36. Aiyana

Chapter thirty-six

Aiyana

I 'm not a reckless person. I'd even say I'm not usually very selfish either, but when it comes to my heart and Kas's, I'd say I've been a lot of both lately.

And as guilty as that makes me feel, I also recognize that I'm at my happiest when I'm with Kas. That's how it's always been.

So when he asked to come over tonight, I jumped at the opportunity. I feel like dog shit and probably look like it too, and all I want is some sort of comfort to get me through the worst day of my period.

I keep my eyes closed, hoping like hell this migraine will start to subside soon. Kas should be here soon, but I don't make any effort to leave the bed. He owns the place. He can let himself in.

I do my best to focus on my breathing, trying to ground myself as my parents have taught me to when I feel like I'm losing control. But the pain is searing through me from too many places, making it nearly impossible to clear my mind and release any of the agony.

The groans and whimpers of pain leaving my throat sound almost animalistic; I barely recognize them as my own.

"Aiyana." I barely make out my name, hearing it float into the space around me gently, coating my exposed and raw nerve endings like a sheath.

"Aiyana, baby," I hear again; this time, it's closer.

The bed dips behind me, and I'm suddenly enveloped in warm, strong arms, dragging my body back against a hard chest that I know so well.

"Little viper, tell me where it hurts, and I'll make it go away," he whispers against my hair.

"Everywhere," I whisper back, unable to speak at a normal volume. Everything is just too loud.

"Can you sit up long enough to take some medicine?" he asks me gently, and I nod on instinct, sending a jolt of pain through my skull.

I work my hand under me, trying to push up, but Kas can tell I'm struggling. He lifts me, supporting my body against his. "Open your mouth, baby," he instructs.

I do, and a moment later, I feel the tablets he's placed on my tongue and then a straw to drink from. The cool water feels nice against my throat, which is raw from my cries.

Kas lowers me back down and presses a kiss to my temple and then my jaw. "I'll be right back. Just rest and let the meds work."

I try my best to keep quiet as I lie here, not wanting to alarm him any further. Several minutes pass, and the throbbing in my head starts to subside. I'm finally able to pry my eyes open as Kas is making his way back into the room.

His warm eyes meet mine, and a small smile spreads across his lips. "There are those pretty eyes I've missed," he tells me as he sits beside me, placing a cool cloth over my forehead.

"Thanks, Kas," I say weakly.

"Anything for you, my little viper . Can I pull your shorts down a bit? I got some stick-on pads that heat and cool every twenty minutes on their own."

I nod, rolling the waistband of my sleep shorts down for him. He fusses with a bunch of things lying beside him before placing a large white adhesive-coated cloth on my lower abdomen. The gel on the cloth immediately starts to cool the area, and I can't tell if the pain is actually beginning to dissipate or if it's a placebo effect, but I'll take the win either way.

I close my eyes, my tense muscles starting to relax, and a moan nearly escapes me when I feel Kas start to massage my feet, digging deeply into the fascia at my arch. 1 He takes his time, pressing his thumbs in a strategic pattern I'm starting to recognize from the little bit of reflexology I'd learned about from the didanawisgi or medicine man I'd grown up around.

While the Cherokee tribe originated in northern Georgia, and clearly, much has changed in the last few thousand years, there are still several elders and their families living near here that my father was able to connect with when my parents moved to the area before I was born. And since Kas and I basically grew up together, for all intents and purposes, he learned some of it too. That was something I've always loved about Kas—his appreciation for my culture and learning about it as much as he could. 2 Whether that was just out of his own interest or for me, I'm not sure, but it doesn't matter either way.

As he holds pressure in those strategic places on the soles of my feet, I feel the smallest bit of tension relieved from my pelvis. He starts working his way up my calves, and a while later, he's massaging each hand, pressing firmly over the locations for the ovaries, pelvis, and lower back.

I breathe a sigh of relief; a solid sixty percent of my pain has resolved in the last hour that he's been here, tending to my every need. Including ones I hadn't even thought to consider.

"You feeling better, gorgeous girl?"

I crack my eyes open and snake my hand toward his until it's firmly in my grasp. "I am, thank you."

Kas leans forward, removing the cloth before pressing a wet kiss to the center of my forehead. "Good, I'll be right back."

While he's gone, I turn on the TV to watch Gilmore Girls and set the volume low. Kas comes back holding two bowls and uses his hip to close the door behind him before climbing back on the bed. He hands me a bowl that's piled high with my two favorite ice cream flavors.

Kas leans back against my headboard, stretching out his long, muscular legs. "Oh, fuck yeah, Gilmore Girls !" he says around a mouthful of ice cream, doing a little fist pump with his spoon in his hand.

"Don't tell me this is still your favorite show?" I joke.

"Hey, it's a fantastic show, and it's timeless. Besides, when you know every word, it makes it easy to have it on in the background when you're getting stuff done around the apartment."

"I'm not arguing; you know I'd never argue that it isn't the greatest show of all time. I'm just surprised that you still watch it."

Kas rolls his eyes at me and turns his attention back to the TV as he eats his ice cream. "You remember when we'd watch it every day after school because it was the only thing Kat would watch without getting bored and begging us to change the channel?"

"Oh, I remember. I also remember you having a hissy fit the one time she didn't want to watch it."

"Yeah, but I eventually gave in." He huffs.

"Because you always give in when it comes to Kat." I laugh.

"You and I both know she deserves the world. So who am I to tell her we can't watch Twilight for the fifteenth time?"

I peer over at him. "Tell me the truth, Kas. Did you really love Twilight and just complain when we wanted to watch it so we'd think you didn't? Or did you actually hate it?"

"Oh, I fuck heavy with Twilight . Always have." He smirks as my mouth gapes open. "But Edward can suck it. Team Jacob all day, baby!"

Playfully, I smack his shoulder. "God, you're the worst. All that time, poor Kat really thought she was forcing you to deal with another one of her hyperfixations when, in reality, you were just too embarrassed to profess your love for the werewolf."

"That was a selfless act, Aiyana! Kat would've been crushed if she only knew her very own twin wasn't Team Edward!" He says it dramatically, tossing his forearm over his face as he collapses against the pillows.

"Yeah, well, you're both wrong," I taunt.

He flings his arm back to his side to meet my eyes. "What the hell are you talking about ‘we're both wrong,'?" he says in air quotes. "There are literally four fucking books, with the most pressing concern being whether or not Bella ends up with the sparkly pasty dude or the long-haired dog. Please, enlighten me as to how the hell we could both be wrong, Aiyana." He sounds exasperated, and I love it.

"You're both wrong because Charlie is clearly the hottest character in any of the movies, and honestly, Bella should've ended up as a throuple with Alice and Jasper. They had good vibes. Sexy vibes. That's all I'm saying."

He stares at me, jaw agape as if he's stunned. Finally, he speaks slowly as he says, "I really wish I could argue with that logic, but I'm"—he shakes his head—"Well, shit, I'm inclined to agree."

"Hah, told you so." I wink, turning my attention back to the TV as I shovel more of the silky ice cream into my mouth.

***

I've almost managed to forget the cramping pain in my pelvis as Kas holds me tightly against his chest while we mindlessly watch TV for hours. "You know what show I really miss?"

"Not a clue, but I'm sure you're gonna tell me," I say.

" Flavor of Love ." He chuckles deeply.

My eyes widen. "Oh my god! I loved that show! ‘I've got love for you, New York' was my favorite phrase for a year after watching the repeat season where New York comes back on the show!"

"Oh, I remember. You said it so many times I almost thought my name was New York, but when she got her own show, that was just as good, honestly. Though Flav's signature clock around his neck was iconic."

"The first year we discovered that show, you surprised me on Valentine's Day with a massive wall clock hanging from a bunch of tinsel around your neck."

His laugh reverberates through me from his chest pressed firmly against my back. "It took so much tinsel to hold the damn thing up, I had to braid them together, and it took your dad and me an hour to get it hung up in your room afterward because the drywall screws wouldn't hold it."

"Where'd you even get that damn thing?" I ask, realizing I never had before. That clock is still hung up in my childhood bedroom.

"At one of the estate sales Lola took Kat and me to. Honestly, it's probably pretty haunted."

"Well, that would explain why my window was always unlocked in the morning," I tease.

"Nope, that was most definitely just the gangly boy next door who snuck in your window every night to cuddle you to sleep."

"Ooh, yeah, him! I forgot all about him," I joke.

"I'd flick you right now if you weren't already feeling so crappy," he tells me.

"I don't feel as bad anymore, thanks to you," I admit, lifting his hand and running my lips along his knuckles.

When I release his hand, he brings both of them up behind me to gather my hair, playing with my loose strands, and a while later, he starts braiding them back until it's gathered into one long plait. "Hair tie?" he asks, and I hand him the one off of my wrist.

He finishes securing the ends and tosses the braid over my shoulder to hang down my abdomen.

As we lie here, my eyes begin to feel heavy. "I'm getting tired, Kas. I'm going to get ready for bed."

He follows me, getting cleaned up, and joins me back in the bed after turning off all of the lights in the apartment.

I fall asleep beside Kas as he rubs circles along my back until I fall asleep.

1. Nights Like This – Kehlani (ft. Ty Dolla $ign)

2. Love Language – SZA