22. Chapter Twenty-One

Chapter Twenty-One

Ava had watched him run and didn't follow. She'd stood in stunned confusion as he spun, leaving her alone in the great hall surrounded by her pack mates. The animal beneath her skin had known something was wrong before the human part of her had recognized it.

Something guilty, something dark, had slithered through their mating bond on the heels of his exit. What it was, she couldn't tell, but it felt other, not intrinsic to the man she hoped to call mate. It felt removed from him, foreign even.

And when the emotions jumbled together on her end, there was one thing she felt more keenly than anything else: shame.

That was why she'd given him the time he needed and went to her quarters to bake the stress away.

When it'd cleared from their ghosting bond and relief washed through their connection like a cleansing breath, she'd started toward her door to seek him out. Fortunately, she didn't have to go too far.

A knock announced his arrival. Ava gave him her best scowl. "Tied to a chair, slathered in wet cat food, and fed to ravenous kittens."

"What a perfectly terrible way to go."

"Be happy it wasn't catnip and snow leopards." She popped a hip and fisted a hand on it. "You gonna tell me why you took off?"

"Where would be the mystery in that? Besides, I have a—wait. Are those brownies I smell?"

He brushed past her into the kitchen, beaming when he got a good look at what was waiting on her counter.

"You made brownies!"

Ava nodded. "Just for you, dear Remmus."

Instead of delighting him, it had the exact opposite effect. "You made them for me? Why? What do you want?"

The suspicious reaction tore at her heart. Though she longed to know why he'd changed so suddenly, she didn't want to have a confrontation until she got to the bottom of his emotional state.

"I can't make them for you because I wanted to?"

"I don't—"

His voice broke as he looked away. The shame that funneled through their bond took her breath away, the depth of it staggering. She physically flinched, and she couldn't do anything but reach out toward him. Capturing his hand, she squeezed it.

"Hey, it's okay," she breathed. "Whatever it is, we'll work through it."

A tremor shivered through him, but he didn't turn back to her as he said, "That—that baggage I told you about before, Ava: my childhood was not a happy one."

Swallowing, he pivoted back to finally meet her gaze. What she saw there was shadowed with a darkness she'd only glimpsed in him before, and it made her eyes burn. His handsome face was full of pain that'd never abated.

"My parents were abusive," he whispered. "It's not something I can run from or just leave behind. I don't think I will ever stop feeling the effects of it. What I'm saying is … I'm tainted. Forever."

Ava's heart dropped to her feet. Knowing that he'd been abused as a child made her realize that the confusing reactions she'd seen stemmed from something much deeper. From the way he said it, it was clear his self-worth was skewed, and that his parents had suffocated parts of his personality from a very early age. Her wolf whined within her as she tried to keep her tears from falling.

"You aren't tainted, Remmus." Everything in her believed it. "I see you—the true you. And you're a good man."

"You don't understand. My parents—"

"Sound like terrible people," she finished. "You are not your parents. Their sins aren't yours."

"But—"

Her palm cupped his cheek, silencing him with a shake of her head. "They aren't."

For a moment, Remmus looked like he wanted to believe her. Gone was the infectious smile and the dimple in his cheek. He looked older, more weary, as he reached out and squeezed her fingers.

"My parents took great delight in ‘reminding me of my place', as they called it," he began. "Since before I could walk, they tried to mold me into something I wasn't. Nothing I ever did was good enough. I was never good enough. And when I failed—"

Remmus hesitated, and Ava's gut churned. The shame she'd felt before crept through their mating bond. He looked away, avoiding her gaze, as he grappled with what came next.

"What happened when you failed?"

"When I failed," he whispered, "I was forced to punish myself."

A thread of fear trickled through their bond as Remmus slowly rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. The raging river, inked over unblemished skin, rippled. As the transfiguration fell away, Ava flinched.

Grooves and ridges marked the span of skin between his wrist and elbow. Some were old, flattened and flexible with time, while others bore the tell-tale pink of a new line. It meant that this wasn't purely in the past; Remmus had continued to self-harm.

"Remmus."

Throwing her arms around him, Ava sobbed into his chest. Every time he'd left her on the heels of his failures, he'd acted upon his parents' memory. His shame—and the fear associated with being found out—had driven him away from her.

His hand gently sifted through her hair. "My transfiguration hides them. Both the ones on my arm and … and the others."

Her heart squeezed in her chest. "What others, Remmus?"

"My parents told me no clan would ever take me in." He tapped his chest right above his heart. "They carved an X on my chest where many men receive their clan marks. After I was old enough to hold a knife, they forced me to do it myself."

All Ava could say was "Monsters."

"My parents were one of the only mated pairs ever documented who were both born of destruction. At the core of their beings was an insatiable need to cause harm, and without a counterbalance, they'd both given in to the evil inside. I was born of creation, and my parents despised me for it. They tried to mold me into what they idolized as the perfect person: one who never forgave, never apologized, and would never be weak."

Clinging to him, Ava fought through a wave of dizziness. He'd hidden so much of what'd happened behind smoke and mirrors, but the truth remained: Remmus had never hurt her, not once, even though he'd been brutalized before he could walk.

It made sense: why he'd rarely apologized, never said thank you, and why he reacted so poorly to failure—real or perceived. His own mind was twisted into making those things sins. It was why his palms had showed evidence of scarring, and why his blade had been bloody the first day she'd entered his quarters.

"I can understand why you hide them," she breathed, "but Remmus, I'll never be ashamed of you or hate the sight of them. They're a part of you, just like I am."

Fighting tears, she absently traced one of the larger scars that crossed over the tattooed river on his arm. The thought of him in pain killed a part of her.

"How can I help you? What can I do?"

"There's nothing that can be done, Ava."

Though every bone in her body fought against the finality of it, she merely squeezed her fingers against his. She wouldn't keep pushing—not when he was so vulnerable—but one thing was certain.

"I hate your parents for doing this to you."

He sucked in a breath, stiffening against her. The mating bond between them lit up with echoes of old emotions, from shame to anger to misery. In that moment, she knew what'd happened to his parents. He didn't have to say the words, but he did anyway.

"We were clanless because no clan would accept them: they were intentionally cruel. Evil to the core. Finally, one day, I retaliated." Remmus shook his head. "When I was fourteen, I ended their lives."

Ava slowly retreated to catch his eye. "I'm proud of you."

His gaze clouded with unshed tears, and she wondered if he'd ever heard the words before. To know that Remmus, barely a teenager, had slain his tormentors was both a relief and a torment. It sounded like no one had protected him as a child, and he'd been forced to take matters into his own hands. Nobody should have to live with their abuser.

Reaching up, she cupped his cheek with one hand, her thumb gently brushing across his cheekbone. Ava poured every ounce of her affection into their unfinalized mating bond, desperate to let him feel how deeply she cared for him.

Slowly, her fingers trailed down his neck, across his shoulder, and down his arm.

The same arm curled around her waist only seconds later, hoisting her up on the counter beside the brownies she'd made specifically for his enjoyment. His mouth descended on hers with an ownership that made her melt.

Fisting a hand in his shirt, she dragged him against her, wanting him plastered against her body so she could feel every muscular inch. He growled at her predatorial reaction, savoring her taste as he dove in for more.

His fingers tangled through her long coils of blonde hair, using them to pull her chin up so he had access to her neck. A gasp of surprise left her when his mouth gently teased her throat, teeth gently nipping at the sensitive flesh. Ava shivered at the contact, desire blooming within as she yanked on his shirt. Her feet wrapped around his waist, hooking behind his back as he continued worshipping her throat. A breathy moan sounded in his wake.

A chime on her phone startled them both.

Ava turned to glance at the display, groaning when the text from Aidan said Dominick's den in Houston was waiting for them. "Are you feeling up to going?"

Remmus hummed a yes, pressing his lips into her jaw when she'd looked away. The bond between them pulsed, mirroring desire on both ends, before Remmus managed to pull away.

"Oh, Blondie, if you keep enticing me, we'll never get out of your quarters."

Every deep word was a purr that stroked the inner parts of her soul, her wolf practically vibrating with her need to claim him. Mine.

"Houston can fend for itself. I've got a tray of delicious brownies—and a delicious mate—here in my quarters," Ava decreed. "I'm all set."

He chuckled but retreated anyway. She sighed, the sound loud and annoyed, and spun around to grab him a brownie. "Corners or center?"

"Center. Fates, how is that even a question?"

Rolling her eyes, she cut out a piece from the middle. "We can agree to disagree." She spun, offering him a bite. "Open up, mate."

He flinched a second before he bit down on the brownie—but the reaction was gone before Ava could read into it. A groan tumbled from his throat, and then his voice echoed in her mind.

Delightful, Blondie. I'm gonna need another taste.

***

Ten minutes later, they arrived on Dominick's pack lands.

Ava hadn't been here since they'd redone the entire structure two decades ago. It rose three stories high in the center, but the majority of the pack member's quarters were on the ground floor, spanning outward instead of upward. That way, getting in and out as a wolf was far easier.

"If it isn't the legend herself!"

Dominick's shout of greeting came from behind them, and Ava grinned. Spinning, she accepted his eager hug with a chuckle. "Nice to see you too, Dom."

He cast a suspicious eye over Remmus. "Is this your technopathic mate?"

"I see my reputation precedes me," the Raeth replied. Extending a hand, the two men shook. "Remmus, at your service."

"Oh, to the contrary," Dominick jeered. "You're in her service now."

Ava let her fist sail into the alpha's shoulder. "You're not helping."

"Can't have our esteemed Lady Legend mate with just anyone," the dark-haired male replied. "Did you know, Remmus, that your mate here was part of the original pack? Aidan's right-hand woman for centuries before she galloped off into the sunset for other packs?"

"I haven't heard nearly enough to whet my appetite on that front, so please, fire away. I love a juicy story."

"She's one of the reasons our breed survived those early years. What with Seth, Sagan, and Aidan all desperate for territory and letting their wolves run the show, she was the one peacemaker they all trusted." Dominick grinned as Ava slapped a hand over her face. "She's werewolf aristocracy, my friend."

Remmus gaped. "I had no idea I was in the company of greatness."

She elbowed him, fighting the blush. "Come on, now. Let's get this HVAC sorted out. You can tell war stories after we've finished."

"Fine."

Dominick gestured for them to follow him, leading them into the building. Catching Remmus' eye as they strode behind him, the Raeth gave her a mocking bow and mouthed, "Legend."

As they walked, a memory sparked in Ava's mind. "Hey, Dom? Do the clanless Raeths still own that nightclub downtown?"

"They do, but it's not downtown anymore. They've changed venue a couple of times since the last time you went there. We have a couple of lone wolves and a few Elementals who help out at the new spot, though."

Whenever Ava visited Dominick, she had visited the immortal nightclub with someone she trusted in tow to keep her grounded if her fear got the better of her. She always held out the hope of finding the trio of clanless Raeths who'd murdered her village there, especially since it seemed to be a gathering point for so many of them.

Now that she had the scent of the clanless Raeth associated with the Citizens, she could try to spot his trail—if he'd ever been there. "I wouldn't mind a lift to check out the new place after we're done here."

Dominick showed them to the HVAC, but watched intently as Remmus got to work. "What exactly are you doing? Aidan said something to do with code, but he never fully explained."

"Essentially, I'm uploading a firewall to your system. Drake's HVACs weren't protected, mainly because we didn't have any idea that was their play. Newer units like yours are connected to your network, but don't typically have—or need—firewall protection."

Characters flashed on the display as Remmus continued his process. "What I'm doing is adding both intrusion detection and scanning the existing code to make sure it's not compromised."

Remmus flinched, and the machine beeped.

Confusion and consternation inched through their mating bond. While Ava frowned at the Raeth kneeling before the machine, Dominick didn't notice.

"Well, the help's appreciated." He stood and walked to the door. "Let me know when you're finished, and I can drive you to the nightclub."

Ava waved him off, then refocused on her mate. In the time she'd looked away, a bead of sweat had appeared on his brow.

"Remmus?"

"Just a headache." His voice was tight. "Struggling a bit with this one."

She inched toward him. "Anything I can do?"

He winked at her. "Not unless you magically develop technopathic skills in the next few minutes. Unfortunately, this might take a bit. Go on, challenge Dominick to a wolf race. Seems like he's got some hero worship."

"That he does." She pressed a kiss into his cheek, then straightened. "I'll be back shortly."

Dominick was overjoyed when she asked for a run and they quickly put paws to the grass. As exhilarating as it was to challenge the alpha to a speed contest, the entire time she was beside him, her mind was on Remmus.

The male wolf had taken her on the long circuit and happily showed her parts of his territory she hadn't seen before. By the time they returned, it was nearing dark. She shifted back to her human form, bounding up the stairs with Dominick.

Remmus was already waiting inside. The Raeth was chatting with several pack members, looking delighted by the company. The moment he noticed her, he grinned, but directed his statement to the alpha beside her.

"All set, boss."

"Appreciate it. Hopefully, you'll take payment in the form of a ride into Houston."

"We can probably accommodate that." To Ava, Remmus said, "I don't have any teleport locks in Houston, but if he drops us off, we can stop at home before we go to the nightclub."

Ava didn't miss the fact that he'd said home when referring to her den. "You've got it all figured out, huh?"

Remmus' dimple appeared once more, but this smile foretold danger and seduction. The devilish temptress within her delighted.

"What can I say? I'm a savant."

Dominick hooked an arm around Ava and kissed her temple. "Nothing but the best for our Lady Avelina."

Remmus froze. "What?"

"Avelina," she said. "It's my given name. Dom knows I hate it so he teases me every time he can."

***

It took her a half hour to get changed and shake out her hair into a stylish waterfall down her back. She rarely had the occasion to wear the slinky black dress she'd bought three years ago on a whim, and tonight seemed like the perfect outing to debut it. It hugged her every curve like it'd been handstitched for her, making her look like a goddess.

The dress was one-shouldered and shimmied down to her three-inch heels. A slit on the side rode up to her thigh, hinting at the flirtatious side she'd only begun to explore.

When she emerged from her bedroom clad in the dress, it was to Remmus' complete silence. His mouth had dropped open and he worshipped every inch of her with his eyes, so she knew exactly what he thought of it. The tidal wave of desire that funneled through their mating bond only confirmed it.

"It seems I've managed to strike the unflappable Remmus speechless."

Victory mingled with confidence as she closed the distance between them, finally getting a good look at the man in his navy-blue suit jacket and tie.

And boy, did the Raeth look good.

Obviously tailored to his muscular physique, the dark suit made him look every inch the masculine ideal. His sandy-blond hair was tied back to reveal his stunning facial structure and those delectable high cheekbones. Her mate was wrapped in a dashing package that left her panting.

In fact, her wolf was sitting up and begging, blinking wide puppy eyes at him in a vain attempt at stealing his attention. Spoiled creature. Tonight, Ava was stealing him for herself.

"You look gorgeous, Ava."

"You don't clean up too bad yourself."

Positively purring, he asked, "Would you do me the honor of being your date tonight?"

"I'd love that."

And then he whisked her away.

The immortal-owned nightclub in Houston might have changed venue, but it had remained as animated as she remembered it. While the primary patrons were typically Raeths, a substantial number of werewolves, vampires, and Elementals were also inside. At the door, a werewolf bouncer waved them through. Ava turned back to Remmus once they were past the threshold.

"No humans are allowed inside," she explained. "The owners allow us to use our abilities on the premises, so long as it doesn't result in fatalities."

The nightclub opened up before them. Music played, but it wasn't excruciatingly loud. Immortals tended to prefer their eardrums intact, and their sensitive hearing didn't require the typical volume of a human dance club. A dance floor spanned the middle of the venue, with booths lining one side and a wall that looked surprisingly out of place bordering the other.

Vines clung to the stories-tall rockface, and a small waterfall trickled downward to an in-ground pond. Several large platforms notched into the wall at varying heights between the floor and the ceiling, big enough to hold several adults. Currently, two were occupied, one by a werewolf, and one by a Raeth tiger shifter.

Remmus chuckled. "Yes, I can see that."

They headed over toward the bar where Remmus flagged down a bartender. Fortunately, Ava recognized her. "Christy!"

The brunette leaned over the counter to give her a hug, squeezing tightly. "Long time, no see, killer. Where've you been?"

"Back home in Estes. I can't believe you're still putting up with these hours," Ava winked.

"There's nothin' like it." Christy pulled out a shot glass and filled it with vodka before sliding it down the bar to an Elemental at the other end. "What are you in town for?"

Ava retrieved the stress ball she'd taken from the St. Louis facility from her purse. It was still wrapped in the resealable bag. "Trying to track down a Raeth."

Eyes flashing, Christy leaned forward and inhaled when Ava opened the bag. The bartender frowned. "Can't say I've ever scented this particular guy before. I can ask around, though, if you'd like."

"That'd be appreciated. We'll be here for a bit."

Nodding, Chirsty asked, "What are you drinking? This one's on the house."

"This one's on me," Remmus countered, pulling out a fifty. "Ava's my date tonight."

Christy gave her a saucy smirk. "Who's your friend?"

"You mean my mate?"

Gaping, the bartender pulled Ava into another hug. "Girl, you did good."

Ava ordered a flaming drink to start, and Remmus downed a nonalcoholic one alongside her. The kick to her bloodstream had her eager to join the dance floor—and her wolf eager to claw the face off any woman who eyeballed her man.

"Easy, killer," came Remmus' voice behind her ear as he steered her toward the throng of bodies below neon lights. "Don't let that pretty wolf of yours claim me just yet."

Though a growl stalled before it sounded, the pretty beast whined happily in Ava's chest, brushing against her skin in an effort to be closer to the Raeth.

When a tattooed arm wrapped around her waist and pulled her flush against him, Ava melted. Remmus' minty scent made her blood heat in response.

Lights flashed, people danced, and music blared, but none of it could drown out the presence of her mate. His lips found her neck, teeth grazing against the sensitive skin in a sensual caress that had goosebumps trailing his movements.

Reaching up, Ava linked her arms around his neck, fully opening her midriff to his wandering hands. His every touch seemed to scream Mine, and if she was honest, Ava had never experienced anything so potently addicting.

Unable to resist any longer, she flipped in the cage of his embrace, delighting in the way he sucked in a breath when she drew flush alongside his body. Every thump of the music hummed between them, beating them senseless with its intensity and guiding their movements.

Her man could move.

"You're entirely too smooth on the dance floor, Remmus. You're making me look bad."

His eyes shimmered with mischief. "Nothing could ever make you look bad. You're drop-dead gorgeous."

Startled laughter burst from her, but it was quickly swallowed by the noise around them. The smell of sweat and alcohol tinged her nose, the crush of bodies becoming closer and closer as the night wore on. Throughout the next hour, several other werewolves approached them and scented the item taken from the clanless Raeth, but none of them recognized him.

Ava had also kept her eyes peeled for any signs of the trio of Raeths who'd murdered her village. It was second nature at this point, although the likelihood they'd wander into the same club she was randomly in after eight centuries was a slim one. While tonight had been a failure on both fronts, she found herself strangely happy. Being with Remmus lightened the dark parts of her soul.

When her feet began to tingle, Ava asked Remmus if he was hungry. It was mostly a formality; she'd never known the man to refuse food.

Fortunately, Remmus already knew a twenty-four-hour, five-star restaurant—this time, in Chicago. By the second course, Ava's cheeks were hurting. Laughter came easily in his presence, his hilarious anticks whisking hers toward the light. The vengeance mission that had consumed her life had always forced her into stoic and solitary behavior, and though she was a pack animal, she preferred nights alone in her own company.

It seemed her preference for solitude didn't include her mate.

With a laugh, Ava forked the last bite of her potatoes and looked him dead in the eye. "You, Remmus? You're mold."

"Mold, huh?"

"Yep." A single, dead-pan nod that was entirely unapologetic. "You're growing on me."

Something between a scoff and a grunt came from the man across the table. "I'm beyond flattered to be likened to fungi. A true honor."

What'd been a joke ended up with Ava's heart tugging at his response, and her sudden realization that she was happy. Here, with Remmus, she found herself feeling fulfilled, content, and eager for what life would bring. The epiphany made her next words all the more honest.

"I like having you around, Remmus. I know I wasn't very pleasant when you first arrived, but I'm really glad we're getting to know each other." She searched his gaze. "I like you."

The familiar cockiness dissolved as he took her honesty and responded in kind. "I like you, too, Ava." He took another bite, stewing on his next question before asking it. "May I ask why you were so opposed to my presence at first?"

The quietness of his query and the gentle way he looked at her gave her pause. Remmus truly wanted to understand. Between them, a pulse of concern bloomed like a rose within her, both his fear at her answer and his inability to protect her his only driving emotions.

His heartfelt plea drove her to answer with honesty. "Something happened to me when I was human, before Aidan turned me."

She set her utensils down, her stomach doing summersaults as her hunger vanished. Hands fisting on the slinky material of her dress beneath the table, she fought the urge to cry as the memories assaulted her.

"I was always outside when I was little, playing in the wildflowers and foraging berries for my mother. She was a lovely woman, and I remember her fondly, but my parents were leaders in my village, so I was often on my own. I ended up meeting the wrong person and foolishly trusting them, and in the end, it cost my parents their lives. They were brutally murdered in front of me." She shivered. "I was on my own until Aidan found me."

Reaching across the table, Remmus' fingers interlocked with hers. "I'm so sorry, Ava. I didn't know."

"Having you at the den, and me being assigned to be your partner—it was intentional. For years, I'd have panic attacks whenever I'd see a Raeth. Aidan and Riaz realized that I needed to desensitize myself."

"Why put yourself through that? What do Raeths have to do with it?"

"Every time I let fear control me, it chipped a little further away at my parents' memory. The people who killed them were Raeths." Her fingers tightened around his. "Clanless Raeths slaughtered my entire village, right in front of me, as I hid beneath a pile of blankets. The friend I'd made, an older boy named Ciru, was the one who betrayed me. He was one of them. One of you."

Remmus' hand froze around hers, and for a moment, only silence floated between them. An audible swallow sounded from across the table.

"Your friend, the one who betrayed you, do you blame him for what happened?"

"He stood there, casually watching as my parents were murdered, as my cousin begged him to save her life." Angry tears welled, scrawling down her cheeks. "Ciru was the reason everyone died. The reason I search for clanless Raeths is because I'm looking for him and his parents. I'll never stop until I find them."

A psychic door slammed shut on Remmus' emotions, but Ava took it as a gift—him trying to shield her from the turmoil he was experiencing at her pain.

"What would you do if you discovered them?"

Her mate's voice was a bare whisper now, and when Ava looked up, a mask was firmly secured over his features once more, but this one was coarse. Harsh. Dangerous somehow.

"I'd take revenge," came her cold and unfeeling voice. "I'd snuff out their lives like they'd snuffed out my parents'."