37. Aiyana

Chapter thirty-seven

Aiyana

Monday, December 18, 2023

K as's strong arms wrap around me, hauling me onto his chest and almost startling me out of my sleep. Luckily, I realize where I am and whose arms they are before I can scream.

"Good morning, little viper," he says, kissing me between my brows.

"Morning," I answer groggily.

He rubs circles along my spine, just like he did last night. "How are you feeling today?"

"Better. The second day of my period is always the worst."

"I don't remember them being that bad when we were younger. Has the pain gotten more intense?" he asks, peppering kisses over my forehead.

"It has. Not to bore you with the science of it, but if you really want to know, it might be easier if I just explain why the pain is so bad," I tell him, not wanting to get into this if he'd rather I give him a simpler explanation.

"I'd like to know, Aiyana. I've researched endometriosis, but I'm a little confused about some of the details," he says.

Of course he wants to know. Because it's Kas, and he always wants to know more when it comes to me. This is just one reason why no one else has ever compared. I press a kiss to his chest before answering. "So endometriosis doesn't have a well-known cause, but essentially, the endometrial tissue that lines the uterus is very sticky, for lack of a better way of describing it. For someone with endometriosis, this tissue grows in places that it shouldn't, like the outside of the uterus, the bladder, the bowels, basically anywhere in the pelvic cavity. It creates adhesions to surrounding structures, and since this tissue responds to hormonal changes, when I menstruate, it's kind of tugging on all those structures it's implanted itself in." I exhale a long sigh, sliding off of him to roll onto my back. I rest my hands on my tummy and continue. "Which is why it feels like I'm being torn apart from the inside out."

Alarm laces his words. "And there's no cure for this?"

"No. There are several treatments, but each of them has its own risks. Certain types of birth control can help, but they weren't super effective for me and just made me feel bloated and tired half the time. It was like trading one issue for another. I've had a laparoscopic surgery done—that's the one with the camera and the tiny holes in the abdomen so the surgeon can visualize the insides and remove any tissue that's not in the right place. The problem is that any surgery causes scar tissue of some kind, and you can't possibly remove all of the endometrial tissue once it's spread the way mine has. There's also an injection called Lupron that's been really helpful for a lot of people, but…" I hesitate.

Kas chuckles beside me, grabbing my hand. "Little Aiyana is still afraid of needles, huh?" he teases.

"Oh, shut up." I roll my eyes.

"You don't find that at all ironic? You literally formulate vaccines that are given with needles. "

"I see the irony. I just try not to think about it too much. Besides, a vaccine here or there is a little different than getting jabbed every month. I've considered it and even scheduled an appointment to get it, but decided it wasn't something I wanted to start, knowing that if it worked, I'd be doing it for the rest of my menstruating life. Which will likely be many, many years from now."

"Are there any other options?" he asks, sounding hopeful. I love that he's always able to keep searching for the positive in a shitty situation.

"An oral version of something similar came out in twenty-eighteen, and it sounds like that has been really effective for a lot of people, but again, I'm tired of options that would have to become a regular part of my life. Ultimately, a hysterectomy may be the best option for me since I don't want any kids. I could still keep my tubes and ovaries so I won't totally screw up my hormones, but at least I won't have a period to keep angering the misplaced tissues. It's not completely effective, and definitely not a cure, but it's something I'm leaning toward more and more with every cycle," I answer honestly.

"I'll support whatever you want to do, Aiyana. And I'll hold your hand the entire time if you'll let me." He rolls over onto his side, pulling me to his chest and squeezing me tightly.

Emotions well in my throat, and a single tear manages to slip out. I've missed Kas and the comfort he's always been able to bring me.

"Thank you," I tell him softly, enjoying just being held before I have to start getting ready for work.

***

A smile spreads across my lips as I think about how this day went. Usually, I'd still be pretty miserable by this point in my cycle, and I am, but today was a good day regardless.

I got to have my meeting with Rose this morning. I can't help the smile that spreads across my lips. She was so receptive to everything I said, spending hours going over every detail. She even canceled her other appointments for the day to work on a plan for implementing my ideas as quickly as possible. We'll start on Wednesday if everything goes well with upper-level management, and she put me in charge of it.

I was literally beaming with pride when I called my parents to tell them. They were so excited for me, and Dad nearly demanded that I set up a day for him to tour the site. I promised to get them both visitor passes, which Rose approved as soon as I emailed her about it.

Just before I close my eyes, ready to sleep, Kas texts me as he always does.

Kas

Goodnight my little viper 3

Goodnight, caveman.

I tell him, laughing to myself because he's been acting so possessive. I can't even say I mind it. It's sort of sweet having someone fawn over me.

Kas

Ook ook, hear me roar, I am caveman.

Another text comes through of a photo of Kas pounding on his chest.

Ook ook????

Is that how you think cavemen sounded?

Kas

What the fuck else did they say? They weren't exactly very literate.

Goodnight Kassian.

You're ridiculous.

Kas

Goodnight, again, my little viper 3