16. Bella

16

BELLA

N ic's hand is warm on my cheek, his touch gentle despite the intensity in his gaze. He's offering me protection, but can I really trust him?

I stare into his eyes, wanting to believe him even as I know I’d be an idiot to do so. Men like Nic don’t care about anything but getting their own way. This is probably all a big manipulation.

And yet, I want to trust. Maybe it’s the fear and uncertainty that have me needing to give in to him. I want safety and protection, and right now, he’s my best chance for it.

I think back to the past few days, how he fought through his injury and fever. How vulnerable he was, letting me care for him. The conversations filled with banter. The way he kissed me… it felt real, passionate.

But then there’s the chilling revelations about his father. The world Nic comes from is brutal and unforgiving. Am I naive to think he could be different?

“I don’t know how I can trust you.”

His eyes flash with what looks like pain, which surprises me. I can’t imagine he cares about what I think. At any moment, he’s going to stop trying so hard to gain my trust and force me to stay. He’ll probably tie me up again.

Nic's thumb brushes my cheek. "I understand that. I’ll have to earn your trust, but I can’t do that if you’re freezing your ass off in a blizzard.”

The truth is, I don't know if I can make it on my own. The world outside is cold, literally and figuratively. Whoever tried to kill us is still out there. Maybe Nic is the target, but I have no reason to believe that I’d be spared.

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself. Nic's words are tempting. He's offering me protection, maybe even freedom someday. If I leave now, I'd be alone and vulnerable. As much as I hate to admit it, I feel safer around him than on my own. I need Nic.

I look into his eyes, seeing a mixture of hope and uncertainty there. It's strange to think this powerful man might actually care what I decide.

"Okay," I say finally. "I'll stay with you."

The relief that washes over Nic's face is palpable. His shoulders relax, and a small smile tugs at the corners of his mouth. It's not the reaction I expected from a hardened Mafia underboss, and it makes my heart warm despite my best efforts to stay detached.

"I promise I’ll do all in my power to keep you safe.”

I have an urge to melt into him, needing his strength and warmth. But I hold back. I need his protection, but I don’t have to hand over all of myself to him. I can’t give him any more power than he already has. It makes me wonder how much he’s already been manipulating me for my compliance.

“Earlier… when you kissed me… and just now, when you said I'm yours. Why did you do that?”

His brows knit together. “Why did you kiss me in the kitchen?”

My cheeks flush hot as Nic turns my question back on me. Kissing him had been impulsive, driven by a desire I'd never felt before.

Nic's fingers gently tilt my chin up, forcing me to meet his eyes. "It's probably the same reason. You wanted to. Just like I wanted to." His thumb brushes my lower lip, sending shivers down my spine. "Like I want to now."

My heart pounds so hard. I'm caught between desire and fear, wanting to give in but terrified of what it might mean.

Nic's eyes search mine, patient but hungry. "Can I?"

It’s not a conscious thought when I nod. Clearly, my brain has short circuited and with it, common sense has disappeared. All that’s left is need… a need to feel safe, warm… desired.

Nic leans in slowly, like he’s giving me time to change my mind. But I don't want to. I want this, want him, more than I've ever wanted anything in my life.

Nic's lips brush over mine again, and this time, I don't resist. The kiss is soft at first, tentative. I lean into him, my body responding with those new sensations I felt in the kitchen. It’s sweet and frustrating at the same time.

His tongue slides over the seam of my mouth, parting my lips. I open to him, and the kiss deepens, sending warmth through me. It starts in my chest and radiates outward, making my skin tingle, my heart race, and liquid heat pool in my center.

Nic's arms encircle me, pulling me closer, and I melt against him. The way Nic holds me, the gentle yet insistent pressure of his lips, makes me feel cherished. Desired. In the back of my mind, a warning tries to sound, but I don’t heed it. For the first time in my life, I feel like someone sees me as more than just a pawn in some larger game.

My hands find their way to Nic's shoulders, gripping the fabric of his shirt. I'm not sure whether I'm steadying myself or trying to pull him even closer. Maybe both. The world around us fades away, and all I can focus on is the sensation of his lips on mine, the warmth of his body pressed against me.

A small moan escapes me. Nic responds by deepening the kiss further, one hand tangling in my hair while the other rests at the small of my back. It's intoxicating, and I surrender to the feeling completely.

As we continue kissing, Nic's hands slowly make their way along my body. I gasp into his mouth as they graze the outsides of my breasts. My nipples tingle and harden. The feel of his hands on me is almost too much to bear. I've never been touched like this before.

Just as I feel like I’m floating in a haze of bliss, he pulls away. His eyes are dark and hungry, and it sends a delicious thrill through me to know he’s just as affected as I am.

“We should stop,” he says, his voice heavy with reluctance.

I frown at his words, not understanding. "Why?"

“You should wait for the right person."

His words sting. It reminds me that he said I was his but then told me he could give me freedom. Which is it?

I know which it is. He’s not interested in long-term relationships. When he said I was his, he probably just meant to protect. I should be happy that he’s willing to do that and then help me escape the confines of Mafia life.

But that doesn’t mean I can’t take advantage of this moment. “I may not live long enough to find the right person.”

“You will?—”

“You don’t know that. When the snow is done… when we have to leave, we don’t know what will happen. I want to know what it feels like to be with a man who makes me feel… when it’s not a chore I have to endure.”

His lips twitch upward like he’s amused by my comment. “Fucking shouldn’t be a chore. Have you ever had an orgasm?”

Heat flushes my cheeks, embarrassed by the intimate topic. “You know I've never been with a man." That’s part of what makes me so valuable.

Nic's eyes linger on mine. "Have you ever touched yourself?"

I shake my head, unable to meet his intense gaze. His hand moves on my lower back, his touch warm and reassuring.

“It's okay. There's nothing wrong with wanting to experience pleasure."

“If I thought that, I wouldn’t be embarrassing myself by suggesting that you and I…” I can’t bring myself to finish the thought. I’m mortified that I’m having to throw myself at him.

His smile is sweet. “Don’t be embarrassed, Bellissima.” He pulls me close, his body pressed against mine. I can feel his hard length against my belly. “See what you do to me? Should I be embarrassed by what is natural?”

“No. But even feeling that, you said we should stop.”

“You deserve better.”

“Better than what? As far as I can tell, you are better than my other option.”

His jaw tightens, and I swear I see a tug-of-war going on in his eyes. “I tell you what. I’ll give you pleasure… your first orgasm.”

My entire body lights up. He pulls me away from the door and leads me to the bedroom.

His eyes study me as we stand next to the bed. “You’re sure?”

I nod like a bobble head.

He kisses me, and I quickly sink into the wonders of it. Then his hands are on me, caressing and undressing me. I feel like I need to do something, touch him back, but I’m lost in the sensations of his kiss and touch.

He pulls away for a moment, his gaze raking over my body. It’s only then that I realize I’m naked. I start to cover myself with my arms.

“Don’t. Don’t ever hide your beautiful body.” His gaze returns to my face. “Do you understand?”

I give a nod.

“Good. Lie down.”

Lying down on the bed, I feel nervous but excited. He crawls on the bed next to me.

“What about you?” I ask, noting he’s still dressed. I might be a virgin, but I know how this is all supposed to work. He needs to be naked too. And oh, how much I want to see him naked.

He shakes his head. “This is about you.” He lies on his right side next to me, wincing slightly, reminding me of his injury.

“Your wound… I forgot?—”

“It’s not a problem. Close your eyes and relax.”

I bite my lip as nerves threaten to make me chicken out. But I want this. I want all these lovely sensations I’m feeling right now to continue. So I close my eyes and take a breath.

“Now just feel.”

What I feel first are lips along my jaw and neck. Then a large hand covers my breast. I arch into it. Next… oh, my God… his lips are sucking my nipple, and I feel it straight to my core. I gasp, my hands going to his head, holding him to me.

He makes an “mmm” sound that reverberates through me. “You like this?”

“Yes,” I say on another gasp. His hands move down my body, never leaving my skin. I squirm with pent up need. It’s growing, hotter, tighter. It’s torture.

His hand moves between my legs. A rush of heat pools there as his finger brushes over me.

“Oh!” I cry out at the zap of pleasure.

“You like that too?”

“Yes.” My hips rock, wanting more.

“Open for me, Bellissima.”

I like this new nickname.

His fingers explore between my thighs, and it’s beyond anything I’ve ever imagined. He slides a finger inside me, and I feel like I’ve stuck my finger in a light socket. The energy ratchets up.

“Nic… oh…” My hands fist in the sheets, holding on because I feel like at any moment, I might fly away.

“Are you ready?” he asks.

Seriously, I’m not sure.

“Hold on, Bellissima… you’re going to enjoy this.” His finger slides inside me again while his thumb rubs over my hard nub. And then his lips suck my nipple again, and holy moly… my entire body detonates. It’s like rockets bursting inside me, coursing through my blood, lighting up every cell in my body. I buck underneath him, shuddering uncontrollably. The pleasure goes on and on until I collapse.

As I come down from the euphoria of my first orgasm, Nic’s hands are still on me, but they're gentler now, almost soothing.

“How was it?” he asks.

“Oh, my God.”

He laughs. “I’ll take that as a compliment.” He starts to get up.

“Where are you going?”

He sucks in a breath. “Just to take care of something.”

I see the bulge in his pants. I know that he hasn’t felt what I just did. I also know it’s my job to provide it to him.

“That?” I point to his erection.

“Just give me a minute.”

I’m annoyed now. “I want to make you happy too.”

He shakes his head. “This was about you.”

“Then let me touch you too. I want to.”

His jaw tightens again. “Bella.”

“Nic.” I glare at him.

“You don’t need to. I can just…” He makes a motion with his hand that I know means he’ll jerk off.

“If I can’t do that for you, then you have to let me watch you.”

The wild heat that flashes in his eyes nearly incinerates me. But it also gives me power. I’m starting to see the effect I have on him.

Taking a chance, I reach out, my hand tentatively covering his erection. Good Lord, it’s hard. “I want to make you orgasm.”

His hips jerk up. “Fuck.”