Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Blythe

I couldn’t remember the last time I felt this exhausted. I was wrung out, emotionally and physically. Everything hurt.

I’d texted Tristan to make sure it was okay to leave the kids with him for the night as soon as I got back to my car, and after he replied that he had everything covered, I drove to the opposite side of town.

My brother must have called in advance and told her everything, because my mother was already sitting out on her front porch by the time I turned my SUV into her driveway. I thought I was all cried out, but the second I saw her the tears started all over again. Mom stood from the top step as I climbed out of the car and rounded the hood.

“Mommy—”

My voice broke on that one word, my face crumpling into a sob.

Tears filled her eyes as she opened her arms. “Oh, my honey pie. Come here.”

I threw myself into her arms and let her hold me as I let it all out for the second time in just a matter of hours. But at least in her arms, I knew I was safe. As she held me, a sense of comfort washed over me that this was exactly where I needed to be to start healing.

Stepping into the break room, I headed straight for the fancy coffee maker Dr. Shaundry had purchased for us and set about making my second cup of the morning. I was going to need it. After the emotional upheaval of the day before, I was running on fumes. I’d cried on my mother’s shoulder until I finally passed out, spending the night on her oversized sectional couch, but even eight uninterrupted hours hadn’t been enough to shake off the exhaustion. It was going to be a three-cup day, at least, if I didn’t want to fall asleep at my desk.

I was watching the stream of the dark liquid drip into my mug when I caught movement from the corner of my eye.

“Good morning,” Merritt offered as she moved to the fridge to stow away her lunch.

“Morning,” I returned, my smile feeling tight, given that most of my face was still a bit swollen from my crying jag. I knew the half-hearted job with concealer I’d attempted this morning had been a waste when I saw her eyes widen as she took me in.

“Are—” She swallowed, and I could see the uncertainty in her pretty face before she pushed past it to ask, “Are you all right?”

I could have lied and given some boilerplate response. Something along the lines of “Oh, yeah. I’m fine,” or, “I just didn’t sleep well last night,” but as I took her in, it hit me that the truth might be a way in.

“At the moment, no. I’m feeling especially shitty right now, but I’m hopeful I’ll be okay eventually.”

She rocked back on her heel, my answer clearly not what she’d been expecting to hear.

The coffee machine sputtered before beeping, letting me know my coffee was finished, and I didn’t hesitate to pick it up and take a sip.

“I—um . . . I’m sorry.”

My smile was a tad more genuine thanks to the hit of caffeine. “I am too. It’s not much fun finding out your entire marriage was a lie.”

I waited anxiously to see if she’d take the bait. I couldn’t just dump everything on her, and I knew this wasn’t the time to push for her story, but maybe if she saw there was some common ground between us, she’d feel safe letting me in.

I let out the breath I’d been holding as soon as she asked, “Do you want to talk about it?”

Bingo.

Her eyes widened as soon as the last word passed her lips, like she worried she was being nosey or something. “You don’t have to, of course. It’s your business. I just thought?—”

“I found out shortly after my husband died that he’d been having an affair,” I said, letting her off the hook with the truth. “That was bad enough, but I couldn’t shake this feeling that I was missing something, so I went to a friend and asked him to do some digging. I found out yesterday that it hadn’t just been an affair. He had a whole other family I never knew about. They had two kids together.” I let out a bitter laugh, the pain from the day before having calcified into anger at some point. “It had been happening most of our marriage.”

Ten years, to be precise, starting around the time I’d gotten pregnant with Avett.

“Oh, Blythe.” She took a step closer to me, her brow furrowing as sadness filled her eyes. It was the first time she wasn’t trying to hide herself away, and I couldn’t help but notice how strikingly beautiful she was. “I don’t know what to say. I’m so sorry.”

“Thank you. It goes to show that things aren’t always what they appear to be from the outside. I mean, we were married fifteen years. Together even longer. And he still turned out to be someone I don’t even recognize. I guess there’s no time limit on finding out the person you thought you knew best was something completely different.”

She cast her eyes down. “No. I suppose there’s not,” she said quietly.

Deciding that I’d said enough, and silently hoping the seed I planted would take root, I headed for the exit, stopping beside her and placing my hand on her forearm. “Thanks for listening. Talking about it helps. Makes it feel like I’m not so alone.” I gave her arm a gentle, comforting squeeze before I passed her on my way out. “I’ll see you out there.”

I caught Merritt’s gaze more than once as the day progressed, noticing she was studying me in a way she hadn’t before. A tiny niggling of hope bloomed that she might open up to me as well, and I might actually have a chance to help her.

Shortly before lunch the door opened, and I smiled my first real smile of the day as Sunny came waltzing in.

“Hey. This is a pleasant surprise.” I raised my brows playfully. “Wait. You don’t have an appointment scheduled, do you?”

She sucked in a dramatic gasp, her eyes scanning over the artful pictures of pregnant women hanging on the walls of the waiting room. “Don’t you dare put that devil on me.”

Where I’d actually enjoyed being pregnant, it had been different for Sunny. She’d developed preeclampsia with her daughter, Brynne, that led to bed rest, and my best friend had never been one to lie around. Growing up, she’d always been busy. If there was something to get into, her name was written all over it. She’d been a cheerleader, not to mention student council president, and prom queen our senior year. She was always on the go, so bed rest had been her own personal form of torture. Poor Aaron had developed a nervous tic, having to put up with her. It had taken a few years and much bribing on her husband’s part to talk her around to one more child. Fortunately, things had been a little easier with Cooper.

She made the sign of the cross then began waving her hands in front of her like she was trying to ward off bad vibes or negative energy. “Now I’m gonna have to sage myself when I get home.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at my friend’s antics. It felt good to actually laugh after the day I had prior, and if there was anyone who could do that for me, it was Sunny. She could do a really good job of living up to her full name sometimes. She could be a ray of sunshine when she wanted to, but there was also a side of her she wouldn’t hesitate to throw down for the ones she loved.

“What brings you by?”

She bent at the waist and rested her elbows on the counter between us. She blinked three times in rapid succession “No reason. I had a free day and thought I’d come by to see if you want to grab lunch.”

I narrowed my eyes, knowing that blink was a precursor to a lie. “You just happened to have a free day, huh?” I asked suspiciously.

She let out an exasperated huff. “Okay, fine. I needed to see for myself that you’re okay.” The earlier humor disappeared, her eyes now swimming with concern. “Let me take you to lunch, B. We can hit Evergreen or Muffin Top. Your choice.” She lowered her voice. “Just let me make sure you’re okay. Please.”

I nodded, my chest swelling a bit. It was only fair I give her that, seeing as I would have done the same exact thing if the shoe were on the other foot. I wasn’t surprised that she knew. I trusted that Lincoln and Rhodes would remain professional and keep their word about not sharing, but this was a small town, and small towns—especially this one—fed on gossip. Things managed to slip through no matter how tightly you tried to keep the lid on. It felt good to be back where my support system was. Sunny had been there for me as best she could after Elliott died. She called regularly to check up on me and even flew to Indiana shortly after it happened, staying until after the funeral. Now, being in the same place meant the shoulders I had to lean on weren’t temporary or over the phone.

“Okay. And I choose Muffin Top. The only way I’m making it through this day is if I can get a cup of coffee the size of my head.”

By the time I finished relaying to her everything Lincoln had told me, Sunny’s face was so red she could have stood at the intersection in the middle of downtown and acted as a stop sign. My best friend practically vibrated with rage as her fingers tore at the uneaten croissant on the plate in front of her, shredding it into teeny-tiny pieces.

“That mother fucker ,” she hissed, mindful to keep her voice low, seeing as Muffin Top was a family establishment. “If he were alive I’d castrate the cheating fuckhead. No, you know what? I’m stopping by the library on the way home. Maybe they have some books on witchcraft or something that’ll teach us how to raise a person from the dead so I can cut his pecker off and kill him all over again.”

I snorted up a bit of my coffee at her colorful threat. “Jeez, Sun... don’t hold back or anything.”

She leaned forward and dropped her voice to a menacing hiss. “That piece of shit was playing house with another woman!” she whisper-yelled before flopping back in her seat and raking a hand through her hair. “My God,” she said on a sigh. “He might not have been my favorite person, but I never expected this .”

That was a testament to how good of a friend Sunny was. From the first time they met, there had been an underlying tension between them. Elliott hadn’t bothered to hide his animosity toward my best friend, and more than once we’d gotten into a fight over him acting like an entitled snob. But she’d never once said a negative word.

I should have seen that for the red flag it was, but what they said about hindsight really was true.

“You never told me why you didn’t like him.”

Her brows pulled together in a frown. “Of course I didn’t. You’re my best friend and he was your husband and the father of your kids. What kind of person would I have been if I talked shit about the man you chose to spend your life with? As long as he made you happy, that was all that mattered to me.”

My heart clenched as I picked up my latte and took a sip. “Well, I think if there ever was a time for you to tell me how you really feel it would be now.”

Her expression fell, sadness filling her gaze. “Honey, I don’t think?—”

“Please, Sun. I feel like I lived all these years with blinders on. You weren’t the only person I sensed who didn’t care for my husband, but no one ever said anything. Tell me now. I need to know.”

She let out a heavy sigh. “He was a pretentious ass,” she finally said, blurting the words like she was trying to get them out as quickly as possible. “He always acted like he was better than us whenever we came to visit, like being from a small town made us beneath him or something. He never came right out and said it, it was more like a feeling. He’d get these little digs in then act like it was all a joke. But I couldn’t shake the feeling that he would have been happy if you dropped everyone from your old life.”

I sniffled, her figure going blurry as my eyes welled up. I blinked the tears back, refusing to let them fall as I reached across the table and placed a hand over hers. “I’m so sorry he made you feel like that.”

She flipped her hand over and wrapped her fingers around mine, giving them a squeeze. “None of that mattered, B. He was arrogant, sure, but he was also a good father to those babies, and you were happy. You were so heartbroken after...” Her throat worked on a thick swallow. “After you and Rhodes broke up. I hated how sad you were all the time. You started smiling again when you met him. That was all I wanted for you.”

“God, I missed you,” I whispered. As bruised and battered as my heart was over the events of the past several months, I could feel pieces of it stitching back together, thanks to Sunny.

“I missed you too, B.” She quirked her head and smiled. “You’re my bestie for life. Things suck right now, but you’re going to get through this. I’m here for you. Your family is here. We’re going to make sure you get to the other side. I promise.”

I couldn’t have asked for a better friend than Sunny, and I didn’t want to think about where I’d be if I didn’t have her in my life.

“To be honest, I can’t believe you aren’t curled up in your bed right now. You’re so dang strong, Blythe. If it were me, I would have lost it.”

I let out a dry chuckle and rubbed at my temples. My crying jags had given me a headache that I hadn’t been able to get rid of. “Oh, believe me, I lost it. And it wasn’t pretty. After Lincoln...” I swallowed hard, trying to force down the ball of emotion making my throat tight. “I had to get out of there. I went to the lookout and screamed into the sky until my throat felt like it had been shredded by broken glass.”

Her face fell and her fingers tensed around mine again. “Oh, honey.”

I shook my head as I remembered how badly I’d broken down. “Rhodes was there. He witnessed the whole thing, but I’m too damn tired to be embarrassed about it.”

“First, you have nothing to be embarrassed about,” she said firmly, her tone brooking zero argument. “And second, I’m not surprised you ran into him there. He goes up to the lookout all the time.”

My heart kicked up and my spine straightened. Sunny knew about Rhodes’s and my spot because I’d told her about it, but she’d never been there herself, at least she hadn’t before I moved away. “He does?”

She nodded. “He won’t say it, but I think he goes there to feel close to you. It’s been that way since he got back. If we can’t find him it’s because he’s there. Sometimes he’ll disappear for a couple days, camping out up there.”

My mind raced back to what he said as he held me like I was made of glass and it was his job to protect me from anything that might break me. “He told me he still loves me,” I confessed quietly. I waited a beat for Sunny to have some sort of reaction to that, but it never came. “Why don’t you look surprised?”

She lifted her shoulders in a shrug and tossed a piece of shredded croissant into her mouth. “Because I’m not. I know my brother better than he knows himself. And even though I still want to kick his ass for hurting you, I know he ripped his heart out the day he broke up with you. I always respected your wishes not to bring him up, but there hasn’t been anyone for him since you.”

A bitter, unpleasant feeling rolled through me as I remembered back to the woman in the grocery store. I couldn’t stop the scoff that burst past my lips. “Yeah, I don’t buy that.”

“I’m not saying he’s been a saint. What I mean is that not a single one of them has been important. In twenty years, he hasn’t brought a single one of them around to meet us.”

The bite of Danish I’d just taken lodged in my throat. There was no one more important to Rhodes than his family, so the fact that he hadn’t brought a single woman around any of them spoke volumes.

I didn’t know what to think about that. All I knew was I wasn’t prepared for how that knowledge made me feel.