Zahirah

The kids were in bed at my place after church, and Twisted and I were discussing what to take to his house. It wasn't as if I was planning on moving everything. He had furniture in the dining room, living room, and master bedroom. We would need the kids' bedroom sets and a lot of the kitchen stuff since he confessed he had nothing close to what I had. Our clothing and memorabilia were a yes. He insisted I bring the artwork and other decor I had and loved.

I argued that I wasn't taking over his house with my taste. He argued right back that he loved my taste and that his house needed color and character, as he called it. He even insisted on me checking out paint samples to paint various rooms. Before they went to bed, he'd informed the kids that they were free to decide what colors they wanted for their rooms.

I was going to bring the small desk I had in my bedroom to use, but he told me not to because his office was mine. Taking him at his word, I decided it could stay behind with my living room furniture and small dining table. My bedroom suite would be left too. It was an old one. Other than putting it in one of the extra bedrooms, it was unnecessary. Speaking of bedrooms, I finally asked him a question that had been burning in me since he gave us a tour of the house earlier after church was over.

"Why did you build such a big house for just you? You have five bedrooms and three-and-a-half bathrooms! You don't use even half of it."

"Zari, I might not have thought I'd be blessed to have a family, but I sure wanted one. I made sure the house was big enough just in case I eked out a family."

"Brody, why in the world would you believe you wouldn't? I know there hasn't been a shortage of women. I know you told me you had no connection or deeper feelings for them, but surely some of them had the potential to be old ladies."

"Maybe they did, but never mine. It was all about sex. When I was younger, the thrill for me was seeing how women reacted to me being a biker. They came to sleep with what they saw as dangerous men."

"And obviously, you did. I assume the guys still have women wanting to sleep with them."

He grimaced and glanced away. I went on high alert when he did. "What is it you're not telling me?"

"I do need to tell you something, and I don't want you to get upset because they don't matter to me. Only you do. I would never look at one of them twice, let alone do anything with them, even if I have in the past."

"Just tell me." I was getting nervous. What was so bad that he was reluctant to tell me? God, please tell me he didn't have a baby mama, as they called it out there in the world. If he did and hadn't told me, I might kill him. I'd never resent a child. That wasn't the issue. What was, was the idea of having to share the child with a former lover and, if she was the interfering kind, having to put up with her? He'd told me Cara's mom hadn't been a nice woman. I heard horror stories all the time about women who wouldn't let go of the men who fathered their kids.

"Okay, but sit here with me." He took my hand and walked us over to my bed. I slowly sank with him sitting right next to me. He was staring intently at me. I felt nauseous.

"Women do come and go at the clubhouse. Most of the guys are still single, and it's their home. They primarily come on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday nights, though a few are there during the week. Those are mainly the bunnies. The others who only come to party are what we call hang arounds. They are the ones who mainly come over the weekend."

"Stop right there. Will these women be coming and going when Arif and Aliya are at the clubhouse!? If so, I don't want them going there. I'm sorry, but I won't have them seeing God knows what. I can't believe the other ladies stand for it," I informed him in alarm. Had they been made to stay away the two times we'd been there?

"Hang on, let me finish. No, they aren't just walking around all the time. If one of the guys asks a woman to drop in outside of those party nights, they arrange to go through the back door if it's early and stay only in their rooms. On the weekends, the bigger crowd doesn't show up until after the old ladies and kids go home."

I interrupted him despite him asking me to let him finish. "Are you saying I'll go home with the kids, and you'll stay there and see whatever goes on? That I'm not allowed to be around when they are? Do they have sex right in the common room? What's to stop the ones you've been with from offering themselves to you? God, do you have kids with any of them?"

I came up off the bed. I was becoming angry on top of being scared. What had I agreed to? I was so excited earlier when the club voted me in, and now this. He jumped to his feet and came toward me. I held up my hands to ward him off.

"Don't. I need you to answer me without touching me. And I want the whole truth," I demanded.

"Please, don't push me away. I'll tell you everything. First, no I don't have any kids that I know of. I've always been super careful. I never had a condom break until you, and I've never gone without one. As for you having to leave, you don't have to if you want to stay, but if you do, you will see things. It'll very likely include sexual acts. There'll definitely be skimpy clothing and nudity." He paused to let it sink in.

"You said there are bunnies and hang arounds. What's the difference?"

Again, he grimaced, but he answered me. "The hang arounds live in Cherokee and other nearby towns. They come to the clubhouse to have fun and hook up with a biker. For the majority, it's just for a good time. A few hope to catch one of us and become his old lady. They're a lot like Willa in terms of dress and attitude. The bunnies are different. They're more connected to the club. They're women who are available at any time to the members for sex. In return, we give them protection and support."

"What kind of support?"

"Well, since they have to be available anytime, they get money to cover their expenses. They can have a job if they want, but most don't."

Horror filled me. I backed up further. He flinched.

"You have whores, prostitutes living on the compound with your families! No, no way will I subject myself or the kids to that. I'm not moving anywhere. I'm sorry. This is something you should've explained to me before now. I can't do this."

I needed to get away from him before I lost it and began to scream at him.

"Babe, please, no, they don't live there."

Darting to the side, I made it to my bathroom. I slammed the door and locked it. He knocked on it.

"Zari, open up. We can talk this out!" he pleaded.

"Go away. I need to think. You need to go. We'll be safe with the alarm on. Go back to your house for the night."

"I'm not leaving with this unresolved between us. Hiding isn't going to make it go away."

"And pushing me to talk about it at this moment won't either! You just dropped a bomb on me, and I'm expected to just accept it and go on? No, I can't. I want you to let me think."

There was a long silence, and then he answered. "I'll go downstairs, but I'm not leaving. When you're ready to talk, let me know. This isn't something we're letting ruin what we're building."

I remained quiet. His heavy tread told me he'd left. Once I was sure, I let the tears out. I wasn't sure how long I cried before I got them back under control. Once I did, I knew I had to talk to someone who would understand, which wasn't him. Luckily, my cell was in my pants. I took it out and found the contact I wanted. All the old ladies and Tana had given me their numbers. I chose to call Eliana. As Agony's old lady, she had been here the longest, and maybe she could explain how she and the other old ladies stood to have those other women around. I wasn't saying I'd consider still moving to the compound, but I needed to understand. The phone rang four times before it was answered.

"Hi, Zari. Is everything alright?" she asked.

"Hi, Eliana, do you have time to talk? I need a woman who is in the same shoes as me. I hate to call so late. I hope I didn't wake up the twins."

"You didn't, and yes, I can talk. What shoes are we in?"

I quickly explained what Twisted had told me about the two kinds of women they had at the compound. When I was done, she was swearing.

"Why do these idiots keep this from us instead of getting it out in the open right away? They're so damn scared it'll scare us off or just stupidly think it's no big deal because they're not screwing the women anymore. I swear. This shit almost cost Dare Joli and Bran."

"It did? How?"

When she told me what happened with Ciandra, I was appalled, and for more than one reason. Twisted had told me Cara's birth mom wasn't a nice woman. He never said she was a club bunny. When she was done, I was speechless.

"Talk to me. Where's your head at?"

"My head is telling me to run. There's no way I can live and have those kinds of women constantly popping up. I don't want the kids to see them and ask who they are. I don't want to see the women Twisted has had sex with, and I sure don't want him seeing them constantly. He said he would be faithful, but how can he when sex is being offered to him on a platter? I can't uproot my family for this. I don't know how you and the others stand it, but you're obviously better women than me. Thank you for explaining. I've got to go. Sorry for disturbing you."

"Zari, honey, don't hang up. Let's talk more. I can see if Joli and Natalya can do a conference call with us. They can tell you how they handle it. I'm not saying it's always easy, but it's not as bad as you think," she said quickly.

"I appreciate the offer, but I'm talked out tonight. Is Agony there?"

"Yesss, why?"

"I need to ask him to do something for me."

"Okay, hang on, and I'll get him."

It was a couple of minutes before he was on the phone. "Zari, Eliana says you're upset and need me to do something. What can I do for you?"

"I need you to call Twisted and tell him he has to leave and go home to his house. I have no doubt Eliana told you exactly what's wrong. I can't have him here. I need space, and he's refusing to leave."

He sighed. "Honey, I hate that you're hurting, but you need to let your man work this through with you. He's not gonna listen to me about this, and I refuse to make it an order. Not when it comes to couples. I'm sorry. You have to work it out with him."

"Fine. Please tell Eliana I said thank you. Have a good night," I said stonily.

"Wait, I—." I knew it was rude, but I disconnected. I didn't want to hear any more about how I should let Twisted change my mind. It was stupid of me to think Agony would help me. I wasn't anyone to him. Twisted was his club brother. Hanging up the phone, I sat on the floor by the tub with my head in my hands. I needed to think about what to do. No way would he leave if I asked. I could call the cops but figure the odds they'd even come. I was trapped, and I hated it.