Twisted Chapter 13

The longer Zahirah was locked away in her bathroom, the more scared I became. What if she wasn't able to get past this? Why the hell didn't I just tell her about them right from the start and have her come around the compound more so she could see it wasn't as bad as she thought? Or why didn't I ask the other old ladies to talk to her so they could help with her fears and tell her how they coped?

I knew none of them were thrilled about seeing women their men had been with, but they knew none of their men would ever think of touching one of them, not in a million years. I might've been with several of the hang arounds and bunnies over the years, but they didn't hold a candle to Zahirah in any way. She was a goddess in comparison.

I knew I loved her. I just hadn't told her because I knew things were moving super-fast, and she might be overwhelmed by my declaration. Looking back, maybe if she knew I did, she wouldn't have taken this so hard. Goddamn it! How long was she gonna keep herself shut away from me? Enough is enough. I was going up there, and if she didn't unlock the door, I'd open it myself with my foot.

As I got up off the couch, my cell rang. Taking it out of my pocket, I saw it was Agony. What the hell was wrong now? I answered it quickly, although I wanted to ignore it. If he said he needed me, it would be tough to leave her alone in this condition.

"Yeah, Agony."

"You sound like shit. Dare, Knight, and I are on our way with the old ladies. We'll be there soon."

"What? Why? Did something happen?"

"You did. Your woman is fixing to say fuck it over the bunnies and hang arounds. We're gonna make sure it doesn't happen."

"How do you know that?"

"She called to talk to Eliana and then asked to speak to me. She wanted me to order you to go home. I told her I couldn't do it. She said good night and hung up. She's confused, scared, and hurt. You've got to fix it tonight, or you might end up losing her. Jesus Christ, those women coming to the compound are more of a pain than a pleasure these days," he muttered.

"I don't want to drag all of you out tonight. Stay home. I'll go up and get her to talk to me," I told him, although I had no idea how.

"Nope. The women are in the car, and we're already on the road. Tana and Atticus have the kids. This is our fight, not just yours. She's family like you are, and you're both fucking hurting. We're gonna fix it. See you in ten." He hung up before I was able to say more.

I sat there staring at my phone in astonishment for a good two or three minutes before I snapped out of it. I had another dilemma. Did I warn her they were coming or spring them on her? I was torn. As the few remaining minutes ticked down, I knew I had to tell her. With that many people in the house, the kids would wake up and want to know what was going on. What a clusterfuck. Hurrying upstairs, I went to the bathroom door and tapped on it lightly. There was no sound from inside.

"Zari, I need you to come down to the living room. We're about to have guests who want to talk to you, to both of us."

"Guests? Who would be stopping by this time of night?" came her muffled voice. I wasn't able to tell if she was crying or if it was just her upset voice.

"It's Agony, Eliana, Dare, Joli, Knight, and Natalya. They'll be here any minute. Agony called and told me they were coming."

"Why would they be coming to see us?" I heard the panic in her tone.

"He and Eliana are concerned for us. Your call made them worry, so they called the other couples. They want us to fix this, and they're coming to help us do it."

"There's no fixing it. I'm not living there with whores in my and the kids' faces every day. Never knowing when I walk outside or into the clubhouse if I'll see them. I sure wouldn't ever have kids with you and expose them to that. I'm sorry. I know you said being an old lady is forever, but I release you. There were extenuating circumstances. I'm sure if I tell Agony this, he'll let you claim another one."

"Like hell, I will! We made a commitment, and part of it was when things got rough, we'd work them out," I snarled.

A couple of moments later, the door was jerked open. She stood there glaring at me. Her eyes were red, and tears were still on her cheeks. My anger instantly evaporated, but she was pissed.

"Maybe you should've told me this before I made a commitment! If this hadn't come up tonight, when were you planning to tell me about them?" she fired back.

Shit, I didn't have an answer for her, and the way she was eyeing me told me she knew I didn't. Lucky for me, maybe, I was saved by the ringing of the doorbell. I gave her a pleading look. "That's the gang. Please, come downstairs. I've got to go let them in. I know Agony. He won't leave until we talk."

She waved her hand at me. I didn't know if I should take it as an agreement that she'd join us or if she was dismissing me so she could lock herself back in the bathroom. A knock sounded next. I rushed out of the room and down the stairs. They'd have the kids up soon. I unlocked the door and yanked it open. They were all standing there with concerned expressions. When they saw me, the guys pulled faces.

"He's in deep shit. She hasn't forgiven him," Dare said as I moved to let them inside.

"No, she hasn't. Try to keep it down. The kids are in bed."

"Sorry, got it. It's warm outside. What if we go in the back and sit? It'll be quieter for them," Knight suggested.

"We can, but we'll have to keep it down so the neighbors don't hear us. Why don't I show you back there? Then I'll see if she'll join us. She wasn't happy with me when I came down."

"You take the guys and the girls around back while I go get her. Where's she at?" Eliana asked.

It couldn't hurt, so I explained how to get to her bedroom. As she climbed the stairs, I locked the door and took the others through to the back door. Shoes be damned tonight. Outside, I realized there weren't enough chairs for everyone. It was solved when Natalya and Joli sat on their men's laps. I wasn't holding my breath that Zahirah would sit on mine. I'd be lucky if she came out to join us, period.

"I fucked up, guys. She's pissed, and she's been crying. She said she's not living where there are whores in her and the kids' faces every day. That she wouldn't be able to have kids with me if they were to be exposed to them. She said she released me from our commitment and that she thinks if she explains it to you, Agony, you'll let me have another old lady even though this is supposed to be for life. She said I should've told her about them before she agreed to be mine and asked when I planned to tell her about them."

"Fuck, she isn't holding back, is she? Well, what did you tell her about all that?" Agony asked.

"I didn't get a chance to tell her they're not in our faces all day, every day. She thinks she and the kids won't be able to walk into the clubhouse or on the grounds in case they run into them. I told her there was no release from this. We agreed when we had problems, we'd work them out."

"And when did you intend to tell her about them?" Joli asked quietly.

"Fuck, I don't know. I knew I'd have to, but it just never seemed like the time to do it."

"She told Eliana you said you'd be faithful, but how could you when they would be in your face offering themselves all the time," Natalya added.

"Jesus Christ, they were just for sex! I don't want anyone but her. I don't see anyone but her and I haven't since the moment I met her. Do you think from the time I met her until we got together, I wasn't horny as fuck? Hell yeah, I was, and I could've gone to the clubhouse and had any of them or all of them suck me off or let me fuck them however I wanted and as many times as I wanted! But I didn't because the thought of touching any of them made me sick. They aren't her! They aren't the woman I want to have a family with and grow old with. She is. I love Zari," I snarled.

There was a loud gasp from behind me. I swung around and saw her and Eliana standing to the left of the patio. They hadn't come out through the backdoor. They must've used the front one. I had no idea how much of what I said she'd heard, but I needed her to hear me. I went to her. I grabbed her hand and moved her closer to me. I let go so I could grip her face between my hands to make her see me.

"That wasn't how I wanted to tell you I love you, but it's true. Every word of it. How much did you hear?"

"From the part they're just for sex," she uttered hoarsely. There were tears in her eyes. I pressed my forehead to hers.

"Baby, my Storm, please don't cry. You're killing me. I can't stand it. I'm sorrier than you know that I didn't explain this. There has to be a way to make this work because I can't live without you."

"Zari, if you don't mind, we'd like to tell you a few things. It might help you," Joli told her kindly.

She sniffed and gave a tiny nod. I hated to let go, but I did. I led her to the empty chair. I moved it so she was able to sit in it while I remained standing. Eliana gave me an encouraging smile as she sat on Agony's lap. Seeing the three couples so close made my chest hurt. If I lost this with Zari, I'd never be able to stand to see them. Nausea crawled up the back of my throat. I swallowed hard.

"I understand where your fears come from. I had no experience with a club until I met Agony. Finding out about the bunnies and hang arounds was a shock to me. I hated the thought of him seeing women he had been with or that I'd have to see them," Eliana told her.

"I was the same too," Natalya added.

"I have a cousin who's in the Georgia chapter of the Pagans, so I knew about the women, but it still bothered me to know the ones Dare had been with were still around. It got really bad with Cara's egg donor. The way she used the guys and kept them giving her money and using Cara as an excuse infuriated me. She claimed Dare was Cara's daddy even though he knew there was no way he was," Joli explained.

"Twisted told me how Dare almost lost you and Bran because of her. You all say you understand and have issues with them, too. How can you stand it now? They're still there," she stated huskily.

"Yes, they are, and that's not likely to stop. As long as there are single guys in the club, there are gonna be women, whether they're hang arounds or bunnies. Correct me if I'm wrong, but do you have an equal problem with both or just the bunnies?" Joli asked kindly.

Zahirah didn't answer immediately. She sat there thinking. After a couple of tense minutes, she answered, "I'm not thrilled about either, to be honest, but the ones who they pay and who are there to service them at any time are the worst for me."

"Why?" Natalya asked. My brothers and I stayed quiet and let the women lead this.

"The other women, according to him, only come on certain nights, and I think their invitations can be denied or rescinded. The bunnies are on call and can be there every day and all day if needed. I could be outside taking a walk and have to see them. The kids would, too. I don't want Aliya to grow up thinking women are to be used as sex objects only. We get enough of that as women, period, and then add it to what we have to put up with as Arabic women and foreigners. It's horrible. And Arif is a young boy about to hit puberty. What is this teaching him about how to treat women?" she asked. I went to speak, but Dare shook his head, so I waited.

"You're right. Those are all things you have to consider. You told us your worries for the kids. What about yourself? Take the kids out of it. What will you worry about with the bunnies there all the time?" Eliana asked.

She hesitated, glanced at me, then away before she answered. "He can do better than me. He told me they're like Willa. I've met her. She dresses sexy and has no inhibitions. She's more than pretty. Knowing he works with her is bad enough, but knowing there are multiple ones like her and he has not only his pick but they're in what is essentially an extension of our home, there's no way I can compete. He said he loves me and could've had sex with them when we were first getting to know each other. Well, what happens if he gets to know me more and finds me boring? Or what happens after a couple of kids and I gain weight and get wrinkles as I age? I doubt the women who come there are ever even thirty, no matter the age of the men. New, younger ones come all the time, don't they? How old is the oldest bunny?" she challenged all of us.

I'd stayed quiet long enough. "That last shit you just said is fucking ridiculous." I heard the guys groan. I tried to tamp down my anger. "What I mean is you're way off base. First, let's talk about Willa. Is she attractive? Yeah, she isn't ugly, but she doesn't come close to you. She's pretty. You're gorgeous. The way she dresses isn't how I want my woman to dress unless you want to do it in private. As for her having no inhibitions, maybe she doesn't, but that's the last thing I think about. I could live to be two hundred, and I have no doubt I'd ever find you boring. As for you gaining weight or wrinkles, it won't change how I feel. It's just more of you for me to love and worship, and we all age. Hell, look at me. I'll turn gray and wrinkled long before you. I just turned forty. Will you stop wanting me when it happens to me? If I gain weight and lose my muscles? Yes, women tend to stay within a certain age range, but they decide when to stop coming. It's not us telling them they're too old."

"How did you get to the point where you don't seem to care if those women are around? Do your men not go to the clubhouse? Do you go with them?" she asked the women.

"Hell no, we don't keep them on a leash. We trust them. I won't lie and say those women don't ever bother me or get on my nerves. They do. When I was pregnant, I felt so fat and unattractive I cried," Eliana confessed.

Agony growled and hugged her closer. "I told her she was even sexier while pregnant. I couldn't keep my hands off her just like I can't when she's not pregnant," he confessed before he turned her head so he was able to claim her mouth.

"Damn straight. Joli was more beautiful then, too," Dare added.

"You just need more time to know he's got eyes for no one but you. Our women own our hearts, minds, and souls. Twisted feels that way about you already. He's not gonna give them a second look," Knight assured her.

"And the bunnies aren't running around there all the time. We work during the day, and if they are there, they stay in the clubhouse. No one even has them in their houses. Yes, during party time, they're in the common room and other parts of the clubhouse late at night. When they are, you can stay or go home. It's up to you. You do have to accept he'll be there sometimes without you, but it doesn't mean he's fucking around behind your back. Any claimed brother who cheats on his old lady will get a beatdown," Agony informed her.

She chewed on her bottom lip and looked at me in a way I couldn't decipher. I had no idea if what they were saying and what I told her were making it better or putting more nails in my coffin.

"It comes down to you trusting him just as he has to trust you. Think about what we said. If you have more questions, ask us or him. Now, I think we've taken up enough of your night. We're gonna leave you two to talk. Don't throw away what is the best thing to happen in your life over this. I've seen enough men fall in love. We have dozens of friends who have, and he's got the same look as they did, as I did," Agony told her. He gave her a smile.

The next few minutes were spent saying goodnight. She hugged the ladies. I hugged my brothers, and then they gave her cheek kisses. Once those were out of the way, we walked them around to the front. We watched as they got in their vehicle and left. We stayed there until they were out of sight. Her tension increased. I felt it. I wasn't going to bed until we had some kind of resolution.

"Do you want to continue talking about this on the patio or go inside?"

"I think we should go inside. It's cooling off. We'll just have to keep our voices down."

She went ahead of me and to the back again so we could enter through the back door. Closing and locking it, I followed her through the downstairs. As we passed the front door, I made sure it was locked and the alarm was on before going up to her room. She was already seated on the edge of the bed. Her hands were clasped together in her lap. She looked apprehensive, which made me feel that way even more. I sat beside her, but not as close as I wanted.

"What else can I answer for you?" I asked.

"I don't know. My head is buzzing. I don't mean to be awful or to sound like a demanding bitch. I know you had a life before me. I just never expected I'd have to be confronted with it like this or so often."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Yes," she said.

"You said stuff about getting older and gaining weight, and you mentioned not wanting Aliya to think women should be treated like sexual objects because it's bad enough as women in general but more so for you as Middle Eastern women. Explain to me what it's like for you."

"For women as a whole, you have to know we get treated by some men, sometimes most men, as if we're not intelligent or worth much other than to give them sex and to keep their homes. If we're not considered pretty or young enough, we are paid less money than a woman who is. We may have all the qualifications of a man, but in pay, we'll more often than not get paid less for the same work. We suffer having men call out disgusting things to us for no reason other than they like what they see or they're just trying to get a woman to have sex with them. For Aliya, she'll have all that, and then either hate on top of it because she's seen as a terrorist, or because she comes from another country, she's seen as even more sexually exploitable."

"Tell me about when this has happened to you." I had to ask, but I was afraid of her answers. I'd never thought about it from a woman's viewpoint, which shamed me.

She thought for a few moments, then nodded. "Okay, here's one. After my brother and Nova died, I went to get a loan. We had money in the bank, but it was tied up in investments and CDs, so it wasn't readily accessible. I needed it to get their bodies brought back here and to pay for their funerals. I went to the bank to ask for a loan, but it wasn't the bank where we had our investments. That one was still back where we used to live. The man I talked to started out by looking me over as if he was undressing me. I ignored it and his suggestive attitude and informed him what I needed.

"Before I could explain I had collateral, he jumped into this big spiel about how the bank couldn't risk giving out money without a guarantee it would be repaid. I tried to explain how it would be repaid, but he talked over me and went on to suggest he could ensure I got the money if I gave him something in return. I played dumb to see if he'd say it. He was smart enough not to, but in the end, he wouldn't talk about the loan and pushed his business card with his personal number written on the back into my hand. He told me if I changed my mind about wanting to apply, to call him, and we'd get together to work things out together."

A deep growl came tumbling out of me. She kept going. "Or how about every time I have an interaction with Principal Pecardi? The first time I met him, he made me feel dirty from the way he checked me out, and he still does it even though he considers me beneath him. I've seen how he treats other women, and he's as bad with them, too. He thinks his looks should get him women."

"Which bank was it, and Pecardi is already on my shit list," I snarled.

"That's not important. What is, is I have to teach Aliya how to deal with being seen as a sex object on top of being from our part of the world and make sure Arif grows up to respect women and not become like Pecardi or the banker. If I have to see those women all the time and constantly guard against them, even without adding my own insecurities to it, it'll be exhausting. And I really don't want to see them and wonder if you've slept with them. Or to know you have because they're all over you. It angered me to see Willa. What do you think seeing these women will do to me? I bet you wouldn't like the man I had a relationship with to be around all the time, would you?"

"No, I don't want him around. Do you think less of me because I've been with a lot of women? Am I in your books just like those men you obviously are disgusted by?" The idea she might think of me that way upset me. Had I ever said suggestive things to women? Yes. Had I ever used my charm or looks to my advantage? Yes. Jesus, maybe I was exactly the same.

"Brody, I'm not saying you're like those men! I can see your brain thinking about it. I honestly don't see you having to be sleazy or underhanded to get a woman to sleep with you. You didn't act that way when you met me. You've been respectful. God, I don't know what I'm saying. Maybe I don't make sense."

She went to get up, but I took her hand and held her in place. "You are making sense. And if I was in your shoes, I'd feel the same. I don't know how to get you to trust me other than to let time prove that you can. I won't look at, touch, or desire anyone but you, no matter what they might say, do, or offer. As for the kids and exposing them and you to seeing those women, there's no guarantee they might not see one coming or going, but it won't be constantly or even weekly. Nor will they be in a position to see anything sexual. They're old enough to be told the situation, so if they see one, they'll know the basics of who they are. As for us having kids, again, they'd be kept protected and would be taught about the women when they're old enough to understand. What do you do now when they see someone like Willa on the street or in a store or observe them acting inappropriately?"

"I explain that they make their choices, and those don't need to be ours. That they might have histories we have no idea about which makes them behave the way they do."

"This is the case with the bunnies and hang arounds too. They say they love sex. I believe some do, but others do it for other reasons, and those are on them."

"Would you want your daughter to grow up to be one?"

"Hell no! But I would hope to teach and show her she has no reason to be. And if she did it anyway, I'd still love her."

She stayed quiet and appeared deep in thought. I wanted her to reason it out, but there was something I had to ask, and I needed to know it now: "Did you believe it when you heard me say I love you? How did it make you feel? Did I scare you?"

She gave me a sweet smile. "I did believe you, although I was stunned. It didn't scare me. It was good in a way."

The knot in my chest eased a bit when I heard she believed me and wasn't scared, but she had me curious. "In what way was it good?"

She took a deep breath and then answered. "Because it meant I wasn't crazy and going too fast by already being in love with you."

I thought for a moment I misheard her, but she was smiling at me. "Jesus, please say I can kiss you right now because if I can't, I don't know what I'll do."

She nodded her head. I didn't wait for her to even finish nodding before I had my arms around her, and I was kissing the hell out of her. Somehow we had to find a way to get through this whole other women's shitshow. We had to. With both of us loving the other, it would be a travesty if we didn't.