Chapter 39

The ride back was painfully silent. The sounds of Morag's heavy hoofs galloping through town and back through the forest were their only companion.

"Thank ye for saving me," Scarlett said softly.

Arran pulled on the reins to slow Morag down to a canter before responding. "Lass?—"

"And thank ye for keeping me safe. Ye really are a man of yer word."

"Scarlett—"

"It was all me fault."

"Nay, it was both of us. Ye didnae force me to do anything I didnae desire to do."

"Nay, this—" She gestured toward herself. "Reuben heard us bickering about it tonight, when I brought it up on the way to yer study. He thought it was all just a ploy to get his attention."

"Reuben would have used anything as an excuse to say that. Just because he said he heard us doesnae mean it was yer fault. We were both talking carelessly about it."

"Look, Arran, I failed to keep me end of the deal. Thus, the deal is now void. Ye are released from it."

"Tell me again what it is exactly ye think ye did…"

"I fell for ye, and now all of this happened, and ye willnae be able to finalize the deal with Clan Donaldson."

"Ye shouldnae fash yerself about the agreement, lass. That has nothing to do with?—"

"Nay, I ken I ruined it for Clan McLaren. It's all me fault, and I wish ye would just let me leave ye alone. I'm more trouble than ye deserve. I've put the whole clan at risk. Consider yerself free from the handfast, and the deal, and all of it," Scarlett said with such determination that it made Arran think about the situation for the rest of the ride.

They rode into the castle courtyard, and Arran helped Scarlett down from Morag first before he climbed down and led the pony into the stables.

Ye just saw her life in danger, and ye saw her through the battle frenzy… Stop being a fool, Arran. Ye need her in yer life. Ye love her. But… ye dinnae deserve her.

How could she think that the agreement with Clan Donaldson was more important than her life? Her safety?

Scarlett lingered, waiting for him to reappear and walk back inside together.

Outside her rooms, she shrugged off his riding cloak, but he insisted that she keep it.

"I'll be leaving with me parents in the morning, at first light," she said decidedly, and she held out her hand.

Arran smirked at the act but took her hand in both of his. He lifted it to his mouth and brushed his lips across her knuckles before reaching behind her and opening her door.

"I'll send the healer up with salve for yer bruises, and whatever else ye may need help with," he said and then walked away silently into the darkness.

With each step he took away from her, his soul gripped his heart and squeezed it to within an inch of its life. By the time he got to his rooms, he was panting, trying to catch his breath.

Sorrow consumed him as the harrowing words of his first wife echoed in his mind.

"This is all yer fault, Arran Williams," she wheezed on blood-stained birthing sheets. "Everything bad that happened to me is yer fault."

The light in her eyes dimmed, and with her last breath, she managed to say, "Ye care about nay one else's safety but yer own."

The memory crashed into him, and the hairs on his arms stood on end as his lungs spasmed and he gasped for air. He ran over to the window and opened it, breathing in and out deeply, steadying himself against the sill.

The fire in the hearth roared behind him, and he was again reminded of that fateful day when he lost his first wife and child.

* * *

"Ma?" Scarlett managed to get out, before her face contorted and she started sobbing uncontrollably.

"Scarlett! Where… What happened?" Sienna asked hurriedly as the wounds on her daughter's face and body became clear in the firelight.

"Reuben… Reuben attacked me! Arran killed him…"

Sienna's eyes went wide, and she led her daughter to the chair by the fire. She spoke to the healer when he arrived, and he left her herbs and salves to use for her daughter's injuries. Mrs. Cameron also sent up several buckets of hot water, which Sienna carried in herself.

Scarlett let her mother undress her and watched as she threw the dress into the fire. Then she stepped into the bathtub and eased herself down, so the warm water covered her shoulders. Sienna picked up the lavender and chamomile herbal soap that the healer brought up and carefully bathed her daughter.

After helping her out of the bath, toweling her dry, and getting her ready for bed, Sienna kissed her daughter's forehead and promised to return a few moments later.

Scarlett climbed into bed and waited for her mother to return. Sienna returned quickly, wearing her nightshift, holding a jar of salve in her hand.

As Sienna rubbed salve on her daughter's ribs and arms, Scarlett sobbed quietly. Her mother took her in her arms and rocked her slightly. "Tell me everything, daughter," she hummed and rubbed Scarlett's back.

"Everything?" Scarlett asked through her tears.

Sienna nodded her head. "Everything."

Scarlett sighed and slowed her breathing for a few minutes before she started.

Here goes nothing…

"The first night of the feast, Arran saved me from Reuben, who cornered me when everyone had already retired to bed. I suggested that we get caught kissing, so I would avoid being married to Reuben Buchan?—"

"Scarlett!"

"I ken well enough how shocking that might seem to ye, but I told ye that I wasnae going to marry that psychopath."

"Aye, ye did, and we didnae listen because we thought we kenned best for our daughter's safety and future. I'm sorry we were wrong, Scarlett."

Scarlett hugged her mother. "I'm alright, Ma."

Sienna nodded reassuringly.

Scarlett took a deep breath before she continued, "Well, Arran suggested that we get married instead because he needed to get the council off his back that week—they were pressuring him to marry, and he needed to work on the trade agreements. So, I agreed. He agreed to court me and add in romance, and I agreed to nae forget that it was all a ruse."

"A ruse…"

"Aye, the plan was for us to be handfasted after the feast but then for us to search for a husband for me to marry at the end of the year and one-day commitment."

"When did ye realize it wasnae a ruse?"

"I think I really figured it out tonight, after the handfasting ceremony."

"Ach, reality kicked in?"

"I think I loved him for much longer than that, but I kenned for sure tonight."

"Why did he nae wish to marry?"

"He vowed to never marry again." Scarlett shrugged and realized too late that she had misspoken.

Sienna cocked an eyebrow expectantly.

"Before the war, he met a woman, and she got pregnant. They never loved each other, but he was doing right by here. Only his parents kenned about it. The birth was challenging, and both babe and maither died, but nae before she cursed him for everything bad that ever happened to her."

"Och, goodness gracious…" Sienna breathed.

Scarlett nodded somberly. "He vowed to never get married again."

"That makes sense."

"So, I cannae tell him how I really feel because I ken he doesnae feel the same, because he doesnae desire to marry again."

"Scarlett," Sienna said as she rubbed salve over her daughter's back, "I believe ye should confess it to him."

"Why?"

"Because he obviously cares about ye—maybe he loves ye."

"What makes ye think that?"

"He killed a man with his bare hands tonight for ye. The whole castle was in danger of burning to the ground, and I saw that he was only worried about where ye were."

"What? The castle almost burned down?"

"Aye. Considering everything ye have told me so far, I believe that Reuben might have set fire to the castle."

"Well, Reuben had overheard Arran and I bickering on the steps tonight and then cornered me and knocked me unconscious. That's how I ended up… like this."

"Sure, but he carried yer limp body out of the great hall and through the dining hall, since there's nay other easy exit from this castle without being seen…"

"I'm still?—"

"He knocked down the torches as he carried ye along the wall of the dining hall. At least, that's what I'd like to think, rather than the alternative. I mean, I have kenned the boy since he was a bairn. I'd like to think there was a lovely, respectful, well-mannered man under that rough exterior."

"I guess we'll never ken the truth now," Scarlett mused and then thought about what her mother said.

Ignored his burning castle to find me? Killed a man for me…

His handfasting vow bounced around in her head.

"Protect ye against any foe…"