21. Chapter 21

Why had I asked that question? Of all the things I should have asked, this was the most important one? But it had stung when I saw Sandra fussing over him after he had rebuked me so openly.

"You weren't supposed to have been there," Khadahr, no, Tzar-Than, said. Khadahr is his title , I reminded myself, a title like sergeant, major, or maybe even a general. I had suspected from the beginning that he was more than a regular warrior, a suspicion proven when he took command of our group. But it didn't really matter to me if he was a sergeant or general or lord or whatever.

"So you were mad at me when you realized I was," I clarified.

He huffed as if that was the understatement of the year. "I was furious."

"Okay, so you were so mad that you didn't want me to care for your wounds?" It was my turn to huff. How could someone be that stubborn ?

He shook his head. "It was the timing," he corrected.

"Timing?" I repeated until it dawned on me that I might have undermined his maleness in front of his warriors when I offered to tend to him right after the fight, even though the difference between that moment and when he entered camp still eluded me.

"Alright," I allowed and pondered the elephant in the room, or whatever it would be called out here in the open. "But why were you going to punish the two warriors? They didn't do anything bad."

His features closed up. "They allowed you to be in danger."

I tried not to overthink that statement: O ne step at a time I tried to tell myself, P atience is a virtue , and I tried not to read too much into the They allowed you to be in danger part. I understood that he didn't specifically mean me. Any woman who would have been there instead of me would have raised his ire.

Before I could follow up, he wanted to know, "Why did you volunteer to take their punishment? You didn't know that we would never hurt a gallis."

"I didn't," I confirmed. "But I couldn't let them take the punishment after I bullied them into taking me along." Which was when I remembered that I indeed owed him an apology for what he had done. "How is your back?"

"My back?"

"From the lashes," I clarified and moved around him to see.

There were some angry welts, red marks, and a few spots where blood had crusted over. I put my hand tentatively on his broad shoulders, afraid to touch and hurt him if I placed my fingers on the welts.

He shrugged. "They'll heal."

"I'm sorry," I finally managed. "I didn't know I volunteered you when I did…" I drifted off.

He moved around to look at me, and my hand fell off his shoulder. I stuffed it into my pocket to keep it to myself. What the hell was wrong with me? Ever since the kiss, my hands basically gravitated toward him.

Which brought another memory forward: Y ou'll do . The red-hot rush of outrage that had run through my veins and stomach when he first said those words reignited. Instead of asking about that—because I was a coward—I asked another that had been burning in my mind ever since our conversation in the lab.

"Why do you want human women as mates anyway? Won't yours be furious?"

His face closed up. So fast and hard, it was as if somebody had drawn a rushing curtain.

"We need to go back to camp." His voice was as icy as his expression.

A dark suspicion rose inside me. "Has something happened to your women?"

Good God, what if they had all died of some disease? These barbarians wouldn't understand that if that was the case; they would endanger all of us, especially if it only affected women.

I didn't think it was physically possible, but he grew right in front of me. Wider, taller. Or maybe that was just my imagination because, for some reason, I had forgotten how much bigger he was than me. My mind reminded me now that he and I were all alone out here.

He had railed at me before, but I had never been afraid of him. Now, the first stirring of a cold, primal fear spread its wings inside me.

Instead of cowering away and calling it a day—or night, in our case—his action only intensified my sudden urge to find out what had happened to the women of his species.

When he grabbed my forearm to pull me back to camp, I set my feet as brakes, aware that this wouldn't stop him. If he really wanted to, he could have easily dragged me all the way back, but I hoped he would take notice of me trying to bring us to a halt.

He let go of my arm and kept marching on.

"Tzar-Than," I cried after him, "what happened to your women?"

He never stopped. He kept on moving away from me. When he was but a distant shape against the darkness, he turned his head over his shoulder. His eyes glowed red in the dark. I couldn't see his expression, but a shudder moved through me even before his words reached me.

"They are dead. You humans killed them."

How was one supposed to go to sleep with words like that echoing in her brain? Like a puppet, I lay down on my bed after finding my way back to camp, listening to the snoring of my tent mates.

They are dead. You humans killed them.

Tzar-Than's words repeated with every heavy thump of my heart.

How ?

Why ?

Those questions burned a hole in my chest.

Other images from this disastrous day popped up behind my closed eyelids: images of the creature trying to kill me, Tzar-Than fighting it, Tzar-Than staring at me, Tzar-Tan kissing me— Holy shit, Tzar-Than kissed me! And his name was Tzar-Than, not Khadahr. Tzar-Than , I sighed. I liked that so much better. Not to forget my fight with Sandra and Tzar-Than being lashed. The images kept coming at me in no particular order. They were more than one person should have to experience in the span of twelve hours.

I groaned. This wasn't going to work.

It was dark in the tent, darker than outside, so I just grabbed my boots, determined to put them on when I could see better. Making as little noise as possible, I snuck by the other three beds. I held the tent flap in my hand when Kenley sleepily asked, "Where are you going?"

"I can't sleep. I'll be right back," I whispered, closing the flap behind me .

Outside, the night air was cool and crisp. The twisted trees looked ominous in the dark. The flickering light of torches and fires seemed to make them come to life, as if they were dancing in their spots.

A few Vandruks patrolled the quiet camp, and I made out a lone human guard on their side, talking to… was that Dawn? What was she doing out here? I hadn't seen her talk to the guards before. My curiosity was piqued, but I decided I had had enough excitement for one day. This little mystery would have to wait for the next day.

All the tents were dark. All except one. A shadow moved about inside, highlighted by a torch. It was larger than the others, even though it held only one occupant. Tzar-Than.

Answers , I reminded myself. I need answers .

Nobody paid me any mind as I walked over to his tent. Still, I felt the sentries' eyes on me as I unceremoniously untied the flap of Tzar-Than's tent and stepped in.

"You shouldn't be here," he grumbled, watching me as I redid the tent flap.

"I can't sleep. I need to know what happened."

Anguish flooded his eyes before he closed them. He didn't want me to see his pain.

"Tzar-Than?" I crossed the distance between us and placed my hand on his chest. This morning, I wouldn't have dreamed of being this forward with him. Tonight, the gesture felt right.

He took a deep, steadying breath in. When his eyelids retracted, all anguish and vulnerability disappeared, replaced by detachment and coldness .

"Very well. I suppose you have a right to know." He sighed and stared somewhere above my head into the recess of the tent, distancing himself from the story and me, I supposed.

"We used to have a mating tradition. Every five years, our tribes would meet by caves in the Rodruk Mountains, a ritual during which young warriors and females found their partners."

I kept my palm pressed against his chest and listened with bated breath to his words, noticing how each one accelerated the beat of his heart. Having been forewarned that this wasn't going to be a happy story, I tried to mentally prepare myself.

"My mother was there with my sister, who was hoping to find a strong warrior for herself." The thumping of his heart increased underneath my palm.

"On the last day of the trials, the gallies readied themselves inside the main cave for a sacred ceremony meant only for gallies. Part of which included readying the young maidens for the warriors they had chosen."

His fingers clasped my wrist.

"Then Vandruk shook like it never had before. So much, I barely kept on my feet."

He pulled my palm off his chest and let it go. He was still staring at some point in the tent, which he probably didn't even see, haunted by his own tale.

"When we returned to the caves, they had collapsed. The gallies inside… trapped or crushed, we never knew. Too many rocks covered the entrance to get in. The sacred cave turned into their tomb. "

Pain spread through my chest at the terrible images his words ignited. Being buried alive or crushed to death by rocks sounded like a horrible way to die. I stared up at Tzar-Than's masklike features. He was so still he could have been carved from stone.

"I'm so sorry," I said, realizing how empty and hollow those words sounded in light of his tragedy. He had lost his mother and sister that day. Along with most women of his tribe… He must have been a young warrior then. Had he picked out a mate for himself? Had she perished in that cave as well? Coward that I was, I didn't ask. Not just because he was already hurting and I didn't want to cause him even more pain, but because I didn't want to know. I didn't want to see another woman's face in front of me when he kissed me— if he kissed me—again. Had he been thinking of her when he folded me into his arms last night?

Those were selfish thoughts and shouldn't have been on my mind at all. But they rushed through my head, just like the others had.

"That was ten years ago," he added hollowly.

Ten years?

My heart skipped a beat at the implications of what he had just said. "Do you mean…"

"On our way back, we discovered a red fog that had never been there before." He stared down at me, seeing me again, accusing me.

Oh nonono , my mind screamed in rhythm with my accelerating heartbeat as the pieces fell together. Ten years ago was when the scientists had activated the wormhole .

Cold dread turned my veins and skin icy. Had anybody ever considered the consequences of the physical power of the wormhole they had created? What it might do on the other end?

I had been barely a teenager then, but I did remember protests on Earth warning against testing the wormhole. Their concerns had been for Earth, though. I didn't think anybody had ever considered the other world. Or what would happen there.

When nothing changed on Earth, they must have assumed the same for Vandruk.

"Oh my God, Tzar-Than, I am…" What? S o sorry ? What would those words even do? Wouldn't they be more like a slap in the face?

"I had no idea," I finished lamely.

"Of course not," he allowed graciously. "None of you humans do."

More pieces fell into place. This was why they wanted human females. If all or most of theirs had perished ten years ago… years… I didn't know how old Tzar-Than was, but I would have guessed somewhere between twenty-six and thirty, so he must have been sixteen to twenty when it happened. I couldn't even begin to fathom what that must have felt like. I had been angry at cancer and God for taking my mother, and he had lost his mother and sister and so much more. Had I had a name for cancer, I would have hated that person or persons with an incredible intensity. This must have been why the Vandruks had killed anybody coming through the portal. Of course, they would have assumed the worst after what had happened .

Tzar-Than hadn't killed Matt, though. "What changed your mind?"

"What do you mean?" he retorted.

I realized that I had only thought about the first part of my question and elaborated. "Your people killed every single human, whoever set a foot outside the portal, except Matt. What changed your mind?"

He regarded me with unreadable eyes, and for a moment I thought he wouldn't answer, would instead kick me out of his tent. When his hand rose, I was sure he would open the flap to show me out. Instead, his palm moved to the back of his neck and massaged it.

"For the longest time, I was consumed with rage and wanted nothing but revenge for what your people did to mine." He brought his hand back and raised it warningly. "I still am, but I also wanted answers. I wanted to know why. The more I thought about it, the more I began to suspect that what happened had been more of an accident than anything else.

"We had only traveled the same route a few days prior with my mother and sister, and there had been no trace of red fog. I don't think there would have been any way for your people to have known our gallies would be in that cave. Vulnerable."

I nodded and didn't tell him that, even if the scientists had, I wouldn't put it past certain members of the human race to do something like this on purpose if it served their needs. But that wasn't what had happened, and I didn't want to interrupt him, so I let it go.

"Vorag spoke to me one night and compelled me to return to the red fog. When Matt stepped out a few days later, instead of killing him, I ordered him to be taken prisoner. He was my captive, but he was eager to teach me his language when he realized that was what I was asking for. It took months… years until I learned your language, and he and I built some kind of trust. At one point, an idea that human gallies might be the answer to our prayers occurred to me, and Matt supported it."

"But you don't know if we're genetically compatible," I mused.

He shook his head. Obviously, he and Matt had talked about that as well since he seemed to know what it meant.

"Nek, that's why I only asked for a few. An experiment, if you will."

"What if none of us becomes pregnant?" I asked while a strange sensation fluttered in my stomach. This was a new development, although, had I really thought about all the implications of becoming an alien's mate , I should have considered that possibility. Truth be told, I hadn't thought much about any of this, tried not to analyze what I was willing to do for a chance to go to Vandruk.

Well, here I was, talking about having a baby with an alien…

"If we are destined to become extinct," Tzar-Than responded to my question, "then we won't have to face that fate alone, without at least some gallies for companionship."

Something like outrage stirred inside me. "So you're willing to damn all these women to a childless life?"

He whirled on me. "The same fate we were damned to. The only difference is you gallies entered the deal willingly. "

I glared at him. "Not me. You ordered me here."

"You wanted to come," he retorted.

Incensed, we stared at each other.

I looked away first because he was right. The other women had come, for reasons I still didn't know, to score a hot barbarian. To leave their lives on Earth. Whatever it was, their reasons were as valid as mine, and I needed to stop looking down on them.

"So, if we are genetically compatible, you'll request more women?" I kept my tone even.

"That's the plan," he assented.

"The shareholders of Interplanetary Communications' demands will go up each time. They will force more concessions from you," I warned.

"I'm aware," he retorted, and for some reason I felt like he was holding back something. "Was that all you wanted?"

I nodded numbly, but I wasn't sure it was true.

"You should try to get some sleep," Tzar-Than advised. "We have a long day tomorrow."

He was so close I could have touched him if I wanted to. If he lowered his head, he could have kissed me again. Heat rushed through me at the thought, and an ache deep inside my core pulsed.

Before I could make a complete fool out of myself and throw myself at him, I said, "Good night, Tzar-Than," in a husky voice.

"Good night, Gwyn."