Chapter 4

Raya

I'd forgotten how hot and humid it was here. The school didn't have any air conditioning or fans. Granted the windows were open and there was a breeze, but I wasn't used to such humidity any longer. I felt like I'd been in the oven all day and wanted nothing more than to stay in my room and relax.

Grabbing another bottle of cold water out of the small refrigerator in my room, I opened it and headed for the bathroom. Nothing helped me unwind like a long soak in a bubble bath and this tub was amazing. Power jets pulsing against my aching muscles was exactly what I needed.

I slipped out of my clothes and tested the water with my toe. Hot. Just the way I liked it. Slowly, I eased myself in until I was neck deep and leaning back with my eyes closed. I could imagine myself back home doing the same after a long day at work. The only difference was no interruption. Somehow, Joey always needed something, usually food, the moment I got comfortable.

Thinking about him makes my heart ache. It'd only been three days since I'd seen him, and it already felt like weeks.

My eyes burned as I fought back tears. I wanted to hear his voice. See his face. Kathy had texted me and kept me up to date with everything, but it wasn't the same. Soon he'd be waking up and getting ready for school. I wanted to wish him a good day and remind him about his English project that was due tomorrow. He said it was almost finished, but he was a procrastinator, and the teacher would be able to tell it was rushed.

Maybe it was the teacher in me, but I didn't take any excuses from him. Maybe it was because he never had one that I thought was valid. But if his grades started to slip, it was my fault. I was the one who'd left him. It was my responsibility to make sure my son was doing what was expected, not Kathy's.

I was powerless to do anything other than to trust both Kathy and Joey. I knew it was going to be difficult, on Joey, but I never expected it to be harder on me.

Guess I'm not as strong as I thought I was.

Slipping deeper into the bath water, I dipped my head underwater, then back up trying to wash away the loneliness. Instead, it broke through the little bit of control I had, and the floodgates opened. Tears streamed down my cheeks as I sat in the tub.

It wasn't just that I was missing my son. I was exhausted. Mentally and physically. I'd read everything that Orion had provided me, yet once I was in the classrooms, it was as though my mind had gone blank. I never felt so unprepared in my life and by the end of the day I was questioning my ability to do the job.

Had I been that overconfident? Based on how the day spiraled out of my control, I'd have to say yes. I didn't call Orion, but I had a feeling he knew everything already. Some things had been honestly out of my control like five students coming down with stomach aches and needing to be sent home. But how was I going to explain a fight breaking out during the lunch break? I was positive that wasn't something that would've happened on Orion's watch. I'm sure he was going to have plenty to say about it when we met for dinner later.

Don't make yourself sick over it before it happens.

The water was beginning to cool, so I pulled the drain plug and turned the hot water back on because I wasn't ready to get out just yet. Once it was back to the way I liked it, I put the plug back in and filled the tub with as much water as it would hold. Leaning back, this time, I forced myself to relax. There were so many good things that I needed to focus on. Like the fact that Joey would be around family for the first time ever.

My parents knew of him and had spoken to him a few times on the phone, but they didn't have any real connection beyond that. That blame lay on me. My parents had been angry with me for getting married without informing them, and then again, divorcing shortly after. They had insisted that I return to Tabiq and raise Joey here. But there was nothing for me here at that time. And when I refused it was a major insult to them. They just didn't understand me. I wasn't ever going to go back to who I was before. I had wanted to prove that just because I made a huge mistake, not everything was bad. I had my son Joey. He's the best thing that ever happened to me and I was going to spend my life making sure he knew it.

He is no mistake. He's a precious gift.

Closing my eyes, I smiled thinking of how cute he was as a baby, and how much energy he had as a toddler. The first couple of years I was lucky if I got four hours of sleep. I worked, continued my schooling, and parented. My parents thought I was taking the easy way out by not returning to Tabiq, but that was the furthest from the truth. I took the hard way. The independent way.

My way.

It worked for me. Through it all, I found security and happiness. Not bad for someone who easily could've said, ‘oh pity me'. But I was never one who came up with excuses, instead I came up with resolutions. That's exactly how I was going to handle my job here.

I sank deeper into the hot water and closed my eyes.

Tomorrow. I'll start tomorrow.

Right now, I just wanted to get a few minutes of rest before I called Joey before he goes to school.

Just closing my eyes. That's all. Just for one minute.

"Raya!" A man's panicked voice called out.

I blinked, forcing my eyes to open only to find Orion dropping onto his knees beside the tub, reaching out towards me.

"What the hell!" I asked, pulling away, wide awake now. "What are you doing in here?" I snapped.

His eyes were wide, and I felt them scanning the length of the tub. The look of fear vanished, but as his eyes roamed slowly back up and locked on mine, I felt a knot in the pit of my stomach. "You're okay," he said in a deep voice.

For a split second, I almost forgot that he was an uninvited guest. Damn you, libido. Why mess with me now? Forcing myself to focus on the current situation, I glared at him, and replied, "Of course, I am." Raising my hands to my breast, I sank down as deep as I could, hoping that what little bubbles were left would cover everything that I didn't want him to see. Since I was naked, that pretty much was most of me. "Sorry for the intrusion, Ms. Davison. We thought you might need assistance. I see that is not the case. It appears you don't need anything," another man's voice said. We? If it was not bad enough that Orion got a look at me naked, he brought company. I looked beyond Orion and even with his back turned towards me, I knew it was Bennett Stone, head of security at the resort. He'd made it a point to introduce himself before I left for work yesterday morning. Nice man, but still had no clue as to why he was in my bathroom either. Did I look like I needed help? I mean, I've been bathing myself since age five.

"The only thing I need right now is privacy!" I said firmly, glad at least one of the men had the decency to turn away.

Bennett said, "Of course. We'll lock the door behind us."

Orion didn't follow. "I'll catch up with you later," he said as Bennett left the bathroom. His eyes, still meeting mine.

At least I knew they weren't staring at my boobs or anything else. "Please, feel free to go with him," I suggested.

"I'm glad you are okay."

"Yeah. Thanks." Not the time for small talk. "Umm, not sure if you realize this, but this is a little awkward," I admitted, not sure why he hadn't figured that out on his own, but he didn't seem bothered at all. Then again, he had his clothes on.

"I'll wait in the other room for you so we can talk," he replied.

Finally!

The other room was my bedroom and all I had with me was my bathrobe. My gut said that if I protested and tried to send him to the lobby, he would stay and argue. And the way he was looking at me said he wouldn't mind prolonging this either. Wanting this to end, I gave in with a simple nod, and he finally left.

As soon as the door was closed behind him, I quickly got out of the tub, toweled off and put on my robe. I didn't want to keep him waiting in fear that he might think there was something wrong, and barge back in again.

I opened the door, silently praying that he would change his mind and that my room would be vacant. Unfortunately, Orion was sitting at the table reading something on his cell phone. Maybe the proper edict for walking in on your direct report while she soaks in the tub. I never thought there should be such a thing, but obviously, I was wrong.

Great. Guess we're still going to have our talk now.

I made sure the sash of my robe was tight and I was completely covered before I joined him. When I sat down, I decided to be straightforward. This wasn't on me. I didn't invade his privacy. As far as I was concerned, he owed me not just an apology, but an explanation too. And if it wasn't satisfactory, then I was going to Reesa, packing my bags, and going home. I didn't care how good a job was going to be on my resume, I needed to feel respected and safe.

"Mr. Moyer..."

"Orion," he corrected me.

Using his first name made this feel less formal. So, I needed to stress it with my tone instead. "Orion, why on earth did you feel the need to storm into my room? Do you know how utterly embarrassing that was for me?"

He placed his phone on the table beside mine. "I told you; I was worried that something was wrong."

That wasn't an explanation. "I see no reason why you should be concerned. If there had been an issue, I'd have reached out to you."

"We had a dinner date for six," he stated.

"I'm aware of that."

He huffed, obviously frustrated. "Raya, it is almost seven."

"What? Seven?" I got in the tub shortly after five.

"Yes, seven. I rang your phone, and you didn't answer. When I came to your room and knocked, you still didn't answer. So, while I was standing outside of your door, I rang your phone a second time. I could hear it ringing but you still..."

"I know. I didn't answer. I was taking a bath as you now know. I couldn't hear it through the door," I stated firmly. If I had been awake, I would have.

"No. You were sleeping in the bath. Do you know how dangerous that is? You could've slipped beneath the water and drowned," he said.

The concern in his tone was sincere. I wanted to appreciate that. It felt good to have someone care whether I lived or died. My ex-husband probably had forgotten that me and Joey even existed since we never heard from him anymore. But Orion wasn't a husband or a boyfriend. He was my boss. The only thing he should be concerned about is my job performance. Which was something that we should be discussing instead of bathroom safety. That didn't mean he wasn't correct. It was a poor decision on my part, but thankfully, nothing happened.

"Could've but didn't. And I was just resting my eyes. That's all." Not sure when I had closed my eyes, but if it really was almost seven, then they were closed for a lot longer than I recall and that explained why the bath water was cold.

"Yet you didn't hear your phone or Bennett and me knocking?" he questioned.

I had already explained that I couldn't hear with the door shut. Was he not listening to me? I could tell he didn't believe me. And he shouldn't. But this was too much. "Is this an interrogation? Because it feels like one." No way was I going to let him know just how mortified I was still feeling. Even now, when he looked at me, all I could think about was him seeing me naked. How were we going to get past this and move forward like it never happened? Every time I am going to look into his eyes, all I will think about is how he looked at me. Like he...wanted me.

Don't think about that. It will only make things worse.

"You asked for an explanation, and I was providing one," he replied.

"Fine. So, we agree that it was not intentional or necessary," I said flatly.

Orion shook his head. "I wouldn't go that far. Hopefully, we both learned something from this ordeal." Like locking the bathroom door even if you believe you're alone. "I know that I have."

I was afraid to ask what that was. But before I had time to pursue it, my cell phone buzzed with a Facetime call. It was lying face up on the table between us, and I couldn't help but notice who it said the caller was. My Baby. I'd been waiting all day for this, and nothing Orion had to say was going to make me miss it.

I stood up and reached for my phone and said, "I need to take this call."

He rose and said, "How about we try dinner tomorrow night? Same time?"

At this point, I would agree to just about anything to get him to leave. I nodded and watched Orion as he walked to the door and let himself out.

Quickly, I swiped my phone and his handsome face appeared. I wanted to think about nothing other than him because I knew we didn't have long to chat. "Good morning," I said, in a very cheery tone, ecstatic to hear his voice.

"Hi, Mom. Kathy is just about to drop me off at school. I called you earlier, but you didn't answer. Were you still at work?" Joey asked.

"No. I was taking a bath and I lost track of time," I said. "I promise I will set my alarm so that I call you when you get out of school so we will have more time to talk."

"You don't have to do that. Kathy is taking me to the mall for pizza and then the arcade. She thinks she can beat me at pinball. I bet her five dollars that I'd win," he grinned.

"Joey, you should not be betting," I said sternly.

"Oh, Mom. It's not like I was going to really take her money," he sighed, rolling his eyes. I really hope not. "And I won't be able to hear you properly there with all the noise so maybe we can talk tomorrow instead," he suggested.

No way. It was hard enough not to be there to kiss him goodnight and to hear about his day. I was calling, whether he liked it or not. "Joey, it's a school night. You know you can't go out to the mall." I never allowed him out until Friday. Some parents didn't take their children's studies seriously, but I wasn't one of them.

"No school tomorrow. It's a professional day and only the teachers need to go," he reminded me.

"Oh, yeah. That's right." What was wrong with me?

"You never forget anything, Mom. Maybe you need to go to bed early. Remember, you have work tomorrow," he said, turning the tables onto me. I could see the joy he was getting out of it too.

Not going to happen young man. I'm still your mama.

"I guess I have a lot on my mind with my new job. There is so much to learn." I was glad to hear Kathy wasn't totally breaking my rules like I feared.

"Yeah. You told me that was going to happen. You said you were running a school, but it was like you were also going back to school. Still don't understand that. It's not like you must sit in a classroom and have to do homework when you get home."

"I do have homework, just not the same kind you have," I explained.

"So, this is kind of like the first day of school?"

"In a way," I replied.

"Were you excited and nervous?" he asked. I nodded and then he got all serious. "Don't worry, Mom, you're going to make friends and it will be okay," Joey said. "And before you know it, you're going to want to go to school just to see them."

I chuckled softly to myself. That's my boy. "You're right. Tomorrow will be easier." What would make it easier would be never having to see Orion again. I was so embarrassed. Kathy would get a good chuckle if she knew what transpired tonight. Too bad she'll never know. "Joey, you better get going so you're not late. Why don't you call me when you get home from the mall instead?"

"Okay. Kathy said we can't be out too late anyway. Bye, Mom."

"Bye Joey," I said, but the call ended too quickly. I love you.

I held the dark screen over my heart as though I could hug him from afar. He looked good. Sounded good. I should be happy. Not that I wanted him to miss me as much as I was missing him, but maybe a little more wouldn't hurt. But this is what you get when you raise your child to be strong and independent.

My phone was fully charged, so there was no need to leave it on the table. And just in case he or anyone needed to reach me, I wanted to keep it close. No way was I chancing a replay from earlier.

It was still early, but my body hadn't fully recovered from the flight a couple of days ago. Even the time zone difference was going to take time to adjust to. With no dinner plans, and since I wasn't hungry, there was only one thing left for me to do. Try to get some much-needed sleep.

Before doing anything, I needed to make sure that the door to my room was securely locked. It was, but I still put the small brass chain across the top to prevent any more unwelcome guests.

With everything set, I walked over to the bed, and let my robe slip off my shoulders and drop to the floor before crawling beneath the cool sheets. A soft moan escaped my lips as I sank into the plush mattress. This was luxury, and it felt wonderful. Sleeping naked was something I enjoyed, but couldn't do at home for fear Joey would come in. None of those worries tonight.

But that didn't mean my mind was at peace. Even though I knew Joey was okay, nothing else was. Ziva and Alex said they should have a few places for me to look at in two days. How was I going to manage that when I hardly had time to myself now?

A place of my own for me and Joey was top of the list of importance. I didn't want him and me to share a hotel room. I wanted a place that felt like ours. Joey was used to having his own yard to play basketball in. A neighborhood where he could ride his bike with friends. In my mind, finding a place that was ours would help Joey feel more like home.

It sounded horrible, but I didn't want a place too close to my parents. I loved them, but we still didn't see eye to eye. And I really didn't think they had forgiven me for not returning to Tabiq sooner. And I knew they would try to change Joey, make him a Tabiqian. It's not that I didn't want him to know his roots, but I wanted Joey to be who he wanted to be, and not force it down his throat.

I like him just the way he is. He's my little Joey. Just not so little anymore.

I was different too. Outspoken and stubborn. Not the traits you normally found in a woman here. At least you didn't when I lived here. But Ziva wasn't quiet or shy. She'd lived here all her life. No one looked at her differently when she spoke up. Maybe they won't when I do. Of course, I must admit, I'd done so a few times with Orion. He was so hard to read, and I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

Well, at least usually I couldn't. But the way he looked at me when I was in the bathtub wasn't professional. Yeah, he'd been concerned, but that changed to....to something more, much more...intimate. It'd been a while since a man looked at me like that, and at another place or time, I wouldn't have kicked him out. But thankfully, he and I hadn't been alone so I didn't have to wonder what might have happened. Because nothing can. Not with him.

I pride myself on being professional. No matter what little butterflies I get in my stomach when he looks at me, I wasn't going to let him know.

Just another stress that I didn't need.

And something I sure in hell didn't expect.