Chapter 11

11

Adison

As much as I hate to admit it, I feel a closeness to Rush— a closeness I’ve never felt with anyone before. He not only makes me feel special, but he also makes me feel wanted. I’ve always had trouble making friends and feeling comfortable in crowds. I mostly like to hang out alone. This is the first time I’ve ever felt completely comfortable in my own skin, so to speak. Rush does that for me.

It's been several weeks since the night in his room during the storm. He’s invited me to parties at his house. We’ve gone to movies, gone on bike rides, and spent hours talking. Just talking. My favorite thing is when we get to catch up with each other at the end of the day. I can share anything with Rush— like he really listens and cares about what I say and what I think.

We’re only several weeks from mid-term exams and Rush has been studying practically non-stop for the math exam. We’ve gone over the material, and he’s ready for the exam. It’s been rewarding seeing him — and my other students— blossom this semester. I believe every one of them is ready for finals.

After an exceptionally rough day in class, I’m ready to be with Rush. When I reach his house, he’s on the porch. He stands when I approach.

“Waiting for me?” I wrap my arms around his waist. His familiar scent makes my head spin.

Rush narrows his brows. “You look tired. Bad day?”

This guy. This guy I’m falling in love with gets me. He understands me.

I shrug. “It’s getting a lot better now that I’m with you.”

His lips curl up at the corners and the smirk makes my heart dance in my chest practically making me forget about my day.

“Tell me all about your day. How can I make things better for you?” He toys with the top button on my shirt. He wraps his arms around me and holds me close. The heat from his body makes me feel gooey inside. “Let’s go up to my room.”

I’m not sure what it feels like to be in love, but every day with Rush is like a new day. Like how everything is after a rain. It’s all clean and the air smells fresh. It’s like a warm blanket out of the dryer when you’re freezing cold, and you wrap yourself up in comfort and warmth.

We head up the stairway of the house together and once we’re in Rush’s room with the door securely locked, it doesn’t take long before our yearning hands explore each other.

Rush slips my shirt over my head, and he groans when he sees my black bra. “Love this,” he says as his fingertips gently touch the lace on the top of the garment.

“You make me a better man.” He kisses me gently. “Because you’re just you. You’re not all about bragging to your friends that we’re seeing each other.”

I snort a laugh. “Because I don’t have that many friends.” I tug on his shirt, and he lifts it over his head. I let out a breath. His muscles are taunt and well-defined.

“Well, you know what I mean.”

He kisses my neck. His lips move to my ear as he finds the sensitive area.

“You’re so honest and forthcoming. I’ve never had that in a girlfriend before."

I pull away from him. “A girlfriend? You consider me your girlfriend?”

His eyes melt into mine. “Oh, Adison.” His fingertips lightly graze my face. “I like you.” He kisses me. “I’m falling for you…I’m in love with you.”

I blink and my mouth falls open. “You love me?”

Rush grins and shrugs. “What can I say?” He drops a kiss on my forehead. “I do.”

My head is spinning and my heart is beating out of my chest.

He groans. “I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s like you live in my head.”

“I feel the same.” I blink away my tears. “You’ve taken over my heart.”

I squeeze him. “I love you too.”

He unlatches my bra and throws it across the room. “I can’t stop thinking about you. I think about you when I’m supposed to be doing other stuff.”

I lean my head back and push my chest into Rush. He leans down and takes a breast in his mouth.

We undress slowly as we devour each other with hungry kisses.

When I’m on the bed with Rush in my arms, the stress of the day fades away. I’m safe. When he sinks into me, I let out a groan.

“Is that good, baby?”

“It’s good. So good.” I dig my fingernails into his biceps.

Our lovemaking is slow and intentional— focused on each other’s pleasure. We slip over the edge together and he growls with pleasure. He disposes of the condom and hops back onto the bed. He throws the quilt over the top of us and snuggles into me.

“How’s your day now?” he teases.

I kiss his chest. “Better. Much better.”

We lay in comfortable silence as Rush traces circles on my back with his fingertips.

“Tell me about The Velveteen Rabbit .” His voice is practically a whisper.

I pull away from him and look into his eyes. “What?”

“A few weeks ago… you started to tell me about your favorite book… The Velveteen Rabbit and then you looked like you were about ready to cry.”

“Yeah, I guess I was.”

“Why?”

“It’s probably silly.” I snuggle back into his side.

“No,” he kisses the top of my head, “I’m sure it’s not.”

I take a deep breath. I’ve never shared this story with anyone. “I had to have a second heart surgery when I was thirteen. I told you that.”

“Yes.”

“Before my surgery, my mom gave me The Velveteen Rabbit .”

“Nice.”

“It wasn’t just any copy. She searched high and low. She called around, went to bookstores, and she found one of the original hardback versions. It was one of my favorite stories growing up and she wanted me to have the beautiful hardback version.”

Rush holds me closer.

“The cool thing about it was she found it in this old bookstore about an hour away from us. You know how when you go into an old bookstore, and it has that wonderful aroma of books?” I turn to face Rush. “And when you smell the book, you can tell it’s been well used and treasured. That’s the way this book was.”

“I can see how that would bring tears to your eyes. Your mom sounds very thoughtful.”

I sigh. “That’s not what made me cry. Yes, it was thoughtful, and yes, I love my mom very much. I cried because the book was lost.”

“Oh no. What happened?”

“It’s a long story.”

His voice is low. “I’m not going anywhere.” Rush runs his fingers gently through my hair.

“My parents divorced when I was ten. They had shared custody and one weekend I brought the book to my dad’s apartment. I ended up accidentally leaving it there. Apparently, he packed up a box of items for donation and my book got put into that box.”

“Oh no. You’re kidding.”

“I wish I were. Mom and I searched the donation centers, but we never found my book.”

“And you never got a new one?”

“Well, I have the paperback copy I grew up with but no. I never tried to replace that hardback.”

“I bet your dad felt awful.”

I grunt. “Not really.” The tears threaten to fall. “Let’s just say he hasn’t been the most reliable dad. He’s missed a lot of important things because he’s always put work above everything else. I’m not close to him now. We’ve never had a close relationship— even though that’s something I’ve always wanted.”

“That must’ve been hard. Difficult having your parents living apart.”

I shrug. “You get used to it. I had a few friends who had divorced parents, so we related to each other.”

“I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Thanks.” I kiss him on his scruffy cheek. “What about your family? Your parents are happily married?”

He chuckles. “They are. Celebrated twenty-five years this past summer.”

“Wow. Congratulations to them. That’s a true milestone.”

“They raised us with a lot of expectations.”

“You have siblings?”

“One brother. His name is Thomas.”

I laugh. “What? No crazy name like yours?”

“Actually, it’s Thomas Tackle Radcliffe.”

I gasp. “You’re making it up.”

“I am.” Rush tickles me and I giggle. “No, his real name is Thomas Shula Radcliffe.”

“Shula? What’s a Shula?”

“The last name of one of the most famous football coaches of all time.”

“Do they call him Shula?”

“No, just Tom.”

I yawn. “I’m sleepy.”

“I see that.”

“What did you mean when you said you were raised with a lot of expectations from your parents?”

“It’s mostly Dad. He played college football. Here.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. He was a big deal here and then he went onto the pros as a player and later coached.”

“Very impressive.” It’s hard to believe Rush has such a different background than mine.

“When you’re a coach like that, you have high expectations from your kids. Especially your sons. He always dreamed of us playing ball. Said it was in the Radcliffe blood.”

“Where does Tom play?”

“He doesn’t. He was never interested in sports. You’d think with a middle name of Shula, he’d be a jock, right?”

“Maybe.”

“Nope. He graduated college Suma Cum Laude, and he owns his own business. Really successful.”

“I bet your parents are so proud of him.”

“Mom is,” Rush whispers into my hair.

“Not your dad?”

“Not really.” Rush’s mouth moves to my ear. “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

I devour his mouth and he groans. “No more talking for tonight.”

“Agreed.”

The morning before mid-terms, I meet Rush in the café on campus. He has that sexy smirk on his face.

“Good morning, sunshine.” He winks and slides into the booth next to me.

I kiss his stubbled cheek. “Good morning, yourself. Are you ready for tomorrow? The big day, right?”

He takes a cautious drink from his coffee mug. “I am and I owe it all to you.”

“Well, let’s not get too excited. You still have to pass the exam, you know.”

He laughs. “Thanks for your support, coach.”

“Just saying.”

He squeezes my leg under the table and wraps his arm around my shoulder. “I’m surprised not to see your nose in a book this morning.”

I shrug. “Just enjoying my coffee for a change.”

Rush’s teammate Sean Piper— or Pipe as the team calls him— slides into the empty seat of our booth.

“Morning,” he greets and takes a big gulp from his plastic milk container.

“Hey, Pipe,” Rush says. “Tomorrow’s the big day. Ready for your mid-terms?”

“Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.” Sean shrugs. “I still have to finish a report in my composition class, but I’ll be ready to hand that in tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Sean takes another huge gulp from the milk jug. “You going to the party tonight?”

“Oh, at Will’s new place. Probably not. Not the night before mid-terms, man.”

“Oh, come on. You need to make a showing. The team will be there. You’re invited too, Ads.”

Since the second time I met Sean, he now calls me Ads like we’re old friends.

“Not tonight.” I take a sip of my coffee. “I’m going to look through a few things and then head to bed early so I’m ready for tomorrow.”

“Good idea,” Rush agrees. “Me too. My exam in math is early.”

“Seriously?” Sean rolls his eyes. “It’s not like you have to stay late. Just come over. Have one beer and then go home and get your beauty sleep.”

Rush looks at me with raised eyebrows. “You wanna go and have one drink with me?”

Although I’m about ready to give in, responsible Adison beats out fun Adison. “Not tonight, guys.”

Sean hops out of the booth. “Gotta run. I’ll see you tonight at Will’s place.”

“See you then.” Rush holds up a fist and shares a fist bump with his teammate.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join me? I heard Will’s new place has a hot tub.” Rush gives me a mischievous grin.

I sigh. “I better not. My first final is physics and I’m a little nervous about it.”

“What? You studied it all weekend.” Rush rubs my back and I melt into his touch. “You’re more than ready.”

He stands up. “I’ll head over there early. Maybe have one beer and get back to my place in plenty of time to do a quick review before I go to bed.”

I stand and wrap my arms around him. “Have fun. You’ll text when you get home?”

He squeezes me in a hug. “Wouldn’t be able to sleep unless I did. I won’t be home any later than eleven.”

We exchange a kiss.

It’s not that I don’t trust Rush. I’m sure he won’t do anything stupid at the party, but going out the night before an exam seems risky to me, but that’s just me.

“Talk to you later.” He kisses my forehead and makes his way through the café to his next class.