Chapter 21

Rebecca blinked.She'd been staring at the TV for the past thirty minutes and yet had no clue what was playing. Per her aunt's advice last night, Rebecca was trying to allow the memories to come to her. She tried meditating, but the quiet was allowing her mind to wander into territories she couldn't quite navigate. The background noise of the TV gave her just enough of a distraction to space out without overthinking. However, she'd been brought out of her mini-trance by a different noise. And there it was again—the ring of the doorbell.

She glanced around to see if Aunt Wills was around to get the door but couldn't see or hear her. "Guess I'll get it. It's fine. I don't have anything pressing to do except sit on the couch and reflect on… whatever I'm supposed to be reflecting on." Rebecca realized then, halfway to the door, that she was having a full-on conversation with herself. "I'm going crazy."

She pulled open the door, her eyes moving up until she met the bi-colored eyes she was quickly being captivated by. Rebecca couldn't explain why this habit Cass had of stopping by every night made her incredibly happy. "Cass," she smiled. "You're a little early for dinner. Or did you forget to bring something else? Do I have a favorite toothbrush? Or maybe a favorite pillow you forgot to bring the first two times?"

Rebecca was teasing her, and Cass was here for it. Though it still hurt to hear Rebecca calling her Cass, seeing the playfulness in her eyes warmed Cass's heart.

"You do have a favorite pillow," Cass said with a grin. "But I'm kinda using it. Nah, actually, I was summoned today."

Rebecca tilted her head in question. Before she could ask what Cass meant by that, Aunt Wills came bustling in.

"Cass? Is that you?"

Cass peered past Rebecca to a smartly dressed Aunt Wills. She hadn't told Cass why she needed her here, but it didn't matter. As soon as she got the text from Aunt Wills asking if she could come over, Cass dropped everything and hightailed it over.

"In the flesh."

Rebecca's eyes involuntarily tracked over Cass's body. Nice flesh. "Ahem, what's going on, Aunt Wills?"

Willamena rummaged through her bag, searching for her keys. "I have an emergency session with a client," she said distractedly. "Ah! There they are!" Willamena held up her keys in triumph. "Anyway, I asked Cass if she could come over to…"

"To babysit me," Rebecca finished with a sour look on her face.

"No, Little Miss Sassy Pants," Willamena countered. She didn't waver against Rebecca's icy stare.

Cass snickered but immediately wiped the smile off her face when Rebecca glared at her. She couldn't help it! Aunt Wills just called Rebecca Little Miss Sassy Pants. How in the hell was Cass supposed to just let that slide by as though she didn't hear it?

"I asked Cass to come and keep you company." Willamena raised a brow. "Rebecca Aisling Cuinn G…" She stopped abruptly. Willamena hadn't told Rebecca that she and Cass were married yet. Was that going too far with the information? Perhaps that was a conversation for another time, not when she was rushing out the door. "You are only a few days out of surgery. You still have stitches, for goodness sake! I cannot leave you here by yourself. If something happened while I was gone, I'd never forgive myself. So, do an old woman a favor and just accept this. Please?"

Rebecca blew out a breath. "Fine. But I'm sure Cass has better things to do than be cooped up here with me."

"Nope," Cass shook her head. "I was just heading to the diner for lunch." She pursed her lips. "Why, uh, don't you come with me? It's a beautiful day. We could get some food, take a walk — a short one," she said quickly for Aunt Wills's sake. "I won't keep you out long, but at least you could get some fresh air."

Rebecca thought about it for a moment. A venture out of the house with the most handsome woman she'd ever seen? That sounded like a win-win. "Could you give me ten minutes to get ready?"

"I'll give you all the time you need, Becca."

Rebecca's breath caught in her throat. She was stunned for a good ten seconds, seeing the look in Cass's eyes. "I-I just need ten minutes. I'll be right back."

She headed for the stairs, turning back once to catch Cass's gaze on her. Amnesia or not, Rebecca couldn't remember a time when she felt so… beautiful. Even in her oversized sweats, that's how Cass made her feel.

"Smooth," Willamena winked.

"True," Cass corrected. Then she narrowed her eyes at Aunt Wills. "Do you really have a session? You usually do those over Zoom."

"Why would I lie?" Willamena handed Cass a bottle of pills. "Now, if a headache comes on, here are Rebecca's pain meds. She hates to take them, but it's better than her suffering. I'll be at least a couple of hours, but feel free to spend as much time together as Rebecca can handle."

"What am I not allowed to say to her?" Cass slipped the pills into her pocket, hoping Rebecca wouldn't need them. Aunt Wills was right. Becca hated taking medicine. It would be a chore just to get her to agree to one if Cass thought she needed it.

"I haven't mentioned you two being…" Willamena glanced toward the stairs. "Married, yet. That may be a subject for another day. But use your judgment, Cass. You love Rebecca. You know her. I think you'll do just fine. Okay! I'm off! I will see you in a few hours!" Willamena winked, patted Cass on the shoulder, and took off.

Willamena tookout her phone and pressed the call button. "Blaise? Tell the girls that Operation Cassecca… Rebass…" She rolled her eyes. Ship names were not something she was good at. "Anyway, tell them Cass is here and taking Rebecca out to lunch. We're a go! I'll see you in ten minutes. Break out the mimosas!"

Willamena didn't even wait for Blaise to respond. She just shoved the phone back into her bag and trotted off with a smile fixed to her face. The more time Rebecca spent with Cass, the better. She loved her niece more than anything else in the world, but Rebecca wasn't Rebecca without Cass. It was time to get the memory gears turning.

Cass tappedher fingertips on her thighs — a nervous tic — and wandered around the living room as she waited for Rebecca. It was… odd being nervous with her wife, but then again, this whole situation was odd, to say the least. She eyed a book on the coffee table and wondered what Rebecca was reading now. Had she finished the Joslyn Cohan book she had been reading previously? Cass picked up the book, turned it over to see the cover, and smiled.

"Sticking with the author," she said quietly.

"She's quite talented," Rebecca said from the bottom of the stairs. She chuckled lightly when Cass bobbled the book before placing it carefully back on the table. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"Nah, it's all good." Cass cleared her throat, studying the woman she'd known and loved for the past few years. Rebecca seemed… younger. Perhaps it was because Rebecca thought she was younger and carried herself that way. Or maybe it was the lack of stress in Rebecca's life. Without her memory, Rebecca had nothing to worry about except herself. No clients, no club… no Cass. "Did, uh, did you finish the other one?"

Rebecca tilted her head and merely stared at Cass for a good long minute. "What were you just thinking?"

Cass shook her head. "I was just thinking how beautiful you look." It was true. Rebecca was dressed in faded boyfriend jeans and a simple white t-shirt. Her hair was up in a ponytail, a usual occurrence these past few days. And her face was completely void of any enhancements.

"And that made you sad?"

Cass smiled softly. "I'd be lying to you if I said that you not remembering me doesn't make me sad, Becca. But I have to admit, you look very… refreshed."

Rebecca rolled her eyes. "That's because I'm not allowed to do anything except rest. I swear, if I rest any more, I'm going to go into a coma."

"Then we better get you outside and moving!" Cass chuckled. "Ready?"

"Totally." Rebecca bumped her hip to Cass's and winked. She slipped into her sneakers and made sure the front door was locked.

"You're going to love the diner. The food is crazy good!"

"Are you always eating?" Rebecca teased.

Cass tried to stop herself but failed miserably. Her glance floated down Rebecca's body and up again. "In one way or another." Fucking word vomit.

Rebecca blushed. She tried to stop it, tried to pretend Cass meant something other than the obvious innuendo, but failed miserably. She decided it was best to ignore the comment — and what it did to her insides — for now.

Cass thought about kicking herself the entire way to the car. Smooth, Cassanova. Go ahead and run her off before she remembers who you are. Idiot.

Cass disengaged the locks of a very sleek, matte black SUV that nearly had Rebecca salivating. She had no clue what kind of car it was, but it was almost as sexy as Cass. "Beautiful car."

Cass opened the passenger door for Rebecca, offering her hand to help Rebecca into the SUV. "It's, uh, yours." There was a slight hesitation before Cass held out the keys. "Would you like to drive it?"

Rebecca's eyebrows shot up. "Mine? How? Why?" She stopped and took a breath. "This is mine?"

Cass nodded. "You ordered it before the surgery, and I just picked it up this morning. You traded in your Mercedes."

"I… had a Mercedes?"

Cass winced. "This is too much, isn't it? Am I overwhelming you? Would you like me to take you back inside?"

"Cass, relax." Rebecca laid a calming hand on Cass's arm. Yeah, she was surprised by all the information. At the same time, she appreciated Cass's being forthcoming — something Aunt Wills had been reluctant to do. "I'm fine. I'm just trying to catch up."

The buttery-smooth leather of the seats welcomed her as Rebecca sat back and waited for Cass to get the hint that she was fine in the passenger seat.

"You sure you don't want to drive?" Cass asked, the Aston Martin SUV purring to life when she pushed the ignition.

"I would love to, but…" Rebecca tapped her noggin. "I don't really recognize anything around here. I'd be lost."

Way to go, Cass."Sorry, I wasn't thinking."

"You don't have to keep saying sorry, Cass. I'm sure this is as awkward for you as it is for me."

Cass glanced over at Rebecca. "I wouldn't say it's awkward. I still feel… right when I'm with you. It's just…"

"Awkward?" Rebecca said, filling in the momentary silence.

Rebecca smiled at Cass to soften the blow of reality. The truth was, she felt right with Cass, too. It was something she couldn't explain to herself, so she stopped trying, instead opting to see where it took her and her memories. She eyed Cass's arm resting on the console, her hand almost waiting for someone to take it.

"Do you drive all the time?"

Cass shook her head. "I think it's a fifty-fifty thing. You like to drive."

"Do we normally… hold hands?"

Cass's eyes flicked from Rebecca to her hand before bringing it to the wheel. Yep, awkward. "Uh, yeah." She stopped herself from saying sorry again. "Habit."

Rebecca reached over and brought Cass's hand back to where it was. Then she threaded their fingers together. Yes, this feels right.

"I hope this doesn't make you uncomfortable."

"Nope. Not even a little," Cass grinned, squeezing Rebecca's hand lightly.

Rebecca peered out the window, watching everything go by. Some things were familiar, but other things were completely different. It confused her how she could wake up one day having lost two decades of her life.

"She never let me have a car," Rebecca stated suddenly, knowing instinctively that Cass knew who she was talking about. She purposefully didn't look at Cass as she remembered why Samantha demanded Rebecca sell her car when they got together. "She said it gave me too much independence, and subs weren't allowed to have independence. I wasn't allowed to go anywhere without her."

Cass squeezed the steering wheel, forcing the hand that was holding Rebecca's to remain relaxed. "Is that why you're having a hard time being cooped up in the house now?"

Rebecca frowned. She hadn't thought of that. Or maybe she had subconsciously. "I don't know." She narrowed her eyes at Cass. "Have you been talking to my aunt, the psychiatrist?"

Cass chuckled. "I mean, I have talked to her in the past. Maybe I'm learning a few things? But it would make sense that if you're… stuck in that time, you'd be a little more anxious about your surroundings."

"Oh, you're good." Rebecca smiled sweetly and went back to watching her surroundings, thinking about what Cass just said. It made sense that Rebecca would be anxious, right? So why wasn't she when she was with Cass? After everything Samantha did to her, how could Rebecca ever feel safe in another relationship? And what type of relationship did they have? Was it normal?

They pulled into a parking lot after some time of quiet driving. Oddly enough, Rebecca felt comfortable in the silence with Cass. There were moments when Cass would gently rub her thumb over Rebecca's, which sent a shiver down Rebecca's spine. The touch caused Rebecca to wonder more about the nature of their relationship. Samantha had never been gentle with Rebecca. Not even in the beginning. They never held hands or acted as a couple. Rebecca was Samantha's sub, and that was the extent of the relationship. Had Rebecca gotten out of that lifestyle once she was rid of Samantha?

"We're here," Cass announced softly as she cut the engine. Rebecca seemed to be deep in thought, Cass hated to interrupt.

Rebecca looked around. Nothing felt familiar to her, yet she felt… at home. "This is quaint."

"Yeah," Cass agreed as she surveyed the area, trying to look at it through the eyes of someone who'd never been here before. "The shop owners pay for the upkeep of the surrounding area." Cass pointed to the store on the corner of the small strip of businesses. "Knight in Bloom donates the flowers and stuff for the landscaping. Sumptor Gallery allows some of the sculptures to be placed out here for the aesthetic."

Rebecca gestured to the diner that took up the opposite corner. "And that place?"

Cass grinned. "Ellie's provides the amazing smells that make people drool. Hang on just a sec." Cass hopped out of the car and jogged around to Rebecca's side, opening the door. "M'lady?"

Charmed, Rebecca took Cass's outstretched hand. "Why thank you." She stepped out of the car and allowed the warm sun and cool breeze to wash over her. "Beautiful," Rebecca whispered, her eyes closed.

Very, Cass agreed silently. She longed to take Rebecca in her arms and hold her tight. She missed feeling Rebecca close to her. It wasn't even the sex she missed. It was the closeness she had with Rebecca. She missed the love that flowed between them with a simple touch. And, oh god, she missed the happiness, passion, and adoration that shone in Rebecca's eyes when she looked at Cass.

"Ready?"

Rebecca opened her eyes and smiled sheepishly at Cass. "Yes, sorry." She didn't know how to explain to Cass that it had felt like forever since she'd felt this… free. Rebecca was convinced that it had more to do with how Cass made her feel than just the rays of sunshine.