Chapter Fifty-Three

Danica

I kiss him to shut him up. He was rambling and spiraling and I couldn’t stand to see the worry and hurt in his eyes. What he did to me was so fucked up. I know it, he knows it. But there is a part of me that just doesn’t fucking care. I have missed him, God, how I have missed him! Besides, I’m not the same girl that he pushed away all those years ago. I know how to take care of myself now; but I still need him. There was a piece of me missing, a jagged hole in my heart and now that he is here again, with me, I can’t deny it. I feel it in my bones. So yeah, I kiss him for all that I’m worth, desperate for him in a way I can’t explain.

Reaching up, I thread my fingers through his hair, pulling his head down to meet me in a heated kiss. I run my tongue along the seam of his lips, and he opens for me with a groan, meeting me with a desperate hunger. His hands slide down my back, pulling me closer, and I can feel his hard length pressing into me, his warmth seeping into my body. I pull away with a gasp, breaking our kiss, and grab his chin, forcing him to look me in the eyes.

“I know, Theo.”

His brows furrow in confusion, and he shakes his head, not understanding.

Standing on tiptoes, I move my hands up, holding his face in a gentle caress, kissing away the worry lines that form between his brows as I do so.

“Why do you think I call you ‘my ghost?’ I know . Have known for a long time. About you following me, watching me from the shadows.” I laugh bitterly. “Hell, everywhere I went, it seemed, there you were. No matter how hard I tried to move on with my life, to forget you. For years! You were always right there. I could feel you. And Finn all but confirmed it after getting my security systems installed at Prism. You were good, but his software is better. I could see someone was watching me from the shadows, and Finn wanted to alleviate my worries.” I shake my head, disappointed. “Did you think you could hide from me? That I wanted you to?”

He goes to speak, but no words come out. I think I may have actually stunned him into silence, go figure.

“I do have to admit, I wasn’t aware that you came to some of my competitions. That is a surprise.” And it’s definitely something that I am going to have to have a discussion with Finn about. There is no way he didn’t know that Theo was doing that. And the jerk kept that little tidbit to himself. Theo jerks back a step, pulling away from my touch, and I frown to myself as I continue, “You’ve been watching all this time, hiding in the shadows. And I have been waiting, but you never came back to me. Never took that final step. Why?”

I don’t understand. If he has been watching me from the shadows, watching over me in his own messed up way, why didn’t he come back? Reach out? Tell me?

“What?” He steps away from me now, just out of reach.

“What do you mean, ‘what’?

“What you said just then? You called me your ghost.”

Well hell, now I really am confused. Did he not just hear my whole little spiel? My whole, laying my vulnerable heart out on the line moment, there? “Uh, yeah. I call you my ghost because that is what you have been. Literally haunting me ever since I moved up here after graduation. If not yourself in person, you’re on television, billboards, radio broadcasts discussing your stats. I literally have not been able to escape you, not even when I desperately wanted to.” As if this isn’t obvious.

“I know you’ve called me that before, but I just thought of something. When did you first start referring to me as your ghost? Who have you said it to?”

There is an urgency in his voice that I don’t understand, and his tone is completely off from the romantic moment I thought we were just about to have. He steps closer once more, throwing me slightly off balance, but grabs my arms to steady me.

“Uh, I don’t know.” I try to think back to when I first found out that he was the one hanging around Prism every night. I had been so freaked out, had felt eyes watching me for days, but was never able to find anyone when I tried to catch the peeping tom. That had been back in the early days, when the building was still being renovated before our grand opening, and we didn’t have a good security set-up yet. But I had been working late in the gymnasium, trying to finish painting, and thought that I had caught the reflection of a man in the window. I recall running over, but by the time I reached the emergency side exit the person had vanished.

I had been so freaked out, especially after my most recent stalker ‘gift’ that I had called Finn and Jonathan and made them both meet me there. New cameras and a better security system were both installed by the next morning; and the following evening, who should happen to appear in that new security feed, but my Hoodie Guy. My diligent defector. Apparently, he was also determined to be my shadow, not content to just haunt me with his popularity throughout the city of his dreams. No, he had effectively become the ghost that haunts me in the night. I could change cities, change men, but I couldn’t outrun him. It made me miss him, miss what we had once been together. And I hated him for it.

Then, I found comfort in it.

“Prism was still under renovation at the time, not too long after I officially moved to the city. Like 3 years ago, maybe? Wh- Theo! Where are you going?” I shout after him as he turns abruptly, not saying a word to me as he makes a beeline up the stairs. “Theo! Where are you going?” What the actual fuck is going on right now?

Quickly, I make my way up the stairs, just catching him as he turns a corner at the end of the hall and enters a room that I have not explored yet. “Theo! What the hell?” My voice is breathless as I trail after him, walking into what appears to be an office. Dark wood, clean lines, and meticulously neat. An accurate reflection of the man who now occupies the space.

My hooded ghost doesn’t answer; his back to me as he swings a canvas photo away from the wall, revealing a hidden safe. Placing his hand on a pad, it scans his prints before I hear a soft ‘click’ and the lock releases. Stepping closer, I try to peer around his shoulder as he opens the thick door, but all I see are a pile of ripped up papers and a thick folder. Theo grabs the ragged sheets in his fist, before turning and throwing them down on top of the desk next to me. The rustling of paper fills the air as he hurriedly flips through the pages, and then he stops, turning abruptly to face me, holding a small piece of paper in front of me excitedly.

“I knew it!”

“Theo! I have no idea what you’re talking about. What the hell is going on?” I am getting really pissed off right now, his strange behavior and lack of communication leave much to be desired .

“Here! Look at this!” He shoves the paper in my face, and I grab it with a scowl, moving it down slightly, so that I can see more than just a blur of letters as I quietly read the words out loud. . .

“I see the way you watch her from the shadows. Did you think I wouldn’t know? Do you think that I’m stupid? That I wouldn’t find out about your voyeuristic tendencies? I’m . . .”

I pause, jaw dropping in shock, and glance up quickly at Theo as he finishes reading the words on the page.

“I’m the true ghost here, not you.”

“That note was left for me a few months ago. I didn’t make the connection at first, when you called me your ghost. I knew it sounded familiar but couldn’t remember why. But this! This right here! I know Finn suspected your stalker and my blackmailer were the same, but this confirms it. Not only that, we might be able to use this to figure out who the bastard is!”

His excitement is infectious, it’s hard not to feel it when it seems we have some sort of tangible connection between the two.

“But wait, you said you started receiving letters back starting the summer we were dating?”

“Well, technically, I received my first one at the end of hockey season. Found the first note in my locker when I was cleaning it out, and then came out to find an envelope waiting for me in my car. Why?”

Looking down at the papers strewn across his desk, I finger the torn edge of the one closest to me. “I didn’t receive my first note until October, almost six months later. At the time, I had chalked it up to an overenthusiastic fan. The notes and gifts were all rather innocuous, at first.”

I frown, lost in thought as I try to muddle through the confusing pieces in my head. “So, what changed? Why start sending me letters six months after you had been receiving yours? And why the different tone, if they were coming from the same person? Mine didn’t become overtly threatening until earlier this year, so what changed?”

“It’s definitely something we need to find out. But first, we need to narrow down who knows that you call me your ‘ghost’.”

Theo pulls out his phone, typing away as he speaks. “I’m updating Jayce and Darrion; letting Finn know as well. I’ll bet he is going to have a field day with this new information.”