47. Aiyana

Chapter forty-seven

Aiyana

Thursday, December 28, 2023

Kas

Still good for lunch at noon?

Yep.

Kas

See you soon!

I roll my eyes, push away from my desk, and grab my purse from under it. I stand and work my coat on, preparing for the short walk across the parking lot toward Giovanni's. I won't admit it to Kas, but I'm stoked for the calamari. I'm also starving, and my rumbling stomach acts as a reminder of that as I make my way through the office and out to the parking lot.

A short, older man holds the door for me as he leaves Giovanni's, and I thank him before heading in. Once inside, I search the room, and my eyes land on a sight that has my stomach in knots and bile climbing up my throat.

Giovanni's is a small Italian café with about ten round tables that comfortably seat two to four people. Each table has a small glass vase with dried wildflowers and maroon cloth napkins at each seat. The atmosphere is very relaxed, and quiet music plays in the background, usually creating a calming environment. But not today.

Today, I'm filled with nervous energy as I meet Kas for lunch because this suddenly feels like much more than I'd bargained for. Since when did we go from sleeping together to lunch dates in the middle of my work week?

My breath leaves my lungs, my body tight with regret because I'll never be able to just give in to our wants. Not while I'm tethered to my desire to fulfill family obligations and make my father proud, especially not now that he's sick.

They got back from their cruise yesterday, and my mom admitted that they'd had to see the on-board medical team a few times. Nothing serious, but the fear of losing him still welled in my stomach, churning bile.

My eyes meet Kas's, and his face lights up with a broad smile. He stands, heading straight toward me. His arms wrap around me in a hug that crushes my body to his, and some of my earlier anxieties begin to dissipate.

We can do this— we can be close friends and support each other without having to be together romantically, right?

He presses a chaste kiss to the top of my head, gently setting me back down on my feet. "How's work?" he asks, pressing his hand into the base of my spine as he steers us toward our table.

I take a seat, grabbing the menu in front of me even though I already have it memorized. "It's been good. I've been working on a project with Rose, and things are coming along incredibly well," I say with a small smile. I feel really good about this project, and I know I've always had Kas's support.

"That's my little viper, kicking ass at work just like she does in every other part of her life." He winks.

We spend the next hour talking about my parents' cruise, and Kas surprises me when he shows me a ton of photos my dad sent him from their vacation. Mom sent me half as many as Kas received, so it was nice to see how much fun they had and that they got to relax a little, considering how much stress I felt when Mom told me his health was a little rocky while onboard.

Kas pays for our lunch and pulls me into his side, walking me back to work.

I come to a stop on the sidewalk, still several yards from the doors to my building, turning to face him. I place my hands on his cheeks and give into the emotions threatening to pull me under. My eyes well with tears as I press my lips to his full, warm ones, and before he can deepen the kiss, I pull away, stepping out of his grasp.

"I'll talk to you later," I tell him, calling over my shoulder as I hurry back through the doors of my office. This is so unfair to both of us. I want nothing more than to be with him every day between now and forever. But when I picture my dad's disapproval, my heart clenches as if he's reaching into my chest, taking my heart in his rough, scarred hands, and squeezing it hard until all the blood gushes out, leaving me empty.

My father adores Kas, but that isn't enough.

***

Tonight, when Kas texts me, I lie. My mind is too confused, and my body is too tightly wound to entertain a conversation with any semblance of normalcy. Just for tonight, I need to wallow in self-pity.

"Just tonight," I whisper aloud, promising myself.

Kas

You okay? You seemed upset when I left after lunch.

Yeah, just tired. Gonna head to bed early. Night Kas.

Kas

Goodnight my little viper 3