Chapter 19

Road trips and dangerous dares

"Look. No hands." Gabi lifts both hands from the steering wheel, grinning at me.

"Jesus," I curse, quickly grabbing the steering wheel. "As much as I'd love to die with you, I'd rather live a few more years first."

She laughs, dropping her hands back onto the wheel. "You're being dramatic. We won't die." But then her smile falters, and she glances at me. "You'd want to die with me?"

I blink, meeting her gaze. I want to do everything with you . "I mean, if I had to die, then yeah, I'd want you by my side." I pause, swallowing all the other words I want to say to her. "You know how terrified I am of death." I chuckle nervously. "But I think it'd be a little less scary if I was with you," I admit with a shrug.

Gabi smiles, her eyes twinkling in the night sky and she shuffles in her seat, glancing back at the road, as the music fills the car. The silence hangs in the air, and a twinge of worry crosses me. Gabi's never quiet.

"Are you okay?" I ask, glancing at her. "It's getting pretty late. Do you want me to drive for a little while?"

She shakes her head, a smirk playing on her lips. "No. I like having you as my passenger princess," she teases.

I let out a scoff. "Dick."

"Where?" she says, craning her neck to look out of both windows.

I shake my head, chuckling. We've been on the road all day, taking turns driving, and I can tell she's getting a bit delirious. "I don't know why the hell I agreed to spend a whole day in a car with you," I say with a sigh.

"Because you can't say no to me," she replies, her grin mischievous.

No, I really can't. I have a feeling I'd do whatever she asked me to.

I have done in the past.

Raindrops begin to patter against the windshield, one after the other. The sound of the rain grows louder as it picks up speed, coming down hard onto the glass. Gabi reaches out and flicks on the wipers, trying to focus on the blurry road.

"I think we should pull over," I say, raising my voice slightly over the sound of the rain. "It's pouring, and it's getting late. We should rest for a bit, and I can take over driving on the way back."

"What?" She shakes her head adamantly. "No way. It's my turn to drive. Besides, I practically dragged you along with me. The least I can do is get us there."

I scoff. "You did not drag me." She really doesn't seem to understand that I'd do anything for her. "I wanted to come, Gabi."

"No, you didn't," she says, stealing a glance at me. "I practically begged you to come with me so I wouldn't have to be alone." She sighs. "You just felt sorry for me."

My lips drop into a frown. Does she really believe that? "That's the last thing I feel for you," I tell her honestly. "I wanted to see you." She turns her attention to me, and my throat tightens with nerves. "I came because I wanted to see you, to be near you. I missed you like crazy, and I wanted to spend time with you."

She holds my gaze, and her lips part. Sometimes, I think she could feel the same as I do. But I've been there before, and I'm not going back. Not when it could shatter my heart, and our friendship into a million tiny pieces.

I clear my throat, tearing my gaze away from her to glance at the road. "Pull over down there," I tell her, gesturing towards the gas station at the side of the road. "We can grab some snacks and rest until the rain lets up."

She groans in agreement and nods. "Yes, please. I'm starving."

I chuckle. "I know. I can tell."

She blinks, tilting her head. "How?"

Gabi gets this drowsy look in her eyes whenever she's hungry. "I just can," I say with a shrug, not wanting to reveal just how well I know her. It surprises me that she thinks I don't know her. She acts like she wasn't the biggest part of my life. I know everything about this girl. More than I should. But that doesn't stop me from thinking about her every damn day.

Every time I see a Ferris wheel it reminds me of her. Every time I see a brownie, it reminds me of her. Of us. And then there are the songs I can't listen to without hearing her. Without thinking of her.

Gabi pulls over into the gas station and brings the car to a stop, then leans her head back against the car seat, letting out a sigh. "How much longer until we're there?" she asks, her voice filled with exhaustion.

I quickly check the map. "About three more hours," I reply.

"Ugh," she groans, closing her eyes. "Why did I think driving was a good idea?"

I laugh, shaking my head. "Because you're too stubborn to go on a plane. Why didn't you, by the way?"

"I'm not stubborn. You didn't have a ticket, and I really wanted you there, and I guess I was…" She sighs, closing her eyes for just a second. "I was scared," she admits.

Scared? Gabi? "Scared of what?"

She glances at me with a glare. "What are people scared of when flying, Chris? Falling, crashing, dying ."

I know I shouldn't, but my lips lift a little.

Gabi is scared of dying.

Most people wouldn't even bat an eyelash at that. Many people are scared of dying, but I remember a time when she wasn't. When she wished for it.

"Are you…" She narrows her eyes at me, suspicion evident in her tone. "Smiling?"

I quickly wipe my hand across my mouth, trying to hide my smile. "Come on. Let's get you fed before you eat me," I joke.

She flashes me a grin that warms my heart. "I wouldn't eat you," she says, tapping my cheek playfully. "Your face is too pretty for that."

I laugh, knowing she's just joking, but my chest betrays me, fluttering like crazy.

Gabi opens her car door, and I follow suit, immediately feeling the pouring rain drenching me as soon as I step out of the car. I glance at Gabi, seeing the water completely drenching her. "Fuck," I mutter, feeling myself getting soaked with each passing second. "Run." She pulls her hoodie over her head, and sprints toward the gas station. I follow right behind her the rain soaking me to the bone until we finally make it inside.

"Holy shit," she says when we're finally out of the rain. "I'm so wet." She lets out a sweet laugh, and I can't help but look down at her, taking in the sight of the most beautiful girl I have ever been lucky enough to see in my lifetime.

She has her navy blue hoodie pulled over her head, wet strands of hair clinging to her face. Water droplets coat her pale skin, and the cold rain makes her lips look puffy and red.

I realize I'm still staring at her when she licks her lips, and like a moth to a flame, my eyes drift down to them. I swallow down the groan building in my throat, forcing myself to tear my eyes away from her.

Fuck.

Why her?

Why couldn't I fall in love with someone else?

Why the fuck do I want the one person who doesn't want me back?

I run a hand through my sopping wet hair, then step back, and turn around to grab a few snacks. Gabi does the same, grabbing some candy and chips, along with a bottle of vodka.

"Really?" I say with a raised eyebrow.

She shrugs. "If we're not driving, we might as well have a little fun." She winks at me before placing everything onto the counter. "Oh crap." She widens her eyes at me. "I left my purse in the car."

"I've got you," I tell her, pulling out my wallet.

She places her hand on mine, shaking her head. "I can run out and grab it," she says.

I wave her off, placing ten bucks on the counter. "It's fine, Gabi," I assure her. "Besides, what are best friends for?" I flash her a grin.

"You're all set," the cashier says, catching my attention.

"Thanks." I quickly stuff the snacks into a plastic bag and head toward the front door, glancing at Gabi. "Are you ready?" I ask her.

She grins, pulling her hood up. "Let's go."

As soon as we swing open the door, the cold, night air hits my skin, and the rain pours down, soaking us within seconds. We hurry toward the car, laughing as the rain splashes around us, and we quickly slam the doors shut as soon as we're inside.

"Fuck," I mutter, shaking the water from my hair. "The seats are drenched."

Gabi lets out a strained laugh. "I bet you're used to that happening."

I furrow my brows in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"With girls," she says with a smirk, making my frown deepen. "I'm sure you've had a girl in the back of your car, right?" she asks, unscrewing the cap of the bottle of vodka before she takes a gulp.

My jaw tightens, the muscle ticking. I hate when she brings up other girls as if she isn't the only one occupying my every thought.

"Let's play a game," she says, holding out the bottle to me.

I eye the bottle, hesitating for a moment before finally grabbing it from her. Screw it. I take a sip, meeting her gaze. "What do you have in mind?"

"Truth or dare," she says with a grin.

A laugh bubbles out of me. Of course.

"Truth," I tell her with a smirk.

She drums her fingers on her thighs, lost in thought, and then tilts her head. "When was the last time you kissed someone?"

My smile slips, and I let out a sigh, feeling my body tense up. "Can I pass?"

"Nope," she says, taking another sip of vodka. "You need to answer."

The muscle in my jaw ticks as my teeth grind together. I really don't want to talk about this, but I know she won't let it go. "Two years ago," I tell her, locking eyes with her.

She furrows her brows, blinking. "In London?"

"Yeah." I swallow, my throat feeling tight.

"Oh." She blinks a few times. A moment of silence hangs between us before she tilts her head slightly, her brows furrowing. "I thought you said you didn't date anyone."

Fuck. I hate talking about this. "I didn't."

She sucks in a breath, nodding. "Right." She shakes her head and laughs, but it sounds off. Taking another sip, she gulps down the alcohol before passing me the bottle. "Your turn," she says.

I take a swig and look at her, my eyes tracing her features. "Truth or dare?"

She chuckles and brings her legs up, resting her chin on her knees. "You don't even need to ask."

My head tilts as my lips lift into a smile. "I dare you to let me drive the rest of the way."

Her brows furrow in confusion. "That isn't a punishment."

"I never said it was."

She sighs, tilting her head back against the headrest. "You're too good for this world," she murmurs, almost to herself. Her head turns slightly, blue eyes landing on me. "Too good for me."

"Why do you say that?"

She shrugs, grabbing the bottle from me before taking another gulp. My jaw tightens, and I almost reach out to stop her. I don't want her to get too drunk. "I don't know," she says, licking the alcohol from her lips. "You're so kind, and loving, and…" Her eyes flick to me. "The best person to have around. And I'm—"

"You're what?" I interrupt.

"I'm a mess," she whispers, her bottom lip trembling.

"What?" My heart pounds in my chest. "Why the fuck would you say that, Gabi?"

"Because it's true," she says with a shrug, taking another sip. "My father hates me, I pushed you away. I deserve to be alone."

"No." I grasp her face in my hands, turning it to look directly into her eyes. "You hear me? No. It's not your fault that your piece of shit father can't see how amazing you are. That's on him, not you." My thumb brushes over her pulse point below her ear. "And you did not push me away," I repeat, because it breaks my heart that she still believes that. "I wanted to stay for you ."

"Then why did you leave?" she asks, her voice rising. "Why did you leave that night?"

I drop my hand away from her face, closing my eyes briefly. "Gabi—"

"Tell me," she insists. I run my hand through my hair, gripping the strands tightly in frustration. "You never used to hide anything from me."

"And neither did you," I say, snapping my eyes open.

She furrows her brows. "What are you talking about?"

"What the hell did you talk to Aiden about that you couldn't tell me?" I ask with a bite in my voice, my heart racing. Fuck. The alcohol was not a good idea.

"You really want to know?" she asks, leaning forward.

I let out a bitter laugh. "Gabi, I want to know everything about you. I want to know why you felt like you couldn't talk to me."

"I talked about you ."

I blink in surprise. "What?"

Gabi's eyes lock with mine, and she shakes her head slightly. "I told him all about you. All our stories. How my life starts and ends with you." Her eyes flick away from mine. "I told him you were always there for me, even if you had every reason not to be, and how…" She squeezes her eyes closed, shaking her head. "I missed you like crazy, Chris, and I just needed to talk."

"You could have talked to me," I say, my expression twisted with confusion.

She shakes her head, eyes dropping to the floor. "You had a whole life away from me. I didn't want you to get caught up in my mess."

"Stop it." I lift her chin with my hand, clutching her face. "Stop saying you're a mess and acting like you're a burden in my life."

Her eyes start to well up with tears, and my heart sinks. "Aren't I?" she asks quietly.

"No," I say firmly. "You're many things, but you're not a burden. You're the reason I wake up every morning." Her eyes widen in surprise, and I hesitate for a moment but I continue, needing her to understand just how important she is to me. "I need you, Gabi. More than you know," I admit, all the words I want to say caught in the back of my throat. I swallow hard, shaking my head. "You're the reason I want to live."

Her brows dip, concern etched into her features. "You need me that much?"

I tighten my hold on her, brushing her hair back behind her ear as I gaze into her blue eyes. "So much it hurts."

Our eyes lock together, and her lips part. I didn't even realize how close I was to her until I catch the scent of alcohol on her breath. I pull back when I see her eyes glazing over. Fuck, she's drunk.

"Your turn," I say, leaning my head back against the headrest.

"Chris—"

"Your turn, Gabi," I say, my hand running through my hair in frustration, realizing I said too much.

She sniffs, wiping the tears that slipped down her cheek. "Truth or dare?"

She sounds determined, and I know she's going to ask more questions. Questions I'm not prepared to answer just yet.

"Dare."

She raises an eyebrow. "Really?" she asks. She knows I don't back down from a dare, which is why I rarely choose it.

I nod, pressing my lips together. Whatever she tells me to do has to be better than answering her questions about that night.

She unscrews the bottle cap, takes a sip and lets out a deep breath. "I dare you to strip."

"Gabi," I warn. She's drunk, and sad, and this is a recipe for disaster. I start to shake my head, but she stops me.

"You never back down," she reminds me with a smirk. "Strip."

My cock twitches at the command, and I force myself to remain calm. "It's cold."

She replies by turning up the heater, and leans back, eyes raking over my body. "You don't need to get naked. Again." She smirks, her lips curling up at the edges. "You can just take your hoodie off."

This is going to kill me.

I know I shouldn't. She's drunk, and doesn't know what she's doing. This is only going to hurt me in the process. But the look in her eyes is hard to ignore as I pull my hoodie, and t-shirt over the back of my head, tossing them onto the back seat.

Gabi's eyes land on me, and she sucks in a breath, her eyes roaming over my body. Heat rushes through me at the intensity of her eyes on me, and my heart quickens. She's never looked at me like that before.

She's drunk , I remind myself. It's just a reaction to the alcohol.

Her eyes drop to my stomach, and I feel her gaze linger on the scar. She reaches out, her fingers tracing along the rough line on my lower abdomen, and I draw in a sharp breath. Her brows furrow in concern.

"When did this happen?" she whispers.

"A long time ago," I reply, swallowing the lump in my throat.

"Does it hurt?" she asks, lifting her head to look up at me.

"No," I assure her, meeting her eyes. "Not anymore."

Luckily, she doesn't ask any questions, instead focusing on running her hands over my chest, feeling the ripple of muscles underneath. "I didn't know you had abs," she remarks, her tongue darting out to lick her bottom lip.

My cock twitches in my pants at the sight, and I beg to all the gods out there that she doesn't look down, or this is going to get even more awkward.

I swallow, taking a deep breath as her eyes continue to trace over my chest. "You've never seen me without my clothes," I admit. Her eyes flick up to meet mine, a hint of amusement in them. "Aside from that day," I add.

She chuckles slightly, her eyes dropping to my stomach again. "You've been working out," she observes, her tone almost questioning. Her hand continues to trace the ripples on my stomach, and her eyes lock on mine. "I bet the girls in London were all over you."

She lifts her hand, her fingers tracing lightly over my chest, sending a shiver down my spine. I swallow hard, feeling a rush of warmth at her touch as she moves even closer. "Chris?" she whispers.

"Hmm?"

"Truth or dare?"

Fuck . I can't think. My brain is foggy, it's hot in here, and I want her so bad that I can't remember why this is a bad idea.

Because she'll forget.

I suck in a breath, wrapping my arm around her hand, halting her. "I think it's time we stop."

She frowns, shaking her head. "I don't want to stop."

I rake a hand through my hair. "You're drunk," I remind her.

She shrugs. "Hardly."

My jaw ticks. "You're two sips away from doing something you'll regret tomorrow."

Her eyes narrow slightly. "How do you know I'll regret it?"

Because you have before.

I reach into the back seat, grabbing my hoodie and slip it back on. "Just get some rest," I say quietly, avoiding her eyes. "I'll drive us back in the morning."

Gabi doesn't reply. She kicks off her shoes and turns away from me, staring out of the window until we both fall asleep.