Chapter 18

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

brADEN

What. The. FUCK?!

Was Dani actually trying to tell me that I'd knocked her sister up? That the postpartum infection she'd died from was a result of my negligence?

No, there was no way that was possible. I knew better than to stick my dick in a woman without a raincoat. A raincoat I provided, so there was no chance of her poking a hole in it to try to get an easy payday.

Wait. A payday. Was this Dani's way of trying to get more money out of me? She'd taken her time. Told her sob story to make me care about her. And then waited for the right time to pull this bullshit on me.

Fuck me, I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe she'd be so conniving and heartless. That narrative just didn't jibe with everything I'd seen from her in the past several weeks. But I didn't know what other explanation there was.

"What the fuck makes you think—" I started to growl.

"God, you really don't remember her, do you?" Dani cut me off, letting out a humorless, watery chuckle as she swiped at the tears on her cheeks. "How many girls did you fuck last summer in West Palm Beach? Ten? Twenty? Fifty?! How many were there that you don't even remember their fucking names or what they looked like?!"

Oh. My. God.

My stomach dropped to the floor as the realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

"Amara," I whispered. "Fuck."

The memory that had been trying to wriggle its way free ever since Malachi had mentioned Amara's name. The reason Dani had looked so familiar to me when we first met.

Yeah, the extent of my relationship with her sister had been hooking up a few times in West Palm Beach, and then we'd gone our separate ways. We'd both agreed on that. And yeah, I hadn't really thought about her since then. But still. I should have known. I should have remembered.

As much as I wanted to deny what Dani was saying, I couldn't. Because now that she'd jogged my memory, I knew in my gut that little boy was mine. The connection I felt to him was just too strong. So was the way all my worries had seemed to melt away last night the second I picked him up. And those big brown eyes and that cute little nose? They were mine.

Which meant she was right. I was responsible for Amara's death. I hadn't been able to keep my fucking dick in my pants, she'd gotten pregnant, and now she was dead because of it.

How was I supposed to live with that? There was no fixing this. No making it right. I couldn't bring Dani's sister back from the dead. I couldn't jump in a time machine, go back to that night at the bar, and tell myself to stay the hell away from Amara.

And the worst part was, even if I could have, I wasn't sure I wanted to. Because if I'd never met Amara and Dani that night, if Amara and I had never conceived Isaac, then I wouldn't have been here now. I would never have gotten to know this incredible woman who was sitting next to me with tears and mascara streaming down her face and a hoarse voice from all the screaming and crying she'd done tonight.

"I know you don't give a fuck about the girls you sleep with," Dani sobbed. "I know she was just a number to you. But she was my fucking sister , asshole! And now she's dead!"

"She wasn't a number, Dani," I choked out, unable to find the words to verbalize any of the plethora of burning questions in my mind. "I swear she wasn't."

"Right," she scoffed. "And that's why you gave her a phone number that forwarded to your fucking publicist."

My hands started shaking and my blood turned to lava in my veins as another piece of this puzzle slotted into place and the picture started to become clearer. There were still parts of this story that didn't make sense, but I had a feeling I could trace all of them back to one common source.

"Fucking Vicki," I growled.

"Yeah. Fucking Vicki," she bit out. "The woman you told to throw money at Amara for an abortion. And when she wouldn't take it and said she was keeping the baby, you told Vicki to threaten her with pressing stalking and harassment charges and a defamation lawsuit if she didn't stop calling and keep her trap shut about who the father was."

Gripping the steering wheel so tightly that my knuckles turned white, I took a long, deep inhale through my nose and tried my best to let it out slowly. I'd just spent the better part of an hour smashing and breaking shit to relieve the stress of this mess with my stalker, and now I felt like I needed to go do that all over again to process this grenade that had just been dropped on me.

But Dani didn't need to see me explode. Because no matter how mad I wanted to be at her for not saying something the second she'd first walked through my door, I just couldn't be. Not when she was this devastated. Not when she'd already been through so much.

And not when none of this was her fault. I needed to save my ire and direct it toward the one person who did deserve it: my two-faced rancid bitch cuntface of a publicist.

"It wasn't me," I rasped. "I didn't know. She never told me Amara called my old number. I swear on my life, Dani, I had no idea. If I'd known…God, you have to know I never would have let her say or do any of that. I never would have let Amara – or you – do this alone. I'm sorry, Dani. I'm so fucking sorry."

Dani's expression changed from ire to…fuck, I didn't even know what. Defeat. Agony. Complete and utter desolation.

"She…not one time? Not a single one of our half-dozen phone calls?"

I shook my head. "She never said a goddamn thing. And she'll never get a chance to do anything like this again. She's fucking fired. Starting yesterday. From that whole motherfucking firm, if I have anything to say about it. But you know what? As fucked up as this is, one good thing came out of it. She brought us together. Because if she hadn't suggested this ridiculous arrangement, we wouldn't have found each other again. For God knows what fucking reason, she tried to keep my son from me, but she ended up helping me find him anyway."

"No. She didn't bring us together. She tore us apart." Dani's voice was thick with the tears that were pouring down her face like a waterfall. "I can't do this anymore, Braden. I can't keep pretending we're living some perfect fairytale love story when the truth is so twisted and ugly. I can't keep losing sleep wondering why you care so much about me when you didn't want a damn thing to do with Amara after you used her and tossed her aside like garbage. And I can't let myself keep falling for you when she died hating your guts."

Just like that, a little spark lit up inside me.

Yes, our relationship was a huge, tangled mess right now. We still had a lot to talk about and work through. I still needed to find out why the hell she'd kept this from me for so long. And that wasn't a conversation we needed to have while we were both this raw.

But the way I felt about her? That wasn't going away. And now that I'd heard her say she was falling for me too, even if she wouldn't let herself give in to it yet…well, once again, I dared to hope.

Dani took a deep breath as she unbuckled her seatbelt and started to open the car door. "I'll pay you back every penny and tell Lina she doesn't have a j?—"

"Like hell," I cut her off, harsher than I'd intended. "That's my son. I'm not about to?—"

"We don't need your charity," she snarked.

"It's not charity, sweetheart."

I mentally kicked myself as the endearment slipped out before I could stop it. This wasn't the time, and I knew it. But calling her "beautiful" and "sweetheart" was as natural as breathing at this point.

"Guilt, then," she clipped out. "Whatever it is, we don't need it. We can get by just fine without you."

Fuck, she was killing me right now. I knew what she was doing. She was trying to make a clean break. Protect herself from any more heartache because she'd already been through so much and she couldn't handle anything else.

But she wasn't going to get rid of me that easily.

"I know you can, Dani. But you don't have to. I'm going to provide for Isaac, and that means providing for you too. Not because I feel guilty – even though I do, more than you'll ever know – or because I feel obligated, but because you're both my family and I care about you."

That other word, the one I'd never said to a woman before, was on the tip of my tongue. I was desperate to find some way to make her understand how deep my feelings for her and her baby boy – no, our baby boy – went. Yet I couldn't say it. Not now. Not like this.

"I can't," she gasped on a trembling breath. "I can't do this."

When the car door opened all the way and one of her legs slid out of the seat, I reached out and gently grabbed her arm.

"Dani, plea?—"

"Let go , Braden!" she wailed as she yanked her arm from my grasp, got out of the car, and slammed the door behind her.

"FUCK!!!" I screamed, banging the steering wheel with both hands. "GOD DAMN IT!!!"

As I watched Dani make a mad dash for the staircase, it took everything I had not to get out and run after her. I hated the thought of leaving her alone while she was falling apart like this, but at the same time, I knew I was the last person on the planet that she wanted to be with right now.

Then I remembered she wouldn't be alone. Morgan was up there taking care of Isaac.

Fuck. Me.

Morgan.

Dani's best friend was Malachi's girlfriend. And Malachi had been the one who'd told me about Dani and her situation. About how a professional football player had gotten Amara pregnant and then sicced his publicist on her and Dani rather than manning up and taking responsibility for the life he'd helped create, even after finding out Amara was dead.

They. Fucking. Knew. They'd known all along. And they hadn't said one goddamn word to me about it.

My brakes let out a loud screech as I peeled into the driveway at Malachi's house. Throwing the door open so hard I was surprised it didn't come off its hinges, I jumped out of my car, then slammed the door closed with just as much force. And then I stormed up to his front door and banged my fist on it so hard, the entire wall vibrated.

"Malachi! Get your ass out here!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, pounding on the door again.

A light flipped on in the living room, and a few seconds later, my so-called friend appeared in the doorway.

"B, what?—"

I surged forward, gripping his shoulders and pushing him back against the wall in his foyer. Not hard enough to hurt him, but enough to make him pay fucking attention.

"Motherfucker! How could you?! I thought you were my fucking friend!"

His eyes got as big as saucers as utter shock and confusion crossed his face. "Whoa, B! Back up. How could I what?"

"How could you call yourself my friend and not tell me I had a fucking son ?" I growled. "How could you let Amara and Dani suffer and not do a damn thing about it? How could you not say one fucking word to me about any of this for a whole goddamn year?"

Realization washed over his face. "Isaac… He's yours?"

"Don't fucking act like you didn't know!" I roared. "You and Morgan were Dani's only support system after Amara died! That's why you told me about her, isn't it? So you could try to make me do what any man with a shred of fucking decency would have done from the beginning?"

Malachi gently shoved me backward, keeping his hands on my biceps. I tore myself out of his grasp, spun around, and let my fist fly into the opposite wall so hard that a crack appeared in the drywall. He tried to grab me again, but once again, I jerked away, cocking my arm back for another swing.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I snarled. "Lying son of a bitch!"

"I didn't know, Braden!" he yelled. "I didn't know!"

Fist still hanging in the air, I froze and turned to look at him.

"Did you hear me, man?" he said, much calmer this time. "I. Didn't. Know."

Dropping to my knees, I let out a gut-wrenching scream as a sob started to creep its way up my throat. "FUUUUUCK!!!"

I heard the sound of the front door shutting and locking before Malachi was kneeling next to me and ducking his head down to catch my gaze. There was hesitation in his eyes, like I was a feral animal he was afraid would attack.

"Braden, take a deep breath. We're going to talk about this, but I need you to calm the fuck down first. You hear me?"

Blowing out a long breath, I nodded. As livid and confused and betrayed as I felt right now, yelling and blind rage wouldn't solve anything or get me the answers I needed, and I knew it.

"You straight now?" he asked after a few seconds, raising his eyebrows at me.

I nodded.

"Okay," he said, taking a slow, controlled inhale. "First, I'm going to let this one slide because I know you're upset, but if you ever insult my mother again, I will kick your ass. Got it?"

I let out a humorless snort. "Got it."

"Good. Now, let's get one thing clear. I had no clue who Isaac's father was. Neither did Morgan. All Dani and Amara said was that he was a pro football player. We never would have kept something like that from you."

Just as quickly as my ire toward him had consumed me, it flooded out of me, leaving only confusion and anguish in its wake.

And fear. So much fear. Fear that I'd never see Dani or my son again. Fear that if I did end up seeing them again, I wouldn't be able to be the kind of father that little boy deserved. Fear that my stalker would learn the truth about Isaac's parentage and do something to hurt one – or both – of them.

"She…she really never told you?" I choked out.

Malachi shook his head. "Nope." Getting to his feet, he held his hand out to help me up. "Come sit down. I'll get you a beer."

I took a deep breath as I followed him into the living room and sat on the couch. "I don't need to be drinking right now."

As much as I wanted to just get shitfaced and forget all about this clusterfuck, I couldn't do that. Dani and Isaac both deserved better. They deserved a grown-ass adult, not a man-child who thought taking a tire iron to a twenty-year-old computer was a healthy outlet for stress relief. Someone who was capable of being a loving, caring partner to her and a role model to that little boy.

"Well, I'm definitely not giving you coffee. You're already about to climb the fucking walls. Um…I think Morgan has some kind of froufrou herbal tea somewhere."

I chuckled weakly. "I don't need anything, man. I'm good. And I'm sorry about your wall. I'll pay for the damage."

"Shit, man. If I thought you'd kept something like this from me, I wouldn't have stopped at punching a wall. That pretty-boy face of yours would be black and blue right now," he said as he took a seat next to me. "Speaking of which…that goddamn publicist, who I assume was Vicki, had those girls terrified of getting arrested for stalking and harassment and getting slapped with a hundred-thousand-dollar defamation lawsuit. I tried to get them to tell me who that boy's father was so many times, told them I'd hire the best lawyer money could buy, and they still wouldn't say."

A growl rumbled in my chest as I rested my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my palms. "I'm going to fucking kill that bitch."

"You want some help hiding the body?" he said with a weak chuckle.

"Don't tempt me," I muttered. "I'm bringing Glenn with me to that goddamn office first thing Monday morning. I'm not just ending my contract with her. I want her out of that company. Blackballed from the entire damn industry."

"I'll come with you," he said immediately. "The bigger show of force you have, the better."

"Why…why didn't she tell me, Mal?" I rasped as my eyes started to sting.

"Because she's an evil fucking shrew," he bit out.

"Not Vicki. Dani," I clarified. "Why didn't she say something sooner? The second she showed up at my house? Hell, why did she even agree to any of this in the first place if she thought I was that much of a heartless asshole? Was she trying to get back at me for what happened to Amara?"

He shook his head. "No, that's not Dani's style. Never has been. She doesn't have a malicious or deceitful bone in her body. She was…fuck, B, Mar's death paralyzed her, and she was so desperate to find a way to make it work with Isaac that she would have done just about anything. Your fucking asinine plan to hire someone to pretend to be your girlfriend was a godsend for her. It was also a last resort."

"I know it was, but…I mean, she could have said something to me. Screamed at me for abandoning Isaac the day we met."

He blew out a long breath. "You have no idea how damn cruel Vicki was to her. She was fucking sadistic. The girls wouldn't give us Vicki's name, but they told us what the conniving snake said to them. When Dani called one last time the day she brought Isaac home from the hospital and asked if Vicki could pass on a message that Amara was dead, she actually told Dani that she didn't care if her sister had been abducted by aliens and that you didn't ever want to hear from her again. That was the last time she threatened to press charges and file a lawsuit, and Dani was so terrified of losing custody of Isaac if that happened that she decided that was it and she'd do it on her own."

My blood started boiling all over again. Why the fuck had Vicki done any of this shit? I knew she was obsessed with optics in the press, but to go so far as to keep my fucking child – who I'd been an all-too-willing participant in creating – from me? And then to be so cruel to the mother of that child, who was begging for me to step up to the plate and be a father? Who did that?

"She had no one but you," I sniffed as I balled my hand into a fist.

"Yep, pretty much. I did what I could for her. Had groceries delivered. Watched Isaac a few times when I didn't have other commitments. Hell, I even had Morgan just slip some cash into her purse when she wasn't looking a couple of times. But she knew she needed to find something sustainable, and she didn't want handouts."

"And then Morgan told her about my offer," I finished for him. "And she needed the money so badly that she didn't care where it came from."

Fuck, just thinking about how desperate and exhausted and devastated she'd been that day made my heart squeeze so tight I could hardly breathe. I never wanted to see her that way again. I wouldn't let it happen. No matter what.

"Pretty much," he agreed. "I can't say for sure, but given what I know about her, she probably never meant for you to find out who she was. She probably planned on doing what you needed her to do and just walking away once it was over. You can't be mad at her for trying to provide for that little man."

"I'm not," I murmured. "I don't think I'm capable of getting mad at her. I just wish I'd known so I could have been there for her from the beginning. And now I've fucked it all up."

"What do you mean?"

"I, uh…I kissed her when I was dropping her off at home tonight. She stopped me and reminded me this relationship was business, and I told her it wasn't just business to me anymore. Begged her to let me rip up that contract and give this a real shot. I pushed it too far, and she snapped and the floodgates opened and she just started screaming . Shit, Mal. I've never seen someone look so…so fucking shattered. Like her whole world came crashing down all over again. I just…I just want…" I trailed off as I swallowed the lump in my throat.

It was useless saying what I wanted, because I wasn't going to get it. Not now, and probably not ever.

"Whoa, wait a second. Did I just hear Braden Hicks admit he's found a woman he wants for more than a night?" he mock gasped.

I rolled my eyes. "It doesn't matter what I want. She hates me, and I don't blame her. I hate me right now. Her sister's dead because I couldn't keep my dick in my pants."

Malachi shook his head and put a hand on my shoulder. "No, B. Don't go there, man. Amara had a chronic illness she didn't know about, and her body had already been through so much stress from delivering that beautiful baby boy that it just couldn't handle anything else. An infection killed her, not you."

"But if I hadn't…" My voice cracked as I tried desperately to contain my emotions. "If I hadn't gotten her pregnant?—"

"Stop, Braden," he cut me off, shifting on the couch so he could look me in the eyes. "This isn't your fault. It's no one's fault. It's just a fucking shitty, unfair thing that happened. And as for Dani, she doesn't hate you. She's upset and grieving and overwhelmed, but she doesn't hate you. If she did, she'd just cut you out of her life without a word."

"She tried. She said she couldn't do this anymore and stormed out of the car," I sniffed, squeezing my eyes shut to stop the tears from leaking out.

"Yeah, but she was fighting with you before that. That means she cares enough to fight. Just give her some time and let her know you'll still be here when she's ready to talk. She'll come around."

I nodded and took a deep breath, then took out my phone. I wanted so much to hear Dani's voice again, even if it was her shouting at me some more, but calling her wasn't what she needed right now. She needed space. So I settled for a text. One message. Then the ball would be in her court.

Me

I know you need space right now, beautiful. And I'll give you as much as you need. But just know I'm not going anywhere. I'll always be here for you and Isaac, no matter what. I care too much about both of you to walk away.