39. Mira

thirty-nine

Mira

I cross my arms, trying to keep the chill in my heart as I glance at Tairyn, nursing what is surely a broken jaw on my blue chaise lounge. I knew someone would hit him. Considered doing it myself. The room turned feral when he told us I'm probably getting sacrificed, but I just didn't expect it to be Bobble.

Then he dragged him to my suite of rooms, away from the Malicryn fireplace, just in case she pops in again. The air around us is like a thick fog that refuses to dissipate. I glance around at Sunder, Bobble, and Callum, each of them eying Tairyn with barely concealed skepticism as we huddle on the other side of the room to discuss our next move.

No wonder he was always in the study. He was waiting for his ex to call, to see how the plan to kill me was going.

The strong, unrelenting breeze whips in through the always-open balcony, carrying with it the sharp chill of the high mountains. They call this place the Western Slopes, where the wind never seems to rest. As I step out onto the balcony and feel the cool air wrap around me, a shiver runs down my spine. But it's not just from the cold.

Tairyn was going to sell me off to Yurghen the whole time. My stomach churns with disgust.

"So, what should we do with him?" Callum asks no one in particular, pulling my attention back to the men following behind me. Brows furrowed, arms crossed. They look like a group of concerned fathers trying to decide what to do about an unnamed threat at a neighborhood watch meeting.

"Shield him, beat him, leave him for dead."

I'd think it was a joke if Sunder wasn't so deadpan. Callum cocks his head to the side, as if considering.

"Not happening." I interject. "He's an asshole, but he doesn't deserve death, you psychopath."

Sunder's brown eyes glint with contradiction, but wisely, he keeps his mouth shut for once.

"Besides, we'll need him eventually to reform Dan'thiel and merge with us," Bobble says, Sunder nodding in resignation. Callum meets my eye, the conversation between us about refusing to merge replaying in an instant between us. "But that doesn't mean we can't make him suffer."

"Bobble!" I chide. At least he has the decency to look sheepish at my admonishment.

"He was going to give you to our enemies, Mira."

"I know."

"We can't let that go unpunished."

All three of them start talking at once now, no longer keeping their voices low.

"… leave him here to rot…"

"…more than he deserves."

"…in that cell where he kept you."

"I get it!" I shout. "You all want him to suffer terribly, but we're not doing that. He told us the truth and—" I hesitate . "He's part of you."

I turn my back on them, marching up to Tairyn. His posture is slumped, lip bleeding profusely. But his eyes tell me the most about the storm inside him. His eyes, normally glowing with amusement, are dull and lifeless.

"You said Yurghen's on the move with a force. Where are they going?"

His words are muffled by the jaw, and I motion for Bobble to heal him. A slow trickle of yellow Chroma flows from one of my mate's to the other. Tairyn takes a deep breath as the healing magic takes hold, knitting the bone back together. He spits out the last of the blood onto the gleaming white marble floor.

"If I knew, I'd tell you. I swear it. They don't tell me everything."

Callum throws his hands up in the air with a gesture that says, Can you believe this guy? I guess that's a universal symbol.

Tairyn's eyes narrow, and I can practically see the gears turning in his mind.

"Even if that is not true," Sunder says reluctantly. "Could we really trust any information he gives us?"

"I don't want to see the Great River destroyed any more than you do. Do you think I'm stupid enough to believe that benefits me in any way?" Tairyn insists, his voice firm, before turning to me with quiet intensity. "Do you truly believe I don't care for you?"

His words send a jolt through me, stirring the embers of the feelings I've tried so hard to snuff out. But is that enough to trust him? Once again, I'm stuck in this position, unsure where to place my trust. I ignored so many red flags with my ex-husband, and look where that got me. And yet, even with Sunder, there were omissions and betrayals before something more blossomed between us. Could Tairyn…

I stop that thought before it begins. I'm so pitiful. So desperate for his attention. All of them. I put myself in these situations over and over again to be hurt.

"Feelings can change," I retort, my voice shaking with a mix of anger and vulnerability. "What's to stop you from deciding we're expendable again?"

"Nothing," Tairyn admits. His eyes are like twin verdant flames, burning with a raw and powerful intensity that reaches into the depths of my soul and stirs up a storm of emotions. My heart can't help but flutter in response, aching for the connection and trust that seemed to be within reach only an hour ago. "But if I wanted to sabotage you, I wouldn't be offering my help."

His words are like a balm on my frayed nerves, but I can't bring myself to fully embrace them. The wounds he left are still too raw, the memories of his betrayal too fresh. I tear my eyes away from him, barely able to stomach his gaze.

"Let's say we believe you for now," Callum says cautiously. "What do you propose we do next?"

"Malicryn will come looking for Mira in the next few days. When they don't find her, they might hunt her down. If I knew more about the ritual, I'd be able to tell you how important she is. Maybe they'd find a replacement and do the ritual without her. They could have someone else lined up for all I know. But they won't wait any longer to make their moves. Whatever they do, it will be immediate."

Sunder folds his massive arms across his chest, a deep frown etching its way into his features. "We can't just sit around and wait for them to make the first move," he says, his reluctant tone a growl. "We leave for Valenfall today. If we get some horses and ride hard, it will still take us a couple of weeks to get there. I just hope Cor'than doesn't execute us on the spot."

"There's a faster way."

We all turn to Tairyn, waiting for him to continue. "The portals. They weave in and out of the realm, constantly moving. Hard to predict. Impossible to find. Unless you know the right people."

"No, no, no. The last time we went into those things, we had centaurs trying to kill us," I object. Until Sunder killed them. I shudder at the memory of the sounds they made.

"This is different. It won't be inter-realm travel. It's domestic, if you will."

I take a breath, trying to calm to gnawing feeling in my gut. But it's Callum who speaks first. "We need the extra time. If we're going to stop him, we need Cor'than on our side yesterday."

It doesn't take long to ready ourselves for the next leg of our journey. Sunder keeps the shield around Tairyn, never taking his eyes off his back as we descend the steps of his dreary palace.

The midday sun is already high overhead as we exit into what looks like a ghost town straight out of the old west. Callum lets out a long sigh as he exits the doorway from Tairyn's villainous lair and into the abandoned city.

As I cross the threshold to the outside, Tairyn makes a loud hissing sound behind me like the sunlight is burning him alive. I roll my eyes at his dramatics and fall in step beside Callum. "I wasn't sure I'd ever make it out," he whispers.

I rub my hand over his back and press my forehead into his chest. "We're going to make it through this. Together."

"Let's go," Tairyn calls behind us, already stepping onto a small dirt path of switchbacks. "And you can drop the shield, Sunder. Save your energy. You're going to need it." There's a sadness to his tone, a hint of resignation.

Sunder scoffs at his back. "Unlikely."

Tairyn shrugs but doesn't argue further. Within an hour of following him down the twisted back path through the mountains, a common fae with a gray beard crosses our path. With a silent nod to Tairyn, he leads us the rest of the way to a small clearing of boulders.

The man holds up three fingers and points to a spot nearby before making another silent nod to Tairyn and meandering on his way.

"Interesting company you keep," Bobble observes.

"The best company always is," Tairyn retorts. "We've only got three minutes until the portal appears. Channel your Chroma as soon as you see the shimmer. It's attracted to magic. It should pick us up and spit us out near Valenfall in a matter of seconds. However, just to make sure we stick together, I suggest we all hold on to one another. Different people can move different ways in the portals."

"Well, that's where I have to stop you," Callum cuts in. "See, I don't have even an ounce of trust for you."

I cock my head at Callum, wondering where he's going with this. I keep glancing back to the spot the strange man said the portal would appear. Won't be like last time. Won't be like last time.

"As far as I can tell, you've exhausted your usefulness."

Callum kicks Tairyn in the knee, knocking him to the ground. Bobble holds out an arm to keep me from going to him. "Don't Mira. We have to leave him behind."

My jaw drops. My eyes flit between Tairyn sprawled on the ground and the grim expressions of the other Shards. "What?"

"It's for the best. He'll betray us. We can't let him get alone with Cor'than. Who knows what shit he might plan behind our back next?"

"Sunder, you can't be serious."

"We have to," Callum responds. "It's the only way to know for sure he won't turn on us at a crucial moment. I don't want him by my side as I'm facing down Yurghen. I won't leave it up to chance."

They have a point, and I find myself wavering in my resolve. Would I feel safe with him watching my back while I face Yurghen again? My eyes drift to the other three fae standing around me, and in my heart, I know they are right. I trust them each with my life. But Tairyn… I can't.

His words ricochet through me, leaving a dull ache in my chest. I glance at Tairyn, who seems unfazed by the outcome, his face an unreadable mask.

"And you guys decided this when?"

"Just now," Sunder says, his chestnut eyes glinting with a hint of defiance as he shrugs. "It makes sense."

"I see," I respond, my voice hollow. They have their heads on straight, no doubt about that. But something inside me - some small space of softness for Tairyn - recoils at the decision.

"Fine," Tairyn says, his voice cold and detached. "But you're making a mistake."

"Perhaps," Sunder replies, crossing his arms over his broad chest. "But it's one I'm willing to make."

He climbs to his feet, brushing off his pants in a movement that is too controlled to be real. He turns on his heel and stalks down the path the other man took, each step measured and deliberate. My heart races as I watch him walk away, my mind a whirlwind of conflicting emotions.

"Wait," I call out, my voice barely above a whisper.

Tairyn stops in his tracks, but doesn't turn to face me. The others exchange glances, their expressions a mix of concern and irritation. Closing the distance, I take a deep breath and steel myself for what I'm about to say.

My hands tremble as I reach out to touch his face, a mix of longing and frustration coursing through me. The roughness of his stubble against my palms sends shivers down my spine, but as I lock eyes with him, I can sense the tension between us. Is this a mistake? Should I really be doing this? My thoughts are in chaos as our breaths intertwine and I struggle to make a decision.

"You'll miss your ride, Mira." His voice is icy calm, but his eyes trace every inch of my face. A hint of his usual amusement twinkles at the corner of his lips, and my gut twists.

"So much for the no touching rule," I say with a sad smile, my thumb running along the edge of his sharp jaw as I memorize the lines of his face. I bite my bottom lip, glancing back at Sunder just as the air behind him shimmers. Bobble notices it and quickly grabs hold of Sunder and Callum.

"Mira! We have to go!"

"I've broken them all, nin anto anna." Tairyn's voice is soft, hypnotic, as his words wrap around me like a warm blanket. His breath dances and swirls in the air, creating a cloud of enchantment that seems to hold me in its grasp despite the others yelling for me.

"What do you mean?"

"Mira! Now!"

Bobble's command cuts through the air like a knife, breaking the spell between us. "Take care of yourself, Tairyn," I say, each word feeling like a jagged shard of glass lodged in my throat. I pop up onto my tippy toes and plant a soft kiss on his cheek.

The flash of pain in his emerald eyes is fleeting, as he averts his gaze. I swallow the lump in my throat as I take off at a run towards where Sunder, Bobble, and Callum wave me on.

Faster.

Faster.

I sprint towards them, and we intertwine, using our Chroma as a collective force. The portal opens up completely, encompassing us with a shroud of shimmering magic.

My mind flashes back to the first night in my room when he started training me to use my red Chroma.

First rule: don't fall in love with me, I'd told him in jest at the time. My heart leaps into my throat, stuttering at the realization as his last words echo in my mind. I've broken them all.

I steal one final glance over my shoulder, my heart heavy as I watch Tairyn fade into the darkness, his shoulders slumping in defeat.