Chapter Five

"I mean, who even has a Yahoo address anymore?"

"I don't know, hon." Lulu looked away from the box of brightly colored butt plugs she was inventorying, clipboard in hand. "People over the age of seventy-two?"

"Or sociopaths." Come as You Are was dead this time of day and since Lulu was the manager, there was no one there to fuss at Truly for sitting on the counter.

"Hey, hey! Or work with me here." Lulu threw a dented box at her and Truly just barely managed to catch it. "Luddites."

"He was wearing an Apple Watch." Truly turned the package over in her hands. "Why'd you throw me this?"

"Damaged goods. You want?"

"Is this your way of telling me I need to get laid?"

"I was trying to give you a gift, but hey, if you want to talk about your sad sex life, I'm game."

"Shut up," Truly said without any real heat. "It's not sad, it's solo."

"Hence the Booty Bling Wearable Silicone Beads." Lulu wrinkled her nose. "A terrible name, but the reviews are great. You're welcome."

Truly set the box aside. "I'd rather not talk about my sex life at all."

"No, apparently you'd rather bitch about Colin McCrory."

"Am I not allowed to vent anymore?"

Lulu held up her hands. "All I'm saying is you've spent more time complaining about Colin McCrory, a dude you spent less than an hour with, than Justin, a guy you dated for six years. Don't you think that says something?"

It said that Justin wasn't worth talking about. "I've said everything there is to say about Justin."

"And your parents?" Lulu frowned. "Do you, I don't know, maybe want to talk about them?"

And say what that she hadn't already said?

Not even two weeks had passed since her parents had flipped her whole world upside down and it was already starting to look like this... trial separation? Might not be as temporary as they had led her to think.

Dad had moved into a short-term rental across town that was closer to the theater where he worked. A fact of which Truly had only been made aware when she'd beaten him home for their regularly scheduled Sunday brunch. A Sunday brunch Mom and Dad were adamant that they not cancel because, according to them, they were still a family and nothing among the three of them had to change.

Wishful thinking had to run in the family because everything felt different. Badwrong in a way she could barely put her finger on but made her feel like her skin didn't fit right.

Mom's and Dad's hands didn't brush when he dished out plates of delicious-smelling apricot and pancetta strata and they sat farther apart on the couch than they usually did and they were so polite, so careful, acting more like strangers than a married couple. Truly had wanted to rip her skin off and go running out the front door, but she'd stayed longer than usual, desperately hoping she'd blink, and everything would right itself.

Of course, it hadn't. She'd gone home and thrown herself into work, hammering out a new chapter in her book. Only that hadn't worked out for her, either.

It was hard to write a convincing happily ever after when her own faith in those was turbulent at the moment.

If she didn't get her shit together, she was going to have to beg her editor for an extension, something she hadn't had to do in years.

"I'd rather not talk about the nightmare my life has turned into, thanks. Been there, done that, already went through half a box of Kleenex sobbing my soul out to you on the phone." She grabbed the Booty Bling Wearable Silicone Beads box and turned it over in her hands, just for something to do. "Anyway, do you think he's using a fake email address? Like, I get not using his work address for personal shit, but do you think he—"

"Do I think a guy you met once crafted a burner account just to email you?" Lulu stared at her. "Truly. Babe. Honey bun. This is getting ridiculous. Just call the dude up and set up a time and a place to hate-fuck him. No one, and I mean no one, deserves to be living rent free inside your head if they aren't making you come so hard your brain leaks out your ears."

No one had ever made her come so hard her brain had leaked out her ears. But the idea of her and Colin— "Don't be gross."

"Just saying. Sounds like a textbook case of unresolved sexual tension, to me."

"You're terrible," Truly complained, halfhearted at best.

"And yet you love me anyway." Lulu brightened. "Hey, I know what'll cheer you up. You want to hear about the gallon of lube I had to clean up with a push broom on Friday?"

That sentence made very little sense and yet she was intrigued. "They make gallon-size lube?"

"Well, sure." Lulu swept her long, glossy black hair up in a bun. "Some folks like to buy in bulk."

Truly couldn't fathom what someone had to be doing to go through enough lube on the regular that buying a gallon was economical. "Tell me everything."

Lulu was in the middle of regaling her with the tale of three inebriated college students, a gallon drum of silicone-based lube, one pair of vintage Heelys on the fritz, and a leather crop—whose role in this whole charade Truly still didn't quite understand—when the bell above the door chimed.

"Hello and welcome to Come as You Are, the one-stop shop for all your sexual healing needs. Don't procrastinate; let us help you masturbate," Lulu recited the god-awful greeting that Benny, the shop's owner, had written himself. Truly had offered to help him retool the greeting but upon hearing retool, he'd fallen into a fit of giggles, rendering her offer useless. "My name's Lulu. What can I help you find on this glorious hump day?"

"Truly?"

"Colin?"

There, in all his Bambi-eyed glory, was Colin McCrory. As if she'd manifested him, conjured him through sheer... bitching.

"Hi." He tucked his hands inside the pockets of his black dress pants and rocked back on his heels, inadvertently causing the bell to chime when his ass bumped the door. His cheeks flushed and if a twisted thrill shot through her at Colin looking caught off guard, well, being petty wasn't a crime.

Lulu's jaw dropped.

That's Colin?she mouthed.

Truly nodded and Lulu crudely pantomimed slapping the rear of something—someone?—in front of her.

"What are you doing here?" Truly demanded, sliding off the counter.

"A guy can't visit his neighborhood, uh, sex shop?"

Truly's brows rocketed to her hairline. Neighborhood? Bullshit.

"We prefer the term adult boutique," Lulu said.

Truly harrumphed. "Are you stalking me now?"

Colin blanched. "Stalking you? Why would I be stalking you?"

"Who knows? Maybe calling me reductive wasn't enough. Maybe you felt the need to accuse me of being something else patently false to my face."

"Wow," Colin intoned. His soft, sunshine-yellow button-down stretched obnoxiously across his shoulders when he crossed his arms. "Someone thinks awfully highly of themselves. And for the record, I never called you reductive. I implied that your viewpoint was reductive."

Truly was an amalgamation of all her viewpoints, so how exactly was that any different? "What else would you be doing here?"

"Maybe he came in to do a little light shopping," Lulu said. "All penis pumps are currently thirty percent off."

"I'm actually not in the market for one of those, but thanks?" The pink flush sweeping across his cheeks was not adorable.

Lulu shrugged. "Yeah, I can't really imagine anyone needing more than one."

He blinked, absurdly long lashes fluttering. "That's, uh, that's not why I don't need—"

"Hey, man." Lulu held up her hands. "This is a safe space. I'm not here to judge what you do with your junk."

"That's, um, big of you."

Lulu bared her teeth in a sharklike grin. "That's what she said."

Truly snorted. A mistake because it made him look at her and—those eyes were a weapon. It should be a class A felony to possess eyes that pretty a shade of brown and lashes that thick. All he had to do was flash those Bambi-eyes and people probably swooned. Not Truly, obviously. Other people. He was probably hell to go up against in court.

It took a second to realize he was just staring at her and not saying anything. Unless he'd said something, and she'd missed it? "Why are you looking at me like that?"

The corners of his eyes creased when he smiled. "Is looking at you a crime now?"

Stupid stomach of hers just had to swoop. A distant cousin of the swoon. Extremely distant. Several times removed. Truly crossed her arms. "Maybe it is."

Colin laughed, ducking his head, toe of his loafer scuffing the mat in front of the door, looking as close to sheepish as she'd seen him. "Look, I really was in the neighborhood, okay? I work on Leary Way, and I live up on Baker Avenue near 45th. I drive past this place every day." He looked up at her through his lashes. "I swear I'm not stalking you, Truly."

She sniffed. "So, this is all just a big coincidence? You expect me to believe you come here often?"

One of his brows rose. "Do you?"

Touché. "That is none of your business."

"I saw your car," he admitted. "In the parking lot. I remembered seeing it in the garage at the studio. There aren't that many 1968 Volkswagen Beetles painted like Herbie the Love Bug adorned with eyelashes driving around town."

"It's a '69, actually."

Lulu broke out into giggles. Perv.

"But good eye. So, what? You recognized my car and decided to come in here? You realize you aren't doing much in the way of convincing me you weren't stalking me, right?"

"Stalking would imply I'm following you and I think I established this was a complete coincidence." He held out his arms, palms up. "Come on. You're going to tell me you, of all people, don't believe in fate?"

"‘You of all people'?" Truly wrinkled her nose. "Why, because I write romance novels I must believe in fate?"

"Now you're just putting words in my mouth."

"Are you suggesting it was fate that we happened to cross paths in a sex shop?"

"Adult boutique," Lulu whispered.

"When you put it like that," Colin deadpanned, regaining his footing. The color in his cheeks had mostly dissipated, the tips of his ears still pink. "You ignored my email."

She scoffed. "I did no such thing."

"You're telling me you were planning on responding?"

At some point in the near never. "I'll have you know that I am extremely busy."

Colin looked around the empty store. "I can see that."

Brat."Lulu, here, is not just my best friend, but she helps me brainstorm. She's my—my research assistant. It might not look like it, but I'm working."

Lulu waved her fingers.

Colin's brows knit. "You write historical romance."

"And you think they didn't have sex in the Regency?"

Lulu dissolved into giggles. "You sweet summer child."

Colin huffed. "Of course, people had sex. I just wasn't aware they had"—he leaned closer to the counter, peering over Truly's shoulder, smirking—"Booty Bling Wearable Silicone Beads."

Her face flamed. "Be that as it may, you still haven't addressed what you expected to happen when you walked in here. What if I had been shopping?"

Colin shrugged. "I suppose I would've learned whether you ever replace that stick up your ass with something a little more fun."

His eyes drifted pointedly to the box over her shoulder.

Oh, that son of a bitch.

"One, I do not have a stick up my ass," she said, ticking points off on her fingers.

Colin grinned. "Could've fooled me."

Asshole. "And two"—she grabbed the box off the counter and shoved it against Colin's chest. He barely budged. "That's not mine."

Colin nodded and took the box, turning it over in his hands. "I'm sure that's what everyone says. Just doing research, right?"

Unbelievable. "And three—"

"Please, I'm on tenterhooks," he said, and she wanted to wipe that insufferable smirk off his face. "Don't leave me hanging."

Her pulse thundered in her temples, and it took every iota of self-control she had not to place her palms flat against his chest and push. To find out just how hard she'd have to shove Colin to make him move. She crossed her arms instead, the safer, saner option. "If my memory serves me, and trust that it does, I believe you promised to be on your best behavior the next time we met?"

Colin grinned and rocked back on his heels, cheeky. "Who says this isn't my best behavior?"

Oh, he was on thin ice. "For someone who wants something, you aren't doing very much to endear yourself to me."

Colin leaned in, dropping his voice. "Tell me you aren't having the time of your life right now."

Truly gulped. Audibly. She covered it with a scoff. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"Sure you don't." Colin smiled. "Now, this time, say it like you mean it."

She sucked in a breath. "Are you always such a brat?"

Colin shrugged, much closer than she'd realized. Close enough that his shirtsleeves brushed her arms. "Maybe you bring it out in me."

She scoffed. "How convenient."

"Maybe it is," he murmured, lashes casting shadows against his cheeks as he blinked down at her. "What are you going to do about it, Truly?"

A shiver raced up her spine.

"Don't give me ideas," she warned.

"Give you ideas?" Colin tutted. "Like I'd give myself that much credit. I bet I just... bring them out of you. Isn't that right?"

Goose bumps erupted along every inch of her skin.

"This is better than Pay-Per-View," Lulu whispered.

Truly jumped back and—ow—bumped her hip against the counter.

At least Colin looked equally worse for wear, dazed and embarrassed, one hand gripping the back of his neck, his head ducked, eyes averted. All the better; those things were as dangerous as she'd suspected, practically hypnotic.

"Boo," Lulu huffed. "Just when things were getting good."

Colin shot her a weak glare before turning back to Truly. "Truly—"

"You know," she said, trying to find her footing. Better not to let him finish when her name in his mouth was as good as a weapon. "I'm not sure you're really sorry."

What had he apologized for, exactly? That's right—he was sorry if he'd upset her. Hmph. If.

"Well, that is a conundrum," he said, tongue pressing against the inside of his cheek.

"Isn't it?"

"Colin," Lulu called out, batting her eyelashes sweetly. "Hate to break it to you, buddy, but this store is for paying customers only."

She looked at Truly and smiled deviously.

Oh, brilliant, devious Lulu. Truly owed her big-time.

"What about her?" Colin jerked a thumb over his shoulder at Truly.

"What about her?" Lulu asked. "Truly buys shit here all the time."

"Oh, yeah?" he asked, interest clearly piqued. "Like what?"

"None of your business." Truly sniffed. "I think what Lulu here is trying to say is that if you'd like to patronize this store, you're going to have to make a purchase."

Lulu snapped her fingers. "Bingo." She wandered over to the front window and flicked the sign that read No Loitering. "If you'd like to talk to Truly, you're going to have to pay the piper."

Colin stared at her. "If I want to talk to Truly, I have to buy something? That's what you're telling me?"

"Beauty and brains." Lulu grinned. "Who said they can't coexist?"

Colin laughed. "Wow. All right." He sauntered over to the counter, selected a pack of candy, and slapped it down on the counter. "Fine. I'd like to make a purchase."

Lulu circled the counter. "Ooh, penis-shaped hard candy, nice. That'll be $5.99."

Colin whipped out his credit card.

Lulu hissed. "Oof, sorry, we've got a ten-dollar credit card minimum."

"Ten dollars?" Colin scoffed. "That's ridiculous. And not even legal."

"Them's the breaks, dude," Lulu said. "I don't make the rules, I just enforce them."

Colin sighed and grabbed another bag of the same pastel, dick-shaped candy confections.

Lulu beamed. "Lucky for you, we've got a buy one, get one free deal happening."

Colin sighed. "You're kidding."

"I'd never kid about BOGO sales," Lulu said, hand to heart.

Colin rolled his eyes and slapped yet another bag of dick-shaped candy down onto the counter. "Three bags, then."

Lulu scanned it and hummed. "Oh, no. Did I say buy one, get one free? I meant buy one, get two free."

"Are you pulling my leg?"

"Do I look like the type of person who would joke about a buy one, get two free sale on cock-shaped candy?"

Colin rapped his credit card against the counter. "This is ridiculous."

"Pony up the cash, cowboy, or else get the hell out of Dodge," Lulu said.

Instead of walking out, Colin walked over to the carousel of condoms and grabbed a package of ribbed for her off the hanger, tossing it onto the counter. "How's that?"

"Wouldn't you know, we're running a safe sex savings. A free pack of condoms with every purchase. Your grand total is still... $5.99."

Colin slumped against the counter. "You're killing me."

Lulu grinned, all teeth. "Hop to it, hot stuff. We're burning daylight here."

Colin set off into the store like a man on a mission.

"You're not actually running any BOGO sales, are you?" Truly asked, pretty sure of the answer.

"Do I look new to you?"

Five minutes later, Colin returned, promptly dumping two items onto the counter. "Ring me up, Scotty."

"A nerd. I dig it. Now, let's see what we have here." Lulu started ringing up his items. "We've got four packages of novelty penis-shaped hard candies, one package of Trojan condoms, one Happy Rabbit vibrating cock ring"—Colin flushed—"and a four-ounce bottle of Sliquid Swirl Natural Water-Based Lubricant in the flavor"—Lulu squinted at the label—"pink lemonade." She grinned. "You get down with your bad self."

The way he flushed from his hairline to his starched collar made Truly's stomach twist. She refused to investigate the feeling further.

"Your total comes to $115.72 with tax."

Colin choked. "One hundred and—what happened to buy one, get three free?"

"Aw, shoot." Lulu shrugged. "Your purchases must not have been applicable after all."

He sighed and slipped his card into the reader like a good sport.

Lulu started bagging his items.

"Do I have permission to speak, or do I need to submit a written request?" Colin asked.

"You're barking up the wrong tree, baby boy." Lulu grinned, passing him his receipt and a pen. "Ask Truly."

Colin signed the receipt with a swooping flourish. "Truly?"

This entire interaction had been... not entirely awful. But it didn't magically erase the fact that Colin McCrory had hurt her feelings. That wasn't something she could just laugh off or pretend away.

"Color me surprised you're waiting for my answer. Instead of, you know, running roughshod all over me the way you did during the podcast."

Lulu cleared her throat. "You know what? I'll be in the back. Inventorying ball gags and blindfolds. It was a pleasure meeting you, Colin."

Colin nodded, but waited to speak until Lulu had wandered out of earshot. "Running roughshod over you how, exactly?"

"You're kidding."

A furrow appeared between his brows. "I'm not. You told me you weren't sure whether I was truly sorry, so I'm trying again. But in order to apologize sincerely, I need to know exactly what it is I'm apologizing for."

Jesus.She'd expected him to just—just say he was sorry so he could get it over with before moving on to hounding her about recording another episode. She hadn't expected an actual attempt at contrition.

"That's... big of you," she conceded, crossing her arms like a shield because she hadn't accounted for the vulnerability this would require of her. "Fine. You interrupted me."

Colin nodded slowly, as if he were filing her words away. Actually listening. Actively listening. "Okay. And?"

He expected her to keep going? Air all her grievances? Fine, she could do that. "You... you trivialized my"—feelings—"point of view. We might have had differing opinions, but that didn't make my opinion any less valid than yours." Even if he had turned out to be right. "And it absolutely didn't excuse you calling me—sorry, my viewpoint—reductive. That was rude. And shitty. And out of line."

And a dozen other adjectives she could rattle off if she felt like being redundant for the sake of making her point. And she didn't. If Colin hadn't gotten the gist by now, there was no hope for him.

"Are you finished?"

"For now."

His lips twitched. "Okay." He took a deep, bracing breath in through his nose, broad shoulders rising and falling. "You're right—I did cut you off and for that I apologize. Not only is interrupting rude, but it demonstrates a lack of respect. My actions were antithetical to my feelings because I do respect you. I got caught up in the moment and my passion got the better of me, but that doesn't excuse my poor behavior. I can't promise it won't happen again, but I do promise to try harder in the future." Colin grabbed a feather tickler off the counter, smile going lopsided as he whacked it against his palm. "Just smack me the next time I interrupt you."

"That's for tickling, not flogging." She snatched it away from him with a laugh. "And it hardly counts if you like it."

For a moment, Colin just stared at her, smile disconcertingly soft. Being the subject of his undivided attention made her stomach twist and her toes curl and uncurl inside her sandals. "You have a nice laugh."

Her stomach went into free fall. "That—that doesn't sound like an apology."

Colin ducked his head. "Apologies, right. I—shit." He ran his hand over the top of his head, messing up his hair. "Okay, yeah, I could've disagreed with you without belittling your stance, and for that I'm sorry. It was a dick move on my part, trivializing your viewpoint." There he went again, looking up at her through his lashes. Colin was taller than her but when he did that it made her feel like she was towering over him. "I promise I won't do it again."

And just like that, what lingered of her ire was gone, the hollow in her chest where her anger had resided filled with a burning need to meet Colin's sincerity with her own. "To be fair, the topic is—was?—sort of a sensitive one for me. It doesn't excuse what I said about your career clouding your judgment or the fact that I lashed out at you, but I hope it explains it."

Colin's gaze swept across her face like he was trying to put together a puzzle with only half the pieces. "Was?"

Waswhat? "Sorry?"

"You said was." Colin reached out, plucking the tickler from her clenched fist. She'd honestly forgotten she was still holding on to it. "The topic was sensitive?"

"You, uh, caught that, did you?" She wished she was still holding that silly tickler, if only for something to do with her hands. "My fiancé—ex-fiancé—and I were on a break."

The tickler hit the floor with a whisper of a thud, landing feather-side down before falling onto its side. Colin bent at the waist, snatching it off the ground. When he rose, his cheeks were pinker than they'd been before. "Oh."

"Yeah, oh." Truly snorted and rolled her eyes. "It was his idea. The break, not the breakup. That part was all me. See, Justin, he's in a band and they're on tour. He told me he didn't have the time to devote to our relationship, but that it was temporary and that it wasn't because he wanted to see anyone else. Only, the morning of the podcast, I stopped by his place and caught him... well, he wasn't on tour yet and he wasn't alone, if you catch my drift."

Colin frowned. "I'm sorry, Truly."

She laughed. "Whatever. I'm not even that upset about it."

Not as upset as she probably should've been, at any rate.

It was all more than she'd planned to say, but when he wasn't driving her up the wall, Colin was easy to talk to. Something about those Bambi-eyes loosened her tongue, made her want to spill her guts. Throw her well-whetted sense of self-preservation right out the window.

"Still. That's a shitty way to find out the truth. I wouldn't wish that on anyone."

"Not even an enemy?" Truly teased.

Colin smiled warmly. "You're not my enemy, Truly."

No, she supposed they weren't. She wasn't in the habit of wanting to study her enemies' eyelashes, so.

"I didn't exactly memorize the email you sent, but I believe you said something about convincing me to give the podcast another shot. So, go on." She cocked a brow. "Convince me."