Chapter 7

That night, I couldn’t sleep. I kept remembering Curtis scooting over, leaning toward me, his gaze fixated on my lips. After hours of tossing and turning, I threw off my covers and went into the sitting room. I curled up on the sofa with a blanket but still couldn’t get comfortable. I lit a candle and attempted to read, but my eyes wouldn’t focus on the words. Curtis’ face kept swimming before my eyes, looking disappointed and rejected.

Of course he would look rejected; I had run away from him! I sighed heavily, not sure what to think. If I opened that door, what would happen? I actively woke up my imagination, and let it rush into overdrive, imaging Curtis holding my hand, hugging me close, kissing me.

I jumped as someone entered the room. It was Comfort, sleepily shuffling over. “I thought I heard someone,” she said, and peered into my face. “What is wrong? You leapt a mile when I walked in.”

I hugged my knees. I wanted so badly to talk to someone about the Curtis situation, but also felt embarrassed discussing it. But what were big sisters for if not to confide in about boys? I wanted to ask so many things but didn’t know where to start.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” I asked rather timidly.

Comfort looked suddenly wide awake. “Why do you ask?” She grinned, and I could tell she already could guess.

“I think um…someone…someone maybe wanted to kiss me today.” I said evasively.

“So you are saying that Curtis tried to kiss you but you didn’t let him?” Comfort asked knowingly.

I looked up, amazed. “How did you know?”

Comfort smiled and slid onto the sofa with me and pulled some of the blanket to cover her legs. “Let’s see, the only boy you ever spend time with is Curtis, and it is obvious he likes you a lot and I’ve been wondering when he would make a move. Secondly, you said that someone tried to kiss you. If he had succeeded, you would have phrased the question differently. Thirdly, you are sitting here looking all gloomy and upset, and if you had actually kissed him, you wouldn’t have been able to stop smiling. So my guess is that you got scared and bolted, am I right?”

I gaped at her.

Comfort smiled broadly. “Big sisters know a thing or two.”

“Do you really think he likes me?” I asked. I knew the answer, but wanted to hear it validated from someone else.

Comfort giggled. “Oh puh-leez. He can’t take his eyes off of you and is always finding excuses to touch you.”

I blushed.

Comfort jiggled my shoulder. “Hey, if you were going to be with anyone, Curtis is a great choice. He really likes you, you already do everything together, and for goodness sakes, he is a prince! Just imagine, you could be second in line to be queen!”

“That makes it sound like I am using him,” I protested.

Comfort ignored my comment and instead asked, “Do you like him?”

“Yes,” I answered quietly. “I do. A lot.”

Comfort raised her eyebrows at me, as if to say ‘Then what is the problem?’

“But what if it doesn’t work out between us?” I asked in a rush.

“If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out,” Comfort said breezily. “But at least you won’t regret not ever finding out. And besides, you and Curtis are perfect for each other. He gets you to have fun, and you stop him from doing anything too crazy. You have similar interests, and you think that he is soooooo handsome…” she puckered her lips and I rolled my eyes.

“So have you ever kissed anyone?” I asked.

“Four someones, actually,” Comfort admitted. “But don’t tell Father!”

“Who?” I asked eagerly. “Tell me!”

“Do you remember Fredrick, the stable boy?”

I gasped. “Does Father know you have been kissing stable boys?”

“Shhhh! No he doesn’t. And he better never find out. So do you remember him?”

I screwed up my face as I searched my memory. “I don’t think so…Wait, was he that boy with black hair that was always following you around a couple years back?”

Comfort giggled. “That is the one. Well, I thought he was cute, and I would always find excuses to go down to the stables, pretend I had lost a hair clip during riding lessons, and he would help me look, but we both knew I hadn’t really lost anything. And then he would come deliver messages to Father or would volunteer to help with the horses for my horseback riding classes. Anyway, one day we snuck away to the woods, and he kissed me.”

“Just like that?” I asked incredulously.

“Well, it was the first time for both of us, so it was a little sloppy. But,” she winked, “practice makes perfect!”

“Weren’t you nervous?”

“Of course I was! Everyone is the first time. But he was really cute and I wanted to know what it felt like.”

“What about numbers two, three, and four?” I asked.

“Let’s see…” Comfort began ticking off on her fingers. “James was that one squire I would always dance with. Charles was an earl’s son that would take me out on long carriage rides. And then there was Theodore, who knew all the secret passageways and hidden rooms in the castle. All. Of. Them.” She grinned wickedly.

I couldn’t believe it! Prim and proper Comfort, sneaking around kissing stable boys and squires?

“What happened to them?” I asked curiously.

Comfort shrugged. “Stable boys don’t hang around long. They usually move on to bigger and better things. James was gone a lot with the knight he serves, and Charles became smitten with some girl in town about the time that Theodore noticed me. James and Theodore had a fight over me though.” Her mischievous smile broadened. “Theodore won.”

I stared. I couldn’t help it. Comfort always seemed so ladylike.

Comfort giggled. “Don’t look so shocked! It is flattering to be desired. You should know.”

I bit my lip. “What should I do though? Curtis was so upset when I pulled away.”

“Boys are pretty simple creatures,” Comfort said matter-of-factly as she picked a bit of stuffing out of the pillow she was holding. “They really aren’t difficult to figure out. He likes you and tried to kiss you, and you ran off, right?”

“Right.”.

“So he was really disappointed and probably got all grumpy and pouty, right?”

“Right.”

“So now, all you have to do is go back and say that you like him.”

“I can’t do that!”

“Why not?”

“That would be weird!”

“He already told you that he likes you, didn’t he?”

“No he didn’t.”

“He tried to kiss you, didn’t he? That is the same thing.”

“But I just can’t tell him that!”

Comfort rolled her eyes, exasperated. “Look, Truly. He was probably super nervous. It doesn’t matter if he is a prince or a serving boy from the kitchens. Boys do all the asking. All the initiating. All the leaning in, hoping to get something, anything, back. It was a huge blow to his ego to have you reject him.”

I felt crushed. What had I done?

“I know you didn’t mean it that way!” Comfort hurried on. “I know you wouldn’t want to do anything that would hurt him. But you were scared. So tell him that. Tell him that you were scared but that you do like him. He will try again if he knows he won’t get rejected.”

“But it will be awkward.”

“Of course it will be awkward,” Comfort exclaimed. “But would you rather have one awkward conversation and everything be fixed, or no conversation and every interaction with him from now until forever be awkward? Just watch. He will start to avoid you. And if you don’t address the issue, he won’t ever talk to you again. He won’t even look at you again. So tell him! I promise, he will appreciate it. The longer you put it off the worse it will be. If you say nothing, it will get worse and worse, so it feels like you are becoming more distant each day, and then that becomes your new normal—never talking or looking at each other ever again. Is that what you want?”

“Well, when you put it that way…”

“Boys need a lot of encouragement,” Comfort said knowingly. “But they are a little obtuse too. So don’t drop subtle hints. Be blunt, and he will forgive you.” She paused. “And then tell me what happens after. Sisters need to know these things.”