Chapter 40

The soft sounds of her mother's deep breaths undulated rhythmically on the pillows behind her, but Scarlett was restless.

Too hot.

She kicked the blankets off.

Too cold.

She got up and added wood to the fire before climbing back into bed and pulling the blankets back over her body.

Sleeping on her belly hurt, sleeping on her side hurt, and sleeping on her back hurt. She propped a pillow behind her back, thinking that she might be able to sleep in a sitting position, but then she just grabbed a light blanket and moved to the chair next to the fire instead.

Ugh! Too hot!

She tossed the blanket into the other chair. The chair that Arran sat in when he joined her for tea and apologized for what happened between them in his study.

Did I love him already then? How long have I loved ye, Arran Williams?

Scarlett sat by the fire quietly, searching for the answers in the flames.

* * *

Soft, almost inaudible knocks sounded at Arran's door. He cleared his throat and walked over to the door, expecting to find a young maid standing in the hallway with a set of firewood in her hands.

He spoke before realizing that it was Scarlett, "Ye can just put the wood over there."

Scarlett looked between him and the fireplace, and then confessed, "It's me. Sorry to disappoint, Arran."

He quickly recovered. "Nay, it's just the usual, um, evening disturbance. I'll be alright for now."

Blast…

She nodded patiently and then peeked around him, before he stood to the side and invited her in.

Scarlett crossed the threshold and walked right over to the chair he had been sitting in and downed the whiskey in the glass.

"Well? Are ye going to stand there or come join me?"

Arran moved quickly over to the opposite chair, and she poured them each another glass.

"Thank ye, lass. How—How are ye?" he asked carefully.

"I feel fine, Arran. How are ye?"

"I'm fine if ye are fine," he confessed.

"I—" she started, but Arran held up a hand to stop her.

"Wait, lass, let me go first," he said and down the whiskey in his glass. "I'm nae saying this after embracing the drink tonight. I'm saying this because I cannae get ye out of me mind. Ye are always there. Even tonight, when I couldnae see or hear anything, it was ye. I suppose it has been ye for quite some time now, but tonight when I thought I had lost ye…" His voice cracked, and he breathed deeply to steady himself.

"Arran—"

"Please, Scarlett, I'll finish soon, and then ye can leave if what I have to say is still so despicable to ye."

Scarlett nodded once, and he continued, "I was terrified tonight. The thought of losing ye was never something I thought would have such an effect on me, but it was. Yer screams?"

He swallowed thickly, his tough exterior cracking slightly.

"Yer screams… I will never recover from hearing them. I apologize for ever making ye feel less important to me than a foolish deal with Clan Donaldson. I was raised better than that. Nay matter the relation, nay business is more important than someone's safety. I'm so incredibly sorry, and I am filled with so much regret over it?—"

Arran's broad shoulders slacked, heavy with exhaustion and relief. His eyes softened as he took in the sight of her, and the lines on his face eased slightly.

"I've been scared, Scarlett. I've been scared to admit to ye that I'm just a walking harbinger of pain and torment."

"What?" Scarlett scoffed incredulously, which halted his speech.

"I ken… I'm sorry… I just needed to tell ye before ye left in the morning. I ken it's revolting to ye. I'm sorry."

"Arran…" Scarlett reached her hand out to him, but he recoiled from her touch. She leaned back in her chair and let him finish.

"I bring pain, and ye will hate everything I do and stand for, just like me first wife did. I cannae put ye through that. It was selfish at first, but I eventually developed genuine feelings for ye…" His eyes found hers in the dim firelight. "Me actions after what happened in yer room last night were detestable and inexcusable."

Scarlett nodded her head silently.

"I love ye, Scarlett Paton."

She stopped moving and stared at him silently. "I love ye, Arran Williams. I came here to tell ye just that."

"Aye? Buried truths and ghosts of the past included?"

"All of it, I've loved all of it. I think I've loved ye since the first day we met."

Arran nodded, smirking. "Well, now that ye ken everything about me, do ye still love me?"

"Aye, I do," Scarlett said without hesitation.

"I've been denying meself from feeling and giving love for so long, that I cannae tell ye the same about when we met, but I can tell ye now."

"Ye did already," she teased and leaned forward, offering him her hands. Arran leaned forward as well and wrapped his hands around hers as she spoke softly, "Arran, yer first wife shouldnae have said those things to ye. It wasnae yer fault. I will spend the rest of me days showing ye just how wrong she was."

"Aye?"

"Every day I can, anyway…" she said.

Arran shifted his weight and placed his hands on the armrests of her chair. Scarlett leaned backward as he stood over her and breathed out her name.

He lowered his head to hers, and she lifted her chin to kiss him softly, but she winced when he touched her swollen lip.

Arran backed away quickly. "Shite, I'm sorry, lass."

"I'm alright, Arran. I'm alright," she soothed as she stood up and placed a hand on his cheek, just like she did during their dance.

"Come," he said and led her to his bed.

She fell asleep quickly, and he watched over her throughout the night. Tears rolled down his cheeks as he assessed her small, bruised body.

Scarlett woke up several hours later. She stretched her discolored arms above her head and sighed.

Arran mirrored her movement and said, "Good morning."

She smiled at him and then realized the addition to her person since she had fallen asleep. She brought her hand to her face, and then her eyes flicked to his. The ring fit her finger perfectly. The design was an intricate Celtic knot with two thin, golden ropes that wrapped around each other. Scarlett remembered Niamh's revelation about her parents exchanging rings at their handfast, and she gasped-

Oh my word!

"Scarlett Paton?" Arran murmured as he grabbed her hand to rub the ring he had put on her finger while she was asleep.

"Aye?"

"Will ye marry me once more?"

Her heart swelled, and tears instantly rolled down her cheeks as she whispered delicately, "With me whole heart, aye."