Chapter 37

Sen

I had to admit that it was a little weird meeting Kai's dad, Eli. He was kind and reminded me so much of him, but I knew that I would never see as much of him as I wanted to. Parts of him were gradually going missing and only existed in other people's memories now. At least they had a lot of good ones. Or maybe that made it harder.

Now, Eli sat on the couch with a soft smile on his face while Kai and West bickered over something I'd tuned out of a while ago.

My mind had been wandering the entire week I'd been here. As much as I hated it, I wondered what my parents were doing, if they were enjoying Christmas. And the fact that I wanted to call them made me feel sick inside. I wondered if they were having as hard of a time as I was. Their son poured his heart out and they stomped on it. How could a parent treat their child, the person they were supposed to love unconditionally, with such cruelty?

Arms came around me from behind and I smelled his familiar juniper scent. "Hey. You look lost in your head."

"I'm okay," I assured him.

"You don't have to put on a brave face for me, but if that's what you wanna do, that's okay too."

I breathed a laugh and met Savannah's eyes. "Did you make him like this or was he just born perfect?"

She looked at Kai with all the fondness in the world. "Mostly his dad, if I'm being honest."

Eli was staring off into the distance. There'd been moments of clarity while I'd been here, but there were even more like this.

"Here."

Kai dropped a wrapped rectangle into my lap, clipping my dick and making me elbow him. He chuckled and moved to my side to watch me open it. I felt a little awkward as I tried to rip the paper.

"How much tape is on this thing?"

Willow snickered beside West. If I'd known there were two of them, I would've taken adequate time to prepare. Who was I kidding? There was no way to prepare for either of them. I felt like I needed a rundown of their entire backstory. From the little I'd heard, it was a bit of a rollercoaster.

When I finally broke through the packaging, my fingers ached. I balled up the paper and threw it at West's head while he wasn't looking. Before a war could start, I focused on the book in my hands. The cover was a deep shade of red- my favorite- and the lettering was black with gold trim.

Seneca Taylor for Dummies.

I was torn between laughing and melting into a puddle of goo on the floor.

"What is this?" I asked.

"That's a mystery that can easily be solved by opening it."

When I flipped it open, I saw a dedication page.

You once told me that you didn't understand why I like you. That replayed in my mind every day and I thought about it when I went to sleep. Now that I've fallen in love with you, I can make sure you never have those doubts again.

I love you, Seneca Taylor. You're not allowed to forget it.

Apparently, goo was the only option today. As I flipped through the pages, I saw the same words from Kai's texts while I was at my parents. All of the reasons he loved me. And there were a hell of a lot of them.

Following those pages were ones identifying his favorite moments with me. He had freaking dates attached to them. There were pictures, some of which I didn't even know he'd taken. One was of me sleeping. I shot him a glare and he just bit his lip, unable to hide his smile.

On the last page, instead of saying The End, it said, "And more, and more, and more."

When he'd said that the first time, it pushed me a little closer to falling in love with him. Now those words meant everything to me.

"You're incredible, Kai. You know that, right?"

He shrugged. "Oh, there's a keychain."

He shifted things around under the tree until he found a tiny wrapped object. Thankfully, this one wasn't taped to withstand a nuclear explosion. The keychain was an exact replica of the book, just much smaller and it didn't open.

"There's a QR code on the back," he explained, flipping it over. "And if you scan it with your phone, it pulls up the ebook."

My eyes got cloudy as I stared at him. "Thank you."

With a grin, he cupped my face and leaned in to kiss me. There was a flash that made us pull apart. He glared at his mom who made an ‘oops' face.

"I need pictures of you two. Dad will love to look at them."

"Fine," Kai grumbled. "You get five pictures."

"Twenty."

He dropped his head dramatically into my lap. "This is purgatory. I knew it."

*****

It was our last day in Maine and the air had felt heavy since we woke up. I felt sad about it too. It had only been two and a half weeks, but I'd come to love Savannah and Eli. When he had his good days, he was funny and full of the same liveliness I saw in Kai. They told me that I always had a place there and I knew that they meant it. For these brief weeks, it felt like I had a home again. A family.

The nurse said that Eli was doing well today, which could mean a lot of things. We'd be able to say goodbye, but it was unlikely he'd know why we were leaving or what exactly was going on.

It was as cold as the ninth circle of hell outside, but it was where Eli was sitting. He was on the outdoor couch with a blanket and he was wearing a beanie. When we got closer, I realized it was a Harmon University one with the number 43 on it, but it looked old.

"Got your lucky number on," Kai noted, pulling a chair closer so that he could sit in front of his dad.

Eli focused on him and for a moment, his brow furrowed. He blinked a couple of times, then broke into a wide smile.

"It's your lucky number now." He lifted his hand to show Kai a printed picture of him on the field at the university.

"Yeah, it is. Had to beg them for that number and pull the sick dad card."

Eli laughed, his green eyes lighting up. "Will your boyfriend be wearing your jersey in the stands? Uh, I'm so sorry. I forgot your name."

"Sen," I said, stepping closer.

He held out his hand and I took it firmly. "I know we've met, but I think I feel a little more like me today."

"I'm happy to do it again. And yeah, I'll be at every single game."

"Good, good. You're a wonderful man and I don't think that I need to give you the dad speech."

"God, please don't," Kai groaned.

"Listen here, you little shit." Eli pointed a serious finger at him, but just like his son, he couldn't hide when he was amused. "We never know what tomorrow holds, so I have to make sure I'm entrusting you to the right man."

"Sen is the right man."

"I believe you, but no getting married until you're at least twenty-five. Studies show it's less likely to lead to divorce."

I stared down at my feet as I laughed. Kai leaned forward and took his dad's hand, so I squeezed his shoulder and nodded toward the house. Once I was inside, I headed down the hall to make sure we'd packed everything. I stopped beside his parents' door when I heard the distinct sound of crying.

It could be an invasion of privacy, but I inched the door open anyway. "Savannah?"

She sniffled and cleared her throat. "Sen, I'm sorry. I, uh, just need a minute."

I pushed the door open enough so that I could see her. She was sitting on the edge of the bed, red eyed and with tears drying on her cheeks.

"Can I come in?"

She hesitated before she nodded. "Is Kai still outside?"

"Yeah. He's talking to his dad."

"Good. I'm glad Eli's feeling okay today. I would've hated for Kai to leave without getting a proper goodbye."

"Yeah, this is something he needs. But why aren't you happy?"

"I am. I…" She blew out a shuddering breath. "It gets lonely, you know? My husband isn't always my husband. Not really. I don't want Kai here," she added quickly. "Neither does Eli. But these three weeks made me so happy that I guess I'm coming down from that high."

"Does Kai know how hard this is for you?"

"He does and he's begged me to let him come home nearly every day since he left, but he needs to be there."

"He could go to school closer to home."

She shook her head. "Both of their scholarships are at Harmon. This is what Kai needs. He's spent his entire life preparing for his father to forget him, to lose thousands of memories they made together, and to die. When your best memories are with someone who can no longer share them with you, it wears you down, and he's already spent seventeen years watching it progress. Every day, the first thing he wanted to do was say good morning to his dad so he'd know if he was getting worse. I want him to keep the good, otherwise, he'll be drowned by the years watching him fade and what good would it do?"

"But that's what's happening to you."

With a rueful smile, she stood and took my hands. "In sickness and in health, Sen. It's natural for your parents to age and die. That doesn't mean you can stop living. We move on while our kids keep going, then the cycle continues. Death isn't bad; it's just the process that causes us pain."

"You said he gets his personality from his dad," I noted. "But that just sounded a lot like something Kai would say."

"Well, something has to balance out his dad's chaos. I'm sure you've seen the extremely over exuberant side of Kai. That's Eli's influence."

We both laughed as we went into the hallway. When we passed West's room, I heard a hushed conversation. I peeked in and saw him on the phone, waving his hands like he was frustrated.

"Whatever. In six months, you're gone, and I can't wait."

I was nosey enough to consider checking on him, but I let Savannah pull me into the kitchen. My eyes were wide as I watched her load up enough snacks to feed the entire football team. I was pretty sure ninety percent of it was for West.