Chapter 4

FOUR

I’m able to eat, as if all my emotions have settled, and Louis kisses my head as he passes to take my now empty plate away. “Good girl,” he coos, making my thighs clench as heat builds in my core. He knows exactly what he’s doing.

Jonas grins at me, flipping a knife in his hand as he reads. D is lost in his computer, Isaac is helping Ana with Sam, and Nico is showering. I could rest, but I don’t want to. We need to find something, anything, that links my father to this.

Louis has to debrief with command for a few hours, so I spend that time searching the notes and experiments, looking for his handiwork.

“Jonas,” I murmur as I read one experiment. “Does this seem familiar to you?” I hand the file over, certain I experienced the exact same experiment, but it’s more than that. The writing looks familiar, but I don’t remember why. It’s not Father’s, that’s for sure.

He takes the folder and scans it before I see him shut down. “The man who wrote this is dead. Move on.”

“Really? I recognise it—”

“He’s dead!” he roars, his eyes wild, and my head jerks back automatically as I prepare for an attack.

D looks up. I nod to let him know I have this and stand carefully, like I would with a wild animal. I round the table with my hands out, ignoring my adrenaline to focus on him. His chest is heaving, and his eyes dart everywhere.

He’s been triggered. I know the signs.

Crouching to make myself smaller, I keep my hands to myself and just let him see it’s me. “Jonas, it’s okay, babe. It is just me. It’s just your Nova.”

“He’s dead,” he repeats. “Dead. Dead.”

“Okay, this file is dated a while ago,” I say, and he nods jerkily.

“Dead, he’s dead,” he repeats.

I share a worried look with D as Louis comes into the room. D urges me to carry on, so gently I lay my hand on his thigh. He jerks and grabs me, slamming me to the table with his hand on my throat.

It happens in a split second, but I ignore my instincts and relax into his hold.

I hold up my other hand to the others who want to break us apart, stopping them. Jonas is attacking but not killing, and he doesn’t see me. I need to make him see me before they hurt him.

“Baby, come back to me,” I purr, feeling his hand tighten on my throat as mine drifts up his chest to his face. He shakes his head, but I hold on tight, digging my nails in. “It’s me. It’s your Nova.”

“No,” he whispers raggedly.

Leaning up, I lay kisses along every edge of his face I can reach. “It’s me,” I promise. “Come back to me.”

His hand slowly loosens as he blinks, and I see realisation dawn in his eyes. I don’t let him pull away in shock or fear, instead wrapping my legs around his waist and holding on as I continue to kiss him. “If you wanted to choke me, all you had to do was ask.” I grin, teasing him.

He smiles shakily as he lifts me and sits heavily. Curling up on his lap, I stroke his chest and hair and whisper teasing comments to him as he works through this. The others relax slightly and at my nod, they drift out of the room to give us some space.

“Sorry, so sorry, baby,” he mutters, burying his head in my neck. “I’m usually okay and better prepared for the triggers, but the writing took me off guard.”

“It’s okay,” I murmur. “I understand, you know that. You could never hurt me, not really.”

“I could though. I could kill you.” He shivers, clutching me tighter.

“We would never let that happen. Trust me, Jonas,” I murmur, lifting his head so I can meet his eyes. I hesitate. I don’t want to push this, but he needs to talk about it. I need to know what to avoid so I don’t trigger him again. “What happened? You said they are dead.”

I see the vulnerability in his eyes. Whoever this person is, it’s someone he fears, which is not something I ever thought I’d say about Jonas.

“I killed him. I hunted him down. The others helped, knowing I needed to. I couldn’t sleep knowing he was still out there. He was my first kill. I was seventeen.”

“You killed him because he deserved it.” I have no doubts. “He’s dead. He can’t hurt you.”

“But he did so badly, Nova. He was my tormentor. When they left me to go insane, it was on his orders. Your father left him in charge of me. He was not a good man. He was not in it for science or experiments, but because he liked to hurt people. He was cruel, Nova, and he broke me. I still barely cling onto my sanity. Sometimes, I wake up thinking I’m back in the cage like the animal he called me.”

“But you aren’t, you are here with me, and they can’t have you ever again. Do you understand?” I demand.

“He watched me, beat me, tortured me, left me alone in a pitch-black room for days, and shocked my brain over and over. Nova, what if he truly did ruin me?”

“Then he ruined me too,” I snarl. “You, Jonas, are not ruined. You are fucking perfect, and I love you. You believe that, right?”

He nods sadly.

“Good, and I don’t love someone who doesn’t deserve it. Fuck what they did, fuck them, fuck them all. I’ll kill every single one if it will help you sleep.” I lean in. “But you have to stay with me, fight with me. He’s dead, Jonas, and soon they will all join him for what they did. I can’t change the past and what happened, but I promise I will never let them hurt you again.”

“Promise?” he whispers trustingly.

“I promise. I promise you all. I will never, ever let them hurt you.” I search his gaze until he nods. “Come back to me,” I plead, still sensing the distance and hating it. I lean in and kiss him. When he kisses me back, I pull away, watching him rebuild himself.

Sometimes I forget how fragile Jonas can truly be. Unlike the rest of us, something in his mind shattered from the torture, and he fights every day to not let it consume him, but sometimes it wins, and I’ll be there every time to help bring him back and put it back together for him.

The writing . . .

As I hold him, I realise where I’ve seen it.

The same man had come here once, writing on his pad and observing my father. When my father left, he leaned into me and promised we would have some fun.

Jonas was right; he deserved to die. I only had moments with him and I saw the evil in his gaze. I’m glad Jonas got to face him in the end and take back that power, but I couldn’t hate my father more than I do right now as I hold the man I love.

The others slowly trickle back into the room, and I spend the rest of the day on Jonas’s lap, teasing him and making him laugh until he’s somewhat back to normal.

I feel the others’ worry for him, for us, for me.

For what is to come.

I feel it, too, like we are on a precipice and none of us know what is coming next.

It won’t be good, so we hold onto the moments we have in hopes that it will be enough to get us through.

* * *

“Nova, I don’t care if you’re getting freaky, get dressed! We are having a family meal!” my sister yells up the stairs.

I, in fact, was getting freaky, or about to, with Jonas pinned under me, chained to my bed.

He snarls, “Ignore her.”

“Now!” she yells.

“She will just keep yelling.” I grin.

“Then we can be quick,” he says, tugging on his chains to try and get to me.

“If I come up there and see some stuff that scars me, I’m blaming you. Come on, everyone is coming. It’s a family meal like we used to have.”

Well, shit, the guilt trip gets me moving as I ignore Jonas’s complaints. He peers down at his hard cock sadly. “Sorry, little J, maybe later.”

Laughing, I throw his pants at him and quickly unchain him before I slip into my loose shorts, a tank top, and a cardigan before walking downstairs to meet my sister. “Bad timing,” I mutter.

She grins at me so widely, it makes me grin back. “I don’t care, come on. When was the last time we had a family dinner together?”

Taking her hand, I follow her after. “Long time,” I admit.

“Yep, well, we are having one, all of us.”

I let her pull me into the formal dining room, where everyone else is already seated. The table has been laid with candles and fancy china and more food than even my guys can eat. They all grin as I sit with Ana to my right, Sam next to her, and Louis to my left. Jonas comes in with a groan, rearranging himself as he glares at my sister.

“Not the right way to get us to like you,” he complains as he huffs and sits down, but then he spots the meal and claps like a kid. “Yay, chicken!”

Laughing, I watch Bert bring in more plates. “That is everything. I hope you enjoy.”

“Uh-uh, sit down, Bert. You are family,” I order.

He freezes at the door, searching our gazes. Louis instantly moves from my side, patting the empty seat. “Come on, she’s right. You’re family.”

Tears form in his eyes, but he blinks them away as he carefully sits next to me. Grinning, I lay a napkin in his lap and start to dig in. He scans everyone, watching them laugh and talk before a soft smile curves his lips.

“You are correct. You are my family.”

Squeezing his hand, I smile up at him. “You are ours and always have been. Thank you for taking care of us.”

I feel him watching me as I eat, but I let him work through his emotions, knowing he needs to. The food is delicious, and the conversations flow. Everyone is having a good time. Sam tells everyone stories of his army days. The others chime in and all the while, he holds Ana’s hand and keeps putting food on her plate.

I wink when I catch her blushing, and she flips me off, making me laugh.

It’s honestly one of the best nights I’ve ever had. My entire family is in one place, and after taking down the amazing desserts Bert brings out, we all just lounge around the table, too full to move, and enjoy each other’s company.

“Oh, I forgot. Something came for you earlier.” Bert drops an expensive white envelope before me as he begins to clear the table with some of the guys’ help. Frowning, I turn it over to see a red-wax seal. I rip it open, and a thick piece of cardstock drops out, clearly letting me see my father’s handwriting.

Everything screeches to a halt inside of me as I stare at the note.

“Nova?” Isaac calls, noticing my silence, and everyone else turns to me.

“It’s from my father,” I murmur, and you could hear a pin drop at the sudden silence.

“What does it say?” Ana asks.

Swallowing, I pick it up, already feeling sick.

I don’t want to read it, I really don’t, but that won’t solve anything. Being brave, I clear my throat and begin to read it out loud.

Dearest daughter,

For all of my wrongdoings, I have done something right. You. I watched you become the very thing I was aiming for, and now it’s time to come home to me—where you belong, where you will only ever belong. Only I can understand you. The others are just holding you back. Think of all the things we can do, Novaleen. Ana was my control group and she has failed me. I no longer need her or the others.

Only you.

So come to me before it is too late.

Yours,

Father

Looking up, I see Ana wrapped tightly in Sam’s arms like he can protect her from his words. Louis is already on his feet, and the others are coming towards me.

“It’s a threat, a promise,” I whisper, looking around. “If I don’t go to him, he’ll hurt you all.”

“He won’t be able to,” Louis snaps. “You are not going to him.”

“Maybe I should?” I suggest. “But not in the way he wants. We will all go to him to kill him.”

“Did he say where?”

I shake my head and Louis sighs.

“Then it’s moot at the moment. He thinks you can figure it out, though, so think hard, Nova. Meanwhile, I want patrols. Two of us need to be awake at all times, and no one is to go outside of the grounds alone. We watch each other’s backs, stay close, and ride this out until we figure out our next move.”

I nod, but my eyes go back to the note.

Before it’s too late . . .

What is he planning to do?