Chapter 6

One week into ‘slowing down'for Rebecca Cuinn-Giles. Rebecca scribbled in her journal, checking her watch to make sure she had the date right. Not being on a schedule severely skewed Rebecca's sense of what day it was, so she was taking Ellie's suggestion of writing a journal to keep her mind focused and busy while trying to transition into a life that didn't consist of business plans or crunching numbers. Rebecca wasn't the best at writing anything but business proposals, but she was giving it a shot since she wasn't good at being idle either.

"I shouldn't be long today, babe. I think I will check out pretty early today and tomorrow, then we can make it a long weekend." Cass kissed Rebecca on top of the head, squeezing her shoulders in a light massage.

Rebecca reached up and patted Cassidy's hand before standing to give her a proper kiss goodbye. "Cassidy, you don't need to rearrange your schedule for me. I can keep myself busy."

Cass wrapped her arms around Rebecca's waist. "I'd rather be the one keeping you busy," she winked. "Besides, our hot tub is coming on Friday, and I want to be here with you."

"Afraid I'll take advantage of the hot tub without you when they're done with the installation?"

"More like I don't want you here alone with the installers."

Rebecca scoffed. "I can take care of myself, Cassidy." She backed away, anger coursing through her veins. "I saw that."

Cass frowned. She had barely thought of Samantha when Rebecca said she could take care of herself. But apparently, Cass's face shouted it out, and now her wife was pissed at her.

"Becca…"

"No, Cassidy. You need to go to work now. I don't need to be reminded of my past for a second time in as many weeks. How dare you."

"Becca, please." Yeah, Rebecca's indignation was warranted, but usually, they could talk out their grievances without it going further than an annoyance. But now Rebecca was practically kicking Cass out.

"Please what? Please let you explain how you think I can't take care of myself because Samantha nearly killed me? Because I stayed with her, I'm essentially too dumb to stay out of trouble?"

Cass's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She couldn't remember a time when Rebecca was this mad at her. Mad enough to put words into Cass's mouth that Cass would never say or even think.

"Whoa! That's not what I thought, Becca. I never want to see you hurt again. I do not think you're weak or incapable of taking care of yourself, and I certainly don't think you're dumb. Part of my responsibility — my privilege — as your wife is taking care of you and keeping you safe. I don't want you mad at me, baby, but I can't apologize for wanting to protect you."

Rebecca rubbed her temples, trying to curb the threatening headache. Had she overreacted? She knew Cassidy would never entertain malicious thoughts about her. So why did this make her stomach hurt as much as her head?

"Fine. I'll see you later, Cassidy. Be careful."

Nope. I'm not leaving like this. "Becca," Cass reached for Rebecca's hands. "While I'm not sorry for wanting to protect you, I am sorry I upset you. I totally could have handled this conversation much better. But I can't leave this house while you're mad at me. I can't take the chance of something happening while my soul is in turmoil."

Rebecca sighed. First, Cassidy had been taking their joint yoga sessions seriously. Second, Cassidy was right. If she walked out and something happened to her while Rebecca hung on to her anger… well, Rebecca would never recover from that. Besides, Cassidy explained herself, which was a sweet explanation, as usual.

"I'm sorry. I don't know why I reacted that way." Rebecca wrapped her arms around Cassidy's waist.

"I do." Cass pushed a stray strand of hair out of Rebecca's eyes. "It all started with that douchecanoe last week. You've been restless at night, having nightmares. I should have been more sensitive to how you've been feeling."

"Don't do that, baby. Don't make this out to be your fault when I was clearly in the wrong." Rebecca stood on her tiptoes and kissed Cassidy gently on the lips. "I shouldn't have snapped at you the way I did. I'm not even going to blame it on whatever happened last week or my headache."

Cass kissed Rebecca's temple. "Another headache? Need me to stop and get you something a little stronger?"

Rebecca shook her head. "No, thank you, baby. I'm going to go downstairs and meditate for a while. Then, when the hot tub gets installed, we will break that in. A lot."

Cass grinned. There's my girl. "Well, until then, I will just have to give you massages to keep that tension at bay."

"You can massage me anywhere you want," Rebecca winked. "Now, get your cute butt out of here because you're going to be late."

"It's not a nine-to-five, babe. I make my own hours. However, if I wanna get enough done to take off the next three days, I have to scoot on outta here."

Rebecca slapped Cassidy's ass. "You best get to scootin' then," she teased. "If you're lucky, I'll make something hearty for dinner."

"Babe, as long as I'm coming home to you, I'm lucky. I love you." Cass gave Rebecca another kiss before tweaking her nose and walking away. She felt much lighter now that she and Rebecca were okay. A happy wife meant a creative mind for Cass Giles.

"I love you, too," Rebecca replied softly, her smile slowly fading as Cassidy left. What the hell was her problem? Rebecca's irritability had been running rampant lately, and she was having trouble reining it. That fucking consultation was messing with her head, and Rebecca was sick of it. "Time to work on my mood swings."

"Rebecca."

Rebecca opened one eye, annoyed at being interrupted during her meditation.

"Hello?" She listened for a few seconds, not hearing anything. "It's all in your head, Rebecca," she told herself. Closing her eyes again, Rebecca took a deep breath, blowing it out slowly. Ellie said that humming was one of the best ways to calm her nerves fast and effectively. Though it made her feel silly, Rebecca did it.

"Rebecca."

"Ugh!" Rebecca clenched her hands into fists. This was not helping her relax. "Cassidy? Are you home?" She checked her watch. Cassidy had only left thirty minutes ago. Had she forgotten something and come home? Again, Rebecca listened for an answer and got none. She reached over and picked up her phone, turning off the melodic meditation music to make a call.

"Hey, babe! Miss me already?"

"Cassidy, are you here?"

"Huh? Becca, you just called me." Cass glanced down at her phone. Yep, she called me. "Are you okay?"

Rebecca frowned. "Yeah, I-I'm fine. I just thought I heard you…."

"I wish it was me. I'm stuck on the 405."

Rebecca untangled her legs from her lotus position and got up. Grabbing one of the bats she kept near every door, Rebecca stealthily made her way upstairs.

"Becca?"

Rebecca jumped at Cassidy's voice in her ear. "Yeah, babe, I'm here. Sorry to bother you. I'm downstairs meditating, and it's quiet, so I'm probably just hearing all the noises we tend to ignore all the time." She opted not to tell Cassidy about hearing her name. There was no need to alarm Cassidy while she was driving.

Cass, of course, was contemplating where to turn around and go home. Rebecca's meeting last week hadn't only affected Rebecca. Cass was also on edge. She had promised Rebecca to let it go unless the prick did something, but Cass certainly didn't want to wait until Rebecca was in danger before taking action.

"I'm going to turn around, babe."

"No, Cassidy. I checked the doors and windows. Everything is secure. Seriously, I think it was just too quiet in the house, and I'm not used to that. You know I need some kind of noise, even when I'm sleeping. This is probably why."

"You hear ghosts," Cass said softly. Those ghosts — one in particular — would always be with Rebecca. Cass would endure white noise at night to keep those ghosts away.

"I guess so." Rebecca shook off the chill that ran through her body. "Okay, baby, get off the phone so you can pay attention to driving."

"You mean sitting in this traffic? I would call it a parking lot, but cars move much faster in a parking lot."

Rebecca chuckled. "Just be careful, okay?"

"Will do, buckaroo! Call me if you need some noise to keep you company."

"What kind of noise will you provide?" Rebecca asked mischievously, then nearly dropped the phone when Cassidy let out a sexy moan. "Cassidy!"

"What?" Cass answered innocently. "You wanted to know!" She grinned to herself, knowing Mistress would file that one away for punishment later.

"Goodbye, Cassidy." Though her voice held authority, Rebecca was grinning from ear to ear. Leave it to Cassidy to cheer her up and take her mind off whatever was bothering her.

"Honey, I'm home!"Cass snickered at herself as she tossed her keys on the side table. She picked up her mail and sifted through it as she made her way toward the smell of food in the kitchen. Cass sniffed the air, frowning a bit when she smelled something burning. "Babe?"

Cass jogged to the oven and shut it off before grabbing a towel and fanning the smoke that poured out when she opened the oven door. She slipped on an oven mitt and pulled what looked like lasagna out, setting it on top of the stove.

"Becca?" Cass called out. She ran to the living room, then to Rebecca's office. There was no sign of her wife in either room. Cass took the stairs two at a time, slamming into their bedroom. "Rebecca?"

Cass was shaking with fear after looking in the bathroom, playroom, and Cass's studio without finding Rebecca. She pulled out her phone and dialed Grayson as she bound down the stairs to their home gym, promptly forgetting about pressing send when she saw Rebecca there in the middle of the room, lying on her yoga mat.

"Baby?" Cass fell to her knees, checking Rebecca for any injuries. "Becca? Baby, can you hear me?" She was on the brink of calling 911 when Rebecca stirred.

"Mmm, Cassidy," Rebecca smiled. "You're home."

"Are you okay?" Cass's hands were everywhere all at once.

"Cassidy!" Rebecca swatted at Cassidy's hands. "What are you doing?"

"Are you hurt, baby?"

"Why would I be hurt?" Rebecca sat up, looking around her in confusion. She must've fallen asleep while meditating.

"Becca, I've been calling your name and searching the entire fucking house for you!" Cass was so scared she was angry. Not at Rebecca. She couldn't be angry at Rebecca. But Cass never should have agreed to let this Buck McEnroe get away with whatever the fuck his game was. "I was about to call the damn cops!"

"Do not yell at me, Cassidy." Rebecca's tone was cold. "You don't ever yell at me. I will not go through that again." She pulled away from Cassidy's touch and stood up.

Cass knew better than to grab Rebecca, so she took half a second to calm down. "Becca, baby, wait. Please. I didn't mean to yell at you. I was just scared."

"Scared of what?"

Cass scrambled to get up, taken aback by Rebecca's attitude of late. She knew Rebecca was making a significant change in her life, but Cass sincerely thought Rebecca was doing what she wanted. That's why she didn't understand Rebecca's mood swings.

"Babe, I came home to find dinner burning in the oven and you missing."

Rebecca frowned. She inhaled, ready to tell Cassidy she was wrong, but the smell of smoke in the air confirmed Cassidy was telling the truth. But that didn't make sense.

"No, I… I was meditating, and I guess I dozed off."

"You were meditating again? Is something bothering you, Becca?" Hesitantly, she took Rebecca's hands in hers. "Baby, if there's something you need to be doing to be happy, please tell me."

"Oh, Cassidy." Rebecca pulled Cassidy close, kissing her. "I am happy." She sighed. "I haven't been sleeping well, and I guess it just caught up to me."

"I know, baby. And I think if we did something about this McEnroe guy…"

"Cassidy, we haven't heard from him since. This is my issue. I'll do better at not making it your issue, too."

"Babe, I'm your wife. That means we share the load." Cass kissed Rebecca's forehead. "I think maybe we should talk to Aunt Wills."

"You want me to start seeing a shrink again?"

"No, baby. I want us to talk to Aunt Wills to see if there's anything we can do to help you let go of the past again. You know I like exorcising your demons," Cass grinned. She hoped to hell she was saying the right things. With Rebecca's fluctuating moods, it was hard to tell what would set her off at any given moment.

Rebecca smiled. "Why don't you help me salvage what we can of dinner? Then you can exorcise all the demons you want." She kissed Cassidy again, putting passion and love behind it with full force.

"Sounds like a plan," Cass answered close to Rebecca's lips. Yeah, she noticed Rebecca didn't answer her about Aunt Wills, but Cass would let it go for now. If the restless nights and irritability continued, Cass would bring it up again. "But I think the lasagna is a goner."

"I'm so sorry, Cassidy. I wanted to have dinner ready for you when you got home. I screwed up. I'm sorry. Please don't be mad at me."

Cass watched in horror as Rebecca actually cowered in front of her. Fucking Samantha. "Baby, hey," Cass deliberately kept her voice soft and soothing. "Hey, hey, hey. Everything is fine. It's just lasagna, yeah?" She wrapped her arms around Rebecca, closing her eyes to hold back the tears as she felt Rebecca shake against her. "Baby, it's okay. I promise. We can get some take-out. No biggie. Becca, baby, you don't even like lasagna that much." She leaned back to look Rebecca in the eye. "You were secretly hoping we could get some tacos, weren't you?"

A tremulous smile formed on Rebecca's lips. "I like lasagna. I don't like ricotta cheese."

Cass chuckled. "You didn't have to put ricotta in there, babe."

"You like it. I was making it for you."

"Well, it just so happens that I like tacos even more," Cass said, wriggling her eyebrows. "Tacos are tasty."

Rebecca smacked Cassidy's stomach. "Fiend."

"Only for you." Cass's nerves calmed ever so slightly when Rebecca stopped shaking. If anyone walked in now, they would see the Rebecca everyone knew. Confident, sexy, flirty. A completely different woman than the one just moments ago. Maybe I should just call Aunt Wills to see what she says. "Tacos?"

"Make it a burrito, and I'm in. No wait. I want a taco, too."

Cass laughed. "Okay, we're gonna split a big ass burrito and get a couple of tacos, too." She pulled out her phone and opened the delivery app. "I want some queso, too, since I'm not getting any ricotta," she winked. "And, like, a tub of that special sauce they have."

"I have your special sauce right here, you bottomless pit."

"Oh, baby, you're dessert."

Cass kissedRebecca's neck as she moved slow and steady inside her. Rebecca's soft moans in Cass's ear were like a balm to her troubled mind. Dinner went off without a hitch, but Cass couldn't get what happened before out of her head. She needed to talk to Rebecca about all of this. Tomorrow, she thought as she made love to Rebecca. We'll talk tomorrow.

"Cassidy," Rebecca whispered in the ear close to her mouth. Cassidy nipped at her neck, rolling her hips as she buried herself deep inside Rebecca. "Look at me, baby."

Cass lifted her head, gazing down at Rebecca. The muscles in her arms strained as she held herself up. Her ass clenched when Rebecca dug her nails in, pulling her closer.

"I love you, Rebecca."

Rebecca's breath hitched, and she wrapped her legs around Cassidy's waist. "I love you, Cassidy." She brought her hands up, cupping Cassidy's face and bringing her down for a passionate kiss. As the orgasm shot through her, Rebecca squeezed her eyes shut, moaning against Cassidy's lips. The kiss broke when Cassidy came as well, grinding out a guttural moan. "So much," Rebecca murmured reverently.