27. Chapter 27

CHAPTER 27

S he woke to hands around her neck.

A beautiful dream, with Thomas’s fingers curving downward over her backside, his mouth on her breast, guttural moans rumbling from deep in his chest.

But then pressure. Pressure along the outside of her neck—tightening, tightening, tightening. Her breath cut off.

Hands choking her.

Her mouth gasping for air it couldn’t consume.

Her eyes flew open. Not a dream.

Thomas naked above, straddling her, his hands around her neck, squeezing. Squeezing so hard.

Panic struck deep and she started thrashing, hitting his arms for she couldn’t get any sound past her throat.

No success, his fingers only digging in with more intent.

Then she saw it—the glazed, dead look in his eyes. Like he was asleep with his eyes open. Not truly in his mind.

Which only meant there was no way to stop him, no way to scream no matter how she fought back.

And her breath was going, going. Black spots flashing in her vision.

Last chance.

In desperation, she reached down, stretching as far as she could, and grabbed his cock.

His grip lessened a miniscule amount.

She squeezed the length of his shaft, sparking it alive. Harder and harder with each stroke she set along it.

The black spots in her eyes widened, close to blurring out all of her vision. Her head getting light, her lungs burning from lack of air.

She stroked faster, harder.

A gasp above her, and Thomas blinked. Blinked again, his eyes coming into focus.

The instant he saw her, saw his hands around her neck, he snapped backward. So fast and viciously he flipped over onto the bare floorboards.

Or she thought he flipped over from the thunk she heard. She was too busy curling over on her side, gasping for air, to see what actually happened to him.

In an instant, he scrambled back onto the coverlet splayed on the floor, his hands running all over her body, his voice frantic. “Bloody fucking hell, Izzie, tell me you’re all right, tell me you can breathe. I’m so sorry. I’m so fucking sorry. So fucking sorry.”

Her body convulsing with every gasp of air, it took three more breaths before she could nod. “I’m—” The word scratched out and turned into a cough as she tried to right her throat.

His hand stayed on her bare back, rubbing.

When she finally managed to gain control of her lungs, she nodded again, flipping onto her back to look at him.

Mortification burned in his hazel eyes, his halting words tortured. “How could I…how could I do this…I…how…”

He gave a violent shake of his head and launched himself away from her.

Straight to his clothes piled on a chest in the corner of his room at the inn and he started jabbing his limbs into his trousers and lawn shirt.

He was leaving?

Leaving her after that?

She knew it wasn’t him—knew he wasn’t in his right mind.

The dizziness still having a hold of her head, she wasn’t positive she wouldn’t fall flat on her face if she stood, so she crawled over to him, grabbing the edge of a chair as she pulled herself upright.

He wouldn’t look at her, turning himself away as she neared him, righting his clothes.

She set her hand on his back and he jerked away at her touch, growling.

“Thomas.” Barely a whisper, she was just happy she got the whole of it out through the pain in her throat.

He charged over to the foot of the bed where he’d left his boots.

He meant to leave.

She had been ready to leave herself a half-day ago, but now…now the possibility of him leaving her in this moment, it terrified her. Not just for her, for him.

She stayed on his heels, grabbing his shoulder this time, her fingers digging into the muscle and not letting him jerk away from her. “Stay.”

His jaw twitched, the anguish clear on the profile of his face. “I can’t do it.”

She rounded him, planting herself in front of him, forcing out hoarse words. “Can’t what? Stay? Look at me? Touch me?”

He shook his head, refusing to look at her.

“You can.” She picked up his left hand, pulling it toward her chest, pressing his palm into the center slope of her breasts. “You can. I am fine. Heart beating.”

He winced, his head dropping back, his stare on the ceiling. A shake rolled through the length of his body. “I almost just killed you, Izzie. Killed you.”

He started to back away from her and she dropped his hand, both of her palms lifting to capture his face and she dragged his stare down to her. The second he met her gaze, his eyes closed, the hard lines of his face anguished.

“That wasn’t you, that was a demon in your sleep, and what you need is to forget.” The words ripped up her raw throat, but they needed to be said.

His eyes flew open with a rage-filled flurry of words aimed solely at himself. “Forget? I will never forget your eyes slipping in death just now, Izzie. Slipping away from me by my own damn hands. The panic in your eyes when you trusted me— trusted me. I cannot live with that. Live with what I could do to you. Don’t ask me to. Don’t you dare put yourself in danger like that. I’m not going to forget any of this.” He jerked away from her.

Shit. She had to get him to stay. Had to.

If there was one thing she’d learned in the last twenty-four hours, it was that she had power—at least over him—that she’d never imagined.

She stepped closer, pressing her body into his, her nipples grazing against his half-askew lawn shirt. “I can help you forget.”

“How can you do that?” He met her look, his defeated eyes bleary.

“The only way I know how.” She lifted herself onto her toes, pulling his face down to her and she kissed him. Full with intention and forgiveness and pleading. Dragging him into the kiss whether he liked it or not.

She pulled slightly away, her lips still brushing his, her voice a hoarse whisper. “There are moments when we’re together like this, that something lifts from your eyes, from your face. It’s a strange sort of peace. Peace entwined with a guttural madness that needs to devour me. Like this is where you are meant to be in order to forget everything you need to. Our bodies connected. And you can finally breathe.”

He exhaled, and it held the weight of the world.

Her lips feathered gently against his. “Tell me I’m wrong.”

His head shook, his eyes closed to her, fighting it even as he knew it was true. His voice dipped raw. “You’re not wrong. I don’t want to need it. I can’t need it. But when you come all over my cock, your body has a cadence all its own that is the perfect match to mine.”

Her hands dipped down, ripping open the fall front of his trousers. “Then make me come.”

A growl ripped from him and he grabbed her around the waist, yanking her into him, his mouth on hers primal, furious in consuming her.

His movements jerking, he lifted her up from the floor, backing her into the wall. Her shoulder blades hit hard and she grunted as she wrapped her legs around him. He wasn’t escaping her.

A carnal roar into her mouth and he drove up into her, every movement he made raw and fighting his own demons.

Her heels dug into his backside, her teeth going to his collarbone as he slammed into her again and again, his raging cock filling her deep, straight to spot deep within that sent shocks into her core every time he hit it.

Fast and feral, he didn’t stop, every muscle on him straining as his carnal need for her overtook both of them. Her body bucking against his until she was writhing. So damn close.

One long drive, his deep voice a guttural scream in her ear, and his cock swelled deep inside her. Expanding so viciously, it stretched her far beyond her capacity, the engorgement sending all her nerves to fire and catapulting her over the edge. Thrust into a madcap existence of darkness and bright spots in her eyes, her own muscles terrorized by the furious demands on them.

Weak. So damn weak as her body contracted violently over and over, his cock still heavy and pulsating deep within her.

She collapsed against him, her head curling into the nook of his left shoulder, her body limp as he held her up.

Tilting her head slightly, a whisper escaped her, directly into his bad ear. “Make no mistake, I need you just as much as you need me.”

She wasn’t sure if he heard.

She wasn’t sure she wanted him to hear.

She just knew she needed to say the words out loud to make them real.