Chapter 30

POLINA

Little Zoya does her best to bring ease to the tension in the room. “May I bring some tea and refreshments?” she asks Rafail, who begrudgingly allows her with a nod. She’s at home in the kitchen and wants to play the part of hostess.

He has his work cut out for him, and I know this. We also have unresolved conflict we need to deal with. Still, I don’t know what to do first. I look around the room, half-bewildered, as Rafail issues commands and makes calls as my brothers’ cars pull up to the curb.

“It’ll be alright.” I look to see Grandfather sitting in one of the upholstered chairs, his gnarled hand gripping the top of his cane. “Stay strong.”

I nod and lift my head. I will.

When my brothers enter the room, however, I move without thinking. I run to them. For once, I feel like a little girl again— safe, loved, and protected. These are my brothers, my flesh and blood.

How will I ever choose between the family who raised me and the one I’ve come to love here?

Mikhail’s arms are wide as I launch into his bear-like hug. My oldest brother, my protector. We have always been close, even when we fought like cats and dogs as kids. Now, in his arms, I feel like a part of me that was missing has returned.

“God, we were so scared,” he says in my ear. “I felt so guilty for allowing you to come here and then knowing you were gone. Polina, I can’t tell you how good it is to see you’re alright.” He holds me in front of him. “You’ll tell us the truth about how he treated you?”

I nod. “I am. Oh god, I’ve missed you all so much.”

I’m crying freely by the time Lev hugs me. Ollie comes in to join us, and in seconds, I’m a blubbering mess, and we all try to talk at once. Viktor can practically put his arms around all of us, but it’s a crying, messy, sniffy reunion. We’re all talking at once.

“I couldn’t remember you,” I sniff, swiping at my eyes. “I didn’t know who I was, and they told me I’d remember you, but?—”

“—couldn't find you. Looked everywhere. Scoured Russia until?—”

“—beside ourselves.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” It’s Mikhail, who’s pried the others off me and now holds me at arm’s length, his eyes boring into mine. Speaking in a low tone, he leans in close. “We don’t have much time, Polina. Did he hurt you?”

Did he hurt me?

How do I answer that question?

Did he tie me to his bed and lie to me, telling me I was his wife and I’d taken vows?

Yes.

Did he dominate me, force obedience from me, and make good on punishing me when I pushed back?

He did.

I swallow hard.

Did he show me he loved me? Did he prove himself to be authentic and real and so absolutely devoted he’d burn the world for me?

He did.

So I give Mikhail a watery smile. “Hurt me? It was nothing I couldn’t handle.” And when Mikhail’s eyes narrow on me, I state the argument he can’t defeat. “He did nothing you wouldn’t have done, Mikhail. Nothing any of you wouldn’t have done.”

Mikhail, my fierce and protective warrior of a brother, who tethered his own wife to him as a form of punishment for hacking into the Bratva of The Cove. Aleksandr, madly in love and father to the children of his own wife, promised to him in a loveless union of an arranged marriage. I could go on because each one of them could tell a similar story of an unlikely union, family loyalty, and love despite the odds.

My mother enters the room. She stares at me for a few seconds as if she can’t believe her eyes before she rushes to me. The familiar warmth of her embrace makes something deep inside me unravel.

Mom.

I fit here. I belong here. It’s as familiar to me as my own two hands being held by her.

Mom.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers in my ear. “I’m partly to blame for all this, and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me.”

I wipe at my eyes. “I think there’s a lot of forgiveness that will have to be granted.”

But how is she possibly to blame?

The tension in the room is palpable, but we’re closer to the truth than we’ve ever been.

“Sit down, everyone, please,” Zoya says softly in her childlike voice as she enters the room carrying a large tray of tea and cups. “I find it’s easier to have a pleasant conversation when we’re sitting.”

I love her so. Rafail takes the tray from her despite her protests and slides it onto the coffee table. “Semyon. Get the vodka for those of us who need something stronger than tea.”

“You’re wise, Zoya,” Grandfather says, his eyes twinkling at her. “You have more than your parents to thank for that.”

She’s so cute when she blushes.

Yana sits up straight, her eyes never leaving Rafail. “Where’s Gleb?”

“In holding.”

Yana nods and turns her focus straight to Ekaterina. “As I said to the others, there’s a shortage of women in these two families, so we must stand together. Allow me to make some introductions.”

I barely hear her. My gaze is trained on Rafail, who paces behind the sofa despite Zoya’s request. His friend Vadka has joined us.

“Before we begin,” my mother starts. She places her teacup down on a saucer, her hands trembling. “I’m afraid that some of this… is my fault.” Her eyes shimmering with tears, she turns to me. “I… I wanted a daughter, Polina. So badly.”

I stare at her, bewildered. I knew I was adopted, but I never knew the terms of the adoption.

“I begged your father for a daughter, and after years of waiting, he finally granted my wish. He was reluctant, you know—daughters hold a different meaning in our world. Sons bring strength, alliances, power. That’s why we have six of them. All adopted, yet all bound by loyalty. Then, one day, he brought me you.” She smiles, but her eyes reflect a sadness from long ago.

My throat feels tight, and my nose tingles, but I listen as calmly as I can.

“I didn’t know until ten years later that you had a sister. That you were separated in infancy. Another family adopted Anissa and took her as their own. It was a closed adoption, and they made it clear they wanted no one to ever contact them again.” She shakes her head. “But I knew your father was powerful and above all that. I knew he could’ve found out what he needed to.”

I stare, trying to process what she’s telling me. I haven’t had time to truly dwell on this since Gleb mentioned someone who looked just like me, and now my own mother is admitting as much.

I have a sister.

A sister who was supposed to marry the man who I’m in love with.

A sister who looks just like me and is presumably alive if she ran from him not that long ago. Who is she? Does she remember me? I don’t remember her, but my heart aches thinking there’s someone out there I’m related to who I’ve never met.

Jesus, I’m gonna need some therapy after all of this shit.

Zoya meets my eyes and swallows hard before giving me a tentative smile. This sweet girl has lost both her parents, was raised into near adulthood by her brother, and knows her family lives on a razor’s edge. And still, she hasn’t forgotten how to smile.

She’s inspiring.

We all listen in rapt silence. Even Mikhail looks shocked. He didn’t know.

She clears her throat. “So I never told you, Polina. I feared you’d want to find her, and I feared the wrath of her family if you did.” Sighing, she continues. “I let fear guide my decisions, and for that, I’m so sorry and ask your forgiveness.”

My god. What other secrets is she hiding?

With a sigh, she continues. “And our family was weakened. With the divide that tore us apart after your father’s death, Mikhail was on a mission to strengthen us. We made strategic choices. I never imagined that bringing you to Moscow would have put you in danger. I was trying to do the very opposite.”

Rafail watches in stony silence, his gaze fixed on my mother. I feel the rift between us as painfully as I felt the ache in my bones after the accident. I close my eyes and remind myself I overcame that then. I can overcome this now.

Zoya hands me a cup of bracing hot tea. I nod in thanks, not trusting my voice, and take a sip.

It helps.

“And when I brought you here, I thought I could keep you safe. I have friends in Moscow,” she explains to Rafail. “And I feared the attack of Soloto.”

Nodding, he listens in stoic silence.

“And then… when I heard you were gone,” she says in a voice that wavers, on the brink of breaking down. “Witnesses said you were hit by a car. I feared the worst. We thought—” She clasps a hand to her mouth.

“We thought one of our enemies killed you,” Mikhail says with a deep sigh. I close my eyes, feeling the weight of their fear and worry. “But we had no evidence. No body. No witnesses who saw them bury you.”

I can’t imagine the pain they all went through, not knowing, fearing…

“But we kept hope,” my mother continues. “We hoped you’d only been… taken.” Her eyes flutter closed as I realize she’s spent the last month battling her greatest fears: I’d either been killed, or I’d been stolen and used.

Rafail shakes his head. “I had no idea.” His voice cracks. “I’m sorry.”

Zoya nods, her eyes wide and fearful. “I can promise you, he’s telling you the truth. He didn’t know; he truly thought Polina was Anissa.”

“The woman who betrayed us,” Rodion clarifies with cold decision. “She jilted him at the altar after she was promised to him. When we found An— Polina , we truly thought she was someone else.”

“Gleb wanted us to think that,” Semyon says, shaking his head. “And when we found out she had amnesia, we thought…”

“No,” Rafail cuts in. “When I found out she had amnesia. I won’t let anyone else take responsibility for my decisions.” He turns to me. “When I saw you that day, and you ran from me, I thought you were running from a man you knew. I had no idea I was a stranger to you.” He curses under his breath, shaking his head.

My voice feels small but carries with confidence across the room. “When I woke up, and I was restrained, you thought I would try to get away… again.” I face Mikhail. “I know this much is true because he told me bits of Anissa’s story. That my father had given me to him in payment for a debt. That I ran from him. Anissa did run from him. And so did I.”

I look at Rafail. As the veil of deceit falls the more we discuss what happened, the more vulnerable the two of us become.

“Forgive me, Polina,” Rafail says, his voice hoarse. “Outside the safe house, I said I wouldn’t let you go without a fight.” His gaze locks onto mine. “But I won’t hurt your family. I can’t do that. This is me, fighting.” He stands, all corded muscle and alpha-male power, bridled but pulsing with life and promise. He turns to Mikhail. “I love your sister. I love her with all of my heart. Though I lied to her and take responsibility for my part in this… when I called her my wife… I meant it. I treated her the way I’d treat my wife. I took her into this family with the promise to love and protect her, and I promised I would do that to my dying day. I won’t stop fighting for her.” He holds my gaze. “I love you, Polina.”

My heart beats so fast I feel nearly faint.

He loves me.

And somehow, I already knew it, but hearing him confirm what I already knew is the reassurance I needed. I wipe at my eyes again.

He loves me.

Mikhail stares at him, unblinking. Rafail continues. “I would give her anything she wanted. Even her freedom, if that’s what she asked for. And all I ask from you, Polina,” he says as he faces me again. “Is your forgiveness.”

Yana sniffs and wipes at her eyes. She won’t look at me. Zoya sits beside her, consoling her. My heart feels wrenched as I see the people I love most in the world distraught and bereft.

I wish I could wave a magic wand and make everything right, but we have to wrestle through it. We can slay the dragons in our midst, but we still have to tend to the wounded… like me.

Mikhail clears his throat. “Thank you both for telling the truth. It took courage.” He sighs. “It seems we’ve all been deceived in one way or another, and it’s refreshing to see the truth come to light.”

I take another sip of tea to prevent myself from losing my shit.

Forgiveness.

Can I forgive him? How ?

I may have thought it impossible one time, that I’d never be able to look at him without seeing lies. But now I realize love is so much more complicated and imperfect.

He loves me, there’s no question, but he… he loved me thinking I was someone else. He loved me, believing we were destined to be married. He loved me because he was loyal to his family and determined to make me pay.

“May I speak?” I don’t even know who I’m asking, but Rafail and Mikhail both nod.

I think, mulling over my words before I say them, deliberating over what needs to be said. My thoughts swirl like a tempest, and it’s hard to get them under control. I finally decide just to dive in and speak my heart.

“The time I’ve spent here has been challenging for me, and not because I wasn’t welcomed by the Kopolov family. I want to make that clear, that the code here is as similar to our family’s as could be.”

Mikhail nods. Everyone waits for me.

But I’m also aware of little Zoya and Yana, looking to me as the big sister they never had. Of Rodion and Semyon, two men who’ve become like brothers to me in such a short time. My mother, who thought she lost me and sacrificed so much—who begged for a daughter and has always treated me like a gift she’d been granted. My brothers, who thought I was gone, who’ve scoured the city looking for me and were ready to do anything and everything to keep me safe.

But most of all… Rafail. The man I thought was my husband.

The man I’ve come to love.

I’m keenly aware of Rafail watching me, the heat of his gaze burning into me.

“What will happen, Rafail? Mikhail? If the two of our families did marry? Would it be wrong to assume it would be a mutually beneficial situation?”

Mikhail shakes his head. “Not at all.”

Rafail nods wordlessly in agreement. It’s then that I note tears shining in his eyes, something I never thought I’d see.

I look around the room, seeing so many of the people I love the most gathered in one space. While some of my memories are still foggy, they are coming back rapidly now. My brothers are married. I love their wives, all of them. I have nieces and nephews and friends I’ve forgotten, but I know now who they are.

I look at these people. My innermost circle. My brothers, who would do anything for me. My mother, who hid the truth to protect me, and Rafail, who lied to me yet loved me through everything. It’s a lot to digest. But if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that love is messy, complicated, and beautiful. That it takes courage to love someone and courage still to let them love you back. That love comes in unexpected ways and sometimes when you least expect it.

“I won’t lie to myself or you,” I say to Rafail. “Any of you. You hurt me. You took my freedom away. You lied to me and made me believe something that wasn’t true.” My voice cracks. “But I also know it to be true that you love me. And that I… I love you.”

Pain flickers in his eyes. He’s afraid of losing me; I know this. Losing the people he loves is one of his greatest fears. “Polina, I won’t make excuses for what I did. But I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you.” His gaze remains fixed on me. “Tell me what you want, no matter the cost… even if it’s your freedom.” His voice breaks. “Even if it means never seeing you again.”

Mikhail watches us, his gaze harsh. “Asking her to forgive and forget, after everything she went through, is a big ask.” I look at my brothers, stern and angry, and I’m not the only one who’s noted the tension in the room. Semyon and Rodion stand at the ready, and Vadka is on standby.

“We’re not fighting here,” Zoya says in her quiet way. “If you guys have to fight it out, please go outside.”

I shake my head. “That won’t be necessary.” I pin both Mikhail and Rafail with my gaze. “Will it, boys?”

Rafail shakes his head. Mikhail reluctantly does the same.

Uniting my family and his would be the right thing to do.

Forgiveness would bring peace.

So would marriage.

I draw in a deep breath, steadying myself. “I choose to forgive you, Rafail. It’s the right thing to do.” I continue, my voice tremulous. “Because I know you. And I love you too,” I say softly. “I’ve seen who you are beneath all those layers. Below your armor.” I reach for my cup and take another sip of tea, silently praying for courage and clarity.

I’ve seen the man behind the mask. I know how vulnerable and afraid he is behind that veil of coldness.

“While I would never call you… soft ,” I continue. Rodion snorts but stops with a predictable scowl from Rafail. “There are rare moments when I see you love, and you love deeply. Everything you’ve done was for good reason. I’ve seen you willing to sacrifice, to change, and even here today, be meek enough to admit wrongdoing and ask for forgiveness. And for that, and so much more, I love you.”

I turn to Mikhail. “So I ask that you all give me the one thing I’ve never had and have begged from both you and Rafail.”

“Yes?” Rafail says hoarsely.

I blow out a breath. “A choice.”

A clock ticks on a distant wall. In the distance, a dog howls, and the wind beats at the windows as they wait for me.

“Of course,” Mikhail says. “It’s the least we can do after all you’ve been through.”

Rafail nods. “Agreed.”

“Good,” I say, my heart beating rapidly with nerves and excitement. I’m shaking. “I want to stay. I… I belong here now. But I want to live here knowing that my family is welcome and that I’m welcome at home.”

“After everything you’ve been through,” Mikhail says, his face hard. “You’re choosing him? Are you sure?” Though his voice is low and controlled, I can still see the storm brewing in his eyes.

“Yes, Mikhail,” I say, my voice firm. “Because I love him. And because it’s my choice.”

He gives one last lingering look to Rafail before he finally nods. “I saw the way you defended her when we were attacked. I watched how you protected her.” He nods. “It is your choice, but it’s my job to make sure you’re well cared for. And you believe he has the ability to do so?”

I nod, my throat tight.

He does.

“I want our families united. Together, we prove a more powerful entity that even Soloto and all his men couldn’t destroy. I know this is putting a target on our backs though. I know we’ll have to be ready for a fallout.”

Rafail nods. “Agreed.”

I smile at him. My heart feels lighter than it has since well before I came here.

I breathe out, the weight of my decision finally lifting from my chest. My family and Rafail’s watch me with a mixture of relief and cautious hope. Finally, the tension begins to dissipate into something… lighter.

New.

Zoya claps her hands, her eyes sparking with excitement. “Then it’s settled! We’ll have a wedding!” Her infectious joy spreads, and for the first time in what feels like a long time… I smile.

“Since we’re all in agreement, then,” I say, turning to my mother. “I believe it’s time to plan a wedding. ”