20. Rhys

20

RHYS

“ O h my god Cal, I swear I will roast your chestnuts on an open fire if you don't pick a song already and let it play!” I threatened as he flipped past yet another song within the first few bars. He'd been trying to pick a song for the last six minutes and we'd only hear about fifteen seconds of music before he was moving on to the next. It was a particular brand of torture and I was seriously contemplating just shoving him out the passenger door. No jury in the world would convict me when they found out how far I'd been pushed. I was 99% confident about that.

“Hey, you're the one who said the passenger plays DJ, so suck it up, Sweetness. I'm trying to cultivate the perfect road trip mood. You can't rush these things,” Cal said smoothly, his eyes never leaving his phone screen while he scrolled through Spotify.

“What's wrong with Christmas music?” I grumbled.

“Nah, that's too predictable. I'm thinking of something a bit more classic. Maybe get a little carpool karaoke going. Are you a singer? You look like a singer. What's your jam? Boy bands or some Miley perhaps?” Cal guessed and I saw his teasing smirk out of the corner of my eye.

“I don't sing,” I said shortly, and Cal hummed in disbelief next to me .

“I don't buy it. You definitely give shower diva vibes. I can just see you belting out some showtunes in there.”

“Way to stereotype the gay guy,” I snorted.

“Rude. That's just uncalled for. Can a pansexual man even stereotype a gay man? I feel like Google would know. We should probably look that up. Also don't go knocking showtunes! I can defy gravity with the best of them. Oh! I found it. The perfect song,” Cal chattered away. Two cups of coffee wasn't enough to keep up with him today, and it was making my head spin.

“What are you on, Hawkins? Did you spike your Starbucks with cocaine or something? Good grief,” I griped, feeling grumpy but secretly entertained by his playfulness. It was incredible to see Cal so uninhibited and comfortable, especially after all the crap we'd weathered together recently.

We were still working through stuff with Cal being endlessly patient whenever lingering resentment or hurt flared up. I was understandably still cautious. Some days it felt like we were on fragile ground, trying to rebuild what was broken, but in some ways our friendship felt like the most sure and steady thing in my life.

In a way wholly apart from Micah and Fin, Cal had genuinely become my best friend. We never ran out of things to talk about, our teasing was merciless yet respectful, and even if I had spent several hours with him for days on end, I still wanted more. As terrifying a notion as it was, I didn't think I'd ever get enough of Cal.

“I'm appalled by your accusation, Evans. That shit is illegal and I am a good, wholesome boy who would never stoop so low as to taint my body with recreational drugs. I thought you knew me by now,” Cal tsked, shaking his head slowly with his hand dramatically clutched to his chest. For all the taunting he did about me being a nerd, this weirdo could rival even Fin and Micah's antics. I shot him a blank, unamused stare when we stopped at a red light, the struggle to keep a straight face dang near impossible.

I could see the cracks in his neutral expression, the twitch of his eyebrow and the faintest hint of a lip turning up showed me I just had to hold out a little longer. A car horn honked loudly behind us, sending us both jumping in our seats and drawing out my trademark startled yelp. That was all it took for us to crack and fall apart.

I fought to focus on driving in a straight line as we both howled with laughter. Our reactions were way out of proportion for how funny it actually was, but every time one of us would get close to stopping, the other would snort and elicit a new stream of cackles from us both. I threw a quick glance over at Cal, and his red face and beaming smile as he attempted to calm down had my stomach squirming and my heart beating frantically. My determination to lock down my feelings for him was slipping more each day. When Cal had confessed that he was falling for me, I had nearly passed out in a dramatic display that would have made Scarlett O'Hara proud. Fortunately, the absolute panic that drenched me had kept me rooted to my seat and my dignity intact.

It wasn't that I didn't want him. I had never dreamed I'd be lucky enough to hear those words from him, but I wasn't ready. We had been friends for all of two minutes when it all fell apart and we had so much work to do to be better. That had to be the priority. Plus my heart had been too wounded and weary to allow him back in. It just wasn't meant to be. Cal pushing me towards Adam at the library had been proof enough that he would agree with me. It hurt more than I expected to hear him practically tell me to move on with someone else, but it was the right call.

That was all there was to it. Callum and I were only destined to be friends. Even if my poor, abused heart screamed at me for more.

“Alright, where were we?” Cal commented after he'd caught his breath. “Ah yes! I present to you the perfect road trip song.”

Soft, twangy guitar chords drifted through the speakers that were instantly recognizable. The melody wrapped around me with dreamy nostalgia, creating visions of that dark desert highway.

“I love this song,” I voiced, unconsciously swaying to the beat. I hummed along, unwilling to let Cal hear my scratchy singing voice that I loathed.

“Of course you do, Sweetness. It's one of the best rock songs ever written. See? Perfection achieved,” he stated proudly. He started to croon along with the lyrics in a raspy, sexy voice. Part of me was outraged that he somehow sounded like that when he'd also been born with that face and athletic ability. There was no freaking justice in the world.

A deeper part of me was totally entranced and as Cal sang of pretty boys and sweet summer sweat, my pulse quickened and I felt color flood my face. Thinking about facing the next week with him had me worried for my sanity if this was how it would go. Like the sultry voice sang, I also thought to myself this could be Heaven or this could be Hell.

“It's such a beautiful song considering it's all about a guy's drug addiction,” I commented to deflect from my reaction to him.

“Ahh, but see, the song was about so much more than that. It was about indulgence and self-destruction, but there was also sociopolitical commentary woven in about the excessive American lifestyle. And underneath all that it can also be seen as the man's youth and na?veté being corrupted. It's fascinatingly complex,” Cal passionately explained and not for the first time, I was riveted by his captivating mind. Apparently, it was too much to ask the universe that he would be an idiot on top of being a hot singing jock.

“The next time you accuse me of being a nerd, I'm going to remind you of this moment…freak,” I snarked, but he merely winked at me and continued to sing. That single wink had a direct line to my dick.

I. Am. Doomed.

Eventually, Cal's serenading grew more insistent as he leaned toward me, getting more into the music as it played. His over-the-top singing finally fractured my resolve, and we belted out the final chorus together before Cal broke out his air guitar moves.

The remaining five hours of the car ride were filled with more laughter, banter, snacks, and even singalongs to my great displeasure. To his credit, Cal never made fun of my horrendous singing, but that might have been self-preservation more than anything. He probably figured I could easily pull a Thelma and Louise moment and drive us over a cliff if he didn't tread carefully.

I normally hated the drive to Oklahoma because it was boring as heck to spend nearly six hours alone in a car, but Cal made the time fly and I silently wished that it didn't have to end. By the time we pulled up to Gran's house, it was just past lunchtime and we were ravenous. Knowing Gran, she'd have a giant feast of options for us because that woman never did anything half-assed, particularly when there were guests involved.

I turned off the car and stared up at my childhood home, wondering what Cal would think of it. “Well, this is it. Casa Evans. You want to go in and meet Gran first, then come back for our stuff?” I asked, but when Cal didn't answer me I turned to look at him. He was pale in his seat, a worried expression plastered to his gorgeous face .

“Umm, you okay? You gonna faint or puke or something?” I said cautiously. He just sat there, unmoving. “Cal?”

“What if she hates me?” he blurted out, snapping his gaze to mine. “What if she doesn't like that you brought me along? I mean, I've never been introduced to someone's family before. I'm not exactly the “bring home to mom” type of guy, you know? Does it make it better or worse that she's your grandmother? Are they easier than moms? Shit, maybe you shouldn't have brought me.”

His anxious rambling was so endearing and adorable that my heart pinched tight in my chest, and a smile escaped me. I wanted to wrap my arms around him, bury my nose in his neck, and slow his heartbeat with my touch. Shaking off that insane urge, I gripped his shoulder gently.

“Hey, you have nothing to worry about. Gran will love you and is so happy you're spending the holidays with us. I've never brought anyone home with me before, so trust me when I say she was crazy excited,” I chuckled, but Cal pinned me with an inquisitive look.

“You've never brought someone home before?” He asked softly, his voice low and a tiny bit rough.

I fought against the shiver that worked its way down my spine from the intensity of his stare. “Nope. Just you,” I responded quietly.

“Why?” Cal questioned, those sharp eyes of his locked with mine.

Why indeed…

“I—I just thought you really needed it.”

I really needed you…

I cleared my throat and broke contact, hopping out of the car to get away from that alarming thought that floated to the surface. I hurried up to the front porch, but before I could knock the door flew open and I was swallowed up in a tight embrace, the scent of cinnamon apples engulfing me. No matter what time of year, Gran always smelled of cinnamon apples and it dang near brought tears to my eyes how much I had missed her.

“Oooooh, my sweet boy! There you are! You arrive in one piece? No car troubles, right? Didya eat on the road? I figured you'd both be starvin', so food's ready on the table just in case. Now where is this friend of yours? Where are your manners, Rhys Evans? You left him back in the car by himself. What the heck is the matter with you, boy?” Gran raced out a million thoughts at once, ever the human tornado. Between her and Cal's energy from earlier, I was already exhausted and ready to drop like a rock.

Is this what I sound like to people when I ramble? Sweet mercy, how have I not been committed yet?

“Gran, maybe take it down a few notches so you don't scare him and send him running back to Austin? We both know you're an acquired taste,” I sassed her, earning me a smack on the arm in retribution. I laughed at her scowl, pulling her into another big hug that she returned with twice the force. I released her and motioned for Cal to come over. He gingerly approached with a shy smile that looked so out of place on him.

“Hello Ms. Evans, it's really nice to meet you. Thank you so much for letting me spend the holidays with you both. I really appreciate it,” Cal said politely. I snickered at how formal and weird he was being with Gran, but she ate up his manners like apple pie.

“Oh, don't start with that Ms. Evans crap, I'm Gran to you!” Gran scolded sweetly before wrapping Cal up in a giant hug of his own. Cal's eyes bugged out and he looked shell-shocked for a few seconds, but eventually he gave into it and hugged her back. The sight had warmth flooding my body, wondering if this had been the only loving adult contact he'd gotten since his mom died.

Gran pulled back, but kept his shoulders in her firm grip and smiled up at him. “I'm thrilled you decided to join us for Christmas. You are more than welcome here, Callum. Or do you prefer Cal?”

“Uh, Cal's fine, ma'am. And thank you.”

“Well, let's not stand around here all day! Grab your bags, boys, and come on and eat!” With that, she marched back into the house and left us to unload.

In the kitchen, the bar top was lined with food. Mashed potatoes, fried okra, mac and cheese, fruit salad, burgers, chips, and even Gran's homemade fudge brownies were waiting for us. My mouth watered at the thought of having some of Gran's cooking again.

During lunch, I was shocked at how easily Cal seemed to talk and laugh with Gran, as if he had never been worried in the first place. I couldn't figure out if it was Gran's easygoing nature or Cal's normal confidence that had them gabbing like old friends. I had a gut feeling that part of it had to do with Cal's yearning to have a family again, to feel genuinely wanted and cared for. My heart ached for all the years Cal lost with a family who didn't love him as he should have been loved.

He could have that with you now. You'd love him enough to make up for all those years and more.

I quickly stood up and started clearing the table, anxious to get some space and escape the unbidden thoughts I was having. Cal was there as my friend, nothing more. I had to have boundaries with us, otherwise everything could fall apart again. I wasn't strong enough to stomach that.

“Hey, you okay?” I spun to see Cal coming up on my side as I finished the dishes, a small smile on his flawless face. “Need any help?”

God, it was getting hard to breathe when he was this close to me, his rich bergamot smell dousing my senses and melting my brain.“N-no, I'm good. Let's actually take our stuff upstairs and I can show you your room.”

Cal narrowed his gaze at me slightly, but only nodded and followed me to get our things. The hallway forked left and right at the top of the stairs, with my room on the right side at the end of the hall. I led Cal down the left side of the hallway to the back guest room.

“This will be your room for the week. It's—Cal?” I stopped when I realized he hadn't followed me in, so I peeked my head into the hall. Cal was stopped in front of the array of family photos that were hanging there.

“You guys look so happy in this one,” Cal said quietly, his gaze fixed on one photo in particular. In it, I was about eight years old standing between my mom and dad in front of a giant waterfall. Dad was soaked and had his arm slung around mom as she draped her arms around my shoulder, all our faces bright with laughter.

“Yeah, we were.” I smiled at the memory. “We were on a family vacation in Hawaii. Dad had been teasing me and mom for getting tired after climbing up to see this waterfall, but when he tried to get closer to the water, he slipped and fell in. I think mom and I laughed at him for a solid five minutes. This older couple passed us and Dad asked if they could snap that picture. Right after that was taken, Dad grabbed me and tossed me in the pool of water and then mom pushed him right back in to get him back for me. That was the best trip we had ever taken. It was also the last one before…” I finished softly, a lump rising in my throat .

Cal raked his eyes over my face slowly, the warmth there heating my blood. “You never told me their names.”

“Everett and Alice. Did I ever tell you they were high school sweethearts?” Cal shook his head, continuing to assess me with that penetrating look of his. “Gran said it was like they were ripped right out of a John Hughes movie. Dad was a running back on the football team, had a full ride to Oklahoma State, and was apparently a bit of a bully at times.” Cal breathed out a small laugh that had me narrowing my eyes at him as I bit back my smile.

“Now why does that sound familiar?” he muttered under his breath, and I bumped his shoulder.

“Shut up,” I said lightly. “Anyway, he met my mom in an honors class they shared and the way he told it, it was love at first sight. She was a shy, sweet overachiever and dad couldn't help himself.”

“Let me guess, he pulled the classic “pick on you 'cause I like you” bit?” Cal smirked at me.

“Recognize it from experience?” I retorted.

“Don't know what you're talking about. I've never been a bully before. I'm straight up delightful.”

“I'm going to have to ask you to take two giant steps back from me.”

“What for?”

“Just don't want to get hit when you get struck down by lightning.”

Cal shoved me playfully, chuckling and going back to perusing the rest of the pictures. When his gaze swept across one in the bottom corner, he fell silent again and an odd look twisted his features.

“That was my senior prom,” I murmured, feeling weirdly self-conscious with how intently he was studying the photo.

“So that would make this Connor next to you?” Cal asked, a slight growl in his voice. “Who's the chick standing next to him?”

Heat crept up my neck and I resisted telling him the truth, knowing how it would sound to him. All these years later and it still didn't sound great to me either. “Um, that was his date, Sloane. He thought it was a good idea so we didn't draw too much attention to ourselves that night.”

Cal remained silent, but I saw the tension in his shoulders and the tiniest tick in his jaw. He probably was thinking about how pathetic I had been to agree to that, considering Connor and I had been fooling around all senior year at that point. “I mean, I know it sounds stupid now, but at the time we really thought it was the better option, so people didn't catch onto us,” I rushed out, feeling the need to defend my clueless teenage self.

He whipped around, so close to me that I could feel the warmth radiating from his muscular form. His brows pinched together and he slowly shook his head. “He was wrong, Rhys. You were the better option.”

My stomach flipped and I swallowed roughly past the emotion that single comment sparked. He couldn't have known just how much those words pierced right through me. I had struggled so much that night with wanting to trust that Connor had my best interests at heart while also feeling like a dirty secret he kept in the closet he hid in. I didn't get to respond since Cal stepped around me into the guest room, leaving me to follow.

Cal appraised the room with a nod, throwing his bag on the bed and plopping down next to it. “This is nice. Reminds me of how cozy your place is.”

I hummed in agreement, standing around awkwardly. “It is. So tomorrow we can just take it easy, hang out around here for the day if you want, but I thought we could go to the Lighting of the Square festival in the evening. It's a big deal around here and I think you'll like it,” I suggested.

He leaned back on his hands, abs visible under his tight t-shirt and beckoning me to take him in. Those blasted gray sweatpants he always wore did nothing to hide his impressive length, and I idly wished I could make out that silver barbell I remembered all too well. The memory of it on my tongue made saliva pool in my mouth, and I could feel my cheeks flood with heat. Good grief, he was stunning. From the way Cal's gaze darkened slightly, I'd bet good money that he knew exactly where my thoughts had strayed.

He stood up, taking slow steps toward me as if I'd be spooked into running. In his defense, that was still a likely scenario. Every inch he drew closer, my body reacted to his increasing proximity. The heat in my face drained down my neck, my pulse jumping as my cock plumped up in anticipation. Cal stopped when we were toe to toe, and it took all my strength not to reach out to him, drawn in by his presence. My eyes pinged between those ocean blue and forest green orbs of his, my mind a war of contradictions .

I wanted space to think as much as I wanted him to erase every molecule of it between us. I found it hard to breathe when he wasn't close by, but he stole my air just being near me. I needed to keep the boundaries I erected for us, yet I yearned for him to tear down any barrier keeping us apart.

I didn't know if I had imagined it, but his eyes reflected the same battle I felt inside. Maybe it was pointless for us to keep fighting the pull that was always there, always taunting us. If we gave in, we would undoubtedly spin out of control and crash together, but what a beautiful mess we'd make.

I took in a shaky breath, steadying myself against the storm he stirred in me. “S-so, would you want to? Go to the lighting tomorrow, I mean.”

His tongue licked across his bottom lip, instantly drawing my attention to it. “Sounds like a plan,” he said in a husky timbre. That tone was a warning shot fired across my bow, jolting me out of the hazy desire that was setting in. This wasn't good.

I needed air.

I needed space.

God, I needed him .

“Okay, awesome. Great. That's—yep. Sounds good,” I sputtered like a moron. “Uh, so I'm gonna go shower and get unpacked. Then we can hang out with Gran until dinner. See you in a bit.”

I spun on my heel and darted from the room, not waiting for his answer. I had to leave before I did something really idiotic, like climb him like a tree and suck those stupid sexy lips off his face. Experts would agree that would be a terribly poor decision on my part. My head was spinning from an unfortunate lack of oxygen brought on by that space-invading, sanity-stealing, six foot tall sex machine. My dick was pressing uncomfortably against my jeans and I thanked all the Heavens that he hadn't noticed.

I locked myself in my bathroom and let the hot water spill over me, washing away the remnants of lust that permeated my body from being so close to him. I tried to distract myself with ideas for the week, things we could do while we were here. But those ideas hopelessly morphed into things we could do that didn't involve clothes.

I groaned in frustration, knocking my head against the tile rhythmically in a futile effort to clear out all thoughts of us naked together. I was beginning to wonder if it was even possible for me to resist Cal and that magnetic pull for the next five days.

Even worse, I didn't think I wanted to resist him anymore.