Chapter 30

First dates and photobooths

"Are you ready?" Chris asks, his hands covering my eyes.

I exhale nervously, staring into darkness. "Is this the part where you kill me?" I joke.

He laughs, removing his hands, and my eyes open, widening when I see the carnival we used to love hanging out at—the same carnival we went to on prom night. The night I kissed him. The night he left.

Turning around, my eyes widen even more. "You're kidding," I say, unable to speak as the familiar noise and music rushes back.

He returns my smile, shaking his head. "Did you really think we'd spend your birthday back in South Carolina and I wouldn't bring you here?"

I squeal in excitement and jump into his arms. Chris catches me effortlessly, laughing as I pepper kisses all over his face. "I love you. I love you. I love you," I repeat, making every inch of his face feel my kisses.

"I love you too," he says with a chuckle. "Happy birthday, pretty girl."

"Best birthday ever," I say with a sigh. "Without a doubt. This beats all of the other ones."

"Yeah?"

I nod, a grin on my face as I wrap my arms around his neck. This past week has been incredible, and this morning was just a continuation of that when Chris woke me up with a huge stack of pancakes, and twenty-two candles placed on top. And now, we're going on our first ever date. The thought makes my brows shoot up. This is our first date. My first date.

"You know...I've never been on a date," I confess.

Chris's brows furrow in surprise. "Never?"

"No."

"What about..." He starts to ask, but the muscle in his jaw tenses, and he stops himself. Now that I understand how much it pained him to see me with others, I don't like to bring up the topic. The mere thought of him with someone else makes me feel sick to my stomach, so I can't imagine what Chris felt all those years.

"Never," I tell him with a shrug. "The closest I came to a real date in high school was prom night. With you." He smiles warmly at the memory. "I didn't really go on dates with anyone else, I just—"

"I know," he finishes with a sad smile.

"I just wanted to feel good, have some company, and...It wasn't like it is with you," I admit, shaking my head. "It's not even close."

Chris smiles, his lips curving at the side as he leans closer, brushing our lips together. "I know I don't have the same experiences," he murmurs, pulling back slightly to meet my eyes. "But the kiss I shared with that girl doesn't compare to you either," he says. "Not even close."

My breath hitches, and I narrow my eyes at him. "Don't talk about her."

Chris chuckles, his hands resting at my waist. "Jealous, pretty girl?" he teases. "I've got to say, I really like seeing you like this." He leans in, placing a soft kiss on my jaw.

My hands instinctively clutch his hair. "You're mine," I murmur as he continues kissing down my neck.

"I'm yours," he confirms with a subtle nod. "I always have been." He pulls back with a smirk, running his thumb over my bottom lip. "You know, I guess I have one of your firsts now," he says playfully. "Your first date."

I breathe out a laugh, running my hand over his soft hair. "You can have all of them," I tell him. "I never want to do this with anyone else."

His smile sends a flutter through my heart as he lowers me to the ground, intertwining his fingers with mine as we make our way toward the Ferris wheel.

"Are you up for it?" Chris asks.

I nod, looking up at him with a smile. "I'm not drunk this time."

He chuckles warmly, and we step inside the pod, closing the door behind us.

"I'm actually glad you're not drunk," he admits as the Ferris wheel starts to move.

"Yeah? Why?"

The corner of his lips lift in a smile. "Because," he murmurs, leaning closer until his hand grazes my jaw, cupping my face. "I can do this, and you'll remember it this time." He leans in, brushing his lips against mine. Slow. Soft. Patient.

When we pull away, he wears the prettiest smile on his face, and it makes me want to kiss him again.

"I still think about the last time we were here," I tell him.

"I'm surprised," Chris replies with a chuckle. "You were so drunk, you couldn't even walk."

I playfully push at his shoulders, but my laughter fades into a sigh. "I wish I remembered earlier," I admit. He turns to me with a frown. "I wish I hadn't forgotten," I continue. Our eyes lock, and Chris lets out a sigh.

"Honestly, me too," he says. "So much happened that night, and a part of me thought you'd wake up and regret it, or tell me it meant nothing," he says, swallowing hard. "And after I left, I almost didn't want to reach out to you." A crease forms between his brows. "I didn't want to hear you say those words," he adds with a sigh. "When I called you that day..." He shakes his head, running a hand through his hair. "I was waiting. Waiting for you to bring it up. Waiting for you to say it was a mistake, but..."

"I didn't remember," I finish for him, guilt settling in my stomach as he nods.

When Chris called a week later, I was so stunned by hearing his voice for the first time that I didn't even have a chance to remember what happened that night. I just wanted to know he was okay. I was confused as hell, and sad that he had left me without so much as a word, but I was also just glad to know he was safe.

I held onto hope that he would come back. I imagined us going to college together. But as weeks turned into months and Chris told me about his visa and plans to study abroad, I lost all hope.

"You never brought it up. And I was so damn confused as to why, until it clicked," Chris says, his voice soft. He swallows, brushing his fingers against mine. "Part of me wanted to tell you," he admits. "I wanted you to know it had happened. It killed me to keep this all to myself every time we texted or talked. But I figured telling you would only mess things up further, and I had already screwed up by leaving. I didn't want to make it worse."

I wonder what would have happened if he did tell me. How would I have reacted? What would I have said?

"Is that why you never visited?" I ask him tentatively. "You were worried you wouldn't be able to keep it a secret?"

He shrugs, pressing his lips together. "Part of it, I guess. I was scared our friendship would change. I was out of my mind in love with you for years, and I didn't know how to handle it," he admits with a sigh. "But it wasn't just that keeping me away."

My brows furrow with concern. "Then what?" The Ferris wheel resumes its slow rotation, but I keep my gaze fixed on him.

"My dad," he says, his jaw tightening. "The longer I was away, the more I hoped he wouldn't have control over me anymore," he explains. "I was so scared of having to face him again that..." He shakes his head. "I hate that he still affects me," he admits bitterly. "He's in prison, and he still has a grip on me."

I scoot closer to Chris, holding his face in my hands. "He doesn't," I assure him. "He's locked up miles away, and you're free, Chris. You and your mom are free from him."

He exhales heavily, closing his eyes briefly. "Yeah," he murmurs, his shoulders visibly relaxing. "I'm free." I nod reassuringly, brushing his hair back. His Adam's apple bobs as he swallows. "My mom's free."

"Have you… gone to see her yet?"

He shakes his head, eyes locking on mine. "Will you… Will you come with me?" he pleads, begs. God, he's so nervous, and I can't even imagine what he's feeling.

"Of course I will," I assure him without hesitation. "I'll go anywhere with you."

His eyes light up at my response. "You will?"

I nod, leaning in to press my lips against his. "You know, our star signs are compatible," I say with a smile.

He lets out a laugh. "They are?"

I nod again. "I looked it up," I admit.

He chuckles, lifting my hand to his lips and plants a light kiss on my knuckles. "You needed proof to know we're meant to be?" he teases. "Because I knew way before yesterday."

"It wasn't recently," I explain. "I looked them up a long time ago."

His brows furrow slightly, an amused expression crossing his face. "When?"

I swallow nervously before answering, "Senior year."

His face drops. "As in high school?"

I nod. "I started falling for you back then," I admit. "Or maybe even before that, I'm not sure. But I knew I loved you by then."

He shakes his head, a mixture of frustration and regret evident on his face. "Fuck," he curses under his breath, running a hand through his hair. "We wasted so much damn time, Gabi. If only I had told you or—"

I cut him off with a kiss. There's no point in wondering what might have been when we have each other now. "It's okay," I reassure him. "We have plenty of time to make up for it," I say with a smile. "The stars say we're meant to be."

Chris returns my smile, his touch gentle as he brushes my cheek with the soft pad of his thumb. "Hell yeah, we are. But even if we weren't, I'd fight the stars to be with you." His words make my heart thump against my chest as his eyes lock onto mine. "You're my best friend, Gabi," he continues. "But you're also the love of my life."

Tears well up in my eyes, and I shake my head, trying to compose myself. "Don't make me cry. I worked hard on my makeup."

He chuckles. "And you look beautiful," he says. "You always do."

Our lips brush together, and we get lost in each other, showing the other how much we love each other.

"Ride's over," the guy interrupts, making us break apart to see him chewing some gum as he waits for us to get off.

Chris takes my hand in his as we step off the ride, and I glance behind him. "Look, the photo booth is open."

He smiles as we make our way toward it, climbing inside and closing the curtain.

"Remember the last time we were here?" he asks, inserting coins into the machine, but then he chuckles. "Probably not. You were already wasted by then."

"I remember," I reply, meeting his warm, chocolate eyes. "I remember wanting to kiss you."

Chris holds my gaze for a second and then blows out a breath. "I was so close to kissing you," he admits.

My stomach flutters. "I wish you had."

A smirk spreads across his face as he cups my cheeks, pulling me closer until his lips meet mine in a soft kiss. The camera flashes but we're lost in the moment, burning this moment into my memory, comparing it to when we sat here five years ago, and how everything has changed since then.

Pulling back slightly, I run my fingers through his hair. "You may not have been my first kiss or my first time, but you'll be my last," I tell him with conviction. His smile widens, and I continue. "I love you, Chris. And I've never said those words to anyone but you."

He rests his forehead against mine, his thumb slowly rubbing against my cheek. "I love you too, pretty girl. And I'll never say those words to anyone but you."