Chapter 35

Sen

West grinned as he jogged toward me. "In the flesh."

When he reached me, he took my face between his hands and stared into my eyes intently. His gaze traveled down, then back up.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Making sure you're in one piece. I drove all night to get here because Kai would kill me if I didn't deliver you safely."

"He sent you?"

"No. But he's almost to the point of jumping on a plane to kidnap you, so you should be glad I came. He may not show it, but when someone he loves gets hurt, he'll make sure the asshole gets what's coming to them."

My gaze traveled to the car in the driveway. "I thought you didn't drive."

He snorted. "I drive." Pausing at the front door, he looked back at me. "I'm just not allowed."

"Why?"

With a conspiratorial wink, he pushed on the handle. Everything came crashing back in- my family, the intervention, my decision to confront them. Now, West was here. I didn't know if that would make it better or worse, but we were going to find out because he was already inside.

Loud voices carried from the living room. I followed a little behind West until we turned the corner.

"He's going back to Dumont," my dad said to Dale. "I'm not letting him go back to the damn school with that fa-"

"With what?" I asked.

Wide eyes met mine. When my dad saw West, his face contorted with anger.

"Who the hell is this?"

West stepped forward and held out a hand. "West. Also known as Weston. Also recently known as the savior of wayward boy toys. But West is fine."

"This is your friend from Seattle?"

"Yeah," I replied. "And you were just about to call his best friend something disgusting, I assume."

"Wanna finish that sentence?" West asked.

My dad closed the distance between us. When he tried to grab my arm, West stepped into his path, which just made him look more pissed off.

"Did you watch my video?" West asked, angling his head a little over his shoulder.

Anger flared inside of me again. I pulled up the video, which was paused on Travis' face. Holding it up to my dad, I watched for a reaction, but there was none.

"Travis McKinney," I reminded him. "We were at camp Dumont together. He killed himself, remember?"

He blinked slowly, then set his jaw. "You don't know what you're talking about."

"Bullshit."

"You were confused and felt guilty."

West whistled. "I do love a good gaslighting attempt. However, I've been driving for twenty hours and I'd really like to get some Taco Bell on our way out of this place. Come on, Sen."

"You're not leaving," Dad stated firmly.

"I am," I said through the lump in my throat.

"Please," Mom cried. There were already tears streaming down her cheeks. "You're supposed to be here for Christmas."

"I can't be here. Look around you. Nobody wants me here and I can't pretend anymore."

"You're confused. Let us help you."

"Is your stuff packed?" West asked.

"Yeah, I never unpacked."

"I'll grab it."

He disappeared, leaving me alone with my family. I wished he hadn't, but I still needed to do this. That didn't change just because he'd come to save me. Maybe it'd be a sort of closure and help me let go.

"I'm gay," I announced loud enough for everyone to hear.

My grandma covered her face with her hands while my aunt and uncle looked uncomfortable. More tears streamed from my mom's face and my dad… he was angry. Was he always this angry when I was growing up? I must've learned to overlook it. Or it could be why I stayed in my room so much playing video games and reading.

"My boyfriend's name is Kai," I went on. "And I love him." Nodding slowly, I felt a tear slide down my cheek. "I love him, Dad, Mom. And I know it isn't what you want for me, but I can't change who I am and it hurts when you try to make me. Kai is incredible and I know you would love him if you just-"

My hands hit the floor before I felt the sharp throb in my cheek. My mom called my dad's name, but it sounded distorted. My left ear was ringing and when I managed to focus my eyes, I saw blood on the wood floor.

I looked up at him with a mixture of anger and fear warring in my head. Grabbing onto the wall, I got to my feet.

"Stop this right now," he demanded, seething. "Apologize to your mom and grandma. Look how much you've upset them."

I shook my head. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop my lip from quivering.

"Fuck you." I enunciated each syllable, leaning a little closer.

He hit me again and I stumbled into the wall. There was blood in my mouth, which dripped onto the ground. I'd never been hit like that before outside of being tackled in football. My entire life, I steered clear of fights. The first person to punch me in the face was my father and for some reason, that made me laugh.

"Fuck you," I repeated. "If you don't want me, then that's fine. I'm leaving."

He lunged forward and grabbed my arms, but was wrenched away. West sent him stumbling backward into the couch. He barely managed to regain his balance without falling. Still angry, my dad turned his assault on West. I thought he'd dodge or catch his fist midair, but he took a solid hit to the cheek. It knocked him off balance, but he stayed standing.

"Get out of my house," Dad demanded. "And leave my son alone."

When West didn't move, he got hit again. I moved toward him, but he shook his head.

"No, it's fine. I can take a punch." He stepped closer to my dad, challenging him. "I have a dad who likes to rearrange my face too. If you think you're any better than that asshole, you're wrong. What you've done to this precious fucker right here," he gestured toward me, "is unforgiveable. My best friend loves him so much. I've never seen him so damn happy and let me tell you something."

He took another step and my dad backed up this time. The anger was still apparent on his face, but I saw the slight tremble in his hands.

"If Kai was here, he'd defend Sen with his life, which any sane parent would be happy about. So go ahead, pops. Hit me because you sure as hell aren't getting to him."

West eyed him for another moment before he turned to me. His fingers grazed over the tender part of my cheek as he frowned.

"It's okay," I assured him.

"Kai is gonna be pissed."

The thought brought a smile to my face. I remembered his intensity when he told me he was going to talk to Derek. I'd never had that sort of protection before.

As we walked out the door, I heard my mom wail. I hated the sound of it, but she had choices here too. If she wanted me in her life, she'd have to accept me, just like the others would. And it would take a lot for me to forgive everything that happened.

"How'd you know about Travis?" I asked as West dropped my suitcase into the trunk.

"Kai was looking into those conversion people and saw a picture of your group from 2017. He was gonna tell you, but I thought it would help just in case you weren't ready to leave when I pulled up. Something to push you the rest of the way."

"I don't understand why they lied. Why say that he killed himself?"

"Because their entire model is built on fear tactics. Trav is an openly gay major league baseball player now and he's spoken about what he went through as a teenager. It's why he blew up online. His dad pulled him out of camp, I'm assuming after what happened with you guys, and he ended up accepting that Trav was gay. He was lucky."

He really was. I wished I would have known he was alive. There wasn't anything I could have done, but if we'd stayed in contact somehow, maybe I wouldn't have let my dad and Dumont screw with my head so much. Or not. I'd never know.

"Hey, why aren't you allowed to drive?"

He twirled the keys around his finger. "DUI."

I held my hand out and he frowned. When I shook it insistently, he rolled his eyes and passed them over.

"I'm a good driver," he muttered.

"If you got pulled over on your way here, you'd be screwed."

"Good thing I didn't get pulled over."

It felt surreal to back out of the driveway. I'd grown up in this house. It marked my birth and everything that happened after, all the way through today. Would I make any more memories here in the future or was this the last time I'd see it?

My dad pulled the curtains closed, blocking my view of everyone inside.

It was silent for a while, only the sound of West's bass-heavy music and tires on asphalt. When I pulled onto the freeway, I let myself voice the concerns that had been swirling around inside my mind.

"I feel like I don't deserve him."

"Why would you say that?"

I licked my lips and thought about those sweet texts he'd been sending. "It took me so long to do this. I asked him to stop being who he is, to hide, just because I was scared. Someone like him should never be hidden from the world."

West drummed his fingers on his thighs. "It has nothing to do with him deserving better than you. It's about him deserving better from you. And you deserve better from yourself too, Sen. He won't ask you to come out for him, but I will."

"I want to. I don't really know how or if I'm brave enough."

"You have, like, thirty hours to figure it out if we take turns driving."

"You can't drive."

"It's fine. Kai let me on the way to Seattle when we were in the middle of nowhere."

I didn't like the idea, but the alternative was stopping to sleep. At this point, I was desperate to see Kai. There were still a lot of miles between now and then, which gave me time to figure out what I was going to do.

Come out for Kai. That was simple. What I hadn't thought about up until now was that it was also for me. That sort of felt like the missing piece to this whole thing.

My phone buzzed and I quickly glanced at it.

Kai:Reason I love you #3: If I say ‘that ass' is it still romantic?