Chapter 8

Patty led a fully-clothed,thoroughly examined Rebecca back into Hunter's office. "Have a seat on the couch," she instructed. "After all the poking and prodding you've endured today, you deserve to be comfy."

"What? No massage chair?" Rebecca teased.

"Ellie was afraid Hunter would never be home if she put a massage chair in here."

"I don't think Ellie has anything to worry about," Rebecca chuckled. "She has Hunter wrapped around her pie-making finger."

"That she does," Hunter said from the doorway. "I wouldn't have it any other way." She nodded at Patty, closing the door behind the nurse as she was left alone with Rebecca. Hunter sat next to Rebecca on the couch, Rebecca's charts in her hands. "How are you feeling?"

"Thoroughly humiliated. When will you develop a less invasive way to do those examinations?"

Hunter grinned that charming, lopsided grin. "Believe me, if there's a way… Sumptor, Inc. will probably find it," she laughed. "Okay, I have some results here for you." Hunter opened the folder. "Your mammogram looks good. Nice and clear. Your pap and HPV results will be a few days, but according to Dr. Okoro's notes, your genitourinary exam was normal."

"Oh, good. A normal vagina. Cassidy will be happy to know that it's still good to go even after excessive use."

Hunter coughed, choking on her own spit. At least I wasn't drinking coffee. "Right, ahem, moving on." She heard Rebecca snicker and rolled her eyes. "Your labs look good. Your CBC shows you're slightly anemic, but we can help that by eating iron-rich food. Spinach, red meat, shellfish…"

"Hunter?" Rebecca interrupted.

"Hmm?"

"You said everything looked great. Normal boobs, normal vagina, good labs. But I know you. I know your tics. What are you not telling me?"

Hunter sighed. This is why they tell you not to treat your friends or family. They know you too well. And it was incredibly difficult to tell them bad news.

"You could have let me keep going, Becca." Hunter reached over to the coffee table and picked up her tablet. "There was something on your MRI that concerned me."

"A scar?" Rebecca asked softly, feeling a bit vulnerable and scared now. Part of her wished Cassidy was here. A huge part of her. She couldn't understand the apprehension on Hunter's face. "You were prepared for that, right?"

"I was, yes. But this isn't a scar, Becca. It's a tumor. Now, I know this sounds scary, but …"

Rebecca saw Hunter's lips moving but couldn't hear anything over the ringing in her ears. Tumor. A brain tumor. "C-cancer?"

Hunter shook her head. "I'm not saying it's cancer, Becca. In fact, a large percentage of brain tumors are benign."

"How can you find out? When? Can you do it now?"

"Slow down, Rebecca. Do you want me to call Cass? We can discuss…"

"No. I don't want to worry her unless there's something significant…"

"Rebecca, this is significant. Benign or not, a brain tumor is serious. We need to get you with a neurosurgeon to discuss options. And, Rebecca, you need Cass there with you. Hell, she should be with you now." Hunter took Rebecca's hand in hers. "I'm one of your best friends, but even I know I'm not enough to give you the strength you need. Cass is."

"I don't know how to tell her this, Hunter."

"Then I'll help you. Look, Becca, I can't tell you what to do, but I can ask you this. What would you do if Cass was in your position and she decided not to tell you? Would you want to punish her?"

"That's low, Hunter."

Hunter shrugged. "I'm here as your doctor and your friend, Rebecca. One thing you know is I will always be real with you. And I'm being real with you now when I tell you you need Cass with you through this."

Rebecca inhaled deeply, blowing anxious air out slowly and methodically. "Fine. I'll tell her tonight. What are my next steps?"

"Talking to your wife is your next step. I'll get referrals…"

"No, I don't want referrals, Hunter. I want an appointment with the person you trust the most. Please make it as soon as possible because I don't want this looming over Cassidy and me. I suppose it's futile to ask you not to tell Ellie?"

"I won't —can't— if you don't want me to. Again, I'll use the ‘what would you do' scenario. Would you have wanted us not to tell you when Ellie had her accident? Or for Lainey not to tell you when all that shit was happening with Eve?"

"You really play dirty for a ‘best friend,' Hunter."

"I just don't want you to go through this alone when you don't have to, Becca. You have a family."

"Oh, god." Rebecca buried her face in her hands. "I have to tell Aunt Wills."

Hunter wrapped her arm around Rebecca's shoulders. "We're going to think positive, okay? Listen, more than seventy percent of brain tumors are benign. Keep that in mind when you're telling Cass and Aunt Wills. I'll make some calls and set up a consult for you." She stood and held a hand out to Rebecca, helping her up.

"Can you at least give me some insight into what I have to look forward to?"

"I'm not a neurosurgeon, Becca." Hunter sighed again when Rebecca just stared at her. "You'll discuss options with your surgeon when they have a better idea of what we're looking at. But they could include a biopsy and/or surgery."

"How much of my hair will I lose?" Rebecca rolled her eyes. "I'm aware that I sound extremely vain right now."

"Not at all. It's a genuine concern for a lot of patients, Rebecca. And the surgeon I'm thinking of has done many hair-sparing surgeries for patients who needed the extra mile to help with the emotional side of all this."

"Hair-sparing surgery," Rebecca repeated. "Is that a real thing?"

Hunter nodded. "I'll let the doc explain it to you when you speak with her. Do you want me to take you home? Patty can take care of things here."

"That's not necessary. I drove here. I can drive home." Rebecca hesitated. "I can drive home, right?"

"I'd feel better if you had someone with you." Hunter checked her watch. "It's Dani's lunchtime. Will you at least let them follow you home?"

Was this going to be her life now? Being a burden on others? Rebecca tried to shake that thought off. She was the first to tell her friends their group was a village. How hypocritical would she be if she pushed everyone away when she needed them the most? Still, Rebecca wasn't ready to be on the receiving end of everyone's pity.

"I will let Dani follow me if you promise to keep this between you and Ellie."

"Well, it's not for me to tell. And even Mo and Patty are bound by patient confidentiality."

"Damn it, I forgot about their access to this information."

"Hey," Hunter hugged Rebecca to her. "Just remember we're your friends first and foremost. We only want you to be healthy and comfortable." She guided Rebecca out to the reception area, calling out for Dani.

"Yeah, Doc?"

"Are you headed out for lunch?"

Dani nodded. "Yes, ma'am. Did you need me to do something first?"

"I was hoping you could follow Mrs. Giles home. She's too stubborn to accept a ride, so this was the compromise." Hunter let out an oomph of pain when Rebecca elbowed her in the stomach.

"The compromise was I would let you follow me home because this fusspot wanted to leave the clinic to take me herself when I'm perfectly capable of driving."

"Fusspot," Dani snickered, clearing their throat when Hunter glared at them. "I mean, I'd be happy to escort you home, Mrs. Giles."

Rebecca brought a twenty dollar bill out of her pocket and handed it to Dani. "Don't try to refuse it. This is interrupting your eating time. The least I can do is pay for your lunch."

Dani tipped their head shyly. "Thank you." They held their arm out to Rebecca. "Ready?"

Nope. I will never be ready to tell Cassidy this news.Rebecca slipped her arm through Dani's. "Ready."

Rebecca tossedher phone on the couch next to her, pinching her nose in frustration. She had spent the last hour and a half torturing herself by googling brain tumors and everything that went along with that diagnosis. None of it sounded good.

"Babe? I'm home," Cass called out as she hung her keys on the new pegs Rebecca had put up a week ago. It was one of Rebecca's ‘slowing down projects' along with a mail organizer. Cass liked the new system as it was easier to find her keys in the morning, and Rebecca threw away the junk mail before sorting it. When Cass didn't get an answer from her wife, she forgot about the mail and went in search of her love.

She found Rebecca on the couch, a fluffy blanket covering her legs which Cass knew were curled up underneath her. But what caught Cass's attention the most was Rebecca's demeanor. Her eyes were closed, and her head was down.

"Babe?"

Rebecca opened her eyes, blinking against the light. Her head was hurting, and, unsurprisingly, she couldn't help but wonder if it was because she had a long day or the… tumor. Then Cassidy's face came into focus, and Rebecca smiled.

"Hi, baby."

"Hey." Cass carefully positioned herself next to Rebecca, kissing her softly on the cheek. "Are you okay?"

Am I?"Yes, just a little tired. As it turns out, getting poked and prodded all day takes a lot out of you," Rebecca joked, trying to make light of the situation.

"Poor baby," Cass cooed, stroking Rebecca's hair with a gentle hand. "Want me to carry you up to bed? I promise to only poke and prod you in pleasurable ways." She wiggled her eyebrows, causing Rebecca to chuckle.

"Maybe a little later."

"I'll hold you to that. What can I do for you right now? Do you need something to drink? Eat? How did everything go besides being exhausting?"

Rebecca smiled at her wife. "I ordered some pizza which should be here in about," she checked her delivery app. "Twenty minutes. Why don't you take a shower, get comfy, and we'll eat and discuss today?"

"Sounds like a plan. Sure you don't want to take a shower with me?" Another wiggle of the eyebrows brought on another giggle from Rebecca. Cass never felt prouder than when she could make a woman like Rebecca Cuinn-Giles giggle.

"I took a shower when I got home, baby."

Cass made a face. "Had to get the clinic air off of ya, hmm?" She shivered. "It's weird, isn't it? Hospitals and clinics — especially Hunter's — are probably the most sterile places to be, yet somehow I feel… icky every time I leave one."

"Icky," Rebecca repeated with mirth. "I guess you're right. It doesn't help when all your bits have been out for everyone to see."

Cass laughed. "I suppose that doesn't help mat… wait. Everyone?" She narrowed her eyes. "If Hunter copped a feel…"

"Don't be crass, baby," Rebecca snickered. "Hunter was the perfect gentlewoman and stayed away until it was time to give me results. Now, you've eaten up a lot of the time you had to take a shower before the food gets here. Get going."

"Yes, Mistress," Cass grinned. She leaned in and gave Rebecca a lingering kiss. "I'll be right back, okay?"

"Mmhmm," Rebecca answered distractedly. She could get lost in Cassidy's kisses. It was tempting to do just that. To forget about the food, the exams, the diagnosis, and make love to Cassidy all night long, pretending everything was fine. The only problem with that is nothing would be resolved. So, instead of getting up and joining Cassidy, Rebecca patted her on the backside as Cassidy got up. She watched as Cassidy did a happy little jaunt to the stairs.

I'm going to destroy that happiness, Rebecca thought sadly. She picked up her phone, immediately putting it down again. She was restless. A restless Rebecca was never good. Unless, of course, she could creatively release that pent-up energy with her wife. But Rebecca's libido wasn't on the same wavelength at the moment. All she could think about was how to tell Cassidy the news.

The sound of the doorbell brought Rebecca out of her trance. She looked at her watch and frowned. Twenty minutes had passed, and Rebecca hadn't come up with any answers. She flipped the blanket off her legs and padded to the door. She waited until the delivery person drove away before opening the door and grabbing their food. It smelled good, and Rebecca's empty stomach growled. She hoped she could scarf some of it down — and keep it down — while she and Cassidy talked.

Talked. "How the fuck do I say this?" She sat back on the sofa after setting the food on the coffee table. "Cassidy, I have… So, there's this little… Cassidy, baby, this is going to sound scary, but…" Rebecca groaned. "Come on, Rebecca. Just say it!"

"Just say what?"

Rebecca nearly jumped out of her skin. "Jesus, Cassidy! You scared the shit out of me!"

Cass winced, hiding a smile. "Sorry, babe. I thought you heard me coming down." That smile faded when she saw the look on Rebecca's face. "Becca? Something is up, babe. What is it?" Cass got to her knees next to the couch. Rebecca's day came crashing back into Cass's mind, and the cold fingers of panic grabbed ahold of Cass's heart. "Baby, did they… was there something on the mammogram? Should I call Vanessa?"

Rebecca's eyebrows furrowed. Why would she call Vanessa? And then it hit her. "No, no! No, Cassidy." She brought Cassidy's hands to her breasts, squeezing her fingers over Cassidy's in a very rudimentary self-exam. "See? All good."

Cass took a breath but couldn't shake the dreadful feeling in her gut. "Okay. What about the gyno exam? Did something come up there?"

"Nope. Apparently, I have a very normal vagina."

Cass snorted. "There ain't nothing normal about your vagina, baby. It's extraordinary." Another breath of relief still didn't quell the paranoia. "Okay, so tits and vag are good. What aren't you telling me, Becca? There's something wrong. I can feel it in here." Cass placed a hand over her heart. "I didn't even know you had an appointment today, and you didn't call me when it was over."

"Do you want to eat while the pizza is hot?"

"Becca. All I want right now is for you to tell me what you clearly don't want to tell me."

Rebecca was stunned by Cassidy's directness. She'd always been open and honest about what she was feeling. But it was usually in a cute yet flustered manner. This was… assertive.

"Alright, Cassidy." Rebecca scooted over and patted the couch, inviting Cassidy to join her. She foolishly hadn't expected her wife to be so intuitive. Cassidy knew Rebecca inside and out. "Are you willing to listen without interrupting me?"

Cass nodded. She didn't dare open her mouth to say anything because she feared she'd get sick. Fuck, she didn't like this, whatever this was. She wanted to bounce her leg or get up and pace. But instead, Cass sat there, waiting for Rebecca to explain.

"First, I didn't have an appointment. As you know, I've been having trouble sleeping lately because of the nightmares. So, I went to Hunter to see if she could give me some advice or maybe some potent melatonin or something. When I told her I've been having lingering headaches, she said she wanted to do an MRI because what I was describing sounded like maybe scar tissue on my brain from past… trauma."

Rebecca knew she was drawing this out far more than she needed to. But she couldn't bring herself to say the words. Not yet.

Cass gritted her teeth. Fucking Samantha. If anyone in the world deserved to be in hell, it was Samantha. "She's responsible for this?" Cass asked, hanging onto a single thread of calmness.

Rebecca inhaled. She wished she could blame this on Samantha. "No. It's not a scar, baby."

Cass sat back, relief washing over her. Then she replayed Rebecca's words in her head. It's not a scar. She sat back up, grabbed Rebecca's hands, and looked her in the eye. "It?"

The utter fear in Cassidy's voice and expression broke Rebecca's heart. Tears welled as she squeezed Cassidy's hands. "I have a tumor, Cassidy," she revealed quietly.

I have a tumor, Cassidy.The words were on a loop in Cass's mind, yet she couldn't grasp the concept.

"Cassidy?"

"A — a t-tumor. A brain tumor?" Cass watched as Rebecca nodded, and the sick feeling in her stomach intensified. "C-cancer?"

"I don't know, baby. They have to do a biopsy to determine that."

Biopsy. Cass sprang up from the couch and began pacing. She wrung her hands as she mumbled. Then she'd stop, rub her sweaty palms on her shorts, and start again. Cass went back to Rebecca's side, kneeling.

"Okay. What are our next steps?"

Rebecca had watched Cassidy go through the emotions of Rebecca's news. Judging by the mumbling Rebecca could decipher, Cassidy had gone through the five stages of grief in the span of thirty seconds. Of course, Rebecca knew this was the beginning of what could be a long, arduous journey, and Cassidy's emotions would ebb and flow with hers, but for now, Cassidy was on the ‘do something' stage.

"Well, Hunter made an appointment for me with a neurosurgeon to discuss options."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Yeah, okay." Cass took out her phone and opened her email.

"What are you doing?"

"Emailing the hospital to tell them I won't be there tomorrow."

Rebecca put her hand over Cassidy's phone. "Cassidy, no. This is just a visit to…"

"Stop, Becca. I'm going to be there. Did you really think I'd sit this one out? Just go paint while you see a freakin' surgeon about a brain tumor?"

"Cassidy…"

"No. I'm not a child, Rebecca. I don't need you to shield me from the hard things in life. I want to be there. I need to be there, Becca. Don't push me away on this when you know full well that if the tables were turned, you'd want the same thing."

Rebecca raised a brow. "You get this look when you dominate me. Determined. Focused. I've always found it sexy. Right now, I find it a little intimidating, and I can't say no to you."

Cass's lips twitched involuntarily. Imagine Mistress being intimidated by you. What a heady feeling. Cass just wished it was for more erotic reasons.

"I don't want you to say no." Cass plopped herself on the couch and pulled Rebecca onto her lap. "Tell me what you need, baby?"

"Just you. I don't know why I thought I should — or could — do this without you." Rebecca moved in and kissed Cassidy, cupping Cassidy's neck with her palm. She could feel the beat of Cassidy's heart beneath her touch, marveling at how it quickened when Rebecca's tongue slipped past Cassidy's lips. "How hungry are you?" she whispered through the kiss.

"For you? Starving."

With Rebecca secured in her arms, Cass stood — grateful she never skipped leg day. She cradled Rebecca, who nuzzled her face in Cass's neck. Her step nearly faltered when she thought about the tumor. It was going to be a long night, worrying about what it was they were up against. The only way Cass could get through it was to be with Rebecca. To hold her. Love her… Cherish her. And that's precisely what Cass planned to do.

Rebecca pluckedthe phone out of Cassidy's hands. Rebecca had insisted on freshening up and doing her nightly routine before any… extracurricular activity started. So, Cassidy was waiting for her in bed while Rebecca took her time. Of course, that meant Cassidy had time to Google.

"Hey! I was reading that."

"I know. I already went down that rabbit hole. Believe me, baby, it won't help. It only makes it worse." Rebecca put Cassidy's phone on the nightstand and crawled up on the bed to straddle her.

Cass's hands traveled from Rebecca's thighs, over her perfect ass, and under her tank top to feather over Rebecca's scarred back. She kept this sensual exploration going as she stared into Rebecca's eyes.

"I love you, Rebecca."

Rebecca smiled. "I love you, too, Cassidy." She lowered her head and kissed Cassidy, slowly letting the passion build within them. Tonight she wanted to savor every moment. Every touch. They had no way of knowing what they were up against in the future. But tonight, Rebecca knew all she needed to know. Cassidy loved her and wanted to be there through everything.

"Do you think we can forget about everything for tonight? Tomorrow will be here soon enough and I can't help the fear that things will change."

"Not between us, baby," Cass assured. "Whatever happens, we're solid, Becca. I'm here for the long-haul. But yeah. Tonight is just me and you. We'll keep tomorrow at bay for as long as we can."

Tears welled in Rebecca's eyes. She was grateful for Cassidy's understanding and profound devotion. There wasn't anyone else in the world she wanted by her side. "Lay down," Rebecca directed softly.

Cass waited until Rebecca moved off her and then did as instructed. No more words were said, but Rebecca's actions spoke volumes as she undressed Cass slowly before disrobing herself. Cass fully expected Rebecca to lay with her breast to breast, sex to sex. So when Rebecca flipped her position, Cass's body jerked with anticipation. Her mind — and body — went back to their last time in the playroom. The first time Mistress had tasted Cass in such an intimate way. It hadn't happened since that time, but Cass was a patient woman. Her patience was about to pay off with Rebecca.

Rebecca straddled Cassidy's face while she breathed in Cassidy's scent. Cassidy's arousal sent shivers through Rebecca's body. Her mouth watered at the thought of tasting her wife again. If she thought their time in the playroom was erotic, this was on a whole other level. There was something incredibly erotic about the position they were in, being savored while indulging herself.

Cassidy moaned against her clit and Rebecca countered by sucking Cassidy's clit into her mouth. At this moment, everything that happened that day faded away. The only thing Rebecca thought about was Cassidy. All of her senses were filled with Cassidy. She tasted Cassidy's elixir, smelled Cassidy's aroma, felt Cassidy's wetness on her tongue, watched Cassidy writhe beneath her, and heard Cassidy's excitement build with the looming climax.

Cass gripped Rebecca's hips, lifting her head and plunging her tongue deep inside Rebecca. Fuck! When Mistress used her mouth on Cass, it was fucking awesome. But this? Tasting Rebecca as Rebecca feasted on her? That was fucking heaven. She knew she said that frequently about being with Rebecca, but each time it was true. And Rebecca continued to surprise her. This was how Cass saw the future. Growing old, still head over heels in love, still being surprised, and still having mind-blowing orgasms.

Cassidy's hips lifted as the orgasm ripped through her. Rebecca felt her contract around her tongue while Cassidy's fingers dug into Rebecca's hips. Then she felt Cassidy's finger slip inside her ass and she exploded. She lifted her head from Cassidy, drawing in a sharp breath.

"Fuck! Cassidy!"

But Cass didn't stop the onslaught of licks, sucks, and nips. She held tight onto Rebecca's hips, refusing to let her wriggle away from the pleasurable torture.

"Please, Cassidy!" Rebecca had lost all concentration. She was now on her hands and knees, desperate to get distance from Cassidy's mouth — and, yet, wanting to stay right where she was for the rest of her life. She was panting, her heart racing as another orgasm came crashing down on her. "Fuck me!"

She collapsed between Cassidy's legs, barely able to breathe after that orgasm. Somehow between losing half of her bodily fluids and utter exhaustion, Cassidy had wriggled her way out from under Rebecca and started a bath. The next thing Rebecca knew, she was in Cassidy's arms being carried to the bathroom.

"Where are we going?" Rebecca asked sleepily.

"To get cleaned up, baby," Cass cooed softly. Her body was humming after Rebecca nearly licked her dry. The climax had the opposite effect on Cass as it did on Rebecca. While Rebecca was practically jello in Cass's arms, Cass was invigorated. She could have gone another few rounds. But since Rebecca seemed down for the count — understandably so with everything she'd been through today — Cass decided to use her energy in other ways. Like bathing Rebecca.

Being with Rebecca renewed Cass's determination that she would be strong for Rebecca no matter what they were told tomorrow. She felt ready — and willing — to fight any demon that had the audacity to come after her girl. Did she know how she was going to fight the worst-case scenario of this tumor being cancerous? Nope. But the fuck if she wouldn't try anything and everything to do just that.