Chapter 3

THREE

“Sam, this is my sister, Nova.”

“The one who helped save me.” He slides to his feet with a wince, and Ana moves forward, holding him up with a grunt.

“Sit down now!” she reprimands him.

“Yes, doc.” He grins cheekily at her, watching her as she helps him sit and then fusses over his blankets and IV drip. The look in his eyes can only be described as soft, even as she tells him off, and for a moment, I want to turn away and let them have this moment, but he glances up at me. Some of that softness remains, but it’s different. That look was for her alone.

I know because I see it in my men’s eyes every single day.

After a few drinks with Ana, where we mourned what has to come, I felt the need to get moving and she needed to check on Sam, so here we are. She’s obviously been taking good care of him, and there is clearly a bond between them.

“Thank you,” he offers. “Did you get them?”

Sighing, I lean into the wall. “Not all of them, but we will.”

“Annie told me all about your father.”

“Oh, has she?” I grin as she blushes and ducks her head, the nickname seeming familiar on his lips. Despite my frustration, my turmoil, and the emotions I feel about what has happened, I’m almost giddy about the shared look they exchange.

“If I can help in any way, please let me know,” he finishes sombrely.

“You need to rest, not help,” Ana hisses. “Otherwise, I’ll chain you to the bed.”

“Kinky.” He winks, making her blush brighter, and I grin as I push away from the wall.

“I just came to check on you, but it’s been a long few days so I’m going to rest.”

And leave them alone, but I don’t say that.

He nods, but they are both lost in each other as I saunter away. The whiskey still burns my stomach, since I’m not used to drinking. We had a few more and some of Bert’s tea and sandwiches before she brought me to see Sam, but now I’m exhausted.

My legs almost drag behind me as I head upstairs, unsure where my guys are but knowing they are close. They are probably checking the perimeter since we now know my father is about and could be, and probably is, watching our every move.

I should do a million things, but instead, I find myself stopping at my sister’s room, needing comfort. I slide between her sheets fully clothed and close my eyes as I breathe in her scent. The familiar fragrance fills my lungs.

My heart aches, and my emotions are all over the place, but I’m so very tired.

When the bed moves, I crack open my eyes to see her. She slides in opposite me, taking my hand and holding it in the bed between us. She doesn’t have to say anything, she just holds my hand as I close my eyes once more.

She’s supporting me, just like when we were kids and I would sneak into her bed when she had nightmares. Only now, it’s her turn to protect me from the very real nightmares I know are still to come.

“I’ve got you, Nova, sleep,” she whispers.

And I do.

* * *

When I wake up, the room is dark and moonlight streams through the window, illuminating Ana’s sleeping face. Her hand is still in mine, holding it tightly like she will never let go, and the sheets are twisted around us.

So I don’t disturb her. Knowing she hasn’t been getting enough rest, I slide out of bed, pad around it, and stop above her, looking down at her too young, too innocent face. Tucking the blankets around her, I brush her hair back and lean down to place a kiss on her forehead. “He won’t hurt you. I promise,” I murmur before slipping from the room, pressing my back to the door, and sucking in slow breaths.

At least one good thing came of all of this—we are back together and a family once more, even if it is dysfunctional and healing. Pushing from the door, I use the bathroom before heading downstairs in search of everyone.

I expect them to be asleep, but I should have known better.

They are in the dining room with the research spread out around them, organised into piles. Louis is on the phone arguing with someone, and D is on his laptop.

“What’s happening?” I murmur as Bert comes in with a tray of mugs, which looks like it’s not the first time. He smiles when he sees me and hands me a coffee. Taking it, I warm my hands as I meet their gazes.

“We are finding your father and any kids or soldiers who may still be alive,” Nico replies as if it’s simple, and maybe it is. I told them we needed to, so now they are.

“But you need to sleep—”

“And you need answers and for this to end,” Jonas retorts as he accepts a mug. Bert leans in and lays a gentle kiss on Jonas’s head like a father would before sneaking him a plate of pancakes that puts a wide, childlike smile on his face.

“You did this for me?” I murmur.

“We are a team, a family. It’s what we do,” Isaac says as he pulls out a chair for me. I sit with my mug, and he hands me a folder. “Here, look for anything helpful. It’s not easy reading, so if you need a break, we understand.”

Looking around the table, I can’t help but tear up. “I love you all.”

“We know.” D winks, glancing up from the laptop.

Louis hangs up and comes to me, leaning down and kissing my forehead. “We love you too, now get to work,” he teases.

“Yes, sir.” I grin, opening the folder and diving in.

Hours later, my head hurts and all of my good feelings have disappeared into nothing but anger and hatred. Shoving my black hair into a bun, I lean back to stretch, ignoring the looks I feel thrown at me.

I know they are worried about how I am taking all of this. After all, I thought we were so close to stopping all of this and finally destroying everything my father built, only to be right back at the beginning. It’s hard not to feel dejected and angry, but I try to hide it from them, even as I plunge myself inside those feelings, knowing I will need to survive what’s to come.

After all, what I told Annie is true: I will have to kill my father.

Despite everything he has done, there is a price for taking a life, and it will be steep, but I will gladly pay it to protect children and soldiers and to stop the abominations he calls experiments.

“Here, Miss Nova.” Bert places a plate next to me. “You must eat.”

I lift my head, and he frowns at whatever he sees there. “Please,” he adds, his face contorted in worry. “I will go check on Mr. Sam to make sure he is okay so Ana may sleep.”

“Has she not been?” I find myself asking.

He grins. “Like you, she is unable to rest when there is a job to be done, but you cannot do that job when you’re exhausted, hungry, and weak, so eat.” He infuses his tone with a command, the same one he used on me as a child, and I smile but turn back to the folder, feeling too sick to eat.

What they did to this man . . .

It’s a crime against humanity.

Acts of pure evil disguised by the word “science.”

I always knew my father was evil and that what he did was wrong, but I never really understood the extent of his reach and ability to hurt others to get what he wanted.

“Nova, eat,” Nico snaps.

“I can’t,” I retort, glaring at him as he leans into me, ready to fight, his nostrils flaring.

I know it’s only because he cares, but that dark part of me lights up at the prospect of releasing some of these emotions through a fight. Suddenly, Louis stands and rounds the table, kicking my chair back.

“Come on,” he demands. “Nico, you too.”

Expecting us to follow, he heads outside, and with nothing else to do, we file out after him. He turns to us, rolling back his sleeves as he watches me, and then gestures to the grass. “Well then, if you want to spar, then go ahead. If you want to fight us and take it out on us, then go ahead.”

“I don’t know what you mean,” I mutter in shame.

“Nico, you’re in,” Louis orders, keeping his eyes on me. “Yes, you do. You need to fight. Nico does as well, so you are not the only one. Reading all that is not easy, and it leaves you feeling frustrated and useless, so get it all out, and then we will get back in there and you will eat.” He grabs my chin. “Even if I have to force-feed you, you will fucking eat, baby, and then we will figure this out. You are not alone, Nova. You will never be alone, so stop acting like it. We are in this together, my love. You will remember that or we will remind you every single day we are alive.”

Swallowing, I search his gaze. He lets me, shielding nothing and letting me see his own anger, frustration, and horror at what has been done.

“We’ve got you, baby. We’ve got you. If you need us to hold you while you cry, if you need us to burn the world at your side, or you just simply need this to help you work through your emotions, then we will. We will do anything because we are a family. We don’t just get the happy emotions, but the bitter ones too. Nothing is ever too much for us, so stop shielding us and pushing us out. We want it. We want every brutal, raw edge. We can take it.”

“What if I can’t? What if I can’t take it? What if I’m not strong enough?” I admit.

“Then we will be strong for you,” he promises, stroking my cheek. “But, Nova, you are the strongest person I have ever met. Strength isn’t measured by how tall you stand, but by how beautifully you break and get back up, and you, Nova, have been broken so many times, only to put yourself back together and keep going. You still believe in good, in love, in hope, and right and wrong despite the world never doing anything for you. Despite only seeing evil, you fight for good. We all do. We are all this world has.”

“Then it’s fucked,” I joke, “because I’m not a hero, Louis. I never was. I’m just a scarred, angry woman trying to get back at her father.”

“Maybe you started as that, but now you are so much more,” he counters, angry at me tearing myself down. “Now you are one of us. You saved that man in there. You saved every single one of us. You walked into gunfire with our family to stop the experiments no one else cares about. You are magnificent, Nova, and not in the way your father always wanted you to be, but in the way that makes me love you more. You are real. You’re flawed, emotional, and stubborn as hell but so fucking strong, I feel awe just being around you. No matter what is thrown at you, you never stop fighting, and that, Nova? That is what he can never take away from us or understand in all of his experiments. He wants to better humanity, but he didn’t realise that by torturing you, by destroying you and letting you be reborn in the flames, he had already achieved that. You, Nova, are the best person I’ve ever and will ever meet. Now get your sexy ass on that grass and fight it out with Nico so we can get back to work, because like it or not, you’re the only fucking hero this world fucking has, and we have to stop this. Together.”

“Come on, beautiful, show me what you’ve got,” Nico taunts, and I turn to see him shirtless and waiting. I know he needs this as much as I do. Both of us are angry at the situation we have found ourselves in once more, feeling dejected and let down, and we need an outlet. This is it for us, a healthy way of expressing it, and Louis is right. They can handle it. Nico can handle it. I need to stop testing them and pushing them away because I expect them to leave. It’s easier for me to create distance so it doesn’t hurt as badly.

But I’m beginning to realise that pain is the whole reason we live.

We hurt and love and do it all over again. Otherwise, why are we fighting so hard every day to make the most of the life we have? Love doesn’t have to be grand and beautiful; it can be this, a man willing to fight for you, willing to show up every day and put in the work.

Life isn’t perfect—fuck knows I know that better than anyone—and it hurts you over and over, but I truly believe it never throws more at you than you are willing to endure, and you’ll find a shred of happiness in the chaos. You just have to be strong enough, brave enough, to hold on tight and fight for it.

Even if it hurts like hell to do so.

Even if in the end, you are giving them the power to hurt you back.

Trust, I’m finally understanding, is the scariest thing of all.

It’s so easy to break but so hard to earn.

I have theirs, though, and they have mine, and if I let them . . .

I think they just might save me from myself.

“Come on, Nova,” Nico teases.

Rolling my eyes, I step onto the grass and face him. He doesn’t wait—there’s no clean sweep here. No, he comes at me, swinging his fists. I duck his first hit and sweep my leg out, which he jumps over, and then there is no more thinking.

Louis is right. I let out all the emotions taking me away from them, and I use them to make my movements faster and hits harder, and Nico takes it all. His eyes are bright with glee as we spar, moving around the grass. We are evenly matched because what he has in bulk and weight, I make up for in speed and attitude.

I manage to connect a hit, and he stumbles back.

There are cheers, and when I look up, I realise everyone is gathered outside, even Annie with Sam leaning on her shoulder. “Kick his ass, Nova!” he calls, making me chuckle, but the distraction is all Nico needs.

He holds nothing back, hitting me like a freight train and knocking my breath clear out. I feel a rib crack as I slam to the ground. Grinning down at me, he blows me a kiss. “You getting slow, baby?”

“Nah, you’re just getting bigger,” I tease as I throw my legs up and flip back to my feet, circling him.

“You’d know.” He winks, making me burst out laughing even as I fling myself at him.

The movements come easily to me as I fall into old practice routines, but Nico is just as good as I. I’m definitely more martial arts focused, whereas he fights dirty, but it works. We both take hits that would make the others fall and we keep going after each other, knowing we can take it. We exhaust our bodies and minds until we both start to slow.

I see an opening when his left hand drops. Slipping under his guard, I sucker punch him and sweep my other leg out, knocking him back on his ass, but just as quickly, he kicks my legs out and I fall beside him.

Panting, sweaty, and grinning, I turn my head and meet his eyes. “Better?” he whispers.

“Yeah, you?” I ask as he reaches over and takes my hand.

“Much.” He squeezes as I hear footsteps approaching and look up to find Louis clapping.

Crouching over me, Louis pushes my hair back. “We are not your enemy, Nova. We love you, and we can take everything you throw at us. You can always work out those emotions with us without worrying. We feel it too.”

He holds out his hand, giving me a choice to keep fighting alone or to let go and be with them.

I take his hand and let him pull me up, choosing to let him save me.