23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

Bri

W aking up this morning, I feel the weight of Cain's arm wrapped around me. His firm chest pressed flush against my back allows me to feel the steady rhythm of his heartbeat.

Home.

The thought may have terrified me weeks ago, but now, there is a comfort in knowing I belong somewhere, that I belong with him.

Every fiber of my being knows it to be true, and as I lay listening to the steady pounding, I find myself entirely at ease.

His scent is present in every breath I take, and I can't recall ever sleeping more soundly. No nightmares. No memories. Just rest. Part of me wonders if most people sleep like this all the time.

I'd never had that luxury.

Between Elaine coming home at all hours of the night with random men, foster homes where I couldn't trust the other kids or the adults, and then as an adult who has been kidnapped and nearly trafficked, relaxing is not in my wheelhouse.

Maybe it can be.

Maybe in a world where I'm Awakened, where Cain is by my side, and where I have a wolf to help protect myself from the scum in this world.

Cain's arms squeeze tightly around me, and I feel his lips on the back of my shoulder.

"Morning, Firefly," he says, his voice gravel-filled.

"Pretty sure it's more like afternoon," I say, squinting at the curtains, which only allow a few rays to break through the gap at the center, but by the shadows, the sun is pretty high up.

"Then I guess you don't want breakfast," he says, but his playful tone reveals his intention.

"I didn't say that. Coffee would be amazing. Eggs and bacon would be great, too," I say, rolling myself to face him. "That is if you're offering," I finish and press my lips to his, holding the moment a bit longer than usual.

I could get used to this.

"Keep this up, and I might just have you for breakfast," he says, nipping at my ear before untangling himself from me.

"If there were already coffee, that would certainly sound appealing," I say, snuggling into the spot he vacated and basking in his scent.

The sound of his chuckling echoes off the hallway as he walks out to the main living area and into the kitchen. Pans clanging on the stove and water running lull me back to a snooze-filled sleep until the sizzling of bacon hits my ears along with its mouthwatering aroma.

Rolling over, I walk myself into the bathroom, taking a few minutes to use the restroom and freshen up with the tooth and hair brush we bought yesterday. When I feel a bit more human, I saunter out to join him, pausing only to grab his t-shirt from the day before.

Walking over to the small table outside the open kitchen reminds me of the last time we had breakfast together in my apartment. It's like that moment is frozen in my memory as the ‘us' before. Before Hudson took me. Before Deacon tried to Awaken me. Before I found out the truth, everyone had been hiding from me.

While I know we will never be those people again, part of me wants the normalcy we had in those moments as I made pancakes from a box and talked about plans for the day.

Could we have that again?

"Scrambled, alright?" he says over his shoulder as the steam wafts up in front of him.

"Perfect," I say, scanning the counter for the coffee maker I'd seen yesterday and seeing it already sitting with a full pot.

Nectar of the Gods.

I make a bee-line for it, pulling down two mugs from the cupboard above and filling them both. I grab milk and a few heaping spoonfuls of sugar to add to mine, and I leave Cain's black, just the disgusting way he likes it.

Walking back to the table with both mugs in my hands, I see him placing the eggs onto plates with bacon and buttered toast, and my heart melts at how very domestic it all feels.

"Hear anything from Dante today?" I ask as he sets a plate in front of me.

"No, he hasn't reached out. He won't unless he has to. It's not safe if they know where we are, so I've been keeping my shields up, so I would only feel his request; not his message. But none have come through. I'm hoping no news is good news," he says before taking a bite.

"Are the LLC going to punish them for me leaving?" I ask, not sure how Cain taking me away yesterday left things. He had mentioned that the LLC had officially ruled 3-2 that I should be returned to the Reno Pack, and my DNA puts them as my "home pack" despite me never knowing anything about them.

"That's what they are working through right now. The LLC doesn't take kindly to insubordination, and me taking you instead of allowing you to be handed over will certainly ruffle some feathers. We just have to hope Dante can negotiate a trade with Marlo," he says, his jaw clenching as his wheels turn.

"And if he can't?" I say, scooping a bite of eggs into my mouth.

"Then we will be at war with Reno. They'll attack, and they'll have the LLC's backing," Cain says, leveling his eyes on me with concern. "Dante will do whatever he can to avoid that."

"How?"

"Well, the last night there, we discussed some options with our attorney, Noah Daniels. He plans to appeal the decision on the grounds of bias," he says, shoveling his last bite of eggs into his mouth before continuing. "We hope that will give us a better chance at a fairer group to plead our case to. We need people who understand that your situation is unique, and because of that, allowing you to be with your Mate rather than your home pack is the correct choice."

"Will it be hard to convince them?"

"It shouldn't be. Shifters believe heavily in The Fates and their will to choose the paths we walk. The best way I can explain it is as if it were a religion. They are like God, and our Fated Mates are the soul mates that are chosen for us. Most of us never find our Mates. So when we do, that bond stands over all others. The problem is because you aren't Awakened, and aren't Mated to me, we don't have the marks. It would be impossible for them to separate us if they could see we were Mated. None of our kind would make the decision to split up Fated Mates. We just have to hope whoever presides over the appeal can see reason." He shrugs, idly chewing on the last few bites of his bacon strip.

He's silent for a while after that, and I take the time to finish my breakfast, pondering how I can make this right for everyone. When he grabs my empty plate, I lock eyes with him, hoping he will listen to my plan.

"You need to Awaken me." I pause for emphasis, watching his eyes widen in surprise, and the fight crawls back into him. I lift my hand, silencing him so I can continue.

"It's the only way they will see reason. You said it yourself: if they could see the marks, they wouldn't have a choice but to allow us to be together. So we force their hand." I finish confidence infusing my tone.

It's the only way he will stop hunting me.

It's the only way to keep Dante's pack safe.

Cain's pack.

And someday, my pack.

"It isn't that simple, Firefly," he says, sitting down and leaving the plates in front of him. His shoulders hunch with the heavy weight he's been carrying, and I need him to explain it to me.

"Why not?" I ask, confidence wavering as I see the pain in his eyes.

"Because you can't take it back. Once you are Awakened there is no way to take it back. It's forever," he says, adding emphasis to the word.

"I understand that. I've made my choice. I'd rather embrace this life than spend the rest of it running, scared and weak," I counter, shouting back at him now and standing myself up.

"You've never been weak! But it isn't just about embracing your wolf. Awakening you won't give you the mark. That comes from being Mated, and I will not force you into that," he finishes, anger resonating through his voice.

"You aren't forcing me. I'm asking you to!" I exclaim, frustration boiling under my skin as I slam my hands onto the table before me.

"You don't understand what you are asking for; you couldn't possibly," he says, fists clenching while he tries to hold his temper.

"Then explain it to me. Tell me everything. Let me decide!"

He pushes back from the table in a swift movement, causing me to lean away instinctively, stepping backward until I hit the wall with my heel.

My heart races as he pins me there, arms caging me on either side. His eyes are wild and glowing again, but I find that rather than being afraid, I feel safe. I know at the core of my being that he would never hurt me, so I stand my ground, not looking away as he seethes in front of me.

"Mates are permanent. They cannot be undone; they cannot be traded or altered. What you are asking for is more than marriage. It's a bond that ties our lives together. Our futures would be eternally intertwined."

He slowly sets his forehead on mine, his eyes closing in defeat as I process what he has said.

It cannot be undone.

Permanent.

"Oh," I force out finally, reality hitting me as the sting of rejection starts to slide over my skin.

He doesn't want me forever.

I'm a fool.

The pain that floods me takes me right back to the hospital room. The moment I realized that everything was a lie. A lie I let myself fall for again.

I'm not his forever.

I close my eyes as tears begin to slide down my cheeks. Hoping to hide them, I turn my head down and away from him—anything to keep him from seeing me break.

His hand moves from the wall, gripping my chin roughly as he turns my face to him.

"Look at me, Firefly," he says to my closed eyes. A whimper escapes my throat at the sound of the name, and I wish I could disappear, evaporate into thin air, so I don't have to feel this moment.

His voice shouldn't be able to affect me this much. He just told me he didn't want to be tied to me forever, and I'm a puddle on the floor with a single touch.

I'm pathetic.

Thumbs swipe away the streams of silent tears as I try to find the strength to look at him again.

"We will find a way through this. I promise you that I will do everything in my power to protect you," he says, nothing but sincerity in his tone.

"Why?" I ask, finding my voice.

"Why what, Firefly?"

"Why risk your pack, your family, for me when you don't want to be with me? Why?" I ask, finally opening my eyes to find his no longer glowing and confusion flashing across his face.

"Don't want to be with you? What are you talking about? I only want to be with you. You are my whole world, Firefly. I would give up my life if it meant allowing you to have the life that you wanted." His eyes search mine, sadness replacing the confusion. "Is that what you think? That I don't want to be your Mate? That I don't want to be tied to you forever?"

"You're the one who is saying no," I state, trying to keep the quiver out of my voice.

"For you. Firefly. I'm saying no for you. We're just getting back to the good place we were in before Hudson," he pauses, grimacing at the mention of his fallen pack mate. "You just started to let me back in. I don't want you to feel pressured into deciding this out of fear or obligation. I want you to choose this life. I want you to choose us. I want you to choose me. I need you to choose me." Tears form in his storm-gray eyes, and I see his restraint for the first time.

Why do I always jump to the worst possible conclusion?

He has always shown me this side of him. He's never wavered, never faltered, but the moment he said something I perceived incorrectly, I assumed the most destructive intent.

"This is me choosing you," I say, placing my hand on his cheek and mirroring his motions of wiping away the streams that are falling.

His eyes search mine. What they are looking for, I don't know, but I stand still, holding his gaze, knowing with every part of myself that my words are true.

I choose him.

I choose us.

Forever.