Chapter 4

Chapter Four

The best thing about Gemma was that she always knew when not to push.

The bad thing about Gemma? She didn’t push.

So now, a week after her disastrous confrontation with Jax, Lucy was going out of her mind because she needed to talk about everything! What did he mean that she should check the facts? What was there to check? He was the reason her brother was the one driving that night, and his father was the one who hit their car while he was drunk. End of story.

Or was it?

She’d called Ty several times and her calls always went to voicemail. It was the same with Wyatt. Honestly, she expected to hear from Ty before she was even out of the parking lot that night, but obviously he was pissed at her, so she needed to make things right.

Her brother was kind of a creature of habit, and on Tuesday nights he worked until six and always came home and ordered himself pizza. It was a little after five and Lucy was getting ready to leave the clinic, but she called in the pizza order—Ty liked pepperoni and eggplant on his, so she made sure to get that for him and a small pizza with grilled veggies for herself with a side of ranch. With any luck, she’d get to his house just as he was getting home and use the pizza as a peace offering.

“Lord knows I’m motivated by food, so Ty’s gotta be too.”

At least that’s what she was going with.

But when she pulled up to her brother’s house an hour later, he was already there and Lucy silently prayed that he hadn’t ordered his dinner yet. Letting out a long breath, she grabbed the two pizzas and made her way up to the door. His townhouse was a one-story end unit with a huge front window. She saw him walking toward the door and saw he was grinning so…maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

“The line’s been busy at the pizza place for the last twenty minutes,” he said as he opened the door. “You’re lucky I’m hungry or I’d make you stay out here and beg to come in for a little longer.” Taking the pizza from her hands, Ty turned and walked away, leaving Lucy to follow.

“Okay, one hurdle down,” she murmured, shutting the door behind her.

She found Ty in the kitchen and the boxes open on the massive island. “Beer, soda or water?” he asked, his back to her.

“Uh…beer to start.” Moving around the kitchen, she grabbed some plates and napkins and put them out too. “I’ll switch to a Coke when I’m done.”

They worked in silence until they each had a couple of slices on their plates and sat down at the kitchen table. She figured this was where he was going to make her beg, and she was ready to do it.

“You’re making a mistake,” Ty said firmly before Lucy could utter a single word. “I get that you have some issues with Jax, but passing up the opportunity to work on this camp—a camp that could realistically turn into a year-round rehab clinic you could run—is possibly the worst decision you’ve ever made.”

At any other time, she would have taken immediate offense and argued with him, but…tonight she was going to fight that urge and have a conversation. “I wouldn’t say it’s the worst decision,” she countered. “I’ve made some really terrible choices in my life. Remember the blue hair? Or the time I decided to follow One Direction on tour because I was convinced Harry Styles would fall in love with me? Or thought I could be a backup dancer for Pink? I mean…in the grand scheme of things, turning down the camp offer seems pretty par for the course for me, don’t you think?”

She was going for light and teasing, but her brother’s expression was fairly stoic.

Sighing, Lucy met his gaze. “Okay, fine. I probably shouldn’t have blown everything off the way I did.” Another sigh. “I should have been mature enough to at least sit and listen and take a few days to think about it before just saying no.”

He eyed her intently. “Would you still have said no?”

Shrugging, she figured she owed him her honesty. “I don’t know, Ty. I can’t help how I feel, okay? I still don’t get why you don’t hate Jax, but whatever. The thing is, he’s probably not going to be overly hands-on with the camp, so it would almost be a moot point to turn it down based on having to work with him.”

“But…?”

“But,” she said, “I know myself and I know that I’m never going to look at Jax Wylder and not have negative thoughts and feelings. I’m sorry.”

And because she hated cold pizza, she picked up her slice and took a big bite while waiting for Tyler to tell her how wrong she was.

But he didn’t.

Instead, he picked up his own slice and began eating. For the next several minutes, they ate and talked about the pizza, her job, his job, and several more neutral topics. Lucy grabbed another slice and so did Ty, and before she knew it, an hour had gone by and she figured they were good and the topic of Jax and the camp were over.

“Any chance you have some ice cream?” Lucy asked as she cleared away their plates. “I should have picked some up while I was waiting for the pizza, but I forgot.”

“Yeah, there are a couple of pints in the freezer,” Ty told her as he walked over to it. “Chocolate? Butter pecan? Mint chocolate chip? And…” He moved some things around. “Ooh…cookies and cream. Nice.” Placing all the pints on the island, he then grabbed some toppings from the pantry. “Chocolate syrup, caramel sauce, and I think there’s some whipped cream in the fridge. We can make sundaes.”

Smiling, Lucy grabbed a couple of bowls for them. “And this is why you’re my favorite brother! Charlie eats too healthy and Wyatt never has anything to eat at his place.”

“Yeah, well, Charlie eats that way because Bree makes him, and Wyatt’s just lazy. I prefer to have a variety of stuff I love here so I can snack happily in the comfort of my own home.”

“Smart,” she told him as she scooped out some chocolate ice cream. Again, they worked in silence as they made their sundaes. “Do you trust me to eat this on the couch?”

That made him laugh. “You’re good. Come on. Let’s get comfy.”

That’s exactly what Lucy did as she curled up in the corner of the oversized sectional. She was savoring her first spoonful of ice cream when Ty pretty much turned her world upside down.

“I was drunk on grad night,” he said somberly. “No one ever said anything because Greg Wylder was clearly in the wrong, but…if I had been sober, I could have avoided the crash.” He paused and took a slow spoonful of his dessert. “For whatever reason, no one ever said anything about my blood alcohol level. There was so much chaos after the accident that I just never questioned it.”

She was shocked and couldn’t quite process what he was saying.

“Jax was supposed to be the one to drive. We all knew that, and it was what we told Mom and Dad when we left here for the party that night. But you know how it is, Luce; we were young and stupid and had no idea of our limits. Hell, we thought we were invincible.”

Still she couldn’t make herself say anything.

“When it was time to leave Billy Donnelly’s house, I could see that Jax was in no condition to drive. He could barely stand upright.” He took another bite of his ice cream before continuing. “I remember thinking that I was fine, that I could totally drive everyone home. I snatched the keys from Jax and he argued with me about it, but he was stumbling and really had no choice but to give in.”

This time she went to speak, but Ty held up a hand to stop her.

“Looking back? Yeah, we should have called someone. None of us wanted our parents to know we’d been drinking and because it was so late, I figured if I could get everyone home, Jax could just sleep over and everyone would be asleep when we got to our place.”

As much as she wanted to argue, she couldn’t. It all made sense.

“Anyway, it was like one of those after-school specials—you know, the ones that talk about the dangers of drinking and driving. We were laughing, the music was too loud, and I didn’t react fast enough when the car crossed the median and came at us. If I’d been sober…” Shrugging, he took another bite. “ Ow . Brain freeze.” Then he laughed. “Perfect timing for that, right?”

Unsure of what to say, Lucy focused on her own dessert as the reality of what he was telling her sank in. “So…Jax…?”

“It was really all just a crappy situation,” he said gruffly. “I mean, what were the odds that his father would be the one to hit us? If either of us—me or Jax—had been smart enough not to drink, this probably wouldn’t have happened.”

“Do Mom and Dad know the truth?”

He nodded. “They do. It was one of the hardest things I ever had to tell them.” After another spoonful of ice cream, he gave Lucy a sad smile. “Obviously they were disappointed, but they never held it against me or threw it back at me when I was struggling with my recovery and wanted to give up. Believe me, there are still so many days when it all hits me hard and I start to go to a dark place. Then I remember that…I’m here. I survived. How many people get into similar situations and don’t?”

Tears stung her eyes because she had no idea her brother had been suffering with this. “I don’t know how you do it, Ty. Like, I seriously don’t know how you’re so damn happy and upbeat when everything…”

“Everything I’d worked for got taken away,” he finished for her. “It’s not easy. Like I said, some days, I start to spiral and it’s very easy to slip into a depression. The problem with that cycle is that it’s easy to get into and hard as hell to get out of. I’ve had enough obstacles to overcome; I’m not looking for more.”

Letting out a shaky breath, Lucy shook her head. “I don’t even know what to say. I honestly had no idea about so much of this.” Taking her last spoonful of ice cream, she shook her head again. “I’m so sorry. This makes me feel like I’m the worst sister because I clearly wasn’t paying attention.”

“Luce, stop. You paid attention plenty. There were just things you didn’t need to know. You were thirteen years old. No one expected you to be a part of the conversation about my stupid actions. Like I said, Mom and Dad…that wasn’t something they were going to share. It was up to me and it’s not something I like to discuss.”

“Still, I feel awful.”

Tyler put his bowl down and turned to face her. “I didn’t tell you all of this to make you feel bad, okay? And I didn’t tell you all of this to guilt you into being part of the camp. I’m telling you this so you can make a decision based on actual facts.”

“Okay, but…”

“And no one’s telling you that you suddenly have to be a huge Jax Wylder fan,” he clarified. “So please don’t think that’s what this is about either. I honestly just don’t want you walking around thinking I’m a victim.” Then he smiled. “All this time, I thought you were simply holding a grudge and you’d get over it. It took seeing you face-to-face with Jax for me to realize there was more to it.”

“Did he tell you what I said to him?” And yeah, she sounded just a wee bit defensive.

Laughing softly, he shook his head. “No. That’s not the kind of guy Jax is. He’s loyal almost to a fault.”

“Yeah, he’s a prince,” she mumbled.

All smiles and laughter vanished in the blink of an eye. A loud huff of annoyance followed. “Okay, I really thought you could be a mature adult, Lucy…”

“You’re right, you’re right. I’m sorry. It’s not like I can just shut this stuff off automatically. It’s gonna take some time.”

He leaned forward. “Then let me help move things along. Do you remember when Jax started playing for the Warriors? Remember how they went to the Super Bowl that year?”

“Um…”

“He took the money he made on that game and paid off a bunch of my medical bills. And the second Super Bowl? He did it again. When they won when he played the third time? Jax got a crap ton of endorsement deals and he paid off the rest of the medical bills. No one asked him to, and he certainly didn’t need to.”

“Um…”

“And I already know what you’re going to say, that he should’ve done that because his father was the one to cause the accident, but that still doesn’t make it his responsibility.”

It was becoming blazingly clear that she had seriously misjudged the entire situation. However…

“Okay, I have one question, and then we need to just change the subject. If Jax paid off all the medical bills, then why are Mom and Dad always talking about how their bills are killing them?”

“Because Dad works in a factory and Mom heads up a human resources department for a small company. Neither of them have high-paying jobs. And I’m not saying that to shame them; that’s just the way it is. Many people struggle to make ends meet, Lucy.”

Oh, no…

“So the reason I didn’t get to go away to college…”

“Wasn’t because of my medical bills, but because they couldn’t afford it. Didn’t you ever talk to them about it?”

“I mean, I did, but when they said they couldn’t afford it, I just naturally assumed it was because…”

“Of me,” he said wearily, falling back against the sofa cushions. “Jeez, I can’t believe how misguided you were on pretty much everything.”

Neither could she.

Swallowing hard, she glanced over at him. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do here. I’m really sorry for all the times I got angry with you and your situation when it wasn’t your fault.”

“There’s nothing to apologize for. You were reacting to something you didn’t understand.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better.” Mimicking his pose, she relaxed against the cushions and stared up at the ceiling. “But I guess I need to apologize to Jax, huh?”

“That’s totally up to you. Like I said, this wasn’t about me forcing you into anything. It just seemed like this conversation was long overdue.”

And that still didn’t make her feel any better.

Turning her head, she looked over at him. “I said some pretty horrible things to him.”

He nodded. “I’m sure you did.”

“Hey!”

“Lucy, you’re my sister. I’m very familiar with your temper.”

“Oh.”

They sat in silence for several long moments before Ty made a suggestion. “I’m going to see Jax play this weekend. He invited me to come out to Wichita and see a game. I’ve done it several times over the years, but…maybe you can come with me.”

“What?” Sitting straight up, she looked at her brother like he was crazy. “I can’t just take off like that, and I’m sure I’m the last person Jax wants to see.”

“I’m leaving Friday morning and flying home Monday afternoon. I think you should consider it. I’ll even pay for your flight.”

Rolling her eyes, she flopped back against the cushions. “There’s still the hotel, food, and whatnot. I mean, I have days available, so I could probably take them without it being a big deal. Even on short notice. But I don’t have a ticket to the game and it just seems like a lot to maybe see Jax for like five minutes, so…”

Standing, Tyler walked to the kitchen and picked up his phone and began tapping something out. It didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out who he was texting. Part of her wanted to jump up and tell him not to bother—that she really didn’t want to go—but she knew she wasn’t going to rest until she made things right.

Two minutes later, Ty walked back over and sat down. “Jax has a booth for the game, so we’re good.”

“Oh.”

“And you don’t need a hotel, because we’re staying with him.”

“Oh.”

“Be sure to pack your bathing suit. Jax has an amazing outdoor living space with a hot tub.”

Ugh…I really should have jumped up and said no when I had the chance…

Late Friday afternoon, Jax was driving home from practice and thought about what was waiting for him at the house and wondered if he’d missed anything. The place was going to be spotless; that was a given. And he was certain there would be more than enough food. He was just thankful he didn’t have to do any of it himself, thanks to his housekeeper. Having Tyler here for the weekend wasn’t a big deal. As a matter of fact, it was something they did at least three to four times a year. No, this was different because this time he was bringing Lucy.

The groan was out before he could stop it.

Ever since he got back from South Creek, he’d replayed the conversation they’d had over and over in his head more times than he’d care to admit.

Why hadn’t he just set her straight about everything? But more importantly, why did she even think those things about him? Didn’t she ever talk to her family? The whole thing was mind-boggling because the Dawsons were such a great family. Hell, there had been times when he was growing up that he wished he was related to them because his own home life was so messed up. So for the life of him, he had no idea why Lucy was putting the blame for pretty much everything wrong with their lives on him.

It would have been easy to have an answer; all he had to do was ask Tyler. But in doing that, he’d have to share what Lucy had said to him and…well…that didn’t sit right with him, either. She might think he was the worst, but he still didn’t believe in going back to her brother and talking about her behind her back.

Now she was going to be here for the weekend, so that had to mean that she changed her mind about helping with the camp.

He just wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing.

“If she’s flying all the way here just to yell in my face a little more, I’ll have to kick Tyler’s ass,” he murmured.

He’d been at the stadium for practice since dawn and what he really wanted was to go home and relax, but knowing that Lucy was there waiting for him had every muscle in his body tensing up. Jax had given Tyler all the codes to get through the front gate and into the house. Picking them up at the airport hadn’t been an option, but he was fortunate that his friend didn’t mind taking an Uber and entertaining himself for a little while.

Pulling up to his house, he let out a long breath and told himself to unclench. Nothing bad was going to happen. Some friends were here to visit and go to his game; that’s all. Everything was going to be fine.

“And it’s my house, dammit. I shouldn’t be afraid to go into my own home.”

Big words for a guy still sitting in his truck…

Muttering a curse, Jax opened the garage door, climbed from the truck, and made his way into the house.

“Hey! You’re earlier than I thought you’d be!” Tyler said as he walked over and shook his hand. “Good to see you!”

“Yeah, you too. How was your flight?” he asked, as he put his duffel bag down and did his best to focus on his buddy for a little longer before turning his attention to Lucy.

“We had a slight delay in Dallas, but other than that, it was pretty uneventful. Lucy even got us upgraded to first class.”

Looking over at her, he saw her shrug. She looked a lot less confident than she had the last time he saw her, and rather than gloat about it, he figured he’d wait and see how things went.

“If you don’t ask, you don’t get,” she said softly. “I don’t fly a lot, so when we checked in, I mentioned that to the ticket agent and we got the upgrade.” Another shrug. “It was kind of nice.”

“It was freaking awesome,” Ty said with a small laugh, walking over to the refrigerator. “I hope you don’t mind, but we helped ourselves to something to eat and drink. Want a beer?”

Jax held up a hand, shaking his head. “Game weekend. No alcohol.” Glancing at Lucy, he waited to see if she was going to say something snarky about his recent suspension, but she didn’t.

Okay…this is possibly going to be fine…

“We appreciate you letting us stay here,” Tyler was saying as he grabbed himself a bottle of beer before grabbing two bottles of water. “I’m sure you normally come home and relax after practice. Don’t feel like you need to entertain us.”

Accepting the water bottle he held out, Jax shook his head. “You’re talking like you’ve never been here before, Ty. Relax. I figured we’d go out to eat somewhere and then come back here and hang out. Nothing exciting. But if you want to show Lucy around the city…”

“We’re going to do some sightseeing tomorrow while you’re at practice. With the game being Sunday, I figured you’d be at practice all day tomorrow too, right?”

He nodded. “We get the day after the game off.” Pausing for a moment, he tried to remember when they were leaving. “Are you going home Monday or Tuesday?”

“Monday,” Ty said. “I could only get off today and Monday. Lucy has off until Wednesday, but I’m sure she’ll be fine flying home with me.”

Jax smirked when he caught her nodding in agreement.

“So, what are you guys in the mood for?” he asked. “Italian? Steaks? Mexican?”

At the same time that Tyler said it didn’t matter, Lucy said Italian.

Laughing softly, he figured he might extend the proverbial olive branch if he went with Lucy’s suggestion.

“There’s a great Italian place not too far from here, Ristorante Duomo. Their menu is amazing and they have some killer pizza too if that’s more what you’re in the mood for.”

“Pizza we can get anytime,” Lucy told him. “But if they have some good pasta dishes, I’m here for it.”

“White sauce or red?” he asked.

“Um…usually a red, but I’m not fussy. You know all the places back in South Creek or the surrounding towns. They have all the basics. I’d love to try something new.”

He already knew the dishes he was going to order for them to share. “Let me get changed and we’ll go.”

“I hope you don’t mind that we already claimed our rooms,” Tyler commented. “I took the front bedroom and Lucy took the back one with the door out to the screened-in porch.”

Jax looked at him funny. “You gave up your room?” he asked with amusement. “I seem to remember you mentioned how you called dibs on that one for all future visits.”

“Yeah, well, we arm wrestled for it and she beat me,” he murmured, making both Jax and Lucy crack up. “Shut up!” That’s when he stormed out of the room.

Turning to look at Lucy, he noticed the smile of pure delight on her face. “You seriously challenged him to an arm wrestle?”

She nodded. “Hell yeah! I got us the upgrade on the flights and then he wasn’t going to give me the better room? No way! Tell me you wouldn’t have done the same with your brothers.”

“Oh, I totally would have wanted to do that with them, but it wouldn’t have been fair!”

One perfectly shaped brow raised. “Meaning?”

“Lucy, come on. You know my brothers. Noah’s not athletic at all. I mean, he can totally hold his own, but I’m bigger and stronger than he is.”

She groaned quietly.

“And Simon? He wouldn’t even challenge me. Or anyone! He’s the nicest guy in the world and he’d sleep on the floor before arguing with anyone over a bedroom.”

“The only reason I’m not making a comment about your colossal ego is because I know your brothers and you’re right. I think Noah would give you a run for your money, and if you even tried that with Simon, you’d be dubbed the world’s biggest bully.”

She wasn’t wrong.

Taking a sip of his water, he figured now would be a good time to maybe test the waters about why she was here. With Ty out of the room, it seemed like the perfect opportunity.

That and the fact that they were joking around and getting along.

“So…what made you decide to come to Wichita?” he carefully asked. He was standing on one side of the kitchen island and Lucy was on the other.

She didn’t shy away from responding. “Tyler and I had a long-overdue conversation the other day. He cleared up a lot of misconceptions I had about…you know…things.” Her shoulders sagged a bit as her big eyes looked up at him. “Why didn’t you correct me? You let me go on and on and on, spewing all kinds of awful accusations at you. Why?”

Jax took another sip of his water before answering. “You were already pretty antagonistic toward me and I figured anything I tried to say, you were going to think was an excuse or like I was passing the blame onto your family.” He shrugged with a grin. “And we both know that’s exactly what you would have thought, so don’t even try to deny it.”

Her expression turned a little sad. “As much as I hate to admit it, you’re right. That’s exactly what I would have thought. My only excuse is that…I reacted based on the facts as I knew them. So…I’m sorry.”

Don’t act surprised…don’t act surprised…don’t act surprised…

“Really, Jax,” she said softly. “I’m genuinely sorry.”

Smiling, he leaned over slightly even though the island was massive and it didn’t really do much to bring them closer. “Apology accepted. Now, let’s get ready to go out and have a fantastic dinner and no more talking about the past. Deal?”

She nodded, and if he wasn’t mistaken, she blushed slightly. “Deal,” she whispered before walking away toward her room.

Watching her go, Jax finished his water and for the first time that day, he felt like he could genuinely relax.

It was late and Jax knew he should be sleeping, but his brain just wouldn’t shut down.

Dinner with Lucy and Tyler had been awesome. They ate some amazing food and he watched Lucy try spaghetti carbonara and Osso Buco for the first time. Turns out when she’s not hurling insults at him, Lucy Dawson is a pretty awesome person. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d laughed so hard or enjoyed himself so much. Of course part of the reason was Ty, but it was Lucy who was on his mind right now.

You should not be thinking about your best friend’s little sister…

Easier said than done.

Once they called a truce, Jax couldn’t seem to stop noticing things about her.

When she smiled, she had dimples.

When she laughed, her green eyes sparkled.

Ugh…what is wrong with me?

No sooner did he ask himself that question than more things about Lucy began to play through his mind.

She wasn’t afraid to make fun of herself.

She was passionate about her career and helping kids.

She was fiercely protective of her family, even though she admitted how crazy they made her.

Plus, she could eat almost as much pasta as him.

And all of that was on top of her beautiful face and killer curves. If he had to describe a woman who was the total package, it would be Lucy.

But thinking like that was like wading into dangerous territory. Normally, that wouldn’t bother him. Playing professional football made wading into dangerous territory something he loved doing.

On the field.

In his personal life? Not so much.

“Screw this,” he murmured, kicking the blankets off. If he wasn’t going to sleep, then he needed to do something to help him clear his damn mind. Walking into his closet, he grabbed a pair of swim trunks from the built-in dresser and quickly changed into them before taking a towel from the linen closet. His hot tub was closer to Lucy’s room than his, but there was a small privacy wall to help with the noise. With any luck, she was a heavy sleeper and he’d get thirty minutes of down time so he could get some sleep.

Best laid plans and all…

Opening the door in his bedroom that led out to the back porch, he looked up to see Lucy trying to quietly climb into the hot tub. Her perfect ass was covered by her bathing suit, but still gloriously on display.

“Shit,” she hissed. “That’s hot.”

Swallowing hard, Jax stepped out into the darkness. Apparently Lucy didn’t want to risk waking him up so the only light was coming from the moon. He waited until she was fully submerged in the bubbling water before he spoke.

“Sorry about that,” he said as he strolled over. “Sometimes I forget that not everyone likes their water scalding hot.”

Even in the dark he could see that her eyes went wide. “Oh, um…I hope I didn’t wake you. I was really trying to be quiet.”

Tossing his towel on one of the nearby chairs, he climbed in but made sure he was on the opposite side. “You didn’t. I just couldn’t sleep, and this is what I usually do when that happens.”

She nodded. “Worried about the game?”

“What?”

“The game Sunday. Is that why you can’t sleep? You’re playing the top team in the league right now. I would imagine that has to be a bit intimidating. I mean, Marshall’s been throwing something fierce this season. Didn’t I read somewhere that he’s thrown the most touchdown passes in the league for the last three years? And Fielding’s assists on tackles their last game beat the league record, didn’t it?”

Was she seriously talking to him about football stats right now? It was all he could do to stop trying to look at her breasts in a bikini top and she wanted to talk sports?

“Um…yeah, they’re a good team, but I’m not worried,” he said, his voice sounding ridiculously gruff even to his own ears. Trying to relax, he spread his arms out over the ledge of the tub. “We’ve played them before and the coaches have been studying their recent wins, so…we’ll be fine.”

“So then, how come you can’t sleep?”

Because you’re a distraction I didn’t see coming.

There was no way he would ever admit that out loud, but it didn’t make it any less true.

“It was a good time tonight,” he said instead. “Good food, good conversation, and I guess I just needed a little more time to wind down.”

“It’s a shame you couldn’t drink. The wines you picked to go with our meals tonight were the best I’ve ever tasted.” Tilting her head, she studied him for a moment. “Were you always this disciplined, or does this have to do with your recent suspension?”

He didn’t take offense to the question because there was no condemnation there—just a simple inquiry.

“More because of…recent events. One glass of wine probably wouldn’t have hurt, but I feel like I’ve been under the microscope a little more since everything happened, so I’m trying to make sure I don’t give anyone a reason to say anything bad about me.”

“Smart.” She paused for a moment and shifted a bit under the water to get the jets to exactly where she wanted them. “It’s got to suck living like that. It’s not like you did anything that was so terrible. It probably wasn’t the smartest thing you could have done, but it wasn’t the worst either. And to have people watching you like that would seriously get on my nerves. I don’t know how you do it.”

Shrugging, he said, “I’m kind of used to it. And compared to someone like Simon, I’ve got it easy. He literally has paparazzi chasing him wherever he goes. He and Jules bought this amazing house and have a ton of security, and yet they’ll find people hiding out in the bushes at least once a week. Now that would go beyond getting on my nerves.”

Laughing softly, she agreed. “Sometimes it’s wild to think that Simon’s this…like giant rock star. He’s the most laid back, chill person I think I’ve ever met. I went to see him in concert last year and I was just blown away by his voice.”

“Did you go backstage to see him?”

This time the laugh was more of a snort. “Um…no! Why…I mean…how…? Jax, your brother wouldn’t even know who I was. Why would I try to get backstage?”

“Oh, come on, weren’t you the one who said if you don’t ask, you don’t get? I’m sure you have friends who would have loved for you to try to see him!” And yeah, he was laughing a little—mostly because he just felt happy at the moment.

“Like I said, I doubt Simon even remembers me. He’s a lot older than I am.”

“Please, my brother remembers everybody. It’s kind of weird how he does it. Still…next time he’s on tour and you go, you should totally try to get backstage to see him. I can almost guarantee that not only will he remember you, but he’ll remember some obscure memory of something you said or did. Seriously, it’s bizarre.”

“Well…we’ll see if that ever happens. Not sure when he’s touring again.”

“Yeah, he’s on a much-needed break. Jules has been good for him and it’s nice to see him working a little less and enjoying his life more.”

“Some people love their jobs,” she reasoned. “And from everything I’ve ever seen, heard, or read about Simon, it seems like he genuinely does.”

“I know he does, but I just appreciate the fact that he’s seeing that there’s more to life than just writing and singing songs.”

They fell into a companionable silence, and Jax let his head loll back as his eyes closed. Another few minutes and he’d be ready to crawl into bed.

“If I had a hot tub, I’d probably be out in it every night,” Lucy said softly, almost dreamily. “This just feels so good.” Then she let out a low moan that had Jax going hard instantly.

Guess I’m staying in the water a little longer.

After a peaceful minute, Lucy looked over at him and asked, “You’re really serious about this camp thing? Like, it’s something you want to do, not something you have to do for damage control?”

It was a fair question. “If I was just looking to do damage control, I would go and visit sick kids in the hospital and bring a team of photographers with me. Believe me, this isn’t something I just came up with on a whim. I know I can’t play football forever, and I’ve been giving a lot of thought to what I want to do after retiring.”

“Wouldn’t going into coaching or reporting be the next logical step?”

Jax paused for a moment to make sure he didn’t word this in a way that would have her mocking him. “The reality is that the Warriors are having a great season. The last several have been great as well. If I were to retire at the end of this season and went into coaching, the press would be a bit of a distraction.”

Nodding, she let her head lean back against the padding. “True. But it could also bring some positive attention to whatever school or team you were coaching.”

“I don’t think middle schools need ESPN giving them airtime.”

That got her attention. Sitting up straight, with water splashing all around her, she looked at him in confusion. “Are you serious? You’re not looking to coach a college team or even a UFL team?”

“Not really. I kind of see myself going back to my roots and working with kids. I had some amazing coaches and I know I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today without them. It would be really cool if I could do that for someone.”

Her smile was slow and a little sweet. “That is not what I expected from you at all, Jax. This is a side of you I never saw coming.”

“Yeah, well…considering what you thought of me until a few days ago…”

Her sigh was soft and, to his surprise, she moved to sit next to him. “I know we said we weren’t going to look back, but…I guess no one thought I was paying attention or that I needed to know the specifics. According to Ty, there were certain…um…details that they promised not to share.”

Her hand rested on his bicep and Jax did his best not to react. Swallowing hard, he met her gaze.

“The thing is, I don’t even know if it would have made a difference—knowing the truth, I mean. My heart aches for Tyler and everything he’s lost. So even if I knew he was partially at fault…”

“You’d still want someone to blame,” he gruffly finished for her. “I’d be no different if it were one of my brothers.” He paused again. “We’re good, Luce. I swear. I’m glad you’re here this weekend and the offer to come and help us with the camp is still there. We can talk specifics later. Just know that I think it would be really cool if you were a part of it.”

Smiling, she gave his bicep a small squeeze. “Thanks, Jax. I’ll think about it.” That’s when she yawned. “Oh, damn. Sorry.” Another yawn. “I think that’s my cue to call it a night. Soaking like this really worked wonders.”

When she stood, water cascaded down her body—the water glistening on her skin in the moonlight—and it took every ounce of self-control he possessed not to reach out and haul her into his lap.

“You should probably call it a night soon too,” she urged before stepping onto the seat and climbing out of the hot tub, giving him an up-close view of all her curves.

All he could do was nod as he watched her pick up a towel and wrap it around herself. Visions of her looking like that after the two of them took a shower together flashed through his mind, followed by how badly he’d love to unwrap her and find her naked underneath.

I am so screwed…

“Good night,” she whispered before walking over to the door that led to her room. With a wave, she stepped inside, closing the door behind her.

“What the fuck am I doing?” he quietly admonished. “This is all kinds of wrong.”

It didn’t matter that he knew it; it didn’t make the images go away. So for a few more minutes, he sat there reciting football plays in his head.

It only mildly helped.

With no other choice, Jax stood and turned off the jets before climbing out of the tub. He dried off almost aggressively before storming over to his own door and going inside. He was nowhere near relaxed—certainly no more than he had been an hour ago. Still, he went through the motions of getting ready for bed.

And when he slid under the sheets and turned out the lights, there wasn’t a doubt in his mind that he’d dream some dirty and vivid dreams of Lucy Dawson.