CHAPTER SIX Dirk

I waited and hid in the dense brush. My first thought was to head immediately back to the tower after meeting the very unpleasant stranger, but I had to admit, he fascinated me. He was the son of an elected official, my boss actually, and he was extremely handsome. The combo made me want to know more about him, but unfortunately, he was about as warm and cuddly as one of the local brown bears waking up from hibernation.

Once out of sight thirty minutes earlier, I'd kept pace by moving quietly alongside him, just far enough in the trees to not alert him to my steps as twigs crunched beneath my boots. I wished I had a chance to speak with him in a situation where he wasn't already angry about me being there or him needing a permit. The state forest at these elevations got infrequent visitors, with most of them being my peers, so the son of my superior was a welcome sight. An attractive man was an even better sight. I realized I'd been out of practice for far too long if I hid in the trees ogling a random dude on a hike.

I was attracted to men slighter than me, and with a preppy but outdoorsy look, Blake Jensen fit the bill to a T. The outdoors and men that appreciated it were my kryptonite. I'd spent my entire life in nature, enjoying the outdoors from when I was a toddler and my folks would pack us deep into the woods and we'd live off of the land for long periods of time. My parents were crunchy granola types; in fact, they lived in Fremont, a neighborhood within Seattle that many ex-hippies loved. Fremont was where you found quirky art, weird people, and a solstice tradition where people biked through the main business district completely naked, their body parts painted vibrant neon colors. I'd seen my first cock there when I was seven. It had been painted bright purple and was shriveled up, but it was dick and I was thrilled. I knew I was gay that day.

Blake took a break and a long draw out of a water bottle. It pleased me to see he'd at least packed drinking water. I was surprised when he sat down and put his head between his knees. His sadness was palpable from fifty yards away. However, the heart-wrenching sound he made when he screamed in agony shook me to my marrow. He tilted his head back and yelled profanities at the top of his lungs. I guess I'd gotten the pre-show in the parking space because this was angrier and wilder, with true pain coating every word in horrifying sorrow.

My heart ached for a man I knew was troubled by something. I could have thought he was basically just nuts, but he was too put together for that assessment. He was angry about something—that was clearly evident in his rude behavior—but he appeared to be put together as well. His overall demeanor tainted what I felt was a better man inside. But what could the anger be about?

He stood and leaned into a tree, his arms embracing the massive cedar, the substitute for something or someone, and he wailed. Pure, unadulterated agony ripped from his lungs. This man was wrecked. This man was destroyed by something bigger than his pain had an answer for.

I wanted to soothe that pain. That was who I was. I wanted love more than anything in the world, but love had not found me. I hid in the forest too. Just like the shell of a man mere yards away.