28. Jasper Ridge

28

Jasper Ridge

“ I ’m going to kill that bastard,” I scowled, scrunching my fists by my side.

How could he have done that to her?

How could he have just left her like that?

“No, please don’t do anything,” Lia begged me. “Please, Jasper. Please .”

“He’ll be sorry he ever walked out on you like that—”

Poppy tightened her grip on my hands that still lay around her waist. I completely forgot—I was so at ease with her, just lying there with her under the sunlight listening to the waves…she made me lose all sense of time. Being with her was like my own wonderland and there was nothing more I wanted to do than get lost with her and just forget the world that was so adamant in te aring us apart.

She squeezed my hand again. I guessed it was to stop me from getting up and marching over to the guys and punching Jakson, so he had a matching black eye. He could worry about looking sexy for his fucking drunk hookups after I’d finished beating the shit out of him.

One rule.

One. Fucking. Rule .

That was all I gave him.

Don’t , under any fucking circumstances, hurt her.

But he did and now he was going to wish he was in one of Belle’s fairy tales because there was nothing happy about the way this would end for him.

“Listen to her, Jas. Trust her. You don’t need to jump straight in at a hundred miles an hour to save her. To save all of us. Just breathe and let Lia talk, I’m sure it will make more sense once we know the whole story.”

Why did she have to make so much Goddamn sense?

You don’t need to jump straight in at a hundred miles an hour to save her. To save all of us.

How could I not? Lia was my family—that girl was like my little sister, and I’d go to the ends of the earth on her behalf. She’d fought alone for too long in this cruel world so the least I could do was have her back.

I’d grown up with her—all those years side by side, separated by only a fence…but that never stopped us. I remembered building a fort of pillows with her in the living room, sneaking popcorn and a million stuffed teddies, and streaming cheesy 90s Rom-coms on her dad’s laptop.

I also remembered how she disappeared afterwards for days and then came back like it was nothing.

Perhaps it was just a one off? But it wasn’t.

Every time she came back, she was a little less Lia .

She quit ballet without even a word, stopped giggling and smiling all the time.

Some days I didn’t even recognize her.

Yet, all I could do was hope that she wouldn’t ever lose herself.

There were times when Lia tried to push me away, times when she was so scared about how I would react to the ugly and dark side of her life .

But she had nothing to worry about because I wasn’t going anywhere.

Ever .

I remembered flicking through my new Spiderman comic, sprawled across her comforter at one end whilst she read through all the new recipes in the cookbook I’d taken from my mom’s shelf in the kitchen at the other.

It was quiet…until it wasn’t .

The shouting came first, then the shattered plates and stolen screams. Small footsteps running up the stairs two at a time fearing the worst. The awkward squeak as the door opened, pushed by two pairs of tiny fingers.

I remembered the old, dusty smell of her closet we all huddled inside. The melodies that left her lips barely higher than a whisper. Small hands that clutched mine, gripping so tightly to my skin it almost cut off all the blood to my fingers.

We stayed like that for what felt like hours, listening to the voices of her parents through the walls.

That was the day my life changed forever.

That was the day I realized just how strong Lia Davis actually was—to be able to walk around with the biggest smile on her face whilst carrying the weight of all her siblings on her back. What was worse was that I didn’t even think she gave herself a break. Ever . She was living on this highway that was constantly moving—constantly on edge, waiting for the next sign of danger: the slight raise in a voice, the slight change in footsteps up the stairs.

She was their protector, but who was hers?

“I…I was going to leave after you left early this morning. My parents called me last night a hundred times, but I didn’t see any of them. I was just delaying the inevitable by staying there, Jasper, and that’s what we fought about. He…he tried to get me to stay. He wanted me and my siblings to stay, and we fought, and…”

Her voice broke. She looked on the verge of crying but was holding herself back by whatever slither of determination she had left. That was Lia, though.

Where I got angry, she got sad, because Lia Davis had spent her entire life learning how to keep her thoughts quiet and her rage even quieter. She never lost control, fighting every sliver of violence that called to her because in the end, she never wanted to end up like him . If she allowed herself to feel angry, it was as if she was letting him win , proving to him what she had spent her whole life fighting: that she was just like him.

“—and he shouted at me. He slammed the door, and he left . I spent over an hour , Jasper, comforting the twins because they were so afraid that it would all start over again. That his house might just be filled with monsters as well. Hours . Belle wouldn’t even look at me. Do you know how hard that is? To convince all of your little siblings that they won’t get hurt again even though they all know it’s a lie? It’s impossible, Jasper. It’s impossible and I can’t keep doing this.”

My heart dropped to my feet.

Fuck .

Without wasting a second, I pulled away from Poppy and jumped to my feet. Lia’s eyes darted across my face, scared and hesitant. I tugged her to my chest before she could think about what I was doing. There were tears forming in the corners of my eyes, but I didn’t care. I needed to hold her—to be there for her. I needed her to feel, to see that I would always be there for her. No matter what .

She pulled back just as fast, uncertainty glistening in those dark, ocean blue eyes, before throwing her arms around my neck and holding onto me as her knees buckled from beneath her. I caught her weight, holding her against my chest.

“I-I didn’t know what to do…” She sobbed onto my shoulder, body shaking against mine. “I didn’t know.”

“It’s okay,” I hummed, idly stroking the back of her hair. “It’s okay, Lils. I’ve got you.”

Poppy stood up but her gaze wasn’t fixed on us…she was squinting out into the ocean.

I pulled back slightly, trying to grasp at what she was looking at.

“Is that—”

He seriously couldn’t be that stupid, could he?

“ Jakson ?”

Lia’s head snapped up at the mention of his name. Her eyes followed my line of sight to where no one other than Jakson fucking Calloway was already on his surfboard, paddling out over the waves .

It was so hard to be mad at him when his technique was near flawless, just like I’d taught him. Pride and rage battled in my heart. But one glance at Lia’s swollen red lips and puffy eyes was enough to make my vision latch onto him, dripping red.

Jakson aligned his board up with the coming wave before cresting it as it approached. He was propelled forward, striking each high point scoring move exactly like we’d trained. If he stuck it out through this without fucking it up, I’d congratulate the fuck out of him before punching his smug face. For Lia, and for me, and the rest of his teammates.

This entire show was reckless of him. We had a routine, he knew exactly where to go, how to warm up…and yet he was there, on the waves, showing off like a complete jackass. The heats didn’t start for another ten minutes yet there he was, disobeying every one of our rules as a team. As his friend, I found myself rooting for him each time he twisted the board into another position, riding the wave through, but as his captain?

I was fucking pissed at him.

Then, no other than Nathan Slater appeared.

Nate was now paddling out onto the waves wearing the biggest fucking smirk I’d ever seen, and I lived with fucking Jakson Calloway for crying out loud. The commentators for the heats started to pick up on what we all stopped to watch and began shooting out all kinds of bullshit about the two of them.

“He shouldn’t be out there, Jasper.”

“I fucking know that,” I snapped. I immediately closed my mouth, sending Poppy an apologetic glance. I didn’t mean to snap at her, it just…came out. She sent a small nod my way and the guilt building in my stomach started to ease.

“What the hell is that idiot doing?”

Lachlan, Xander, and Kai appeared besides us. All three of them had their wetsuits hung low around their waists with their boards tucked beneath their arms.

“How’s our girl doing?” Lachlan nudged Lia’s side playfully, smiling down at her as he took off the wired headphones from around his neck. He offered her the other earbud. Lia hesitated before taking it, offering him a small smile back. It took a huge amount of effort not to stare because the only person’s headphones I’d ever seen her wear were Jakson’s. He always kept them with him. I knew she was trying to show Lachlan—show all of them that she was okay. I doubted she really was.

Hell , I doubted that she had been okay for a long time now.

“He’s going to seriously hurt himself if he doesn’t stop, Cap,” Kai stated, looking directly at me whilst the others glanced out into the distance. “There’s a reason we all warm up beforehand.”

“He didn’t even meet us for prep like you told us all too with coach. He just got here and paddled straight out,” Lachlan chimed in, glancing between us all as he dug his board into the sand to lean against it. “You should’ve seen him, Jas. He was so fucking pissed off it was crazy.”

Lachlan offered Lia his hand and she took it, leaning back against his chest. Something he whispered to her had her smiling again, but it only took a few seconds for that to disappear too.

Xander’s cold glare settled on me. “ Fuck that. He’s being reckless, and you’re his captain. What the fuck are we doing here? You need to teach him to stop being so impulsive and stop fucking letting him get away with it constantly. It’s utter bullshit , man.” He looked to Lia then, gaze softening as he did—the coldness replaced by something else. I wasn’t sure what it was…but it was more than he did for anyone else.

Then, Xander smiled for her.

His lips pulled upwards, strained. The whole motion looked uncomfortable for him…but he still did it for her. Lia had always shown everyone that they were worthy of being loved, and for that, he would always share some lonely, torn out part of his blackened heart with her.

I realized then it wasn’t just me who saw Lia like family. We all did in our own ways. Lachlan had always tried to make her smile like the ridiculous comedian we all knew him as, and not once had I ever seen him not be successful in pulling a grin to her lips, if only for a few fleeting seconds.

And Kai? He looked out for her in every way that he could. Granted, he was always busy at the diner helping out his parents, or buried neck deep in essays or a book about the philosophy of god knows what…but he always made time to see her.

Lia may have lost her only biological older brother, but she gained four more in all of us. And even though I knew she loved us all in her own way, none of it compared to her love for Jakson Calloway, and if it came down to saving the world or saving him, she would choose him, every time .

Because Jakson Calloway was her world.

There was no world for Lia Davis where Jakson Calloway didn’t exist.

She treasured him and his place in her life. It wasn’t just like he was a piece of a puzzle, easily removable from her life. No , he was entwined with every inch of her soul because whatever those two were made of it was the same in every way that counted.

All I ever wanted was to be enough for her, for them both, but I knew that I would always come second, and you know, that fucking sucked .

I’d known her practically all my life—I was the one who held her when she couldn’t breathe from crying too hard, the one who hid with her and her siblings each time the voices got too loud…I was always there for her, but none of that mattered.

She chose him a long time ago, and I just had to be okay with that. Otherwise, I risked losing her entirely. Risked losing them both .

Thinking about my teammates and everything they’d done for not only Lia, but for each other—it was another kind of pain. The kind that sneaked up on you when you least expected it. We never once fell apart from each other. Despite all of our struggles, together, they made us stronger.

They made us a family .

Not one of us had any kind of normal childhood, and I think, maybe if we did, none of us would be here right now as close to one another as we were.

“Look at them now! Fighting for waves, bringing their all…but who will end up on top?”

The commentators voice boomed like a jackhammer to my skull. Nate angled his board so that he nudged Jakson out of the way, sending him stumbling. Lia gasped, drawing in a sharp intake of air. Everyone was watching now, holding their breaths as they both tried to fuck each other over. Surf etiquette be damned, they were acting like reckless idiots .

“He can’t do that!” Lachlan yelled, brows crossed in rage across his forehead. His grip tightened around Lia who looked as pale as a ghost watching them fight out on the waves.

“Everyone knows Nate doesn’t give a crap about rules.” Xander spat on the sand, those cold, whiskey eyes narrowing like daggers.

Jakson managed to save his ass from being thrown into the deep below and climbed back onto his board. Nate was paddling back out when Jakson caught a wave. He dove into the highest point scoring combo we practiced together, nailing each move with precision. I could feel the boys watching him—eyeing each move he threw himself into and mentally noting down how he pulled it off.

Even Poppy was watching him with a hint of admiration in her fierce gaze.

The only one unfazed by his surfing magic was Lia. She looked like she’d been kissed by death, watching him with bated breath. Each move he drove himself into made her flinch—the movement was so subtle not even Lachlan caught it, despite her body resting up against his.

If Jakson was here, he would’ve noticed it.

If he was here, he would’ve seen just how terrified she became for him whenever he surfed.

But he wasn’t here, was he?

He left her. He left them all.

I drew in a breath, my chest tightening. I knew Jakson Calloway—I’d been picking his drunken ass off the floor since seventh grade. Even before that, I was keeping him above the waves every damned day. I watched as he threw his life away slowly over the years. Despite how many times I tried to stop him, the alcohol always won. I’d been enabling him my entire life, but it was either that or risk losing him, and somehow, letting him slowly kill himself was better than losing him entirely.

I watched as he turned from Lego to whiskey, from humor to silence. Watched as he disappeared into a shade of gray for days on end, only to return all smiles and jokes and laughter. It was brushed away, hidden under the rug that dampened the darkness of his life.

That was how he coped.

He drank. He disappeared. He silenced himself.

Jakson Calloway was the epitome of happiness until you looked past all of that and saw him . Saw past the humor he used to cope with, past the flashy grins and lying eyes.

Underneath all of those defensive masks was a boy who silenced himself because that was all he knew. His parents never taught him that it was okay to feel , and because of that, he pushed away any hint of emotion that touched him .

He kept it all in because no one had ever given him that safe space for him to let it all out.

It was bottled up, buried, and burned.

He isolated himself from the world because he didn’t think he was worth anything —they never showed up for him, never once watched him pick up that surfboard and decide that it was going to be his lifeline. That this sport was going to give him more of a home than they ever did for him.

Jakson Calloway was the original lost boy who was still searching for his place in this world. His empty home echoed with every breath he let out, every step he took. The loneliness swallowed him whole.

So, he searched for ways to fill the silence.

He thought by making other people laugh, it would fill that blackened, blistering hole inside of him. That he could scrub away the silence and replace it with a constant ringing of happiness. It never mattered to him that all that joy would never belong to him, that he would never get to feel like them. So long as they laughed at him, he wouldn’t feel so alone. He wouldn’t be so alone.

So, I laughed along with him.

Never at him .

I picked him off the floor, washed his vomit-stained shirts. And in return, he opened up his big, empty house for us all, creating what would become to be our safe space. Our hideaway. Our home . Something we all craved in our own ways. For some it was the security, the sense of belonging…but I needed the stability , the reassurance that I had them, that I could rely on them, and they wouldn’t leave me too.

They wouldn’t be taken away from my life like my dad was.

They wouldn’t be erased into memories, into nothingness .

I’d never considered how different my life would’ve been if I hadn’t met Jakson Calloway. It had never crossed my mind. He was my brother, my best friend. Yet he was still just a kid ; a kid who had to raise himself, and when the road got tough, he turned his head to be met with a blank wall of an empty house. They should’ve been standing there. He looked every time hoping the next one would finally be different, that they would finally show up for him…but they never did.

It was Lia and I who sat in the hospital room with him after he broke his first bone. Huddled together on that small cot, shivering as crisp winter snow settled outside. Wires and tubes. The constant beeping.

Jakson spent a week in that hospital room.

And they never once showed up to comfort him, something about a business conference too important to miss.

Something that was more important than him.

So, Lia and I stayed by his side every step of the way.

We played snap, and like every time we played, Jakson let Lia win.

She thought she was amazing at cards.

He thought that she was amazing just because she was her.

He’d been in love with that girl since the day he set eyes on her.

From that very first look, I knew that there was nothing I could do to stop Jakson Calloway. He’d given her his heart before he even knew what love meant.

And even if she turned it away, it would always belong to her.

Neither of us imagined we’d have to live in a world without him.

Not until the two surfers collided.

Not until they both went

under

the

waves.