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Chapter 16

A week had passed since Mia had called about Leon's release. Tabitha had spent most of each day staring out her windows while all the doors and windows were locked. She'd also clutched her cell phone, ready to dial 911 if she spied Leon in the woods.

She hadn't.

Today, she'd had enough. She took a shower and then carefully arranged her hair in a neat bun at the nape of her neck. After that, she put on a pair of jeans, a pretty tan sweater that had an intricate cable design, and tan socks and thick-soled brown loafers. Her heavy navy coat and black leather purse completed her outfit.

Peering in the mirror, Tabitha knew she looked very different from the proper Amish wife she'd once tried so hard to be. It wasn't altogether a bad thing, either. Not dressing Plain still felt strange, but she couldn't deny that she didn't miss her dresses all that much. She certainly didn't miss pinning her dress together with straight pins.

Mia had taken her out shopping for a few sets of English clothes after Tabitha's divorce was finalized. Her lawyer had been ready for her to be scared and worried about looking so different, but she hadn't been. As much as Tabitha had liked being Amish, so much of that life was twisted in her brain. Now the thought of wearing the dress and kapp only brought back bad memories because Leon had often found something wrong with her. Either the dress wasn't long enough or it was too tight. Or too loose. Or she hadn't pinned the fabric in the correct way. Or there was a smudge of dirt on one of the ties to her kapp.

In the months before Leon had beaten her the last time, her clothes had become a great source of stress. When Tabitha had woken up in the hospital, that had been one of the first things she'd thought about—what Leon was going to say if he saw her looking so unkempt. She'd been so scared, the doctor had even prescribed a mild sedative so she could get some rest.

The nurses and social worker had looked at her with pity. So had the sheriff. Sheriff Johnson had been so kind to her. He'd been the one to call Mia. Tabitha later learned that he'd also been the one to suggest Mia take Tabitha's case for free. Mia hadn't hesitated to represent her either. She'd been determined to help Tabitha get on her own two feet and living independently.

The day Mia had taken Tabitha to the mall had been filled with tears, both happy and sad. She'd been so relieved that Leon could no longer refer to her as "his"—and force her to do anything he wanted ever again. But all the changes in her life had made her sad too. She'd never yearned to be anything beyond a teacher and then a wife and mother.

While that hadn't happened, she knew God had a plan to redeem what had happened.

Trying on those jeans had felt dangerous and freeing. Now she hardly wore them. More often than not, she put on loose slacks. But sometimes she knew she needed to remind herself that she was different. Today was one of those days.

When she got to town, Tabitha took care to avoid most of the Amish who were out. She also walked with her head down and avoided making eye contact with anyone she passed.

"Tabitha, is that you?"

She knew that voice. To a lot of people, the owner was probably someone they wanted to avoid. To her, the man would always represent everything good in the world. But it was still hard for her to speak to anyone.

"You can do this," she whispered to herself. "God obviously knew you could too. That's why He put the sheriff right here in your path."

Lifting her chin, she turned to face the man who'd saved her life. As usual, his bald head drew her attention before she focused on his kind-looking brown eyes. Other people might be taken aback by the man's size or the visible scar on his lip. Not her, though. That scar reminded her that she wasn't the only person who'd experienced pain.

Tabitha drew a deep breath. "Yes. Hello, Sheriff Johnson."

Smile lines appeared around his eyes. "I hoped it was you. I couldn't be sure, though, since you look so different than the last time we talked."

"I reckon that's true." The last time she'd seen him, he'd visited her house about a week after she'd gotten home from the safe house. She'd still been nursing two broken ribs, a black eye, and several cuts and other bruises. She'd also been about ten pounds lighter and wore a faded dress that had hung on her. Now here she was in jeans and a sweater.

"You're looking very nice today. Your new look suits you."

"Thank you." She gripped a bit of the denim that covered her legs. "I'm still getting used to wearing jeans."

"I imagine so." His voice easy, he asked, "Are you doing okay?"

She shrugged, determined to be honest.

He nodded in understanding. "I spoke to Mia." He frowned. "And the folks out in Bowling Green."

Tabitha appreciated him being so direct. "That's why I came to town. I wanted to speak to you. I mean, if I may."

"Of course. Let's go to my office."

She nodded and stayed by his side as they walked the two blocks to the sheriff's department.

"I promised Kristie I'd pick up a couple of things for supper," he said when she eyed the canvas bag half filled with groceries that he carried. "Now we just have to hope I remember to take them out of the staff refrigerator when I leave."

She chuckled. "If you forgot, that would be bad."

"It sure would, because we'd end up having sandwiches instead of tacos tonight." He winked. "A cold ham sandwich just isn't the same."

"I don't think so either."

Looking pleased that they were in agreement, Sheriff Johnson opened the door to the building and gestured for her to go first.

"Hey, Sheriff," a woman called out with a thick drawl. She was around Tabitha's age and wore about a dozen woven bracelets on both wrists. "You got a couple of messages."

Tabitha tried to remember her name. Courtney? Yes, that was it.

"Can they wait? Tabitha and I are going to visit for a spell."

She looked down at the stack of notes laid out in front of her. "Sure thing. None of these looks urgent."

"Where's Junior?"

The receptionist grinned. "He's visiting with our favorite Bigfoot tracker."

"Glad to hear it."

"I know, right?" As if she was finally placing Tabitha, Courtney gentled her voice. "Hey. How are you?"

"I'm fine, thank you. And you?"

"I can't complain." Courtney stood and wiggled her fingers. "Hand over those groceries, Billy. I'll put 'em in the fridge." The phone rang and she picked it up. "Crittenden County Sheriff's Department."

After placing the bag on the corner of Courtney's desk, Sheriff Johnson opened the door to his office. "Come on in, Tabitha. If we stay, Courtney's going to decide I need to speak to someone and you'll be waiting out here till the cows come home."

She followed Sheriff Johnson in and then took a chair in front of his desk while he closed the door and got settled. "As you can see, things are just as busy as ever around here."

"Sorry, I don't want to be rude, but ... we've got a Bigfoot tracker?"

"It's nothing to worry about. There's a lady out in Walker Woods who's sure she's seen Bigfoot. She calls in her reports a couple of times a month." He shrugged. "She's lonely, I'm afraid. Junior and I take turns paying her a call. We listen to her report while she serves us pie."

"I see."

"It's okay if you don't," he said with a laugh. "But she's harmless. Besides, everyone needs a little bit of help sometimes, right?"

"Right." Her body relaxed a bit.

"Are you ready to talk, Tabitha?"

"Yes."

"Anything in particular worrying you?"

"I'm afraid Leon's going to show up at the house." She clenched her hands, half prepared to defend herself when he shrugged off her worry.

Sheriff Johnson didn't do that at all. Instead, he looked her in the eye. "I know you're worried. I think that's to be expected. There's nothing wrong with being concerned, either. But as soon as I heard from Mia, I double-checked the status of his restraining order. It's still in effect and it's not going anywhere."

"Do you think that will keep him away?"

"I'm not going to lie to you, Tabitha. All I can say is that I hope so." He opened a drawer, pulled out a folder, and then glanced at a sheet of paper with handwritten notes scribbled across the top half of it. "I spoke with a lieutenant over in Bowling Green. He said that Leon's case is going to go before the grand jury in a week or two. A witness has come forward."

"I don't understand why he's not in jail."

"He's got some people on his side, I guess. They put up the bail. It was a good amount, Tabitha."

"How did he get so much money?" She'd always believed the root of Leon's quick temper was his financial troubles. They hadn't much to speak of when they'd been married. At least, she hadn't believed they did.

"I asked the same thing." Glancing down at his notes again, Sheriff Johnson frowned. "The lieutenant seemed just as concerned as I was. I'm not going to be shy about asking around, though, and neither are the folks in Bowling Green." He exhaled. "But you and I know things like this take time."

She nodded slowly. "I understand."

He closed his folder, seemed to come to a decision, and walked around his desk to take the chair next to her. "Tabitha, I'm going to stop by your place as often as I can, and Deputy Ernst will too. You'll see our cars driving by several times a day."

She swallowed. "All right." When he didn't speak, merely studied her, feeling frustrated, she said, "If Leon decides to come to the house and one of you is there, he's just going to wait until you leave."

"I know." He folded his hands on his lap. "Is there someplace else you can go for a spell?"

"No."

"Are you sure? Isn't your family still in the area?"

"I see my sister Mary some, but I can't impose. She has four little boys. And her husband is nice and all, but he's wary about being around me."

"Because of the divorce."

"Jah. Roy is kind of a stickler, you see."

Sheriff Johnson frowned. "I'm afraid I don't. Roy's your brother-in-law?"

"He is, but rules are important to him. I wasn't shunned, but divorce is very frowned upon. Plus, now that some time has passed, people's memories twist and turn. They start remembering things differently."

"Even Roy."

"Jah." As difficult as it was to admit it, she forced herself to be honest. "A couple of people told me that I was being disrespectful to Leon. They've painted me to be the culprit."

Sympathy pinched his expression. "I'm sorry about that."

"I am too." She swallowed. "I think some folks feel guilty about never stepping in to help me. Maybe it's easier for them to repaint the past instead of coming to terms with their own faults?"

"If that's the case, it wouldn't be the first time that's happened. Glass houses and all that."

Tabitha wasn't sure exactly what he meant but thought she got the gist of it. "All that matters to me anymore is that I know the truth and so does God." She took a deep breath and added, "And Leon. He knows what he did, Sheriff Johnson."

"I do too, Tabitha. I won't ever forget the state I found you in. Now, would you like me to find you someplace temporary? There are some agencies that provide safe houses."

She shook her head. "I don't want to leave. If I do leave and he shows up, he's liable to try to stay."

"Deputy Ernst and I would help him move out."

"I know, but it's home now. I don't want him there at all."

He looked at her for the span of a heartbeat. "I understand," he said at last. "You might not be safe, though."

"I've also become friends with Seth Zimmerman." She didn't have to ask if he knew Seth. The answer was written all over Sheriff Johnson's face. "He's not afraid of Leon."

"No, I don't imagine he is."

Tabitha wasn't sure whether she heard a note of sarcasm in his voice or not. "I've known Seth a long time."

"Are you sure he's the best person to turn to? I fear his stint in prison changed him. A man has to become hard in order to survive behind bars."

"I don't need a friend with a spotless past, Sheriff. You might not think Seth is worthy of forgiveness, but I do."

"Tabitha, I didn't say he wasn't worthy. Actually, as much as I don't like what happened to Peter, I firmly believe that his death was an accident. Seth could've probably gotten out of serving time if he'd fought harder for himself."

"Do you think he wanted to punish himself?"

"I couldn't say. But, here's the thing, Tabitha. It's always been my belief that a person can ask others for forgiveness but the hardest person to grant absolution to is oneself."

"You're saying he hasn't forgiven himself."

"I'm saying that's my opinion. I could very well be wrong." He stood up. "Now, if there's nothing else you'd like to tell me, I should go help out Courtney and start answering all those messages. You talk to Seth and I will too. If we all work together, we'll be able to keep you safe. I'll be in touch."

"Thank you, Sheriff."

He reached out and clasped her hand with both of his. "I do think that we've got a little bit of time before Leon heads this way. He's running scared, and the folks in Bowling Green are going to be keeping a close eye on him. Maybe that will give you some comfort?"

Tabitha nodded but didn't reply. Knowing that she might have to wait even longer for Leon to show up didn't make her feel too good. Not good at all.

But there seemed to be nothing else to say.

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