Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

Reid

Sophie had done well on her own at the bar. I’d been a little worried about her, so I’d kept one eye tracking her as she moved around, but she’d held her own. She wasn’t nearly as awkward socially as she worried she was. I’d wanted to intervene when she spoke to Jamie, but then I’d seen Jamie walk away so she hadn’t completely charmed Sophie, which was satisfying. Jamie would fuck anyone and everyone and she didn’t care who she hurt. She was a menace and one of these days she wouldn’t be able to talk her way out of trouble. I just hoped I’d be around to see her get some consequences for her shitty behavior.

The urge to protect sweet Sophie from people like that was strong, and I didn’t know where it came from. I was absolutely taking this mentor situation way too seriously. Sophie was a grown adult. She didn’t need me to babysit her. Sophie was smart. She could get herself out of a situation if she needed to.

That night when I arrived home there was something hanging from my doorknob. Wary, I pulled the bag off and looked inside, hoping it wasn’t something awful.

It was a single cupcake with a sticky note on it.

So you can have something sweet at the end of your shift.

-Sophie

She must have hung it out here a long time ago.

I couldn’t help but smile, even though my face ached from keeping one on during my shift.

I wanted to send her a message and thank her, but she was asleep like a normal person and I didn’t want to wake her up. Besides, I was going to see her tomorrow. I could thank her then.

After my shower, I got in bed with a new chapter of my current favorite fanfic and the cupcake. Not a bad way to end my shift at all.

Usually when I asked my friends to go on a walk or a hike with me, they always agreed, but reluctantly. When Sophie opened up her door, she flashed me a bright smile as I took in her leggings, tank and spring jacket along with her crossbody bag. She had a cap on her head with her ponytail pulled through the back of it.

In short, she was ready.

“Do I look like a hiker?” she asked, posing.

“You do,” I said. “I’m impressed.”

She was so adorable.

I’d worn my favorite hiking boots and had a small backpack with supplies just in case. Even on an easy walk, you never knew what could happen. I always wanted to be prepared for emergencies when I went out in nature.

“Do you have water and snacks and your phone and your keys?” I asked as she started to pull her door shut.

She paused and thought for a second. “Yup. I have everything.”

Sophie jingled her keys and shut the door before zipping them into her bag.

“Shall we?”

She skipped down the stairs next to me, all bouncy energy. It was so strange that she didn’t annoy the shit out of me. People like her usually did.

“My car is this way,” I told her when we left the building. She swung her arms and looked up at the cloudless sky.

“This is the perfect day for it. I’ve been telling myself to get outside more often, so thank you for inviting me. How was the rest of your shift?”

We reached my car and I unlocked it and, at the last moment, opened the door for her. She grinned and slid into the passenger seat, settling in.

My car wasn’t anything to write home about and I kind of wished I’d cleaned it a little more before letting Sophie inside. Oh well. Couldn’t do anything about it now.

“It was fine, thankfully. I did witness a drunken breakup though. It was a disaster.” That had happened just after she’d left, and I’d almost wanted to send her a message to tell her to come back so she could watch.

“Ohhh, tell me,” she said, buckling her seatbelt.

I checked my mirrors and pulled out of my space while I told her about the couple I’d seen. One had taken a phone call and must have stepped outside and the girlfriend had stayed on the dance floor. Something had happened that I’d missed, but the other woman stormed back in and things got heated. There was screaming and everyone was watching, including us at the bar.

It was a whole scene.

“I wish I had popcorn,” Maddie had said in my ear.

“Ditto,” I’d agreed.

Sophie was enthralled by the story as I took us through the drive-thru coffee shop.

“What do you want?” I asked her, but she just leaned over me and yelled into the speaker. She was almost in my lap and I could smell her hair. I tried not to inhale too deeply, but it was difficult. She always smelled so good, and her warm weight was scrambling my brain. Fuck.

Sophie said something to me as she moved back to her seat, but there was roaring in my ears and I didn’t hear her.

Someone behind me honked and I pulled forward to the window as Sophie handed me her card and I passed it over to pay.

Once we had everything in the car, Sophie handed me my coffee and pulled out the chocolate croissant I’d ordered.

I reached to take it from her, but she pulled it back.

“Both hands on the wheel. I’ll feed you,” she said.

Was she serious? A quick glance while we were at a red light told me that she was serious.

“I take my duties as a co-pilot seriously. Your job is to get us there in one piece. My job is to make sure that you can do that.”

“Wow. You don’t mess around,” I said.

“My mother taught me right,” she said.

“I know,” I said before I could stop myself. Kaylee had been the same way anytime I’d driven us somewhere, and I’d done the same for her.

Shit.

“Right,” Sophie whispered.

I swallowed hard. “How is your mom?”

Sophie’s breath caught in surprise.

“She’s good. She finally retired.”

That was a shocker. “Really? I thought she’d never leave the school.”

Tina Love had been a school guidance counselor for decades and she’d absolutely adored her job. She claimed that she’d never retire, they’d just have to wheel her corpse into her office and she’d still see her students.

“Yeah, but she’s back to substitute teaching a few days a week,” Sophie said with a laugh. “She couldn’t handle being home all the time.”

“And your dad?”

“He’s still at the gas company, but he’s working in the office instead of doing deliveries. He hurt his back a few years ago and we all made him slow down so he didn’t do more damage. He’s happy though. He gets all the good gossip.”

I laughed. That was true. That man did love a good dish session. Whenever I’d seen him, he’d always wanted to know anything and everything I was doing.

I rubbed my hand over my chest where an old ache had flared up.

“How is… I mean. Never mind.” Sophie sipped her coffee and I reached for mine as I made it onto the highway.

“I’m guessing you were going to ask about my mom,” I said, my teeth grinding together at the mention of her. It wasn’t Sophie’s fault. She didn’t know what had happened in the years since I’d been with Kaylee.

“I finally went no-contact with her. She tried to get in touch with me via my aunt a little over three months ago. That was the last time.”

“Oh,” Sophie said on an exhale. “I’m so sorry it got to that point. That you needed to do that. But I’m guessing it was a good thing.”

Her words surprised me. A lot of people judged me for cutting off my mom. They said that she gave birth to me, so I owed her for that. Owed her for all the years she fed and clothed and housed me and took me to ballet and paid for my classes and costumes. As if I had a say in any of that. As if that somehow made up for the way that she’d treated me.

“It was a good thing,” I said, sounding defensive. I couldn’t help it, though. Hated having to justify putting myself first.

“If you ever want to talk about it, let me know. I can be a good listener.” She laughed a little.

“Thanks. I don’t like to talk or think about it. But I’ll let you know.”

We reached the exit for the trail and I took it, glad that Sophie hadn’t asked for more details.

Ten minutes later we were getting out of the car and I was checking to make sure I had everything I needed in my bag.

“You good?” I asked Sophie after she’d tossed our trash in a nearby can.

“Yup. Let’s go.”

She set off at a brisk pace and I joined her.

“This is so nice. It’s such a relief to not be in school right now. I mean, I have one class, but it doesn’t start until next week.” She made a face.

“What made you want to go to grad school?” I asked.

“Honestly? I don’t even know. Going out into the world sounded terrifying and I didn’t know what jobs I could get anyway with just a regular English degree so it seemed like the best option. I, um, still don’t really know what I want to do.” I glanced over at her as she cringed. “Is that bad?”

I stepped over a root in the middle of the path. “No, that’s not bad at all. Do you think I know what the hell I’m doing?”

“You seem like you do,” Sophie said.

I burst out laughing. “Soph, I have no fucking idea. I feel like my entire life was all planned for me. All set. It was so nice knowing exactly what I needed to do. Who I needed to be. And then I figured out I didn’t want to be that person and now I don’t know who the fuck I am.” The words burst out of me and I couldn’t stop them.

“I dropped out of school years ago and now I tend bar and I try not to plan anything except for maybe my fanfic and that’s only because I have to. Everything else is completely fucked.”

Sophie stopped walking. “Wait. What do you mean you plan your fanfic?” Shit. This is why I couldn’t just let myself talk. Then I said things that I couldn’t take back.

I didn’t stop. “Nothing. I meant planning my fanfic reading!” I was practically running as Sophie caught up with me.

“That’s not what you said, Reid. Slow down!”

Reluctantly, I did, but I couldn’t look at her.

“You write fanfic, don’t you?” she asked.

“No.”

I could hear the smile in Sophie’s voice. “You do and you don’t want anyone to know. Wait, have you sent me any of your fanfic and didn’t tell me?” Her voice was so excited. I stopped moving and Sophie turned toward me, her face all lit up and her eyes bright.

“Yes, I write fanfic. No, I haven’t sent you any of it. No, I won’t tell you my author name.”

Her mouth dropped open and she gasped. “Why not? Oh please, Reid. I bet it’s so good. I won’t tell you if I hate it. I promise. I mean, I won’t hate it so you don’t have to worry about that.”

Fuck. This was why I didn’t want her to know.

I groaned and looked up at the sky. A couple walking their dog came up behind us so we moved to the side so they could pass.

“Reid?” Sophie asked. “Are you okay?”

Not really. My secret was out, and I didn’t like it.

She touched my arm moving her fingers up and down in a soothing motion. The heat of her finger seeped through my jacket.

“Hey. I won’t bug you about it. I just got excited. I’ve never known someone in real life who wrote fanfic. I think it’s pretty amazing. I mean, I only write shit for school.” Her face turned scarlet, and I seized on that.

“Why not?” I asked.

She ducked her head and the heat wasn’t on me anymore. Thank the stars.

“I just…I don’t know. I never know what to write about if I don’t have someone telling me what to write. I know how that sounds. Like I need permission or something but it’s really that I’m not creative. I always think I’ve got this great idea and then I start writing it and it feels like something I already read, or I hit a part and don’t know how to continue and I just… stall out. I’ve never written more than a few chapters of anything. People who manage to finish writing whole books are like magic to me. I don’t know how they do it.” She shook her head.

I looked around and saw a rock that we could both sit on, so I walked toward it and sat. Sophie joined me.

“It’s…it’s one of the only things that I really like doing. I know how that sounds, but it’s true. My mind wanders a lot during work, so I have a lot of time to just kind of drift. And I guess it just kind of happened that I’d be imagining scenarios from some of my favorite shows. I mean, I’d read fanfic for years, but I didn’t have the confidence to actually write any of my own for a while. I’m not even sure if I’m good, or if I just happen to pick the right tropes and give my readers exactly what they’re expecting. Like, it wouldn’t matter if the writing was trash as long as one of them got injured and the other one said, ‘who did this to you?’ and then there was only one bed while they tended to their wounds.”

She giggled. “I would definitely read that fic, I don’t even care. I love all of that.”

I pointed at her. “Exactly! It doesn’t matter if the mechanics of the sentences are good as long as the vibes and tropes are there. Which can be a good thing, I guess. And I’m not getting paid, so it doesn’t matter in the long run if my grammar fucking sucks.”

A few more people passed us as we sat on the rock together.

“You know, I have a pretty good eye for grammar and typos. In case you need help with that. I would be happy to offer my services.”

I turned, raising my eyebrows. “Is that just a ploy to get a look at my fanfic?”

She grinned and the sunlight sparkled on the blonde strands of her hair. Her eyes really were spectacular. I bet she got complimented on them all the time. If I wasn’t careful, I’d dive headfirst into them and not come up for air.

“Maybe. But for real, Reid. I want to get a job in publishing, and it would be a good chance to get some practice working with a writer to see if editing might be something I’d want to do. It could be payment for giving me sapphic dating lessons.”

I did want to improve my fanfic. Readers were kind, but there were always a few who would get salty about typos. Like I wasn’t just a human with a keyboard who was writing all this shit FOR FREE. But Sophie’s offer was tempting. I knew she was smart as hell, so she could definitely whip my commas and sentences into shape.

She’d have to read my work to do that, though.

“Can I think about it?” I asked her. I wasn’t ready to hand over my work yet.

Technically, I had known Sophie since we were both teenagers, but trusting her with this was a big ask.

“Yeah, of course. It was just an idea. Don’t worry about it. I mean, I know I worry about everything, but you shouldn’t.” She bumped her shoulder with mine and then stood up, holding her hands out to me.

“Come on, let’s keep going.”

Setting my hands in hers, I let her pull me to my feet. Our touch lingered for a few seconds before I dropped her hands and started walking again.

The trail led through the woods to the top of a hill and a little lookout where people took pictures and rested before heading back to the trailhead.

Sophie and I sat down on the waterproof blanket I had stashed in my pack and pulled out snacks we’d brought.

“You come prepared,” Sophie said when I had to dig through my pack to find the bag of trail mix I’d packed.

“I try to. Anything can happen on a hike. I refuse to be that person on the news that got lost and then was found a few feet from the trail a day later. I couldn’t handle the embarrassment.” I opened the bag and held it out to her. She reached her hand in and grabbed some.

“Oh my god, yeah. I get that. Well, if you ever need a hiking buddy, I’m game. I’m not experienced or anything, but I’m absolutely up for it.” She munched on a chocolate candy and lay back on the blanket, closing her eyes. I had to stop myself from watching her too intently. It was hard, though. She was so gorgeous.

When I looked at her now, I didn’t see another version of Kaylee. I only saw Sophie. She was her own person and she was beautiful.

Her lips curved in a smile. “I can feel you staring.” She didn’t open her eyes though.

“You had a bug on your face,” I said, and that made her scream and sit up, swiping at her face.

I threw my head back and laughed.

Sophie realized I’d been kidding and sat back down. “Asshole.”

She shoved me, but she was laughing along with me.

Sophie sat next to me and bit her bottom lip. Shit, it was hard to look at her when she did that. Made me want to bite that lip for her.

“I am an asshole. You know that.”

Sophie pulled her legs up and set her chin on her knees. “I don’t think you’re as much of an asshole as you want people to think you are. And you’re not an asshole at Sapph.”

I made a face. “Don’t remind me. I swear I have to unscrew my smile every night when I’m done. Makes me not want to make a facial expression again for at least a week.”

“So why do you do it? If you hate it. Because it kind of seems like you hate it.”

My response was instant. “I don’t hate it. It’s just…hard sometimes. But I make decent money. And I’m good at it. Mixing drinks isn’t the bad part. It’s the customers.”

Sophie snorted. “Yeah, a bar that made drinks without customers to drink them probably wouldn’t be very successful.”

“No, it wouldn’t be.”

Voices made me turn and look over my shoulder. A family joined us on the top of the hill, the parents ordering the kids to get together so they could take pictures. It was sweet. I couldn’t remember the last picture I’d taken with my mother. It had probably been one of the posed shots they took at the dance studio when I’d been wearing one of my dozens of costumes. No idea what my mother had done with them.

“But if you really want to do something else, you could,” Sophie said, bringing me back to the conversation at hand.

Normally I’d snap at her and tell her to leave me alone. That I knew that I could do something else. That I was fine working at Sapph.

“I’m not qualified to do anything,” I said instead.

“You were a dancer for a long time,” she pointed out, her voice so gentle.

“I’ve thought about that a million times. And it all comes back to the fact that I’d have to see kids going through the same thing I did. With parents that forced them and made them miserable. And I couldn’t do it. I teach one baby ballet class sometimes and that’s all I can do. Because they’re so young that there isn’t as much pressure. There’s some, but you can’t really make a four-year-old into a professional dancer no matter what you do. But if I had to teach older kids? No. I couldn’t handle it.”

Sophie seemed to think about that for a long time.

“That makes complete sense.”

I nodded. “Thank you. I can’t seem to make other people see it that way. I never did anything else, Soph. Never had any ambitions. I just… I danced. That was my life. And now I have nothing.”

Sophie moved closer and put her arm around me, resting her head gently on my shoulder.

That was the second time she’d touched me today and I should be pushing her away. People touching me nearly always felt like an invasion.

Except I wasn’t pushing her away. I was sitting here and letting her lean on me and smelling her scent and feeling her warmth light up the right side of my body and her arm across my back.

Having her this close was a bad idea. I liked it far too much. I liked her far too much.

“You have so much, Reid,” she said, settling even closer. Her fingers squeezed my shoulder. “If you ever want to sit down and brainstorm, I’m at your disposal. If you want to sit around the apartment and get totally wasted and complain about life and how we don’t know what we’re doing, I’m up for that too. I just…you’re my friend, Reid. I want us to be able to talk to each other. You’ve done a lot for me. I only want to be a good friend to you in return.”

Fuck, she was going to kill me. I hadn’t met anyone quite like her.

“You are a good friend, Sophie. You’re an incredibly good friend.” I almost felt spoiled having her to myself. She had Larison, but I knew her anxiety sometimes held her back from making more friends.

“Thanks. That’s one of the nicest things anyone has ever said to me.”

I snorted. “Then I should compliment you more often.”

Her smile curved against my shoulder. “I like that idea.”

The two of us stayed like that for a while. Until the sun had moved higher in the sky and it was time to go back to the car. Plus, I had to pee, and I was not squatting in the woods even if I had supplies. Not if I could avoid it.

Sophie and I made it back to the car and she sighed happily when she sat down in the passenger seat.

“It’s wild how walking so much can make you tired.” She hid a yawn behind her hand. “I’m sorry.”

I waited for another car to leave before I backed out. “What would you say if I ordered some pizza and we sat on my couch and ate it while we watched something?” I was being reckless, spending this much time with her, but I couldn’t help it. I craved her. Being around Sophie was just…good. Things were better when she was there. When I could talk to her and ask her opinion.

“I would say that sounds like an amazing idea, as long as the pizza has all the toppings on it.”

I made a disgusted face. “Even olives?”

“Just give all your olives to me,” she said, turning her head and grinning. She was so pretty in that moment with the late afternoon sun streaming through the windows and gilding her in golden light. She could have anything she wanted in that moment.

“You can have all my olives in perpetuity. I can’t stand them.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said, bracing her elbow on the door and leaning her head against her hand.