Chapter 14

14

F or the next few days, Eben did his very best. Keeping up with his most important work in the sickroom, while also offering whatever support he could in the scullery.

It made for more long, busy days, but somehow, they didn’t seem nearly as exhausting as before. Perhaps because it meant Eben left the sickroom at a reasonable hour every afternoon, to ensure he could still catch Tryggr in the scullery — and more often than not, Tryggr would eventually send him away to supper, or to bed.

“ Off with you, Ka -esh,” he would say, with a militant glint in his eye. “ You need rest, remember? Don’t want you crashing like that again.”

Eben hadn’t once attempted to argue, and in truth, it was a strange, surprising relief to be told, to have all the doubts and obligations firmly snatched from his hands. And if he wasn’t mistaken, Tryggr rather enjoyed having his orders obeyed, too — and he would watch intently as he waited for Eben’s answer, his brows raised, his expression cool and assessing.

“ Ach , I ken, sir,” Eben would reply, reflexively putting his hand over his heart, in what he now knew was Skai sign language for thank you . “ I shall return tomorrow.”

He didn’t think he imagined the satisfied hitch in Tryggr’s scent — especially at being called sir — and even if Eben continued to read in his bedroom after supper, he could still almost hear Tryggr’s voice, close and hot in his ear. You need rest. Keep it up. Show him. He’ll come around…

So Eben dutifully went to bed, though he often needed to stroke himself off before he could fall asleep, gasping and arching as visions of a hungry scarred prick and sharp Skai claws pulsed behind his eyes. He hadn’t returned to the dyflissa since that night he’d been injured, and while he still longingly hesitated each time he passed it, he couldn’t dare risk entering it again. Not now, not when Tryggr would instantly scent it upon him.

And Tryggr did scent for it, Eben was almost certain. Every day when Eben stepped into the scullery, Tryggr’s frowning eyes would dart up, his nostrils flaring. And Eben couldn’t deny scenting Tryggr , too, seeking out any changes, any new traces of other orcs — but there was still nothing. Still only him .

It made it too easy to beam at Tryggr’s watching, wary eyes, and then even to shyly greet the scullery’s other occupants. This almost always included Duff , but often an eager young Grisk named Timo , an indolent Bautul named Gaukr , and the Ash - Kai cook Gegnir — and, of course, Alma herself. And Eben had been pleased to see that Alma’s condition had continued to steadily improve, to the point where she’d not only taken over the management of the scullery, but also the mountain’s overall housekeeping efforts — essentially fulfilling the empty role of the mountain’s former Keeper . A considerable and often thankless endeavour, to be sure, but Alma embraced the work with genuine-seeming enthusiasm, and treated her helpers with quiet, consistent kindness.

“ Thank you so much,” she would say to Eben , warm and earnest, whenever he brought in some lye, or drain cleaner, or even a long brush to scrub out the vents. “ That will be a great help, I’m sure.”

Eben always flushed and waved it away, though he often found himself glancing toward her afterwards, inhaling slow and deep. Not only scenting for any signs of further weakness or illness upon her, but also breathing in the distinct scents of Drafli and Baldr , now woven into her own, and deepening with every passing day. Suggesting , much to Eben’s ongoing surprise and relief, that Drafli had indeed continued to honour the terms of that astonishing offer he’d made, welcoming Alma into his relationship, and his bed. Drafli had even made Alma kneel and suck his seed in the scullery, clearly marking both her and the room with his scent, as a true orc mate would — and according to Tryggr’s gleeful retelling, Drafli had even done it while Tryggr and Duff had watched, signing her cool, casual orders that she’d instantly and eagerly obeyed.

Tryggr’s admiring envy as he’d recounted the tale had been blatantly clear, prompting Eben to pay far closer attention to the Skai sign language, while also keeping an admittedly too-curious eye out for any sign of Drafli’s return. And though he was disappointed in that regard, Eben also hadn’t missed how several new buckets and cleaning implements had mysteriously appeared, bearing only Drafli’s scent — and after hearing about the rodent infestation from Tryggr , Drafli had apparently even gone and brought Alma a cat .

If she can keep it up, show Boss she’s worth his time, I ken he’ll come around…

It was more relief in Eben’s thoughts, more hope curling low in his belly. And as the days passed, it made it easier to laugh and chat — and even sign — with his new colleagues, and to keep offering whatever help he could. Which had so far included a thorough cleaning of the drain and vents, an expansion and repair of the ash chute, an ongoing supply of lye and chalk for soap and stains, and help with folding and delivering the laundry when needed. Eben had even begun a daily delivery of fresh tonic for Duff , formulated to include several of the proteins present in rat-meat. Which proved such a success that Tryggr showed up early one morning in the sickroom, and flashed Eben a sheepish smile from across the workbench.

“ Duff’s not feeling so good today,” Tryggr said, “and he’s been asking for the sweet Ka -esh’s sweet drink. Would you mind making a batch early?”

Eben didn’t mind at all, of course, and instantly set to work mixing it up, while Tryggr watched over the workbench. And though Eben’s hands still shook as he worked, he managed not to spill anything, and smiled at Tryggr as he gave the bottle one final shake, and passed it over to him.

“ I hope this helps,” he said shyly. “ I am glad he likes it.”

Tryggr twitched a nod, his eyes lingering oddly on Eben’s face. “ Ach , he does,” he replied. “ An ’ I ken it does help him — he’s always a bit more easy and alert afterwards. Enough to even keep making a fool of himself over that lazy arse Gaukr .”

Eben couldn’t help a laugh — Duff and Gaukr had begun a halting romance of sorts, these past days — but then he found that Tryggr was still hesitating, studying him over the workbench. His mouth pursed, his head tilted, his brow slowly furrowing.

“ So … where’d you learn it all, anyway, Ka -esh?” he asked, his voice carefully light. “ All this” — he gestured vaguely around at the sickroom — “and everything you know about the scullery, too? The vents, the drains, the chutes? The chalk for the bloodstains? How to make lye?”

More heat pooled into Eben’s face, but he shrugged and gave a dismissive wave of his hand. “ Most of it from reading and studying, I ken,” he said, as steadily as he could. “ The lye and chalk have oft been discussed in medical journals and treatises, for keeping clean is of great import in healing wounds, ach? And the engineering, I trained for many, many years upon this, for I was meant to be —”

His voice tripped, caught in his throat, but before him, Tryggr was still waiting, listening, his eyes curious and intent. So Eben forced himself to swallow, to draw in a deep breath of Tryggr’s sweet scent. Still with only him, only him, upon it.

“ I was meant to be our clan’s Chief Structural Engineer ,” he said thickly. “ Just as my father, and his father before him. But I wished — to learn medicine, instead. To seek answers to what ails our kin and our women, and offer the help they need.”

Tryggr’s eyes shifted, his head tilting a little further. “ You have regrets, though?” he asked, careful now. “ Wish you’d gone for the fancy title after all? Probably came with plenty of credits and acclaim, I ken?”

His voice sounded skeptical, almost suspicious, and curse it, Eben’s scent must have betrayed something, must have hinted at all that old whispering darkness. And he had to draw in another deep, dragging breath, hold it in, only him, only him…

“ I only regret — my father,” he croaked out, his lip quivering hard enough that he bit down painfully against it. “ He never forgave me for abandoning his great work, and he banished me from — our lives. Our home. Even upon his deathbed, he did not —”

He couldn’t finish it, squeezing his eyes shut, shaking his head. And for an instant, there was silence before him, heavy and watchful — and then the feel of a warm, strong hand, gripping at his shoulder.

“ Real sorry to hear that, Ka -esh,” came Tryggr’s low voice. “ Your pa was a fool for not seeing how good you are at your work. An ’ how important it is, too.”

Eben’s shocked eyes blinked open, searching Tryggr’s face, but there was no mockery in it, no trace of guile or sarcasm. Only a strange, serious stillness, something almost like… respect.

“ It’s good work, Ka -esh,” Tryggr said, with a gentle squeeze to Eben’s arm. “ Real good, ach?”

What ? Tryggr didn’t… mean that. Did he? He thought Eben’s work was good? Truly ?

But yes, Tryggr was still looking at him like that, still holding Eben’s shoulder, and now twitching a sad little smile. “ You deserved better, Ka -esh,” he said. “ Not sure how I got two good fathers — between Pa and Pabbi — and you got dumped with yours. Don’t seem fair, does it?”

Eben swallowed, his scrambling thoughts fighting to follow, to focus. Because yes, Tryggr had mentioned his father before, hadn’t he? But he’d never brought up his pabbi — his adopted father — right?

“ What — what are your fathers like?” Eben managed. “ Are they both — good to you? Do they uphold — your goals? Your work?”

Tryggr’s mouth twitched, his eyes flickering with warm, wry fondness. “ Ach , always,” he said. “ Though it oft takes a bit of fussing to sort out, you ken. Pa first got it into his thick head that I oughta be a great Skai warrior, leading battles and such — but once I told him I’d rather work for Boss , he blustered for a day or two, and then went and set it all up for me. Told Boss he’d be a fool not to take me.”

A small smile pulled at Eben’s mouth — Tryggr’s pa had to be a fearsome orc, to make demands of Drafli like that — and Tryggr’s smile widened too, as he huffed a rueful little chuckle. “ Don’t mean Pa don’t still try to poke his nose in wherever he can, though,” he added lightly, with a roll of his eyes. “ Thank Skai -kesh, Pabbi usually settles him down, and keeps him in line. Without him, I ken Pa would be sniffing about the scullery every damned day, asking after the sweet Ka -esh’s scent. Again .”

Wait . Tryggr meant — his pa had been asking about… Eben ? About Eben’s scent? About Eben’s scent on Tryggr , he surely meant, because of course Tryggr’s family would smell it, and wonder at it. Wouldn’t they?

And curse it, Eben’s breath was coming too hard, the longing shivering fast and hungry into his scent. Strong enough that perhaps Tryggr had caught it too, his eyes gone blank as he twitched backwards, away — but then he hesitated, and raised the jar of milk toward Eben , as if in a little salute.

“ Well , thanks again, Ka -esh,” he said, husky. “ An ’ see you later today?”

Eben fervently nodded and smiled, and again made the Skai sign for thank you , his hand over his heart. A movement that Tryggr looked at for an instant too long before he turned toward the door — but just before he left, he hesitated, and made a sign back, too. My honour , it said.

Eben couldn’t stop smiling to himself for the rest of the day, as the happiness kept circling and skittering in his chest. Tryggr had come to see him. Tryggr had wanted his tonic. Tryggr had told him about his family. And most powerful of all, Tryggr had praised Eben’s work.

Your pa was a fool. It’s good work. Real good.

It was something no one else had ever said to Eben , not that he could ever recall. Among the Ka -esh, an engineer remained the highest possible calling, commanding praise and respect, while medicine was new, untested, unfamiliar. Something done mostly by the Ash - Kai clan, with their gifted healers like Efterar — or perhaps sometimes by the Grisk , with their care for kin and home. Until Eben , and then Salvi after him, it had never been a Ka -esh discipline, not in the slightest. And to be told — by a Skai ! — of its worth felt deeply, fundamentally powerful. Like something Eben would forever treasure, for all his days.

That afternoon in the scullery, it was even easier to chat and laugh with Tryggr and Duff — who’d eagerly drunk the second bottle of tonic Eben had brought him — and with Alma , too. Alma still wasn’t in the scullery as often as Tryggr and Duff , due to her ever-expanding work as the mountain’s new Keeper , but today she was making more soap, while excitedly reviewing their plans to do a full floor-washing, all throughout the mountain.

It was an endeavour that required flooding the mountain from the top, and it had needed considerable amounts of Ka -esh input, including the involvement of multiple engineers. And Eben had willingly taken the lead on the Ka -esh side of the project, collecting and combining all the engineers’ notes, reviewing and translating them into common-tongue, and adding his own annotations. And just the evening before, he’d finished a comprehensive summary of required processes and estimated timelines for Alma , so she could assign tasks to her helpers as needed, and create a proper schedule for the day.

“ That document has just been so helpful,” she said warmly over her shoulder, toward where Eben was currently hanging the clean wet laundry on the wall’s rickety drying racks. “ Thank you so much for pulling it together on such short notice. It must have been a shocking amount of work, on top of all your work in the sickroom.”

Eben shrugged and waved it away, though he couldn’t quite suppress his small, grateful smile toward her. To which Alma smiled back, a flush spreading across her pretty face — even as a dark, bitter scent filtered from Tryggr at the washbasin.

“ So how’re things going with Boss these days, woman?” Tryggr cut in, his voice sharp. “ He still treating you properly, training you up, showing you off? Giving you lots of joy with his mate?”

Alma’s face flushed even redder, and she mumbled something unintelligible toward the sink. But there was no mistaking the sudden surge of hunger and longing and pleasure in her scent, so strong it nearly swayed Eben on his feet, and flared a stab of envy deep into his belly. What must it be like, to have such a fearsome Skai treating you properly, training you up, showing you off? Giving you joy?

He’ll come around , Tryggr had said. If she can keep it up, show she’s worth his time…

Eben couldn’t help a furtive look toward Tryggr at the basin, and found him frowning down at the water, his brow deeply furrowed. Looking so strangely troubled that Eben felt his own happiness — his own hopefulness — slightly faltering, skittering into his fingers. Into where he foolishly fumbled at a bar of the drying rack, and knocked half of it out of the damned wall entirely.

“ Ach , Ka -esh!” Tryggr snapped, as he lurched over, and caught the bars before they tumbled to the floor. “ Watch yourself!”

Oh . A cold shudder rippled up Eben’s spine, his head instantly ducking, his eyes squeezing shut. “ Sorry , sir,” he croaked, thick in his throat. “ It was a — a —”

An accident , he’d meant to say, but oh, he couldn’t even speak, the sudden misery churning in his belly, flooding hot into his chest. Foolish . Foolish . And Tryggr was still frowning at him like that, like he was foolish, weak — and curse it, Eben wasn’t about to start weeping, not here, not now, not where they all could see —

He mumbled a choked, halting excuse, and then spun around, and dodged for the door. Rushing out through the kitchen, into the corridor, as the vision of the distant Ka -esh wing bloomed behind his eyes. The vision of the dyflissa , yes, with its sweet promises of relief, of pain, of forgetting. It had been so long, the longest Eben could remember going without being touched in his entire adult life, and he just needed — he needed —

He crashed. Smashing straight into something warm and solid, sending him reeling backwards, staggering on his feet. Blinking , focusing, as more miserable panic shot through his chest, through his trembling, gulping mouth…

It was Drafli .