Chapter 6

Luca

T he earliest memory I had of my father was him calling me stupid.

I had no idea how old I was, but I could still picture myself by his feet, inspecting his collection of hockey cards as he lounged on our musty old couch, his face lost in a haze of cigarette smoke. “Fetch your pop a beer, kid.” He’d said, toppling me sideways with a kick to the ribs. I wanted to make him happy, to see his smile, so I ran to the fridge, a spring in my tiny step, a determined set to my jaw. The only problem was I was too small to reach the handle, and the seal was too tight for my chubby little fingers to pry open without it.

“You idiot. What do you mean you can’t open it? I knew you were a stupid fucking Nancy boy, but this is pathetic. Why are you crying? You wanna be a hockey player when you grow up, ya better snap out of it. Hockey boys don’t cry.”

I’d done plenty of dumb shit over the years, but waking naked and alone, the Aussie sun splintering through the cracks in the blinds, was the epitome of proving him right.

“No! No, nononononono! You fell asleep, you fucking moron!”

It was an unforgivable sin. What kind of idiot falls asleep with the hottest woman he’d ever seen licking his come off her almost equally hot friend’s face?

Me.

As stupid as it was, I felt we’d had a spark and shared something other than simultaneous mind-blowing orgasms. But she didn’t even wake me to say goodbye. Discovering she’d left her number, an X-rated photo, and a sassy message— A cooch for my coach —brought mild relief. So, too, did her cheeky response to my text. But eons passed with no further replies, and we had only four hours left in Sydney.

For better or worse, our night was a strictly one-time deal.

Disappointment made a miserable companion during my morning stretches and jog along Sydney harbor, each step cumbersome, like I was dragging my feet through setting concrete. A similar sinking sensation stole my appetite the second I joined Asher and Teddy for breakfast.

“Someone had fun keeping us awake last night,” Teddy smiled, his eyes wider than the plate-sized pancake he was cutting into. “The walls shook with each pounding thrust, and we want details. I know there are plenty.”

Asher made a grunty snort as he passed him the maple syrup. “Maybe if you weren’t standing on the mattress with your ear pressed against the wall, you would have been able to sleep.”

“Oh please, Mr. Innocent. Like it wasn’t your rock-hard boner stab, stab, stabbing me in the back that alerted me to it.”

Glancing at me then Ted, Asher blushed, picked up his plate, and made a hasty exit. “Need more bacon.”

“I can’t believe he’s still so shy about sex,” I said, forcing a smile, a tinge of my woe fading even through the fakeness.

“Thankfully, it’s only when he’s talking about it and not while he’s having it. Now stop changing the subject and spill.”

I leaned back in my chair, taking a moment to decide the best course of action: Tell Ted I was pining over a girl I would never see again after telling him my heart belonged to another only hours earlier, or act the smug playboy?

“You’re a lucky man, Ted. But you’re also full of shit. The noises you heard involved no thrusting. It was a purely verbal—no, oral—interaction.”

“Really?” Teddy hummed. “Yell out if you need a lesson or two, Luca because thrusting can and should be involved in oral.”

“True, but it’s a bit hard to do so in certain positions.” I went in for a high-five, to which Teddy participated with the limpest wrist possible.

“Awesome. Great … umm … go team booby!” He then sipped from his juice and looked at me blankly. “You know I’d love to bro it up with you about said positions, but I have nothing useful to add or ask when it comes to sex involving vaginas.”

Curiosity killed the cat, but I had to ask. “So, you’ve never …”

“Slept with a woman? No. No, I have not. That whole … questioning my sexuality phase was never applicable to me. I knew what I was, what I wanted, and definitely what I didn’t.”

“See, I think that’s both a blessing and a shame. Great to skip the confusion, but the experimentation that goes along with it can be a lot of fun.”

Teddy’s lips curled as he gagged. “I’m sure that’s the case, but if I’m not mistaken, you had some fun of the three-way variety last night, right?”

Returning just as Ted said three-way, Asher muttered, “Forgot the sausage,” and exited again.

“He’s never coming back, is he?” I asked, thoroughly entertained.

“I hope so. He’s got the room key.” Teddy’s eyes followed his man’s ass, then slowly returned to mine. “Now forget him and tell me what happened last night … but not in too much detail … unless it wasn’t just boobies, and then I want verbal details and graphic diagrams.”

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table and dropping my voice. “It was just boobies and sorry, but I’m not one to kiss and tell … except for this. A blonde and brunette working you over at each end is fun. They were both stunners. But one, the brunette, Jasmine.” I whistled through my teeth and took a bite of my avocado smash, a local delicacy I wanted to eat for the rest of my life. Preferably off Jasmine’s bare stomach.

“She was something, hey?”

“Something,” I repeated dreamily while checking my phone … again. Damn, still nothing. “She left her number. I sent her a message, and she replied a few times but then, bam. Nothing. It’s taken all my strength not to call her.”

“Why don’t you? Maybe a little holiday romance is just what the doctor ordered. Byron is only a short plane ride away, and the cost would be nothing to a mega-millionaire like you.”

Spending my weeks in Oz alternating between bed and beach did sound tempting. Then again, so had agreeing to marry a perfect stranger. “Trust me, Ted, romance is the last thing I need.”

“Just sex, then?”

“Just sex?” The words tingled on my tongue the way pineapple and kiwi fruit always did. Just sex? Was that possible with a girl like that?

Thanks for the ride, Cowboy.

Yes. Yes, it was.

“Maybe just sex. But nothing will be happening if she doesn’t reply. And besides, isn’t it… bad? I’ve gone from thinking of no one but Clara, to thinking how much I hate Clara, then miss Clara, and now ...”

Stifling a grin, Teddy reached across the table and squeezed my hand, “And now you’re thinking of the brunette face sitter. See? Romance.”

I pulled my hand from his grip and tossed my napkin at him. “How did you know she sat on my face?”

“I may not have experience, but I have ears and an adjoining wall.” With the hand between us on the table, he stole the last piece of my bacon and took a massive bite, speaking around chews. “You just met her, it’s crazy, but you need to Carly Rae Jepson that sexy minx right now. Call her maybe… you can see her before the flight to Byron.”

Call Me Maybe was stuck in my head, and Jasmine’s photo clutched in my hand.

“Princess, you are a bad girl.” Never before had a girl sent me a photo like that. Boobs and bums, yes. But not … that. The confidence in her body to take it and the straight-up freakiness to do it as I slept made me want her even more.

Dreaming that I was tasting her all over again, I rolled onto my back and gave my hardening cock a short, sharp tug. It felt good. So good I needed more and let loose, fucking my fist with wild abandon while staring at the prettiest pussy I’d ever seen. I could feel the weight of her, the burning restriction of air to my lungs as her thighs squeezed around my throat. Every care, concern, worry, and thought exited my mind. My body was loose yet more tightly wound up than ever before. My world narrowed, becoming nothing more than a need for relief.

You like eating my pretty cunt? Grunting , barely able to remember my name, I came so hard and fast it shot into the air, hitting the bottom edge of my phone before gravity took hold. With a splat, it coated my heaving chest and abs. “Holy shit.” Hands down, it was the best heart-racing, earth-quaking, solo orgasm ever.

After cleaning and disinfecting my phone with sterile wipes I found in the bathroom, I showered, jerking off again to thoughts of Jasmine’s pussy as the steaming water scolded my body and washed away my sins.

Teddy was banging on my door by the time I was dressed and ready to leave. “Hey, Wanky Wankerson. Time to hit the road.”

“Dude! How fucking thin are these walls?”

It may only have been one hour and twenty minutes since we left Sydney but schlepping from the plane at Ballina-Byron airport felt like stepping back in time. There was no fancy-covered gangway. Just mobile stairs to trudge down and a short walk across the cone-lined tarmac toward the terminal. By this stage, any cortisone or dopamine or whatever-the-fuck hormones make you feel like the king of the world after multiple orgasms were gone. Poof! Sayonara. Just like that.

“How long are we staying here?” I grumped to Teddy, who sympathetically rested his head on my shoulder. “Because I do not want to see another plane for a long time.”

“Lucky you have a month to recover then, Hot Hockey Man.”

It seemed fatigue was affecting Asher, too. Tolerance of his man’s flirting was down to record levels. “You do know I’m right beside you, Ted? Are we ever going to lose HHM?”

With a single-handed flourish, Asher was dismissed. “I’m just pumping him up for the locals, babe. He’s not famous down here, you know. He needs all the help that he can get; I mean, look at him. What chance does he stand snagging another piece of tail just being a normal 6’4, gorgeous Adonis?”

Jovial affection I couldn’t have imagined feeling just twenty-four hours earlier, zipped through me like an awesome pre-workout. As annoying as he could be, I had to admit that Teddy had the most amazing zest for life. Even yesterday, after the four-hundred-hour flight, a sleepless night, and a morning spent listening to me get off, he was still chipper. Whatever he was on, I wanted it.

“Thanks for thinking of me, Ted.”

“Anytime, babe.” Taking Asher’s hand, he winked before steeling his always cheeky expression into something akin to seriousness. “Now, Luca, I need to remind you again. Evie is one of my dearest, most loved friends. But she is also terrifying and likely to tear you apart. She may well nurse you back to health once she’s done, but you don’t want to wait and see if that will be the case. With that in mind, remember the following. Don’t tell her to calm down. Never imply she’s overreacting, and never, ever mention her height … or remotely tell her what to do, or—–.”

“Or,” Asher interrupted, “look at her from the corner of your eye or blink rapidly. Nate calls her Gidget, but for the love of fuck, you can’t. And definitely never imply ballet is not a sport. Learned that the hard way.” He protectively cupped his groin, and Ted tapped his chin, lost deep in thought.

“Good point, Ashy. We couldn’t have sex for a week after that.” He stopped and stared into the distance like a daytime soap star before rushing to catch me. “You know what, Luca? It’s probably best if you don’t look or say anything to her unless she speaks to you first.”

Unease prickled beneath my skin. “And we’re staying with this woman for more than a month? Great. Can’t wait.”

Asher offered further reassurance as we entered the terminal, but it mostly drifted in one ear and out the other. I was too distracted by Teddy screaming like a banshee and waving at four of the best-looking people I’d ever seen, two guys, and two girls: a bisexual man’s dilemma.

What is it with airports and hot people? At first, I had no idea who to focus on, but when a tall blond guy I recognized from Ted’s photos as Finn, flashed a killer smile, and ran his hand through his curly, golden locks I quickly made up my mind.

“Teddy,” I thought I whispered while elbowing him in the ribs. “Heterosexuality is such a fucking waste.”

“That’s what I always say! I really do think we’re becoming best friends, Luca. Our bond is almost … spiritual.”

“Excuse me.” Unable to hide her smile, a beautiful redheaded woman scanned me suspiciously. “I believe you’re objectifying my husband and stealing my best friend before we’ve even been introduced.” She then launched herself at Teddy, almost knocking him off his feet with her exuberance before burying her face into the crook of his neck.

“Fuck my heart, Scar,” Teddy gasped, “You smell amazing. Let’s ditch this lot and go make out by the beach.”

That one cuddle was a crack in the dam, leading to another, then another, then swoosh. A tsunami of love the likes of which I’d never seen flooded the terminal. It was glorious to watch but painful, too. Agony. Once again, I was surrounded by love and joy, yet none of it was mine.

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Feeling utterly alone, I scanned the signage, seeking direction before heading for the luggage carousels.

“Hey! Where are you off to, big fella? Not making a break for it already, are ya?” A strong hand gripped my elbow. “Geez. You’re the size of a brick shit house. What does your poor bloody mother feed you?”

Kind of stunned, I managed to stammer, “Pasta mainly.”

“Sounds about right. Oh, I’m Nate. You must be Luca.” Before I could respond, it was my turn to be wrapped in a warm, sticky embrace. Actually, warm didn’t begin to describe it. It wasn’t even summer, but the air was moist and as thick as the layer of sweat I’d amassed in minutes. “Welcome to Byron.” He slapped me on the back a few times, then released me, glancing over his shoulder as Teddy disappeared beneath a mass of red and blonde curls.

“They really missed him, by the look of it.” I smiled.

“You could say that. Admittedly, it has been a long time. The surrogacy planning means the boys haven’t met Finn and Scar’s little girl, Shelby, and she’ll be one before we know it. Or our four, but still. They’re as mad as cut snakes, the lot of them.” Yawning as he spoke, Nate stretched his long arms above his head. “Speaking of babies, this is the first time we’ve been away from the baby twins since they were born.” Rocking back on his heels, he scratched his belly as his eyes slowly closed.

“Wake up, dip.” Finn cruised up beside him, shaking my hand before nudging his brother-in-law awake with his elbow. “Look at the girls, would you? Ted’s been here five seconds, and they’re hanging on every word.”

Nate glanced over his shoulder and nodded. “It’s a bit of a worry. Evie’s still recovering from the cesarean. Hope she doesn’t laugh too hard and bust a stitch.”

While the boys grossed each other out with birthing stories, I zeroed in on identifying which of the hundred generic black spinner cases before me was mine. I had nothing against babies and the process in which they arrived. A wife by my side, carrying our child, creating our family I could lavish praise and love and attention on was something I dreamed of. Having said that, when I thought of babies, I thought of Clara... and Dallas.

Fuck him for stealing that dream, too.

Bags collected, Teddy introduced me to his devoted harem who led us out of the stifling, overcrowded terminal and into the parking lot, a cool late afternoon breeze doing its best to refresh our weary bodies. “Right, so who’s going with who?” Finn asked, tossing our luggage into the back of a massive four-wheel drive.

“I want Teddy!” Scarlett and Evie squealed, lunging for an arm each and dragging him into the back seat. “Luca, Asher, go with Finn and Nate.”

The latter looked delighted by his wife’s suggestion and steamed towards a tricked-out minivan before anyone changed their mind. Since the luxury of choice was not provided to me, Finn piled me into the front passenger seat in an eerily similar manner to how he’d tossed the bags into the trunk. “Trust me, dude. You got the sweet deal.” Nate smiled, his hands caressing the leather steering wheel. “I know I drive a van, but it’s sick. Just got new alloys put on and even had it lowered a bit.” His hyperactive pace of speech meant I didn’t understand what he said. He seemed pretty happy, though, so I just nodded in agreement. “Oh, don’t mention the lowering to Evie. She thinks she’s grown, and I don’t want to disappoint her.” It seemed like a sweet sentiment, but Finn, whose bulking frame was wedged between two baby car seats, began laughing hysterically.

Not for the first time, I felt like I missed the joke.

I really am dumb.

That sentiment stuck as we headed out of the airport parking lot, which the boys called a car park. They sounded like crows … caaarrr paaarrrk. I didn’t point that out, but I did highlight the genuine fear for my life once we hit the road. I knew they drove on the wrong side of the road in Australia, but I legitimately almost shit my pants every time a car approached because, hell, what if the other drivers kept forgetting like I did?

Soon enough, death was forgotten because the boys threw me a lifeline and began quizzing me about hockey. “So, you guys can have a full punch on and not get in trouble?”

“When you say punch on, if you mean a fist fight, then yep. We sure can, but we do get in trouble. If it’s bad enough, we’ll get a few minutes in the penalty box, and if it’s really bad, we might face a suspension. Never was much of a fighter.” Not until Dallas. “But some guys are tossing the gloves every match and paid to do it.”

Finn released a melancholic sigh. “Footy used to be like that, but they’ve made it all PC now. There are hardly any fights anymore.”

“Do you mean Aussie rules?” I asked. “‘Cause I’ve seen some of that on ESPN. The way they catch the ball over the top of guys’ heads is crazy.”

“Dude!” Nate yelled, practically vibrating in his seat. “Do you want to come to a game with us while you’re here? We can make it a boys’ weekend and even prep you beforehand, so you don’t say embarrassing shit like, ‘Catch the ball.’ It’s called a mark here. Consider that lesson one.”

Witnessing a game of Aussie rules did sound tempting, but football wasn’t what made my dick twitch in my pants. Not so little Luca equated Sydney with Jasmine. And Jasmine to getting wet.

My dick was much better at math than me. “That sounds great. I’d love to.”

“Awesome!” Doing nothing to calm my driving fears, Nate celebrated by repeatedly smashing his fists into the steering wheel. “Sydney’s playing a final against the Bombers next weekend. Maybe we can squeeze in a game of league and a pub run-in before we come home, too.”

“What’s league?” I asked to no reply.

“I’ve just emailed all the clients I have on Monday to cancel and am now booking flights,” Finn yelled. “This is so happening... Oh, shit. They’ve got no extra legroom seats left. Damn. Oh well, big fella,” he said with another slap on my shoulder, “Let’s hope you’re as flexible as Teddy said you are.”

Questioning why Teddy would raise my flexibility with two total strangers seemed pointless. Instead, I rested my head against the seat, closed my eyes, and hoped I’d dream of Jasmine.