Chapter 19

CIARA

Sometimes Red gets wildly shy. It's adorable, really, how a flush slowly paints her cheeks, until she is all pink and embarrassed.

Embarrassing her is fun.

She shoots me what Red clearly thinks is a subtle look, but it's far less subtle than she realizes.

"Magic high," she mutters, but I can tell she doesn't really want to.

"I know," I say, but it doesn't feel like a magic high. I liked the magic high; it made me feel heady, and desirable, and made me forget Robert altogether.

This is not the same.

I'm acutely aware of the fact that we killed my ex today—we, because I didn't help, and in my mind that makes me just as culpable—and I don't feel heady at all. My mind feels clear, like I've been submerged in water and have only just come up for air.

It's sparkling, this feeling, but rooted. As Red leads me outside, she does something with her hand and the grass that we walk on feels that much softer.

There's a yip by my calf and I see the sentry wolf from earlier, the one who offered me his throat. "Hey," I say quietly. "Are we coming with you?"

Red nods. "They'll know where the safest place to sleep will be."

It's a bit of a scramble through the woods, across roots and pushing through branches until we come across a small clearing that's filled with wolves.

I'm filled instantly with a deep-seated knowledge that this. This is home. Pack is home.

Wolf cubs come bounding over, squeaking and barking welcomes, followed by mothers and fathers both. The alpha doesn't approach us, but his ears flatten back as he acknowledges Red, and there's a hint of indulgent amusement in the way he looks over me.

I nod in his direction, and then turn to the wolf cubs. They tug at my pajama pants, and I follow them to where they've clearly been collecting all of the best sticks. I look around, and find one of my own to offer to their pile. They inspect it carefully, and then accept it with more delighted yips.

Red squeezes my hand, and I look up at her. She's tall, taller than any woman I've ever seen, and I'm not sure whether that's because of the magic, or just her. But it means that she has a presence in any room or any spaces that she occupies. The wolf cubs sense it too, because their ears flatten and their barks decrease in volume.

"Come," she says, and I don't hesitate for a second. I just follow.

As we round a corner, I see a pile of wolves, all flopped on top of each other.

"We're sleeping with the wolves?" I ask, and Red nods.

"You need to feel safe, and this is the safest place I know." She pauses, and then looks at me. "Would you rather I shed my humanshape and shift into my wolfshape for you?"

I consider her question. "You're tired, and shifting must take energy?" She nods. "So no, you should stay as you are."

She looks so relieved. "I'm still happy to keep my distance in the wolfpile, though."

"No," I've never been more certain of anything in my life. "You are just as much Pack as anyone else. I want to sleep, and if you're going to keep me safe, then you should sleep next to me."

"I can do that," she says, and her slow, cautious smile makes my toes curl in delight.

How to approach a wolfpile, though, I do not know.

Red throws herself onto the pile and I watch as the wolves grumble and shift and make room for her. She holds out her arms to me and I try to tiptoe over.

"That won't work," she says, barely able to keep her amusement from her voice. "There's nothing delicate here about a wolfpile whatsoever."

"What should I…?"

"Just throw yourself," she says. "I'll catch you."

It's not exactly a massive leap of faith, but to me it feels huge. I don't take risks. Everything about my carefully curated existence has been managed to minimize risk, and here I am, throwing myself onto a pile of wolves.

She catches me, just as she said she would.

Her arms anchor me in place, and the wolves all move until they're comfortable again. A nose presses up against my hand, and another against my leg, and I can feel heat coming off them—and off Red— and it is comforting.

So comforting, that I fall asleep quicker than I've done in a decade.