20. Chapter 20

Chapter twenty

Sammy

I can't sleep. My bed is too big. Too cold. Too empty. And I'm far too busy feeling sorry for myself. I'm such a dramatic bitch. Of course Blue isn't going to want to stay mated to me. Why would he? He never chose me. It has all been nothing more than a stupid accident.

I always knew this was nothing more than a brief interlude in my shitty life. A short, yet glorious reprieve from the constant drudgery. There is no need to cry about it. Not that I am, thank heavens. My face and pillow are dry. Possibly because I'm far beyond tears. This hurt has hurtled past that stage and straight to dried-out husk mode.

"What are you looking at?" I snap at the perfect ceiling, that seems to glare down at me condescendingly.

Fuck this. I might as well get up and go make a cup of tea or something. If my hands have something to do, it might distract me for a bit.

Sighing heavily, I heave myself out of bed and pull my pink fluffy robe on. Then I tiptoe carefully down the unlit hallway even though this is a house full of paranormals, so three a.m. doesn't necessarily mean everyone is asleep.

The kitchen is dark and empty. I flick the light switch and wince as the fluorescent light buzzes and flickers to life .

The coffee machine tries to tempt me, but I ignore it and head for Pink's tea cupboard instead. He must have chamomile tea. I need something to help me sleep.

I find a bright yellow box amongst Pink's collection and smile in triumph. A few minutes later, I'm sitting at the kitchen table, hands around a mug of chamomile tea, remembering how disgusting it is and why I never drink it.

Well, at least making it killed a whole five minutes. Only another three hours of the night to go. But it's not like I have anything to do in the morning either. Just more endless hours to kill.

"You look like shit," says Ned as he glides silently into the kitchen.

I jump a little at his sudden appearance and flip him the finger, but lord am I happy to see him. Company is exactly what I need.

He heads for the coffee machine. "Do you want one?"

Oh balls. I'm not a vampire with a crazy sleep schedule or a freaky metabolism. Coffee at three a.m. when I want to go to sleep is a terrible idea.

"Yes please," I say.

Because sod it. You only live once and all that. Though, given that I'm in the presence of a vampire right now, it's probably time to acknowledge that saying isn't necessarily true.

Ned gives me a nod and gets to work. Soon I have a steaming cup of joyous coffee next to my mug of abhorrent herbal tea.

Ned slides into the chair across from me and sips his coffee. Thank fuck he is not disappearing back to his room, or wherever he emerged from.

"So what's got your knickers in a twist then?" he snaps.

I grin at him. I've been around enough dangerous and nasty men to know when I'm in a room with one, and Ned ain't one. He is all bark and no bite. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that beneath that grump exterior, he is a pure squishy marshmallow.

"Maybe it was having a vampire creep up on me in the middle of the night?" I tease .

Ned glares at me until I relent.

"Fine, I'm moping about Blue."

The vampire raises one dark eyebrow. "Why? Jade found the right enchantment. We'll have that bond off you in a day or two."

My breath hisses out of me. "Maybe I don't want that."

Ned's eyes widen. Shit. Why did I say that? My brain to mouth filter is so fucking faulty sometimes. I really don't need to be confessing everything right now.

"You two?" exclaims Ned. "Ridiculous idea!"

Indignation prickles along my skin. "Why?"

Ned barks out a laugh. "You're a sex worker and Blue is…" He trails off and waves his hand in the air. "Well, Blue."

I glare at the vampire. I'm too angry for words. I'm shaking. I feel sick.

Ned rolls his eyes. "Relax. I didn't mean that I think you are a dirty whore and Blue is too pure for you. I mean that presumably you have a high sex drive and Blue doesn't do sex. Voluntarily."

"I can live without sex!" I snap.

"Forever?" scoffs Ned. "You weren't in the harem, Sammy. You didn't see what he went through. It's not something you are going to be able to fix with your magic, all-healing cock. So leave him alone."

Ned slurps his coffee. My stomach twists into knots. How dare he. How dare he presume that stuff about me? I don't think I have a magic cock. Or a magic hole, since I have no idea what Blue's preference would be or if he would even have one. I don't care if Blue never wants to have sex. This stupid vampire really thinks I'm that shallow?

"Bite me, Indigo!" I snarl, because I'm all sorts of articulate when I'm angry.

Anger flushes Ned's face, and he stands up. He hates his harem name. He never accepted it and he hasn't reclaimed it like the others. And…oh shit. Did I just tell a vampire to bite me?

"You wouldn't taste very nice," says Ned .

And now I'm jumping to my feet. "I would!" I yell. "I'd taste bloody delicious!"

Ned chuckles, and I'm so flabbergasted that I'm lost for words again.

"I guess I'll never know, because right now you are still Blue's mate and I'm not having my head ripped off by an angry siren, thank you very much."

The vampire sits back down and sips his coffee. His anger seems to have melted away. As has mine. The mental image of Blue bursting into the kitchen and pulling Ned off of me, is immensely distracting. I know it is exactly what Blue would do if Ned bit me, and it would be so swoonworthy.

I sink back into my chair. My gaze flicks to Ned. Could I get him to bite me? It would just be a slightly different type of seduction, surely?

Ned lifts his coffee cup and narrows his eyes at me. I sigh in defeat. Getting Ned to bite me is a terrible idea. Even though I probably am that desperate for Blue's attention.

"You like him then?" Ned asks softly.

"Yeah," I sigh.

The vampire stares at me with his pretty dark eyes and I cave.

"I don't care about the sex stuff, I really don't. Penetrative sex is not oxygen, it's not essential. It's fine to go without, and the stuff we do is very satisfying."

Ned's eyes widen and my cheeks get all hot and prickly. Yeah, way to go with the over sharing, Sammy.

"But it doesn't matter!" I blurt. "Blue doesn't want me and that's fair enough."

"Do you know that for sure?"

"It's obvious," I sigh. "Who would want me? I'm a mess. I'm no good for anyone."

‘Sammy…" Ned starts to say and his hand reaches for mine, then his gaze flicks to the shadowy doorway. "Oh. Hi, Blue. "

I spin around just in time to see Blue striding into the kitchen, a frantic look in his beautiful eyes. The sight of him takes my breath away, but he ignores me and glares forcefully at Ned.

"Sammy, are you okay?" says Blue without even looking at me.

"I'm fine," I reassure him.

Blue walks right up to Ned. "You were angry and then upset," he says as he continues to talk to me while focusing on Ned.

Ned slowly gets to his feet. It's a calm, steady movement, but there is predator marked in every line of his body, and a clear, ‘back off'. Blue bristles in retaliation.

"Ned was taking the piss out of my favorite football team!" I blurt.

Blue turns to look at me in surprise. Ned grabs his coffee cup and strides towards the door. "I'm not dealing with this," he mutters.

And just like that, he is gone. Damn. Vampires can move fast when they want to.

Now I'm all alone with Blue. My throat tightens. He is not wet, which means he was in his bedroom, in the house. Not so far away from me, after all.

There is so much I could say to him. So much I could share. I could be brave and lay my heart on the table. But that has never done me any good before. Blue won't laugh or mock me. He won't pretend to feel the same so he can use me.

No, Blue would be devastatingly nice about it. Apologetic that he doesn't feel the same way. Then he'd check up on me often and want to talk about it. And that all sounds like a fate worse than death.

Especially because once this is all over, I want us still to be friends. I want that more than anything. And opening my big mouth will just ruin that and make things awkward and awful. So no. I'm staying quiet.

"I'm sorry I disturbed you. I'm going back to bed now!" I say.

And then I turn and flee like the coward that I am.