. “Yes, very much so.”

“Oh?”

“I want you in my sights every second until we take our vows.”

“Oh, is that all?”

“Nope,” he says with a possessive growl that makes me giggle. “That’s not all.”

“What else?”

“I want you to have everything you want. Whatever flowers or cake, dances or favors, venue or songs. It doesn’t matter to me. All that matters is that you have what you want.”

“Why’s that?” I ask teasingly, tracing my finger along his jaw.

Rafail leans in and kisses my cheek before pulling back and sliding his hand under my chin. “Because, my love. I want this to be a wedding that you never, ever forget.”